Itachi opened his eyes
Itachi opened his eyes. After having a flashback on his nightmare, which involved a pony, The Leader and a ballet dress, he felt something wet under his back. He tried to get up. But he couldn't. With huge effort, he turned his head and saw Kisame sleeping. The drool from Kisame's mouth already soaked in the bed and was dripping onto the floor. For about a minute Itachi was looking at Kisame, chewing his pillow in his sleep and thinking whether he should use amaterasu or tsukuyomi on him. Kakuzu is obviously going to kill Kisame for the money wasted on the pillow and the mattress. So Itachi decided to use Sharingan and watch what kind of sick dream Kisame is having. Itachi just loved watching someone else's nightmares. Suddenly, the world has changed colors and Itachi found himself standing, in his Mickey Mouse pajamas in front of a very disturbing picture. Kisame was lying on a huge armchair, extending with blue feet, while his nails were being polished by four mermaids. Behind him, Sailor Neptune in bikinis was making a cocktail. He heard a strange noise behind him. After turning around, Itachi saw a huge bowl of water with a shark from jaws inside. But the thing that disturbed Itachi the most were the copies of him, trying to get away from the shark, and the bloody remnants from the Itachis who were already eaten. Itachi slowly realized that amaterasu would've been much better. After hearing Kisame shout "Good girl" to a shark and seeing the copy of himself decapitated, Itachi teleported to his realm.
-Kisame, wake up you idiot!!
Kisame opened one eye and licked his lips
-You look tasty, Itachi-san – drowsily said Kisame
After fully waking up, Kisame tried to get up and realized something is wrong
-Itachi-san, what is this sticky stuff?
-It's your drool, you idiot!! – Itachi was close to having fried fish for breakfast.
-Sorry Itachi-san ….
-Get me out of here Kisame – Itachi finally started to calm down, after seeing Kisame's dream
After Kisame literally ripped Itachi out of bed, they quietly went to the showers, hoping, that no one will notice them. But suddenly…
-What the & is wrong with you two? – Hidan asked walking out of his room
-Kisame was drooling in his sleep again – calmly answered Itachi, trying not to notice the huge chunks of drool falling of from his hair
-Well that's just &#& gross – Hidan was just as usual. – Plus, Kakuzu's gonna #& kill you both
-That's Kisame's problem, not mine – Itachi answered, trying to get past Hidan as fast as he could, without showing the urge to clean himself from Kisame's drool
-Well whatever, it's not my # problem – said Hidan and went back to his room.
After finished washing off the drool, Itachi, as he expected heard a horrible scream going out of his and Kisame's room. The door slammed, and Kakuzu, ran towards him with a wild look on his face.
-WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS THIS &#& SON OF 5& SHARK?? I'M GONNA & MAKE A SUSHI OUT OF HIM AND FEED IT TO ZETSU!!
-Over there – said Itachi, emotionlessly, without pity pointing towards the washroom door.
-Whoa, Kakuzu, never heard something like that from you dude – Hidan said, walking out of his room
-No, Kakuzu, NO!! – They've heard from the bathroom – You know how I hate the COLD water, NOOOO!!
Hidan and Itachi saw, Kakuzu, walking out of the bathroom, with a wide smile on his face. After seeing them, Kakuzu's quickly faded.
-I am going to report this to the Leader. That's the fourth bed this month! THIS MONTH DAMMIT!!
-Hey, hey, bro calm down…
-SHUT UP OR I'LL KILL YOU!!
-Ha, you can't – Hidan smirked
-Ugh… - said Kakuzu, and went up, to visit the Leader
Down in the kitchen
-Who's turn is to cook breakfast today – asked Pein impatiently – Hurry up, because I'm really hungry and, as said it Tobi's manner: When Pein is hungry – Pein is angry, when Pein is angry – Pein wants to kill someone and when Pein wants to kill someone he usually kills him – Pein glared at Kisame very closely, Kisame turned away trying not to tremble much remembering the 10 bowls of shark fin soup, Pein and Kakuzu (and Hidan who happily joined the party) fed him.
-… So as I was saying, when Pein wants to kill somebody he usually kills that !( fish… I mean the person and when Pein wants to kill the person, he usually does it and very, VERY painfully – Kisame let out a tiny shriek
-… And when Pein kills Kis… him he is very happy but he's still hungry and the best way to make Pein happy is to &# FEED HIM!! So I'm asking you, my fellow akatsuki, who the &#&# is in charge of cooking this morning!?
-Whoa – said Hidan after two minute silence, I guess everyone feels really crappy today. I've never heard The Leader swear except the time when Deidara put a clay bomb in Leader's cake at his birthday party….
- Good times… - said daydreaming Deidara
-Well, I guess it's my turn to cook the & breakfast, so who wants waffles?
-Yay, waffles!! Tobi loves waffles – yelled the hyperactive kid – Tobi cooked waffles in "One of the Cool Kids" fanfic, everyone liked Tobi's waffles!
- I guess it's the waffles then – Hidan said smiling
- I think Hidan is disturbingly nice today – Akatsukis heard Zetsu's voice from the far corner of the kitchen where he was watering himself from a huge sink – Yes indeed answered his another half
- Hell yeah I'm nice – chirped the Jashinist happily – An incredible thing happened yesterday! As usual, I've started my night prayers by shouting the prayers in the air vent; I've read on some guy's Jashin fansite that it really works! And imagine, after two hours of doing nothing but shouting through the air vent and hoping the Great God would here me, Jashin has answered to my prayers!! Can you just imagine how awesome that is!! I was so devoted to the Great Jashin that he answered my prayers!! And plus, he used such word, OMG the words that I never ever heard in my life!! Now I even know what #))(#( means!! It means when your mom &#&()# and #&(# and then everyone are #)#)() after a #(&(#( and &#(#)# for a &#& hour!! I never knew that &( had such a deep meaning and also…..
- Hidan – said slightly annoyed Deidara – um… can you shut up and finish cooking the waffles??
- But why? I've heard Jashin answering me; do you understand how important this is to me??
- Um sorry, but I don't think it actually was Jashin was the one answering you…
- What do you mean Deidara? He answered to my prayers!!
- I think it was Kakuzu who was answering your prayers, his room right next to yours and I don't think that someone can sit all night, while listening to you shouting through the air vent with your prayers. Oh and I also heard Kakuzu, I think you should get some pointers from him if you don't even know what &#(&() actually means and you're supposed to be the foul-mouthed one in our gang!! And please don't shout through the vents anymore, 'cause I think Kakuzu's going to explain the meaning of even more words to you, plus he's probably is not gonna able to sleep, but I don't really care about that…
- But, but… I hate all of you guys – screamed Hidan, dropping the spatula and ran upstairs to his room.
After hearing the door shut, the rest of the akatsukis set in silence for about ten minutes. The waffles were slowly burning. The sun was shining from the windows and the birds were chirping clueless of the lair of pure evil nearby. But no one was thinking about the evil deeds right now. All of them were listening to the cussing heard through the loud sobs from upstairs.
- Well I think Hidan still is the foul-mouthed one… -said careless Deidara
- Wait, so what does the #U#(&# mean? – they've heard Zetsu's voice going from the sink
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