With Your Child's Eyes

by the-universe-and-u

Her daughter already loved the story of how, when she was just a tiny little baby, her Mommy saved her life. But the truth was, Sofie had saved Arizona's life right back, at a time when she was learning was it meant to truly break apart. Calzona.

A/N: So. This is my first Callie/Arizona fic...sort of. The Calzona love and everything is all over it, but it's post-7x18 without a happy ending. It's sad and angsty and tragic, but I haven't been able to get this future AU out of my head since "Song Beneath the Song" aired. So I wrote it. And I'm posting it. I'd love to know what you think.

With Your Child's Eyes

"Aren't you glad we finally did this?" Arizona murmured lazily, letting her eyes drift shut as she tilted her neck back, the sun gloriously warm on her face.

She felt Callie's hand come across the small gap between their beach chairs to grab hers, entwining their fingers together as she laughed. "I'll admit it. One of your better ideas."

"Of many," Arizona reminded her, cracking one eye to glance over at her wife; Callie's black hair piled behind her head on the beach chair, which was leaning back as far as it would go. Arizona was not displeased with this arrangement; it gave her a full, unobstructed view of Callie, a red bathing suit hugging her curves, her legs stretched out into the wet sand.

Callie arched an eyebrow in amusement. "What?"

"My wife is hot," Arizona stated matter-of-factly, her eyes shining.

"Oh, yeah?" Tugging her toes out of the sand, Callie nudged a foot against Arizona's. "Mine's not so bad either."

Scrunching her nose in distaste, Arizona shrugged. "Even though I reek of sunscreen?"

"Even then," Callie assured her, lips twitching. Arizona's skin, brown and freckly from the week in the Spain, had finally begun to burn and redden the night before. Today had been about extra precautions.

A glint of sunlight caught the band on Arizona's finger, momentarily blinding her, and she smiled, thinking idly that she should have removed it before going to the beach.

Glancing over, she saw Callie had apparently taken that precaution.

Catching her looking, Callie again arched an eyebrow. "What?"

"Nothing, just…" She shrugged, a strange feeling coming over her. As though she was forgetting something. "I just…I really love you, Calliope. You know that?"

Callie smiled, opening her mouth to answer, when a wave swept over their ankles, the water suddenly frigid, so much so that Arizona yelped, her legs freezing; she glanced over at Callie to comment, only to find the other beach chair vanished just as another icy splash covered her legs…

~(GA)~

Arizona opened her eyes blearily, the Spain beach dissolving as the maddening blend of disorientation and panic that always accompanied being jarred awake descended over her.

Slowly, she became aware of the small, squirming body beside her, determinedly wedging its feet, bare and freezing, between Arizona's legs, scrambling for warmth.

Sighing, Arizona conducted a brief, cursory mental debate before simply shifting her legs slightly to make it easier on the burrowing feet.

There was talk, recently, about getting Sofie in the habit of sleeping in her own bed, but Arizona still relented more often than not.

The truth was, Arizona liked waking up with her daughter curled next to her. She liked to watch how peaceful and still her little ball of energy became at night. And, if she was being completely honest, she liked the fact that, by giving in on the issue much more often than Mark, it made Sofie's nights here a little special.

Her eyes adjusting to the dark bedroom, Arizona glanced down at the tiny form curled beside her. Under the curtain of black, silky hair obstructing her face, Sofie's eyes were closed, but this couldn't be trusted; the girl clearly believed that if she snuck into bed without being noticed and immediately feigned sleep, she wouldn't be sent back to her own room even if whatever parent she was accosting woke up.

Arizona sleepily brushed the hair away from Sof 's face, breathing in the sweet, honeysuckle smell of her shampoo. As she watched, her daughter reached out, her hand involuntarily closing around a wad of the T-shirt Arizona slept in.

It was this, finally, that confirmed that Sofie's sleep was genuine; she was always grasping in her sleep, never settling until she had a firm hold on something, whether a blanket, a pillowcase, or the tiny stuffed dog Mark gave her last year when she got a booster shot.

It was something Callie, too, had done, and as always, the gesture made Arizona's heart turn over in her chest.

Swallowing, she turned slightly against her pillow, careful not to pull her shirt from Sofie's grip, and slowly allowed her daughter's breathing to lull her back to sleep.

Honestly, nothing calmed Arizona quite like this: the simple of fact of the four year old's presence. Sofie already loved the story of how, when she was just a tiny little baby, her Mommy saved her life.

But the truth was, Sofie had saved Arizona's life right back, at a time when she was learning was it meant to truly break apart.

~(GA)~

Too much is happening. It doesn't feel real, this can't be real.

Leaving the gallery, bursting into the O.R…some sort of instinct had driven her, some pounding, pulsing needs to do something, but now that she's inside she can't move, can't process, can't even breathe…

The single shrill note of the heart monitor, it's been too long since it varied, too long since Callie started crashing, oh, God, Callie's crashing. The baby's out now, Callie's baby, their baby…

"I'm not getting a heartbeat," Lucy says. She calls Alex over.

No heartbeat, not for Callie, not for the baby, and Arizona stands between them, her own heart a limp weight in her chest as she stands, paralyzed.

"There it is…Torres is coming back up."

Mercifully, the note of the heart monitor changes. Callie's alive, she's alive, she's still fighting…

"No chest sounds…"

"We need to intabate."

The baby, they're talking about the baby, about her daughter….

Then Mark looks back at Arizona, their eyes meeting in a moment of understanding, and suddenly two thoughts hit Arizona, with equal force.

We're parents.

Oh, my God, my baby is dying.

Somehow, she moves forward. Somehow, she finds her instincts, her fingers suddenly steady and her vision clear as Arizona does what she's done so many times before, though never with this desperate, terrifying need.

Everything else in the OR fades away, and Arizona is aware of nothing apart from the tiny baby in front of her until she jams her stethoscope into her ears and hears the single most beautiful sound of her life.

"I have a heartbeat," she chokes out, her voice thick with tears. Instantly, her calm fades, and her fingers begin to tremble, her knees going weak beneath her. Thankfully, Alex is next to her, taking over.

Arizona steps back, turning to Mark as tears slide down her cheeks, a weak laugh of pure relief bursting out of her, but Mark has already turned away, and he's staring in horror in the other direction.

Only then does Arizona realize that the dead, frightening sound of the flatline is buzzing through the air, and that the frenzy of activity around Callie has slowed nearly to a stop.

"Callie?" Arizona whispers, so soft no one else can hear her.

"KEEP TRYING!" Mark roars. His eyes are wild, and he swings his gaze around. "Hunt? Derek?"

Chief turns toward them, his eyes sorrowful. "I'm…so sorry."

There's a clatter of an instruments tray, flung aside by Mark's arm, and he's yelling and demanding that they don't stop, and all Arizona can do is stand there, watching dizzily, thinking, "No, it's wrong, they said she was coming back, that's what they said…"

But they're stepping away from her now, and someone unplugs the monitors.

"C…Callie?" Arizona's shaking her head, physically rejecting what's happening in front of her. The pitch of her voice climbs. "Callie?"

"Get them out here," Chief mutters to someone, and suddenly Mark is being dragged away by Derek and Owen, telling him that they're moving the baby, that he should go with the baby. He's thrashing and yelling and something else clatters to the floor, but they manage to remove him from the OR.

"Calliope?" Arizona's voice falls to pieces, and she moves toward Callie, who suddenly isn't surrounded by doctors anymore. "Cal…Callie?" There's a pleading note to her tone, and the barest hint of hysteria. Arizona rests her palm against Callie's cheek, feeling the warmth of her skin.

Later, she will remember Teddy and Bailey repeating her name, the way both of them had been near tears, touching her arm and trying to soothe her. She will remember the Chief slowly clearing out the OR. She'll remember stroking Callie's cheek, and she'll remember truly believing that this was all a mistake.

"Callie, open your eyes. Open your eyes for me, Calliope, please." She is sobbing, her voice a strangled, broken mess. "Callie, wake up, we have…we have a daughter, we have…I saved her, I, I save…please, Callie, please, please…"

At some point, the pleas become a series of whimpers, and then, in a final try, Callie's name gets lost in a low, painful moan. In the next second, Arizona's legs turn to liquid, and she's suddenly just a small, keening ball on the OR floor.

~(GA)~

Arizona touched Sofie's forehead, tracing her finger gently down the bow of her daughter's cheek. "Hey…" She whispered against Sofie's ear. "We need get moving, Sleepy Girl." Already resistant, Sofie burrowed deeper against her pillow, a muffled whining sound escaping her.

"I think there's someone in my bed…" Smiling, Arizona wiggled her fingers up and down Sofie's spine, deftly pulling back the top blanket as she did so. "I think a little bug crawled into my bed in the middle of the night…"

Sofie rolled over, face down and pretending, but Arizona caught a glimpse of her scrunched nose and curled lips to know the hardest part is over. "And I think…I found it…right…" In a quick motion, Arizona jerked the bed sheet, the final layer off Sofie with one hand, the other one tickling the little girl's ribs. "Here."

Sofie, always bright eyed and energized in the morning, twisted away, giggling manically. "Mommy!"

"Morning, Bug." Arizona brushed her lips against Sofie's forehead. "We gotta get moving, okay, sweetie?"

Agreeably, Sofie jumped down from Arizona's bed. "Can you give me two braids today?"

"I can if you get dressed super, super fast. And then you can go see if Daddy and Lexie want breakfast, okay?"

Eyes lighting up, Sofie nodded before running to her own bedroom, typically referred to as "the ladybug bedroom" (distinguishable from "the pink bedroom" that was right across the hall), to get dressed.

Arizona quickly pulled on clothes and tamed her blonde hair into a ponytail, listening for Sofie. Some mornings the girl stalled as long as she could getting dressed in the morning, but today it wasn't long before Arizona heard the door to the apartment close as Sofie dashed across the hall to Mark's.

When Sofie returned, Mark in tow, Arizona had just walked into the kitchen.

"Lexie's making a surgery," Sofie informed her, and as always Arizona couldn't help but grin a little at Sofie's verb choice.

Mark walked around the counter into the kitchen, helping himself to a bowl of cereal as Arizona hastily stuck mini waffles into the toaster for Sofie.

"Mommy, do my hair!"

"Please," Mark and Arizona chorused automatically.

"Mommy, please do my hair," Sofie amended impatiently, waving a brush and hair bands in Arizona's direction.

"Here, I got this," Mark said, plucking the apple juice container from Arizona's hands. "You handle hair duty."

Arizona lifted Sofie onto a stool at the bar and began combing the tangles out of her hair as gently as possible.

With one eye on the toaster and another on the juice carton, Mark cheerfully asked, "You sleep okay, Sof ?"

"Mmm-hmmm," Sofie answered, flinching slightly as Arizona twisted her hair into braids. "I slept in Mommy's bed."

At that, Mark paused to arch an eyebrow in Arizona's direction. "You did, huh?"

With an innocent shrug, Arizona simply stated, "She snuck in in the middle of the night. Didn't even notice."

Mark smirked at her, amused. "Sure you didn't."

The waffles popped out of the toaster, and Mark placed them on a plate before placing them, along with a cup of apple juice, in front of Sofie on the counter.

"Good timing," Arizona commented, tightening the second and final braid. "Hair's good to go, Bug."

Mark turned his attention to his cereal as Arizona began pulling Ziploc bags of food from the refrigerator and packing them into Sofie's lunch box.

She was murmuring a checklist to herself (bologna sandwich, apple slices, juice box, Oreos) when Mark gave her a pointed look. "You better eat something."

"I'll grab a protein bar," Arizona muttered. On good days, she found a bizarre, affectionate appreciation for Mark's concern; on bad days, she found him obnoxiously patronizing. Today, she was merely distracted.

Sofie was eyeing the lunch box suspiciously. "Do I has to stay for Lunch Bunch?"

Lunch Bunch was the optional afternoon section of Sofie's preschool, and she almost always participated. Mark nodded gravely. "You know you do, Sof . Otherwise who will Max have to play with?"

Sofie looked up at him. "Max is staying for sure?"

"I'm positive he is," Mark assured her, as though Max Shepherd didn't keep the same pre-school schedule as she did; if one of them got to miss Lunch Bunch, on the off chance that one of the many adults involved had an afternoon off, the other one would get picked up as well.

"Okay," Sofie nodded, satisfied. Nearly a year younger, Max was in the year behind Sofie at the preschool, which gave her an enormous sense of protective authority over her friend.

Ten minutes later, Sofie was presenting her tiny red Converse shoes for Mark to tie the laces, as Arizona simultaneously helped maneuver the little girl's small arms into the sleeves of her fleece jacket.

Their mornings (and, by extension, nights) varied, based on surgery schedules and number of patients on rounds. Often, an early morning or late night surgery would be the deciding factor on where Sofie slept for the night, as well as who got her ready and dropped off in the morning. They had a variety of routines, alone or together, Mark's apartment or Arizona's, all of them familiar by now.

"You riding with us?" Arizona asked Mark over Sofie's head.

Mark straightened up. "Yeah, we'll have Lexie's car to drive home…you have your thing tonight, right?"

At the reminder, Arizona grimaced. As the three of them started out the door, she attempted an offhanded voice. "Right, well, maybe…I may end up just cancelling."

Throwing her a sharp look, Mark said firmly. "You're not cancelling. You should go." He playfully flicked one of his daughter's braids. "Lexie and me can handle Sof , can't we?"

"Yup," Sofie replied agreeably.

Arizona shrugged a little, dropping the subject. "You got everything, Bug?"

"Mmm-hmm." She tilted her head back to look at both her parents. "Who's picking me up?"

Mark and Arizona glanced at each other and shrugged. Between the two of them, Lexie, and Meredith and Derek, Sofie and Max's carpool from preschool to the hospital day care was nothing if not erratic. "Who do you want to pick you up?" Mark asked, a little teasingly.

Sofie seemed to consider it, and then her face broke into a luminous smile. "Uncle Alex!"

Immediately, Mark and Arizona burst out laughing, rolling their eyes at each other. Alex had recently used an afternoon off to "spring" the kids from Lunch Bunch and take them to Chuck E. Cheese, followed by a trip for milkshakes.

"Karev," Mark grumbled, shaking his head wryly. "We'll never top that."

Arizona laughed with him as they reached the car. Mark buckled Sofie into the car seat and Arizona turned away from them, sighing. She'd forgotten about tonight, and all at once she didn't feel up for it. Those dream, the Callie dreams, always left her drained and fragile, and the fact that she'd had it wasn't helping her enthusiasm for tonight's plans.

~(GA)~

Arizona does not know how long she's been here, crouched on the cool floor of the OR, her arms wrapped around herself as if she might literally fly apart if she loosens her grasp.

Sobs are tearing out of her, hollow, coughing sobs that make her chest ache with their force.

Someone's beside her, rubbing circles in her back. Someone else is holding her hand. She can't see anything; tears are blinding. There are voices, indistinguishable until she hears, "…gotta move her out of here…"

Shaking her head violently, Arizona tries to look up, tries to choke out words. "No, please, don't…don't take her, not yet, no, please don't…."

"Hold on, just back off for a second," It's Alex's voice, harsh and forceful, talking to whoever was trying to move Callie (Callie's body, some distant voice in the back of her head corrects). Then, he's crouching in front of her, his eyes wide and solemn. "Robbins. Robbins, look at me." She can't stop crying. "I know. I know it's bad. I know it's complete crap. But you're going to want to say goodbye. And you gotta do it now."

A shudder rips through her body at the word 'goodbye' but something about the finality of it shocks her into reality. Arizona manages a dim nod, and then she's being pulled up by Alex and Teddy.

"Move out, give her the room," Alex barks at someone, walking away to usher them out.

Arizona's never felt so heavy; she's essentially leaning against Teddy as she stands, approaching the OR table, where Callie's lying, silent and still.

"Callie…." The name is a low, keening note, stripped with pain. Arizona reaches out and grabs Callie's hand, wrapping both of her own around it as though it's her lifeline. "I am so…I am so sorry," she whispers in a broken voice, unsure what she's apologizing for.

For not seeing that truck. For not proposing sooner. For not telling Callie how much she loved her another few hundred times.

She brings Callie's knuckles to her lips, tears dripping onto the limp, lifeless hand as she cries against it. "I love you," she whispers in a broken voice. "God, I love you, I…oh, God, I…I love…"

Then her face is against Callie's hospital gown, tears soaking through, and her hands find Callie's hair under the gauze, her fingers stroking the silky black hair she knows so well…

"Please don't go," Arizona murmurs against Callie's shoulder. "Please. Please don't leave me…"

But she's already gone, and after awhile someone gently tugs Arizona away.

There is no fight in her, no will to move her body, and she sags uselessly against Teddy and Alex, supporting her from either side, as orderlies she doesn't know move Callie out of the O.R.

Her chest feels like it is ripping open, and when Arizona opens her mouth to gulp at air, the gut wrenching, animalistic scream that claws its way out of her throat surprises her as much as anyone.

The screams keep coming, and Arizona barely realizes the raw, terrifying sounds are coming from her when everything goes black.

~(GA)~

There had not been many dates; just a few, all over the last year when she'd finally grown tired of constantly refusing. Arizona had no way of knowing for sure, but she was fairly certain her dates got a good amount of prepping before.

There was always a certain look in the women's eyes, a determined cheerfulness and resolve as though they had been set a challenge, and so Arizona knew they'd been briefed on her Situation. The dead girlfriend, the daughter, the Seattle Grace Mercy West co-parenting team. Arizona never went out of her way to make dates; they were all set-ups, and thus they all went in with a warning.

Tonight's, Sam, was no exception. She knew Teddy…somehow. Arizona lost track of the probably complicated connection, but it wasn't her friends' fault they were running out of eligible lesbian acquaintances.

So far, Sam seemed open to the challenge that a First Date with Arizona Robbins entailed. She was nice, and pretty, with her long chestnut hair, bangs falling across her forehead above seafoam green eyes. She'd been the one to ask about Sofie, seeming genuinely interested in the little girl (though Arizona knew to reign in the Mommy talk).

Now, though, they were swapping career histories. Sam was a teacher, but had apparently taken awhile to arrive at the career choice.

"…had no idea what I was going to do, so I just ended up following one of my Peace Corps friends into Teach for America."

Arizona's face froze, her fingers tightening around the glass in her hand. "Peace Corps?"

Sam nodded. "For a couple years after college. Nepal." She gave a soft laugh, "A bunch of us started planning it senior year. We were so idealistic, but really we just wanted to put off deciding what the hell we were going to with our lives-"

She continued talking, but Arizona was no longer listening. Her throat had narrowed, head swimming as she was thrown back six years ago, to this same bar, on a date with a woman who's name she didn't even remember. No, all Arizona remembered was Callie, interrupting with a determined confidence as she insisted that she had life experience.

Like, for example, her time in the Peace Corps that convinced her to go to medical school.

It felt like the bar was devoid of air, and her lungs were suddenly small, constricted, and needy. Arizona knew this feeling; she was teetering on the edge of a panic attack, something that rarely happened anymore but used to be frequent enough to be completely familiar.

Trying to nod along, Arizona reached into her lap under the bar table and, with trembling fingers, managed a familiar text message, a signal. She pressed send and waited, determinedly keeping her expression relaxed and interested even as she mentally monitored her own shallow breathing.

Within moments, though, her pager began to buzz, and she was able to rush off, begging a hospital emergency, stumbling over apologies and empty promises to reschedule as she gratefully left Joe's.

~(GA)~

"Did it work?"

Arizona lifted her eyes to see Alex Karev standing in the doorway of the attending lounge, looking at her expectantly.

"Yeah," she muttered, threading a hand absently through her hair. "Thanks."

Alex tucked the stack of charts in his hands under his arm as he sat beside her. "So what happened? She have the crazy eyes? Baby fever? Fake boobs?" He paused, then added, "Did she need some fake boobs?"

Appreciating the effort, Arizona forced a small, tight smile. "She was fine," she admitted softly. "I…" To Arizona's horror, tears began to well in her eyes, her breath hitching in her throat. "I miss C-Callie," she blurted out after a moment, her voice thick and broken, lower lip trembling.

Alex softened immediately, draping an arm over Arizona's back as she leaned forward, her face in her hands, elbows braced on her knees. "I know you do."

"I know it's…been four years, it's…," Arizona managed to choke out through halting sobs. "It's stupid…"

"Not stupid," Alex said quietly, his hand rubbing slow circles over her back for several long moments until Arizona straightened, drawing a long, ragged breath.

"I should just…tell Teddy to stop setting me up." Arizona ducked her head, wiping her tears on the shoulder of her shirt, a childlike gesture that made Alex's chest tighten unexpectedly. "Or at least…not meet them at Joe's." She gave a soft, hollow laugh. "That's just asking for a panic attack."

Alex didn't comment for a moment. Finally, he asked, "How come you came back here? You know it was just a fake emergency, right?"

"Yeah, I…" Arizona sighed. "Mark and Lexie have Sof and I just…I don't want them to know I freaked out. I was thinking about cancelling, and Mark's kinda been pushing me to get back out there…."

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do," Alex told her, his voice uncharacteristically somber. He'd developed a serious protective streak for his former mentor (current department head) since the accident four years ago.

They sat in silence for awhile, and then Alex smirked, nudging his shoulder against Arizona's. "You know what we should do?"

"What?"

"You and me should start going out together. Cruise for chicks, you know." He grinned. "We're both hot. Everyone we meet's gonna at least be into one of us."

At that, Arizona laughed out loud. Alex's grin widened at the sound; other than Sofie, he was the best person at making her laugh these days. He arched an eyebrow at her, feigning an expectant expression.

When she stopped laughing, Arizona managed to smirk. "No threesomes."

He rolled his eyes. "You're no fun, Robbins. No fun at all." The pager at Alex's hip buzzed, and he automatically grabbed it. "Gotta go. I'm actually on call." Alex tapped his knuckles against her knee before standing, reattaching his pager to his dark blue attending scrubs. "I'll see ya later."

"Bye. Alex?" He paused in the doorway, glancing back at her. "Thank you."

"No problem," he said warmly. "You know I got your back."

~(GA)~

Arizona tapped her knuckles against Mark's door, simultaneously calling, "It's me."

"Come on in," Mark's voice answered, and Arizona stuck his spare key into the lock and entered his apartment.

Lexie and Mark were curled on the couch, the TV on in front of them. They both smiled at Arizona.

"Early night," Mark commented, a question in his voice.

"Yeah," she agreed, voice neutral. Arizona didn't particularly want to admit what happened. "She asleep?"

"Just turned out the light," Mark told her. "Go ahead."

Nodding, Arizona headed down the hall to her daughter's second bedroom, quietly easing the door open.

"Mommy…" There was a smile in Sofie's voice, though she already sounds drowsy and half asleep.

"Hey, Bug…" Arizona gently closed the door behind her and slips close to the bed. The room was mostly dark, with a small, golden glow coming from a nightlight in one corner. "You have a good night with Daddy and Lexie?"

"Mmm-hmm," the little girl murmured sleepily. "We had mac and cheese."

"Ooh, sounds yummy," Arizona exclaimed; she was sitting on the edge of Sofie's bed, hands absently threading through her daughter's hair.

"Then we played Candy Land."

"And who won?"

"I won three times and Lexie won once." She giggled. "Daddy didn't win at all."

Arizona laughed quietly. "Well, Daddy knows you're the champ." She leaned down, kissing Sofie's hairline, the pressure in her chest lessening for the first time all night when the little girl's arms snaked around her neck. "I love you, baby."

"Love you," Sofie murmured against her neck.

Arizona gently pulled back, starting to ease off the bed. "Sleep tight, Bug."

"Mommy?"

Arizona paused before standing. "Hmmm?"

"Can you tell me a story bout Momma?"

Though this wasn't an unusual request, Arizona's eyes filled instantly, her emotions already fragile after the night she'd had.

Still, she could never refuse Sofie's request to hear about Callie. "Just a quick one," she agreed.

"The chicken pox one?" Sofie requested, sliding over in the small bed. Smiling slightly, Arizona took the hint and lifted her legs onto the bed. Sofie automatically tucked herself against Arizona's side as she began the familiar narrative.

Momma's bandaged hands…Lexie being in charge of keeping her from scratching…Daddy trying to help 'cheat scratch'…Arizona carried the story toward it's familiar end.

"…so I stayed with Momma in bed until she fell asleep. Just like I do when you're sick. And after that she didn't scratch anymore."

Sofie's breathing had evened out, and the weight against Arizona's side had stopped shifting, so she knew her daughter was sleeping.

Still, Arizona didn't move right away. She leaned against the headboard, her fingers gently stroking Sofie's hair.

She didn't know how long she sat there when the door cracked open and Mark's face appeared in the doorway. Arizona flushed slightly, whispering, "Sorry, I'm leaving soon-"

He shook his head mutely, giving her a sort of 'stay' gesture before pulling the door shut after him.

Arizona felt a sudden, unexpected pang of gratitude to Mark. No matter what their disagreements were, he never questioned her at moments like these, moments when she just needed to be near Sofie, to be a mom, to cling to the reason she couldn't let loneliness and grief swallow her up.

~(GA)~

"How you doin'?"

Mark glances up to meet Derek's eyes for the first time since his oldest friend entered the NICU. He doesn't pull his hand from the hole in the incubator, stroking his daughter's impossibly tiny arm.

"It doesn't feel real," Mark croaks, his voice hoarse from lack of use. "It's been…Jesus, it's been a day and a half and it just…it doesn't feel real."

"I know." Derek pulls a chair close to Mark's and sits; his voice heavy with sympathy and the knowledge that nothing he can say will help.

"I'm a dad," Mark murmured, his eyes on the tiny baby. "But she's so little and she's…she's…Callie was supposed to be here." He rubs his free hand down his face, shakily. "How did everything get fucked up so fast?"

"I don't know," Derek answered in a hollow voice. He claps a hand on Mark's shoulder and squeezes. "You know we're all for you."

Mark nods once in acknowledgement. They're quiet for awhile, and then in a low, hesitant voice, he asks, "You heard anything about Robbins?"

Derek nods slowly, watching his friend. "Yeah, apparently…they had a hard time getting her out of the OR."

"I know all that," he mumbles.

"Last I heard she's still here…holed up in an on call room, can't get her to go home. Altman's with her now, but Bailey's been by, and she says…says it's not good."

Marks sighs, his throat tightening. "What do I do here?" he asks finally, voice strained. "I mean what's the…what's the 'good guy' thing to do here?" Derek pulls a questioning face, so Mark continues, "Robbins, she…used to not want kids, not until Torres, she just…just wanted kids with Callie but…but this whole time, we talk like it's her kid, too. So what's the right thing for me to do? To tell her she doesn't have to feel obligated to be a parent or to…to tell her she still can?"

"What do you want?" Derek asks softly.

Mark squeezes his eyes shut, and grits out, "I want Callie to be alive."

There's a pause. Then, "What would Callie want?"

Mark's quiet for a long tiny, staring down at his tiny, sick little daughter, watching her chest rise and fall. He thinks about Arizona in the OR, so focused on saving the baby that she hadn't noticed when Callie started to crash again.

"She'd want both of us," he whispers roughly. "Me and Robbins, she'd…she'd want us both to take care of our girl."

Derek offers a small, tired smile. "Then I think you should go talk to Arizona."

"I said something," Mark mumbles. "Before Callie went into surgery, I…I said something. To Robbins. And it was…bad."

Derek waits, but when Mark says nothing else, he doesn't ask. "Then go fix it," he says simply. "I'll sit here…and start explaining to your daughter why she'll never be able to have a pet frog."

Mark rolls his eyes, a foreign smile touching his lips. "Thirty five years, Derek. Let it go."

~(GA)~

Mark's stomach's in knots when he knocks on the closed on call room door. Instantly, he hears Teddy Altman's voice, "Occupied!"

Still, he cracks it open and peers inside. Arizona is curled on the cot, one arm pillowing her head, the other wrapped around her stomach. Teddy's sitting beside her, stroking Arizona's limp blonde hair, but the blonde doesn't even seem to be aware of her friend's presence.

Arizona's face is ashen and tear streaked. Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy, and even the normally striking blue seems dimmed somehow.

Arizona gives no indication that she heard Mark enter, but Teddy lifts her head to look at him. The cardiac surgeon looks exhausted, and more than a little frightened. "The baby?" she asks in an undertone, as if Arizona can't hear.

"Holding strong," Mark tells her softly. Nervously, he eyes Arizona. "Can we have a minute?"

Teddy nods, looking slightly relieved. She lowers her voice as she walks past him. "Good luck getting anything out of her though."

Soon they're alone, and Arizona has yet to acknowledge Mark's presence. Unnerved, he grabs the chair from one corner of the room and drags it toward the bed so he's sitting across from her.

For a long moment, Mark stays quiet, unsure how to do this. Finally, he states flatly. "So this is pretty fucked, huh?" Of course, she doesn't answer. "I mean this is…complete and total shit." His voice catches, and he presses two fingers to his eyelids. "But, uh…the baby's doing good. She's strong, Addison says she's strong." He hesitates. "You did good. You saved her life."

There's still no response. "I'm sorry," Mark finally continues, his voice pained. "I'm sorry for what I said. You're…you're not nothing. We…we have a kid together. I'm a dad. You're a mom. I mean, if you still want…" He pauses, fumbling. "Callie would want that. She loved you, Robbins. And…she would've said yes, you know? She only wanted the family thing if you were a part of it so…this baby. As far as I'm concerned it's…she's still yours."

Mark stops talking, disconcerted. There are tears streaming steadily down the blonde's cheeks, but other than that her expression has not changed.

Finally, he stands. "Whenever you're ready you should…you should come see her. She…she doesn't have a name yet, but…she's pretty great. She's so tough and…she's a fighter. So you should come see her."

He starts to leave, unsure if anything he said registered, when Arizona's voice, barely a breath, stops him. "I can't…"

Mark turns. She's sitting up, face tight, seemingly struggling with something. When she finally manages to get the words out, her voice is strangled and scratchy. "She's so little. And it's so soon, she…she's going to have to have, s-surgeries and procedures and…" Arizona's face crumples, a low, moaning sob escaping. "I can't lose her, too, I c-can't…"

Her words are lost in overwhelming sobs then, and Mark, alarmed, sits on the bed beside her and tentatively wraps an arm around her. To his surprise, Arizona nearly collapses against him, folding in on herself as she cries.

"Hey…" Mark murmurs, feeling completely out of his depth. "I think she's going to be okay. Like I said…she's strong." He exhales shakily. "But she needs us, I think." Arizona slowly draws back and looks at him, and Mark's voice is firm. "Her parents."

Arizona nods for a long moment, then whispers, "Sofia."

"What?"

"It was…the top of Callie's baby name list. I peeked at it, when we were all making them."

"Sofia…." He says, trying out the sound of it. "I like it."

"Me, too," Arizona whispers.

Mark looks down at her. "You want to come see her?"

Almost shy, Arizona nods. "Yeah."

"C'mon, Blondie." Mark tucks his hand into the crook of Arizona's elbow and pulls her up. "Let's go see our kid."

~(GA)~

Lexie emerged from the bedroom, wrapped in a robe and toweling her hair dry, to see Mark standing outside Sofie's cracked doorway. "Arizona leave?" she asked in an undertone.

Mark shook his head, an amused smile on his face. He nodded inside the room, and Lexie came behind him to get a good look.

Arizona was asleep, in what looked like a slightly uncomfortable position: sitting up, leaning against pillows, her head tilted slightly to the side. Sofie, meanwhile, was curled up against her mom, one hand fisting Arizona's shirt.

"Should we wake her?" Lexie asked in a hushed voice.

"Nah," Mark said, quietly pulling the door shut. "Leave 'em."

"She's going to be sore tomorrow," Lexie commented as she and Mark headed back to the bedroom.

"Probably," he agreed. "But I get the feeling that's exactly where she needs to be tonight."