The rain poured down on me like tears from Heaven, melding with my own. I felt so...helpless. Despite all that had happened to us, yes, I still cared. I just no longer had the strength to keep my feelings hidden, casting them off into the storm that almost equalled my own mourning.
He was gone.
The one person whom I ever cared about was taken away from me, torn away by some dream of his; manipulated by she who raised him, cared for him. Perhaps I was the one to blame. I always cared, yet I never let it show, not ever. Not until that solitary moment did I ever let my feelings out into the open. Perhaps if I had been more sensitive towards him, he would still be close to me. I wished for him to be close again, no matter how much his feelings kept him so emotionally distant. I loved him. I loved him dearly. I loved him more than my own person, lust strong enough to make me give up what I had fought so hard to earn.
Mediocre Instructor...perhaps. Maybe he was right. No, of course he was right. If I had been a fantastic instructor, he would have passed that damned exam. He would have been a SeeD, and perhaps have saved the world with us. Maybe I was destined to be a failed instructor. Everything turned out right in the end, isn't that right? Everything except for my feelings. I had no hope of seeing my beloved again.
I called out his name and fell to my knees, clawing at the moist ground with my gloved hands. I cared not who heard. I didn't care anymore. Let it be known, let everyone know my sorrow with one mournful cry in the rain. Let everyone feel the pain of my tormented soul that boiled inside like an unparalleled inferno.
I stayed there, hunched over, crying with even more intensity for what seemed like hours. My eyes hurt. My lungs burned. My head throbbed. Still I remained, mindless of the agony my sorrow was creating.
I believe it was then that I felt it. At first, it was almost unnoticable, more gentle than the down of a feather on my side.
I bowed forward further, ignoring the rain that fell into my already sore eyes.
This time it was more noticable. I felt an arm wrap itself around my waist, pulling me further upright. I did not resist, rather startled by the touch of it. I allowed myself to relax, pulled against something firm, another arm across my shoulders. I felt at ease now, my tears trickling to a hault, and closed my eyes. I needn't look to see who it was that held me. My heart told me who it was, and if it lied I did not care. This was enjoyable, desired, something I'd wanted to feel for a long time.
Words were said by a familliar voice minutes later, cooing in unintelligable words. I didn't try to understand what was said. Instead, I listened only to his voice.
His voice.
I felt him lifting me to my feet, then into his arms. It took all my sense to hold onto him in return, the only thing that forged through my fuzzy thoughts. I liked this.
He set me down under the safety of my patio nearby, and eased himself down next to me. I couldn't say a word, not a damned thing. All I could do was move, and I did just that to hold myself against him. Could it be at all possible that he felt the same as I did? Yes, for again I felt his arms grip me, pulling me to him with all his strength. I hastily removed my gloves, not desiring them to shield my hands from feeling him. I moved my right hand under his vest, my left already under his heavy coat and resting on his left side. My hand found its way to his heart. It was beating as quickly as my own.
He nudged my head with his own, trying to get me to look at him. I did, finally gazing into his emerald eyes. They seemed to burn with a light I had never seen before, piercing into my tattered soul. He reached his head toward me, and I closed my eyes, knowing what would come. He kissed me, the salt of his lips mixing with my own. I stole a brief glimpse of him, wondering how he looked at that moment. His features, usually so hard and angered, finally showed peace and contentment.
Yes, he did want this as much as I always had.
I closed my eyes once more, the kiss finally broken. His lips lingered for a moment, as if waiting for something. I squeezed his side gently with my left hand, my right journeying towards it to encircle him. It was then that he continued, his lips forming kisses that trailed down my chin and neck. His right arm stayed around my back while his left slowly pulled the zipper on the front of my shirt downward until it came unhooked. He slid the left shoulder of it down my arm slightly, his kisses becoming more intent as they brushed my shoulder. He continued this way across my chest briefly, then held the back of my neck with his right hand. He kissed me more and more and I raised my chin, leaning back into his hand, my hands leaving his body and finding his cheeks to caress while he worked. His left hand urged my shirt to come off, pulling at it until it was caught at my elbows. I lowered my hands, allowing him to remove the garment. He set it to the left of us, then returned his hand to me.
I placed my arms around his neck. He met my mouth with his own, his tongue passing through my lips. My tongue touched his gently at first, no more roughly than velvet. I let him bring up the pace and followed suit as my hands pushed at his coat. He took a moment to pull it off, letting it lie where it fell next to him. I also unzipped his vest, letting it fall off his arms onto the discarded coat. His moist hands grabbed at my back and unfastened the undergarment, pulling it off and adding it to the ever-growing pile of clothing. I leaned back, letting his body rest between my legs. I kissed him once more before he began to pull at my skirt. I kicked off my shoes while he did this, aiding him with my pants to get done more quickly. I did not give him a single moment before I worked at his belt, undoing his pants while his hands ran through my damn hair and removed my clip. I helped him remove the pants as my hair fell down to my shoulders, hearing him whisper my name all the while.
I pressed my body to his, his arms pulling me closer to him than ever before, flesh to bare flesh with only the slight moisture of rain between us. We stayed like that for a little while, holding each other, listening to each others' hearts while the rain fell nearby. Patience escaping me, I eased him onto his back and positioned myself over him. He guided me down, his warmth entering me, filling me. He let me work for a while, perhaps surprised by my daring actions. He first held onto my hips, then moved his hands up to my back when I quickened my pace, his hands grabbing into my flesh. He moaned, and I also felt the end drawing near, but I slowed my motions instead of seeing it through. I stopped, his eyes questioning my own. I began to tun onto my back, not allowing him to pull out of me for even a moment. He read my eyes and picked up where I left off, thrusting with as much passion as I could ever have hoped for. I knew then that the feeling of him was far better than anything else I could possibly experience in a lifetime, better that with anyone else in the world. He was mine and I was his. We completed each other.
My breathing quickened to meet his own, our bodies reacting as if they were one. He called my name once more as he completed his final actions, and I dug into his back with my fingertips as our bodies tremored, at last feeling placid satisfaction accompanied by his release.
He fell against me, exhausted from the task, and we lay there as the rain slowed, then haulted entirely. We crawled up against a nearby wall, his coat warming us with our own body heat. I rested against him, and allowed myself to fall into a sweet, peaceful sleep.