A/N: Bit of an AU Clockwork Princess where Jem dies instead of getting turned into a Silent Brother but everything else stays canon.
o0o
Tessa and Will sat in the Institute's library, each reading their own book, the fire crackling merrily between them. The silence was a comfortable one, and Will was absorbed in his book - one that Tessa had given him, actually - poems by Tennyson.
Suddenly he heard Tessa give a little gasp, and looked up sharply, just in time to see her drop her book and fly out of the room, Without a second thought he was after her, following her down the hall - but when he got to her room the door was shut and locked.
"Tess? Tessa? Are you all right?" Will asked, frantic.
"I - I don't want to talk at the moment, Will," she replied, and her voice was thin and strained.
"You sure, Tess?" he asked, leaning against her doorframe, forehead furrowed in concern.
"Yes," she said, and her voice was stronger. "I'll - I'll be out shortly."
"I'll be in the library, love," he said softly and headed down the hall.
Back in the library, Will spotted Tessa's book lying on the floor, facedown, open to the page she had been reading. Curious, he picked it up, glancing at the title as he did: The Poems of Emily Dickinson. Turning it over, he began to read the poem on the page where Tessa had stopped reading.
I should not dare to leave my friend,
Because - because if he should die
While I was gone, and I - too late -
Should reach the heart that wanted me;
If I should disappoint the eyes
That hunted, hunted so, to see,
And could not bear to shut until
They "noticed" me - they noticed me;
If I should stab the patient faith
So sure I'd come - so sure I'd come,
It listening, listening, went to sleep
Telling my tardy name -
My heart would wish it broke before,
Since breaking then, since breaking then,
Were useless as next morning's sun,
Where midnight frosts have lain!
"Jem," whispered Will, understanding instantly. "Oh, Tess." He felt his own sense of loss - and guilt - rising. He hadn't been at Jem's side when he died. He'd been riding after Tessa, who'd been captured by Mortmain - riding after her at Jem's behest, but it still didn't feel right.
Jem's last words had been their names, Charlotte had told them, breathed one after the other, and neither of them had been there.
No wonder Tessa had fled the room.
Will sank back into his seat, snapping Tessa's book shut, and did not move for a long time.
A/N: I was reading a book of Emily Dickinson's poetry and came across this poem and instantly thought Infernal Devices. She writes wonderful poetry - if you haven't read some of her work and you like poetry, I advise looking her up :)