Okay so, hey. I don't know why I came up with this little idea, but it was all out of a sudden just in my mind, and I decided to write it down. It is a sad Clace fanfiction, so be warned! If you don't like that kind of stuff, don't read this. It made even me sad. This will be the first part, where we see it from mostly Jace, but also a little bit Alec and Izzy. In the next part, will it be from Clary's point of view, to kind of get a look on the events from both sides. I thought that would be interesting. Anyways, enjoy!

Jace's PoV:

The horrifying memory forced its way into Jace's mind. The day Clary had died. He tried to block it out, but he couldn't. In sleep he couldn't control it, and it was what haunted him every night. It was what had been bothering him every single night since her death, and what made him wake up screaming her name in the middle of the night, with Alec by his side, shaking his shoulders.

The streetlights in the alleyway flickered, and their seraph-blades were much needed lighting. The white light lit up their way, and for a moment it felt like the angel was actually with them. Jace knew though that the angel Raziel hated them, and almost chuckled at himself.

They had spotted a demon outside the Pandemonium, and was now following it through the dark alleys, trying to find a way to get to it without being noticed.

Clary had stayed back at the Institute, and Jace was secretly relieved that she had done so. He was always a worse fighter when she was around. She distracted him. he worried about her too much when they were in battle, so when she had told Izzy that she was staying at home, he hadn't objected.

The lights flickered once more, and he looked around in the alley. The walls and the ground were wet because of the rain that was slowly falling around them, and there were big piles of water on ground. Now and then, he would accidentally step in them, just to make Clary smile.

His thoughts drifted off towards her, and he had to blink several time to return to focus. Now wasn't the time to think about Clary. And besides, she could handle herself. She wasn't defenseless.

Suddenly, the demon stood still in the light of one of the street lamps, and we stopped too.

It turned around, and looked at us, with a smooth smile on its face. It was tall, and looked human, thanks to its shapeshifting skills. There was something about it though, that made me feel uneasy, and I soon realized why. It was one of the greater demons. I had learned about him since I was a child; he was demon of misery and death. One of the most powerful princes of hell. He looked around, and saw that Alec and Izzy had recognized it too. He met Alec's eyes, and his best friend shook his head, almost unnoticeable. Jace understood what he meant; don't fight it. But Jace couldn't walk away from a demon, knowing that he hadn't at least tried to kill it. So he did, what he always did; threw himself into a fight with it. Weirdly, right before the adrenaline of the fight wiped away every thought that had filled his head, he thought of Clary. He saw her red hair and beautiful smile before him, and then the fight caught him. Jace didn't think further about it though, and he spun around and cut the demon on the arm. It winced in pain, and backed away, losing its glamour. Now it was a ugly son of a bitch, and Jace attacked it again. This time he hit it in the shoulder, and in made a loud, shrieking sound. Then it lunged towards Jace with such speed, it got a cut in on his arm. It wasn't poisonous, but it still stung.

Just before he could get a stab in that would kill it, moved it to the left a little, so he only made a little bigger wound. He swore. It was too fast.

All out of a sudden, the demon was gone. Jace looked around, confused. It had ran away. He shrugged. There was no way now that they would find it, so he could just as well relax. He turned towards Izzy and Alec, who had been patiently watching on the side. "nice. He got away." Alec said dryly with his arms folded. Again, Jace shrugged. "hey, he's a greater demon, I'm just happy I'm not dead." he laughed. That made Izzy laugh. "okay guys, come on. Lets go home, there's nothing for us here, and Clary is probably bored at home all alone." Both Jace and Alec nodded. The memory of Clary made him smile. He had never met someone whom he loved more than her.

Shadowhunters believed in soulmates, and Jace believed that she was his. When shadowhunters married, divorce was therefore rare, because when a shadowhunter loved, It was full and true and with all their heart. That was why the sorrow of death was so much bigger, which was ironic considering the enormous loss there was in the shadow world. Shadowhunters died on a daily basis from demons, and it was something every kid was taught to deal with, but it didn't make it any easier. Jace knew that. He had lost his father so many times in his lifetime that he knew what loss felt like.

They headed back towards the Institute, and reached the front doors. They were made of oak, and were huge. The old church must have been amazing before the shadowhunters inherited it from the mundanes, Jace thought for himself. Both the inside and the outside of the building was beautiful, if you could see through the glamour that coated it for the eyes of the human world.

They were laughing and chatting, and having a good time all the way back, and it continued when they returned home. It hadn't been Jace's home all his life, but it certainly was now. He loved it.

When they entered, the lights turned on. Jace noticed something black on the floor, but didn't think further about it. They all headed for their rooms to shower after the night, and Alec parted ways with Jace and Izzy in the huge building, heading for his rooms, and Jace and Izzy for theirs. Jace's room was only a few hallways away from Clary's, and he didn't mind that at all. After a little while, Izzy left too, because she lived a little further away too, and Jace gave her a hug. He had never known any other siblings, but the Lightwood children, and he loved them like brother and sister. He would always put Isabelle and Alec before himself.

Jace continued walking towards his room, softly humming an old melody he was playing on the piano. He shot a quick glance at his wrist watch. It showed 11:30 pm. Maybe he would stay up a little, and practice.

He remembered that he should probably tell Clary that they were home, and walked past his own door, and towards her room. When he reached it, the door was closed, and the came no sounds from her room. "she's probably asleep" Jace thought to himself. He lifted a hand, and knocked on the door. No answer. He didn't want to bother her, so he just whispered at the door. "Clary. We're back."

Then he walked towards his own room, and opened the door.

He quickly got changed, and hopped in the shower. The warm water soothed his sore muscles, and he sighed. He was finally relaxed, and then a horrible feeling hit him. It felt like something was wrong.

He got out of the shower, and was dressed in 2 minutes. Jace was raised with trusting his gut, and he swore at himself for ignoring it when he had seen the black stuff down in the hall.

He quickly grabbed a sword, and ran down to where he had seen the black, slimy stuff, and bended down to get a closer look. When he realized what it was, it felt like his blood temperature dropped to nothing. It was demon ichor.

The first thing that rushed to his mind, was Clary. He got up, and ran towards her room. When he reached the door, he slammed it open, and horrible sight met him. Clary was lying on the floor, with her red curls spread around her head like a fan and her sword was lying about a foot away from her. Her white t-shirt was soaked in blood, and her left leg was pointing in an unnatural direction. "Clary!" he rushed to her side. She was lying completely still, and her green eyes were staring blankly into the wall. "no, no, no, no…" he murmured to himself with horror. He grabbed her shoulders and shook them lightly. "Clary, wake up. Come on. Come on, Clary. You're okay" he sobbed, as he bended down over her, and took her head in his hands. "you're okay. You have to be. Wake up, please." his voice broke, and hot, wet tears fell down on her cold skin, but she didn't even flinch. Jace sat up rapidly. He felt the pain burning in his chest, like a fire eating up his heart. And he felt the fear it brought with it. "ALEC! IZZY!" he screamed, even though he knew they couldn't hear him. Then he collapsed over Clary's dead body.

Her curls were still as soft as he remembered them, and her skin was just as soft as always. He ran his fingers over her face and her stomach. There were clear signs that she had been in a struggle, and it had been with a demon. But how? Demons couldn't enter the institute.

But it didn't matter now. She was gone. He was shaking, and painful sobs violently fought their way out. Not that he cared. The pain of losing her made every other emotion seem blurry. He felt confused, angry, sad, lonely and he also felt love, but strongest was the pain. Because by the Angel, he loved her. A memory from a walk they had had in the park a few days earlier flickered through his mind. Autumn was tightening its grip on Brooklyn, and it had been chilly, but beautiful. The leaves on the trees were turning red and brown and yellow. She had been wearing a dark blue, warm jacket and a warm scarf to keep her warm. Her curls had been hanging loosely around her head, and there had been the usual, happy spark in her emerald green eyes. They had been laughing, and smiling and holding hands. It had felt so normal, like they were a normal couple. Her small hand had felt warm in his, and her lips had been warm too, when she had kissed him by the lake in the middle of the park. The sky had been gray, and Jace couldn't remember the last time he was as happy as he had been that day.

He blinked, and the happy memory was gone. In front of him now, was Clary with a tiny stream of blood running out of her mouth, and her skin pale and cold. Her body was lying in an unnatural position, and there was a big wound in her stomach. The carpet around her was soaked in blood too. But the worst part was the dead look in her eyes. They had lost their happy, living glow, and were now staring at nothing, not blinking.

He held her head in his hand, and put his other arm around her to lift her up against him. "no… no…" he kept chanting that little, broken word. He just sat there, hugging her tightly, desperately trying to forget that she was dead.

After a couple of minutes, Alec came bursting into the room. "Jace, what's wro-" he didn't finish his sentence. He had felt that Jace had been upset through the parabatai bond, and had come rushing to him, not knowing what was wrong. Now the sight of his beloved best friend, sitting on the floor, with the lifeless body of his dead girlfriend in his arms met Alec. He had come to like Clary in the past year, and he could tell, that she had clearly made Jace happy. "by the Angel… What happened?" Jace didn't respond, he just sat there, crying, and gently running his fingers through Clary's hair. He would never kiss her again. Never run his fingers over her face. Never tell her he loved her. Never live with her. She was gone. Forever. "Ave Atque Vale" Jace whispered into her ear. "hail and farewell, Clary Fairchild. May the Angel be with you." He gently closed her eyes with two fingers, and the last tear left his eye.

Jace sat up, and took couple of deep, shaky breaths, to keep the crying away. He looked at the clock. It showed 5:30. He wasn't going to sleep again. Like he did every day, Jace shot a glance at the calendar to check the date, but today a shock went through him. It showed that today was the October 16th. That meant it had been exactly a year since Clary died.