MOSHI MOSHI! I've been meaning to start this for a while, just never got around to it!

Summary: "Sasuke… that's not how you change a diaper… "Shut up Sakura! I know how to take care of our kid! Jebus!" "Really? Then why is the diaper inside out?" "…" "Exactly"

"Okay Sakura- now push!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!!"

See that Asian chick with the pink hair, big belly, and constipation face? That's me. Uchiha Sakura- and I'm in the middle of giving birth so kindly GET THE FUCK OUT OG MY FACE!!- If you're wondering how this happened, let's have a flash back.

nine month ago

"Sakura…." A chicken haired man called from the couch with a worried look on his face. "… Yea…"

"Are you throwing up again?"

"UuUUuummm…. No?"

"… Should I go get a pregnancy test?"

"I think so…. AND GET ME SOME FUCKING SKITTLES!"

"Aa…"

Current time

So now I'm 18 and giving birth to my husband's first child. Right now I think my doctor is Tsunade-shizou and Ino-pig is her assistant- "AAAUUUUUUGGGHHH!! WHERES MY FUCKING SASUKE-KUUuuUUN?! IT'S HIS EFFING KII- AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!"

"Sakura…." I look to my left and remember that Sasuke had given me his hand at the beginning of the procedure because I was terrified. Right now he's as white as a piece of paper and I'm currently in the process of cutting off the circulation in his hand. "There you are you ass hole- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!"

Then Tsunade got this big excited smile on her face "I can see the head Sakura- push!"

"HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!"

Then there was a silence… it lasted a while and Tsunade's face got really pale and dull… "… It's not crying..." Sasuke said stating the sad obvious. It was in that instant that my heart almost broke again- "WAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

Tsunade's face lit up again and Ino looked at me with extreme excitement "Sakura- It's a girl!" she said with a slight squeal in her voice. She took a pair of scissors and cut the umbilical cord and she and Tsunade rapped the baby in a blanked and handed the screaming thing to me. Tears began to rise in my eyes as she screamed her little red face off. I looked at her and smiled

"Hi baby… I'm your momma… see that strong man next to momma? ... That's your daddy… Say hi..." I said to her in a soft voice then handed her to Sasuke-kun. He took her into his big arms gently and smiled a special smile at her. Teary eyed, he gave her a kiss on the forehead and said "Hi little munchkin… you're such a pretty girl… just like your momma…"

That beautiful sight was the last thing I ever saw before I died…

I'm just fucking with you- I passed out from all the pushing :D.

"SASUKE-TEEEEeeeEEEMMEEEEEEE!! WHERE'S MY GAWD DAUGHTER?!" was what I awoke to. Then there was a slapping noise, a worried gasp, a sob, and crying baby. I opened my eyes to see Sasuke cradling our new crying baby and a pregnant Hinata rubbing a sobbing Naruto's massive bump that was on his head. "HEY! I JUST GAVE FUCKING BIRTH! I WOULD LIKE TO REST!" I yell to them and they stop their actions… and then the baby starts screaming again.

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID DOBE! YOU WOKE UP MY KID AND SAKURA!"

"SHUT UP TEME! DON'T CALL ME DOBE!"

"DOBE DOBE DOBE DOBE DOBE DOBE!"

"TEME YOU SMELL!"

"YOU SMELL WORSE DOBE!-"

And then the impossible happened "SASUKE-SAN! NARUTO-KUN! SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I SHOVE MY SIZE 6 SHOES UP YOUR ASSES 8!" That was Hinata. Did I mention that she has extreme mood swings as a pregnant chick? Well she does. Then the baby started crying again and Hinata took her from Sasuke and brought her to me caringly "He-here you g-go Sakura-Chan" she said with a gleeful smile and I chuckled an "arigato" to her nervously. Is that how I was? ... I owe Sasuke a tomato then…

The baby stared to calm down and I looked at her. She had dark green eyes and she was in a fresh blanky. "Sasuke… have you checked what color her hair is?" Sasuke had been really worried that our kids would have pink hair- even though I explained it was impossible since none of his family had pink hair- and he wouldn't mind so much if it was a girl with pink hair, but a boy was out of the question.

"Aa." Oh yes, that would mean 'no, I had Tsunade clean and change her. I was too nervous' but being the genius Uchiha he is, he didn't feel like talking about it. Chicken. So now the moment of truth comes. Everyone gets close to her like I am… I slowly pull the blanket back and- "BEAUTIFUL BLOSSO-" then Hinata threw her shoe at his face and Neji and Tenten walked around him and to us slowly, coming to see what was so dam important.

"Hair color" was all Sasuke had to say. I continued the oddly dangerous seeming operation and pulled off the blanket… the color was-

"PURPLE!? MY KID HAS PURPLE HAIR?! NAZE??" That was Sasuke in his Uchiha period mode. Then Ino, Shikamaru, Sai, Kakashi-sensei, and Choji walked in. HOW DO SO MANY PEOPLE FIT IN ONE ROOM!? Right now Sasuke is rolling on the floor sobbing 'why?!' Sasuke is funny when he doesn't get sleep and lives on coffee for a day. "You do know it's just like that for a while, it'll go away in a few weeks…" Ino said- the Sasuke looked up at her with a hopeful face "really?!" "Yea, this happens to babes a lot after they are born…" Shikamaru answered for her.

Sasuke quickly regained his posture and strode to my side "Hn" which is Uchiha for 'omg, there never going to let me live that down…'

"So Sakura- what's the kid's name?" Said Kakashi. Apparently I didn't name her yet. "Well let's see… It's a girl… and knowing Sasuke- he's going to make her really UCHIHA so I should pick a name that goes good with it… his mom's name is Mikoto... Mikiko! Her name should be Mikiko! Uchiha, Mikiko born march 15." I told them.

"Sakura-chan... did you just pull that name out of thin air?" Naruto said questioningly.

I sighed. "No not really... I picked it out when I first found out I was pregnant… It means growing tree, since she will grow to be strong. And I thought it would be cute since my name means Sakura like Sakura trees and Mikiko is growing trees... Bottom line- I thought about it a long time ago!" They all stared at me. I stared at them. It went on like that for a while till Tsunade came in and kicked them all out for crowding the baby's room. So now it's just Sasuke-kun, Mikiko, Shizou, and I.

Tsunade walked to me quickly and took the baby "aww! My granddaughter is so kawaii!!" Did I mention that after trying to kill Sasuke when I told her I was pregnant she got really excited and started talking to my belly? Since I'm like her daughter, Mikiko is her granddaughter. "Aw look she's got a strong grip! She must get it from…" then Sasuke smirked thinking that his daughter is going to be just like him "... Sakura! Oh yes, she's going to be a strong girl Sakura!" and there goes Sasuke joy. Well until Shizune came to retrieve the Hokage, she handed us the baby and he played with her for a while.

And no one cared that Lee had been trampled and hit in the face with a shoe. : D he's still on the floor.

About 6 weeks later we left the hospital and headed to where the Uchiha compound used to be. Now it's just a really REALLY big field with some trees a little lake and a few bare spots where we train. Sasuke is holding my bangs and Mikiko's baby stuff while I play with her. We walk to the house and as soon as I walk in I regret it. "MY GAWD SASUKE! You said you'd try to keep the house in shape while I was at the hospital…" "Aa." Sasuke has been saying the Uchiha phrases more often because he's secretly hoping the baby will say them too. Right now she's in a little pink one-piece and her hair is slowly changing color. It's getting blacker and her eyes are as dark as Sasuke's, but she still had my adorable face.

Sasuke is in simple white shorts and a black Uchiha shirt. I'm in a pair of black pants and a pink shirt with the Uchiha crest in the back.

Right now the house is a pig pen! There are all these packs of ramen and food everywhere and tomatoes! And clothes and garbage... it's just disgusting. The funny art is that Naruto is asleep under the stuff and Hinata is on the couch with a clean neat area around her. "You asked them to watch the house too?" "Hn." Then the baby giggled.

It's a short chapter because if you were bored you could stop without wasting your time. Sasuke seems OC but how would you act if you could only live on coffee for a day, had no sleep, and dealt with a baby that had lungs of steal?! Exactly. What does it need, funnier? : D if you have any suggestions or questions comment them.

OH! And plz no flames. I don't want to get burned.

PS! The pairings are Sasusaku Nejiten ShikaIno NaruHina and whatever else seems important…. O.o….

REVIEW OR GAARA WILL STOP BEING CUTE!

Gaara: 8 I WILL!