May the lord take pity on the stuffed lion plushie.
Kon sat on Ichigo's bedside table, glaring at the orange-hired teenager murderously, while said orange-haired teenager looked Kon over.
The stuffed lion plushie was covered in dirt, lint, jelly –God only knows were he got that from– and had a small sticky patch on his leg that looked kinda like tomato sauce.
"What were you doing under my bed?" asked Ichigo gruffly.
"Hiding from you." the stuffed lion answered, just as gruffly, standing up and sitting on Ichigo's bedside clock, which was ticking away, it's hands saying it was five pm.
Ichigo looked over at the closet that Rukia usually slept in, and looked back at Kon.
Rukia was currently having an all-girls' evening with Inoue, Tatsuki and the rest of the girls from school.
"You're really dirty." sighed Ichigo, crossing his arms and tilting his head to the side.
"So what!" shouted Kon.
"You should be cleaned..."
Kon's beaded eyes widened and stared at the predatory grin on Ichigo's face.
Before Kon could scream for his little cotton life and run for it, Ichigo had grabbed him with two hands and grinned down at him.
Kon's screams were muffled, since Ichigo had one hand clamped tightly over his small mouth, walking out of his room nonchalantly, as though holding a struggling, screaming lion plushie was something completely normal.
Kon's screams, still muffled, got shriller as he saw where Ichigo was walking toward.
Ichigo gasped as he felt sharp, tiny teeth sink into his hand and he yanked it away, glaring down at kon as the lion protested.
"You're not flushing me down the toilet!" shrieked Kon, yanking one of his tiny stuffed arms out of Ichigo's grip and pointed a shaking, triangle finger at the door in front of Ichigo that had the word 'Bathroom' printed on it.
"Nii-san? You okay?" came a questioning voice from downstairs.
"It's nothing, Yuzu!" Ichigo called back, placing a finger in Kon's mouth to gag him, opening the bathroom door with his other hand.
Kon resigned to his fate as he watched Ichigo lock the door and windows, wondering faintly why Ichigo's finger tasted like chicken.
Ichigo placed the toilet lid down and placed Kon onto it, rubbing his finger, which, by now, had tiny teeth-marks in it.
Kon let out a growl, while Ichigo just looked at him, as though studying him.
"Oh well. It's not like she'll notice." sighed Ichigo, seeming to talk to himself as he knelt next to the large bath-tub, turning the hot water tap and sticking his finger under it to test the temperature.
Kon watched Ichigo's back for a while, waiting for an explanation, but none came. Ichigo merely, when he found the suitable water temperature, took the bath-plug and placed it in it's proper place, placing his elbows on the edge of the tub, watching it fill.
"Oi! Ichi!" chirped Kon, jumping off the lid of the toilet and onto Ichigo's shoulder. "What are you doing?"
The teen shrugged, nearly making Kon fall off before he got a good enough grip, still watching the water.
"Why don't you tell me anything!" whined Kon dramatically, his tiny lion hands clutching the side of Ichigo's collar his body draped in between Ichigo's shoulder blades, his head poking around the teen's ear.
"Nothing to tell. You'll just tease me." sighed Ichigo, turning off the taps and grabbing a bar of soap.
Before Kon could get interested in what Ichigo said, the teen grabbed him and dunked the stuffed lion into the elbow-high warm water.
Kon struggled with all his might as he was held at the bottom of the bathtub, feeling Ichigo squeeze him to get the air out of his stuffing. It hurt!
Just before Kon was about to pass out from the squeezing and suffocation, Ichigo pulled him to the surface of the water again.
Kon gasped and spluttered, shaking his water-logged, heavy limbs, spraying tiny water-droplets everywhere.
"Stop moving." Ichigo grunted, squeezing Kon around the middle again.
"Stop squeezing me!" Kon barked, splashing Ichigo.
The teen just shrugged, shaking the small amount of water out of his hair and blinking it out of his eye as he rubbed the bar of soap on a particularly dirty spot on Kon's cheek.
The stuffed lion frowned. The soap smelt like jasmine and sandalwood, but Ichigo was working rather intently on the stain on Kon's cheek... and was being gentle at the same time. Err... wha?
Kon was silent as Ichigo placed the soap on the side of the tub, rubbing Kon's cheek with his thumb, then finally, Kon just had to say it.
"Who are you and what have you done with Ichigo?"
Ichigo froze, meeting Kon with a very flat look, while the lion grinned.
Kon flailed and struggled as he was shoved to the bottom of the tub again and was squeezed rather roughly.
"Alright! Alright!" screamed Kon as he was pulled to the surface again, gasping for air.
Ichigo let Kon go and took the soap again in one hand, ignoring the screaming and splashing that was coming from the now rather-quickly-sinking plushie.
Ichigo lathered his hands with the nice-smelling soap and looked down to see Kon floating a few centimeters below the surface, trying so desperately to get back up.
Ichigo smirked and lowered one of his pinky-fingers into the water, Kon immediately grabbing hold to it, gasping and choking as the teen raised his hand, Kon seeming to be glued to Ichi's finger by the paw.
The orange-haired teen ignored the dirty look he received from the water-logged lion, and started lathering said lion with soap, rubbing intently at the small red stain on Kon's knee.
Ichigo glanced at the rather contented look Kon now had, covered in perfumed soapsuds while Ichigo rubbed the stains off his body. Ichigo knew Kon was having a good time.
But something Ichigo did not know, is that a certain mod-soul was ticklish.
Ichigo brushed a finger under Kon's arm checking for more stains, Kon let out a high-pitched squeal and fell out of Ichigo's hands, landing in the bath with a splash.
Ichigo blinked a few times, his eyes still where Kon used to be, in his hands, then he looked down to see the mod-soul clinging to the side of the bath, the suds washing away from the water, spitting some water over the side of the tub.
Ichigo and Kon just looked at each other.
"You're..."
"Shut up!" snapped Kon, knowing if he was in a human body right now, his cheeks would be bright red with humiliation.
"I never knew you were ticklish." smirked Ichigo, placing his elbows on the side of the tub, 'accidentally' making Kon loose his grip on the tub side as he placed his hands into the water with a small splash.
"Nffrgnmrm!" gargled Kon as he started sinking, waving his tiny orange arms in the air.
Ichigo smirked and merely outstretched a finger, Kon quickly grabbing it and clinging for dear life to the teen's thin fingers, wheezing and choking as he yanked his soaking wet head out of the water.
Kon pouted and wrapped his tiny arms tightly around Ichigo's fingers. "What's wrong with me being ticklish?"
Ichigo grinned and raised his other hand, brushing a finger under Kon's arm.
Kon let out a louder squeal than before, nearly letting go of Ichigo's fingers, glaring up at the snickering teen, muttering curse words under his breath.
"This is going to be fun." grinned Ichigo, pushing his hand that Kon was currently attached to under the water, causing the annoyed lion to scramble up his arm and latch onto his elbow.
Ichigo pulled out the plug and grabbed the soap he used, placing it in a small orange plastic box –small enough so that one of Ichigo's hands could fit into it in a pinch– that had a large 'I' on it, two other plastic boxes beside it; a grey one with 'D' on it, the other, pink, with 'Y & K'. all three of the boxes placed on a small shelf above the bath taps.
Kon muttered darkly as Ichigo grabbed him again, and screamed as the sadistic teen wrung him out in the basin, the bathtub making a gurgling noise as all the bath water was drained away.
Ichigo grabbed a hand-towel, then grabbed Kon, who was now hissing murderous comments in the teen's direction, and started drying him off, covering everywhere except the under-arms, at Kon's request.
Ichigo started drying the lower-half of Kon, and his hand brushed a certain part of the mod-soul's body that should not be mentioned, and the lion grinned.
"Are you coming on to me?"
Ichigo twitched, then crushed said lion-body-part.
"ARGGGHHH! IT HURTS! IT HUURRTS! THE PAAAAAIIINNN!"
After Ichigo had finished drying Kon, the lion sat there, next to the cold water tap on the basin, sniffing occasionally.
"You're cruel." sniffed Kon, rubbing his beaded eyes.
Ichigo shrugged, nudging the hot water tap on, washing his thin hands. Kon watched as Ichigo's skin got a warmer colour, as the water got warmer.
The curious little mod soul then looked up at the three small plastic boxes. The orange, grey and pink colours were overlooked, but the letters printed on the boxes intrigued Kon.
Ichigo stood there, eyes half open, watching his hands turn a raw red, the water almost burning his skin.
"'Scuse me!"
Ichigo blinked as something blurred and orange jumped over his shoulder and toward the bath.
Ichigo removed his hands from the burning water and turned off the tap, looking over at Kon with a raised eyebrow.
Kon reached into the orange box –which was nearly as big as him– that had the 'I' on it, and picked up the soap in it, sniffing it lightly.
Jasmine and Sandalwood.
Kon placed the soap back into the box and sidestepped so he was in front of the pink one, which had the 'Y & K' on it, picking the tiny bar of soap up, and sniffing it.
Bubble gum.
Kon would've raised an eyebrow if he could, but decided not to, sidestepping again, and standing in front of the grey box, which had the 'D' on it, and raised the small bar of soap to his tiny button nose and sniffed.
...Nothing.
Kon blinked.
"It's caffeinated soap. It doesn't need a scent." came Ichigo's flat voice behind Kon.
Kon blinked again and placed the soap back into the box. "So, your whole family have your own soap?"
Ichigo shrugged lightly.
"Your little sisters like bubble gum, and your old man is so damn hyper because he soaks in caffeine through his skin?" the plushie lion asked.
Ichigo nodded and shrugged at the same time, leaning against the sink.
"And you like jasmine and sandalwood?" Kon grinned.
"My mother liked it." Ichigo said simply.
Half an hour later, Ichigo was lying on his bed, looking up at the ceiling, and Kon was lying on Ichigo's clock, smelling faintly of jasmine, sandalwood and something else, listening as the clock ticked it's way to nine pm.
Rukia appeared in the window, slipping down gracefully into the middle of the room.
"NEE-SAN!"
WHACK
Ichigo lowered his gaze to Kon, who was now squished under Rukia's foot.
"How was the date?" the teen asked simply, not moving from his bed, his arms under his head comfortably.
"It was wonderful!" squealed Rukia, grabbing Kon's tail and flinging the poor lion into the wall that was above Ichigo's bed, a blinding grin plastered on her face.
Ichigo didn't move as the quivering and whimpering lion slid down the wall and landed on his stomach, Ichigo's eyes fixed on Rukia.
Rukia was wearing knee-high white leather boots, had sparkly ornaments in her hair and had quite a few ornaments stuck on her bright pink cheeks.
Rukia grinned ear-to-ear at Ichigo, and Ichigo refused to comment on her make-up, looking back at the ceiling.
"ICHI-NII!" came a shout outside the door.
The door swung open with a bang, Karin standing in the doorway.
Ichigo stood, one foot on the floor, the other in the air as though he was about to start running, his hands placed against his closet's doors, his wide eyes fixed on his little sister. "y-Yeah?"
"Someone took Yuzu and my soap!" Karin snapped, crossing her arms.
Ichigo raised his eyebrows and placed his second foot onto the ground, avoiding looking at the orange lion that was stuffed under his pillows.
"And whoever it was, i wanna thank them. I hate bubble gum."
BANG
Ichigo blinked a couple of times, staring at his closed bedroom door.
"What was that about, Ichigo?" asked Rukia, poking her head out of the closet.
"Good question." sighed the bright-haired teen, walking back over to his bed and flopping down onto it, refusing to hear the startled yelp that came from his pillow.
"Oi. Kon. Did you eat Karin and Yuzu's soap?" Ichigo asked, pressing the back of his head a little harder against the pillow, of which let out a pained squeal.
Kon struggled, then popped out from under Ichigo's pillow, falling with a faint 'thlump' onto the floor.
Ichigo draped an arm down the side of the bed and grabbed Kon by the leg, hanging the unhappy plushie lion in the air above him. "Well?"
"I was hungry!" sobbed the lion, letting out a burp, a pink bubble floating out of his mouth.
Rukia, Ichigo and Kon stared at the bubble, and after a second, it popped.
"It's not his fault you and your family have a thing for scented soaps." shrugged Rukia innocently. "And the fact you don't like dirty objects!"
"I DO NOT!" snapped Ichigo, letting go of Kon, causing the abused lion plushie to fall onto the teen's chest.
"Yes you do!" grinned Rukia, but before Ichigo could protest, she turned and swept, still glittering and grinning, out the door.
Ichigo grumbled, placing his arms under his head, Kon sobbing quietly on his chest.
"I just don't like the fact everyone's bringing germs into my room..." grumbled the teen.
"That's what she said..." sniffled the lion, crawling along Ichigo's chest and curling up against the teen's neck, just under his ear.
"Hmph." Ichigo sniffed, feeling Kon snuggle into his body-warmth that was radiating from his neck, the plushie's tiny button nose pressing under his jawline.
"You smell nice..." mumbled Kon contentedly against Ichigo's neck.
Ichigo merely groaned, placing his fingers to his temples.
((END. well... uh... no, i do not know what that achieved, but i think it was amusing to write. thank you for reading.))