Hey, I hope you enjoy this. Taken me an entire day to write. All mistakes are my own as I don't have a spell checker. Sorry for any mistakes. This is AU merder. Meredith is made to get a tutor aka Derek but they fall in love. This is meredith looking back and telling the story of Meredith and Derek. Anything your not sure of just let me know. I'm not sure if i should write one from Derek's POV but let me know if you think i should. please read and review, they always make me smile )

Luved

I was the goth in high school. The pink hair, black lipstick, black nail polish. I was that kid. He was a band geek. I grew up with the guy, I grew up with the man that I was one day gonna marry and have a family with and I didn't even notice him. We were at opposite ends of the class. I was always at the back or outside. He was at the front or at the window. We were both top of our class, even if we did go about it in different ways. He would study all hours that god would send for one extra mark that he didn't really need to get the A plus. I would skim the stuff that I needed to know and I knew it. I didn't need to study. I took it in first time. He did too but wanted those marks, he wanted to be the best he could be.

I wanted to be the best my mother wanted me to be. Him tutoring me was supposed to keep me on the straight and narrow, stop the drinking that I had started. It had gotten so bad that I had had my stomach pumped twice and my mother actually showed some concern over my welfare. Turned out all she cared about was her reputation and the fact she was missing surgeries. But he cared. He picked me up and took me home after tutoring me for hours. He would sit with me when I couldn't sleep . He was there. He stood up to my mother. He told her she was a bad mother. He told her everything I was too afriad to say. He opened his mouth but emptied me of everything bad I had thought against her. I moved out and she didn't even notice. That's how much of a mother she was. She was never home to know I was never there either. But i spent one hour away from him and he noticed. He knew if I was there or if I wasn't. He noticed me and didn't mind telling me that he noticed me. He wanted me to know he noticed me.

'Meredith you've missed three weeks of class, drinking during lunch hour, showing up hungover, your falling behind and we can't submit you for the end exam unless we know your getting extra help,'

'I don't get it. extra help? you mean like staying behind after school and studying?'

'We mean that we have assigned you a tutor, someone of your own age that you can connect with and will get a good example from. They are a model pupil,'

'I have grades at the top of the class and you want to give me a tutor? I get some of the best marks and you think I'm the one that needs help?'

'Meredith you have missed too much for you to get your top grades. Your tutor will only be until your examination. Then you can go back to working on your own,'

'Fine. I take it that you have already told my mom?' the principle looked down at his hands.

'Ok, let me rephrase that. I take it that you have left my mother a message?' he nodded, Meredith lifting her bag.

'So, who's my tutor?'

And that was how he was brought into my life. He was to be my tutor. The geeky guy who sat at the front of the class, occassionally said hi to me was to tutor me. He was to meet me in the library after school and start from the begining. Like I hadn't done it. I knew he would be early but I was gonna show I'm that I wasnt just some little bimbo that he could sit and talk at for two hours after school three times a week. I was gonna show him that I was just as good as him. So, to see if he was like every other guy and judged me by how I looked, I donned the baggyest jeans that I had, the hightest stilleto heels that I had and the tightest, most low cut shirt that I had. I was there half an hour before he was, sitting in my usual place of the cornor with my book open, my glasses on and multiple pens stuck in my hair. Like I suspected he would, he was early for our session, fifteen minutes early.

But what arrived wasn't what I expected. This wasn't the geek that sat at the front of my classes. This was the hot skaterboy that lived in my dreams and only reappeared when my maths teacher started going over things that I had already done and knew how to do. He, like me had the baggyiest jeans on, the three chains hanging down from his hip. The back back sat low on his back, the skate board hanging out the top of it. His shirt was loose and I glanced up briefly before he sat down to read the quote ' I'd rather be skating than screwing your wife'. Not the guy I knew from class at all. His hair was covered by the tight fitting hat, his eyes just visible from underneath his fringe. Then the shocker. He had a tattoo on his arm. He was the guy from my dreams, tats and all. I knew instantly what it was and what it represented. The four stars on his arms were the four sisters that messed me around, attacked me with hairspray. The two bigger ones were his parents.Dates on his arm I didn't know but then again, I clearly didn't know him. I didn't know the boy that I hadn't payed any attention to before.

'Your early,' his smile seemed to break out.

'So are you. How come your here before me?'

'Figured I could show that I'm not a bimbo or an air head,'

'Look, you and I both know that you don't need this so...let's at least pretend that you need it?'

'Only if you tell me why the hell you are the way you are in school and then you turn up here like this?'

'My sisters would kill me,'

'What one? I've been in fights with all of them. I could take them again if you really wanted me to,' Derek threw his bag on the floor, pulling Meredith's books over towards him.

'Are you seriously going over neuro plasty?'

'You know it's neuro plasty?'

'Eh, yeah. Kind of want to be a neuro surgeon so yeah, i do know,'

'Interesting,'

'What?'

'I take it you have no idea who my mother is,'

'Who's your mother?

'Ellis Grey,' I was used to the reactions, the wide eyes, the mouths falling open. But I wasn't used to the closeing of the books and the look of all hope being gone,

'What?'

'How the hell am I meant to tutor someone who's mother happens to be one of the best surgeons in the world and I admire more than anyone else?'

'Easy, you don't. You take me to the nearest skate park and show me your attempt at a three sixty,'

'Seriously,'

'What? Why does everyone assume that because your a chick, you don't like staking?'

'No, it's not that. I just didn't think you would actually want to go to the park with me,'

'On one condition, yeah,'

"What?'

'You act like you in school and you dress like you in school. Stop pretending to be the band geek because of your sisters. Screw them,'

'Your on. But I have one condition. We do one hour of study,' I put my hand out and he took it. That was it, the first contact that we had ever had.

It was well into three ours of sitting talking, bouncing theroies off each other before we decided to leave the libaray and head back to the skate park. But I was watching him and he was watching me. The librarian was looking at us like we were freaks from a side show. Seventeen year olds looking up books on neuro plasty and brain tumours is slightly wierd. But it was when I was reaching up to the top shelf, my lower back was exposed, along with the top lace part of my underwear. I struggled until I felt him place his hand gently on my back and reach up. It was effortless, his getting the book and handing it to me.

'I think we should head to the park,' I glanced at the clock on the wall, cursing under my breath.

'It shut an hour ago,' he looked himself and shrugged his shoulders.

'Well, same time Thursday?' I shook my head and took his hand.

'Come back to mine. My mothers at the hospital so I have the house to myself and many books on neuro stuff,' I bit my lip gently, hoping he would take the hint. Like a duck to water he did and minutes later I found myself running in the pouring rain towards the bus station. I shook my hair down and for the first time ever, a guy gave me thier jacket. True it was as wet as I was but still, he gave me his jacket.

'I seriously underestimated you,' he looked down at me and I felt myself go weak.

'How do you work that one out?' he was toying with me.

'I thought you were some geek that was going to sit and just talk at me. But no, your not that guy,'

'No, what guy am I?'

'Your the first guy I've ever invited back that to my place,'

That started it all. He was at mine everynight, studying, talking. He soon realised that I never saw my mother and she didn't do much for me but leave money on the counter for me every time she was back. He got that he was the most stable thing that I had ever had in my life and that I couldn't do without him...as my tutor. Weeks went by and we were like a couple but there was no touching. But not for the lack of trying. We both tried to take steps forward, but everytime we did somthing would happen. His sisters would say somthing about how he was dressing in front of me in school, which always lead to fight which led to us being suspended. Even during those days we were still just like best friends more than we were together but we both wanted it. It was a case of one of us had to take the lead.

Halloween, my favorite holiday of them all. Happens to also be my birthday which means more money from mother and a night with a couple of bottles of tequila. Happy birthday to me. But this year was different. I had Derek. He didn't want me wasted, he wanted me to remember the night. Birthdays sucked for me up until that point. That was the turning point when I realised that I didn't have to take the crap that I did off my mother, that I could have demanded a better mother.

I woke up and he was already awake, sitting watching me.

'Happy birthday,' I smiled, somthing that I never did in the morning. The box was small, but I knew what was in it was huge.

'Lets do it,' those three words in my ear gave me the confidence I needed. I sat up and took the box, opening it to see a silver ring. I nodded a few times and then it happend. The one thing that we had both had trouble trying to do just happened. We kissed. For the first time we kissed. In bed, relaxed with each other. There was no one there to screw it up or start a fight or tell us to get a life or that we were sad freaks . It was just us and I loved it. I loved him.

His sisters were nice. Actually nice to me outside of the school. They had no one to try and impress and it was like I was part of the family. His mom, Eileen, she practically adopted me, telling me she knew that me and Derek would finally open our eyes and just take hold of each other. I didn't believe her but she was adament that she had known it was coming and was so glad that it had. We became inseperable, never apart. I was always sitting on his lap, or tucked in against his side. He never slept on the couch anymore. But that was the thing. Niether of us had gone that far before and neither of us had a clue what to do. But that made it right because we knew we couldn't screw up with each other. We had both agreed his house was a no go. Too many people. Mine was empty, all the time and my mother coming home was as rare as a whipple, once every six months.

'What if she does come home?'

'Then she comes home, gets another weekend bag and leaves again. Big deal. Like she's even gonna know that we're there. Derek, I hate my mother and she hates me. there's nothing else to be said. She won't come home,'

That simple statement of I hate my mother and she hates me seemed to show Derek what it was like having a world renowened surgeon as a mother. It was hell. But the night we went back was anything but. Once the initial awkwardness was over, it was perfect. He was perfect. Nothing was rushed and we fit together. He seemed to be as relaxed as I was after it and we both knew that this was the biggest step we had taken so far, together as boyfriend and girlfriend.

Then all hell broke loose. I hated school because of what happened, what it did to him. He got so protective when we went back after the six week holidays. Our last year, we had both taken the same classes and sat next to each other in everyone. We were both still as freakish as when we first met. He was still the skater and I was still the goth but I had blonde hair instead of pink. That was the only difference. My hair colour. But with that came unwanted attention from one person, one person that was driving Derek mad.

'Mind if i sit?'

'Yeah I do. go away,'

'Come on, I saw you lookng at me from your corner in the library. Even with your little puppy dog,' My temper snapped and I was on my feet and lifting my stuff to get away from the assole also known as Ross.

'Where are you going?'

'hell, if you follow me,' I could see derek walking towards me from the door but so could Ross. Then he grabbed me and spun me around. Me being me, I squealed which didn't go down well with Derek. I closed my eyes waiting for the responce and the next thing I'm seperating Derek. That's when the memory goes blank and the eyes gets black.

My mother gave me that look, that look of I can't believe that your here in this hospital and not in Mercy West where none of the people who I work with can see how much of a screw up i have as a daughter. That look also rilled Derek up and his temper broke.

'Would you rather she wasn't here interupting you life?'

'Excuse me?'

'You'r looking at her like she's nothing to you but a burden and i hate you. she doesn't deserve that,''

'Who do you,'

'No, your gonna listen,' my mothers face at this point is one that I wish I had a camera to take a pcture of.

'She's your daughter. At least that's what you say she is. You never see her. You can't even call yourself a mother because you earn the right to be someones mother. You leave her money. Is that what you think mothers do? just leave money for thier children? You don't even know what happened to day thats ended her up in here. You never asked because you don't care and I have no doubt that your taking none of this in and are really annoyed right now because everyone around you is watching as an eighteen year old tells you how much of a bad mother that you are. She cries over you, she cries because you're never there. You've never once said that you love her. You've said that you wish you'd never had her. But you've never said I love you. That says everything. Did you know that she's practically moved out?'

'I want you to leave right now,'

'Not without Meredith,'

'She's my daughter she'll do as I say,' Thats the point that I realised that he was fighting for me and I wasn't gonna sit there and leave him. I could leave her without a second thought but not him. He was it for me. He had fought for me. My mother looked at me in disbelief as I lifted Derek's jacket and eased it onto my body. Her face was reddening with every step I took away from her with Derek's arms around me.

Ross never came near me again but Derek never left my side. And I mean never left my side. I love it. I loved the fact someone wanted to be that close to me all the time. It made getting up in the morning easier and I wasn't frightened anymore. I was never frightened about being alone because I knew that I would never be alone again because he was with me.

Dartmouth was all work and no fun. We studied together, went to the same classes, got top of the class everytime. We were slipping apart as a couple. The only time we held each other was when we collpased into bed, exhausted after a day of constant working. That was it. There was no holding hands, no touching in classes. Nothing. Four years of it before we finally got placements. That's when the fun began again. Elevators and on call rooms became our meeting grounds, especially the end elevator. That one always seemed to break down with only me and him in it. I thought we wouldn't last before that but there was always that feeling that we both got. His eyes seemed to sparkle when we talked about our day at the hospital. Even if it was forty eight hour shifts, we still sat with each other, paged and called each other. We got the spark back that made me know that he was it. He was the one that I was gonna spend the rest of my life with. We had money and didn't have any worries. No debts or anything that would seperate us.

The land. He took me there and we planned it on the spot. The house, the garden. Everything. Then he did it. After ten years of being together...he proposed. And in that moment my life seemed to fall into place. The crap childood disappeared and my future became almost certain. I said yes in a heartbeat, as you would do when a man that you've loved for the best part of your life asks you to marry him. His family, my family, they went crazy and were so happy. They wanted us to take our time, have the big white wedding that everyone of Derek's sisters had had. We didn't. We wanted it small, just the way we had met. We wanted to be the only ones there. But we both knew his family would kill us and the only option was to keep it small with all his family there and then the friends we had made in the hospital. So we did it our way. We left. We got on a plane, went back to New york and got married there, coming back to angry but happy faces. One big party we could cope with but we coudn't deal with hundreds of people there on our day. We wanted it to be our day, not the fact we didn't get five minutes to ourselfs.

We met the two people who we had lived with at Dartmouth, Addie and Mark. We met them at the city hall. Half an hour later we were sitting in a resteruant having dinner. An hour later and me and Derek were in a hotel room alone. That was what we wanted. His sisters and mom took a little more convincing but once we had them settled on it they were over the moon that we had done it the way we had wanted to.

I love him. He was the first person to fight for me and not give into my mother. He was the first person and the last person I will ever lie in a bed with. He's the person I wake up to every morning and go to sleep with every night without fail. We live in each others pockets and I wouldn't have it any other way. When I saw who he really was when he walked into that library to tutor me, I got the same feeling that I do now. I got shivers all over my body. I fell in love with him. I fell in love with the man I'm with today when I was seventeen. He's my one and only and I'm his. They're has been no one else. They're will be no one else. I now have the biggest honour I could ever have and I get to tell him that the family we want is gonna be here in seven months. In seven months he's gonna be a father. For everything he's done for me, thats the biggest honour

I will ever have.to give the man I love, the family thats made up of me and him.

Hope you enjoyed. Please press that little pruple button )