A tall Irken paced from here to there, surveying his room for the last time. He never imagined he would actually grow, much less that he would grow to be Tallest. Everyone he had ever known (except one person) didn't believe in him, had ridiculed him for many obvious reasons. He had been an Invader, a soldier, and had been the shortest for the longest time. Nobody had believed in him, except, once again, for his one friend that he met while on a secret mission from his own Tallest. The one enemy that he hated for the longest time, not realizing it would turn into friendship. Oh, what an odd mission that had turned out to be.
Perhaps it had been the new gravity on the planet, or maybe being around another, taller species' DNA for so long. Or maybe it was just chance. Whatever it was, it had caused him to grow taller. Just in time, too. The last Tallest died recently.
"Sir? Are you almost ready for the ceremony?" another Irken asked, popping his head inside the room. The new Tallest waved him away with one three-fingered claw, and the soldier nodded. The door was shut, and the Tallest was free to keep contemplating his fate.
How long had it been since he snuck into the last ceremony for the Tallest, unbeknownst to anyone? Unfortunately, all the rumors about the bloody removal of thumbs were true. How long since he had loyally served his leaders, never straying from their commands, no matter how foolish the orders seemed? Truly, it had been not too long ago.
"Let me in! I must be allowed in, for I have to help him get ready! I'm his friend!" a voice right outside the door argued with the guard.
"I know that voice! Guard! Let him in!" the Tallest called out. The door slid open and another figure walked in, shooting an indignant look at the guard.
"Some strong guards you have there. Although I could have easily bypassed him the usual way. You were always crappy with security," the person chuckled. Then he looked around and seemed confused. "Hey, what happened to the SIR unit?"
"Oh, they deactivated him. The Almighty Tallest are no longer Invaders, and do not require a SIR unit's help," the Tallest mumbled. His friend walked over to him and patted him on the back.
"Hey, it's okay. I'm going to miss him too, but at least you get all of the snacks you ever wanted," the friend pointed out.
"You too. You get snacks too, remember. You're as tall as I am, and I am going to point that out at the ceremony. I know I said that as a joke before, but I'm serious now. I've decided I can't rule the Irken Empire alone."
"What? You're serious? I mean, yeah, we both are the same height. But you should keep the leadership to yourself. I don't know how the public would react, seeing me standing next to you."
"See, that's why I need you! You always think things through!"
"That's not a good reason. I should attack you for even thinking that was a good reason."
"Remember when we used to hate each other?" the Tallest asked, changing the subject. His friend chuckled.
"Yeah, we were always fighting. I kept calling your plans for world conquest stupid, and you kept saying how awesome you were. I hated you for so long, but then we found that we actually had a lot in common, friendship formed, happy ending, blah blah blah."
"Well, I saved your life, and I'm pretty sure you said you owed me. Now it's time to alert that guard to our exact height."
"Are you absolutely sure? There's no going back once I do, you know."
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"Very well," the friend responded. The he cleared his throat and called the guard over.
"Yes?" the guard asked.
"I believe that my height is the same as the Tallest. Could you measure?" the friend asked.
"Very well," the guard doubtfully grumbled. He took out a scanning laser and scanned both the friend and the Tallest's height. When he looked at the result, he gasped.
"Well?" the Tallest asked.
"This has never happened before…I must alert the Control Brains!" the shocked guard replied. He ran down the hall to the ceremonial chambers while the friend and Tallest relaxed in chairs side-by-side, waiting.
"Since we already know that I'm going to be Tallest too, I just have to ask…is the rumor about our thumbs being painfully cut off true?" the friend asked.
"Yes, unfortunately. And you know how sickening that is to me," the Tallest mumbled.
"Oh, that's right. When you had to learn about the biology of any species, you gagged openly in front of our betters. On another notes, are the robes comfortable?"
"Actually, yes, they are. And these belt things? Once we're Tallest, they'll be activated. We can hover around and stuff."
"Neat," the friend replied. The guard came running back to the duo, telling the friend to get ready, for he was crowned as Tallest as well.
The friend closed the door and walked over to the room's closet. There was only one robe left in a different color, and luckily, it matched his eyes. He quickly got dressed and turned to his fellow leader.
"Are you ready to go and get that horrible thumb surgery?" the friend asked, chuckling. "Don't worry, it might be cut off with lasers!"
"Stop it!" the original Tallest retorted, throwing a nearby pillow at his friend. The friend dodged it and laughed. He held the door open mockingly, and both hovered out of it.
They eventually made it to the ceremonial chambers. There were only a select group of Irkens there, for the rest were mourning the most recent Tallest.
On command, the two Tallest walked over to a creepy table with two ceremonial knives, one older-looking, and the other very new. It was obviously placed there only recently at the newest development.
"Are you two ready to receive the gift of being the Almighty Tallest, leaders of the Irken Empire, commanders of the Armada, being in charge of assigning lifelong tasks to every single Irken, regardless of height and status?" the Irken in charge of the creepy ceremony asked, his dark blue eyes looking almost black in the light.
"But no pressure, right?" the original Tallest mumbled after nodding along with his friend. They both placed their hands on the clean white table, one looking away from the scene, the other looking slightly interested. The Tallest Ceremony began, and the blue-eyed Irken stepped forward, grasping a knife in each hand. Quickly, and with skill, he cut off the thumbs of the Tallest. One cried out while the other only grimaced, trying to appear tough.
The thumbs were swept away into the nearby incinerator while a purple-eyed Irken rushed to her new Tallest. She bandaged up their hands precisely, but didn't add any numbing agents. They were expected to endure the pain for their empire.
"Thank you, medical drone," both Tallest said simultaneously. "You have our appreciation and gratitude."
"You're welcome, my Tallest," she replied. Then she leaned forward. "And if it isn't too much trouble, my leaders, could you please give me permission to change my life's work as Tallest medic and engineer? I would like to become an Invader."
"Um, yeah, sure. I mean, you have to take the test like everyone else, though. And it's in 5 minutes," the original Tallest replied, still slightly dazed from loss of blood.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," she responded, eyes shining.
"Well, don't. You never get a second chance at the test. You miss it, you are punished. Is that clear?" the friend asked menacingly. She nodded eagerly and finished up her work. The dark-blue Irken smirked at the exchange, then pressed a button on a nearby wall. Both Tallest floated up suddenly.
"Whoa, this is…neat!" both exclaimed. The door slid open and they both hovered out slowly, still unused to floating and feeling weak from blood loss. They stumbled a couple of times, but eventually got the hang of it. Then they came to the amphitheatre's door. They grinned nervously at each other, then hovered out in front of thousands of cheering Irkens.
The crowd paused for a moment, noticing that there was more than one hovering leader before them. Some whispered to each other, confused.
"Welcome, mighty Irken soldiers!" Red called out to the crowd. "As you can see, I stand with your expected Tallest. That is because, for the first time in Irken history, you have two Tallest! We are the exact same height for unknown reasons, but we shall bring this mighty empire to ultimate glory!"
"Right! Because we are going to continue Operation Impending Doom!" Purple announced with a grin. A cheer resounded from the crowd as a response. The two Almighty Tallest grinned at each other, prepared for the long road ahead.
"Oooo, do we get donuts?" Purple asked Red, remembering the new privileges they now shared. Red chuckled.
"Yes, Purple, we can get donuts. We are the Tallest, after all. We can eat whatever we want from now on!"
"Yay! Donuts!" Purple cheered.
The public gathering of witnessing their new Almighty Tallest ended after a while, and everyone filtered out of the theatre to prepare for the continuation of Operation Impending Doom. One Irken returned from a military training planet, now a fully-fledged Invader even though he plunged half of the training planet into darkness. Red told that one specific, annoying Irken to stay within a circle drawn around him.
The Tallest sat in their room, eating snacks and relaxing. Red was sitting in a chair, reading something while Purple observed the peaceful city scene outside the window. Then Purple cried out.
"What is it, Pur?" Red asked, hurrying over to the window. His jaw dropped at what he saw. A giant military robot crushed Irken buildings and shot lasers at everything. They could even hear the evil laughter of an Irken at the controls.
"Zim," Red growled angrily.
"We just started the plan up again, and he ruins it!" Purple complained.
"He is DEFINITELY getting banished this time," Red grumbled.
"What if he just comes back when we start another universal conquest plan?" Purple asked worriedly. Red waved the thought away and shook his head.
"No, that wouldn't ever happen."