What Matty deserves

by Rizzo14193

Jenna meets Collin and along with that guilt. She wants to be happy but Matty makes her happy. It would be selfish to let him go for one guy who just wants some fun. she thinks if Matty still even wants here and she can't answer that, and asking atty is out of the question. She starts to think that Matty deserves better then her, but then what does she deserve?

I could see him from across the room and his eyes fell upon me.

He looked at me as if he had never seen someone like me before.

I tried to move on and look around but he soon followed me.

I finally gave in and talked to him and he was sweet and shy.

We talked the rest of the night, but never asked for my number and I left it at that.

I wanted to it at the party and would see Matty the next day.

Our plans failed though and I never got to feel his touch 2 months it been now.

He was becoming hard again like I was just another part of his day.

Something that he didn't really want anymore. I had become the old toy.

My feelings for him never changed I love him still, but we always get to this point of survival.

This point were we just need to make the next week till we can see each other, but my mind wonders.

What would happen if that week turned into 2 weeks.

Would he still want to hold my hand or just drop me all together?

I left the thought hanging there without answer.

I knew Matty would be upset if I even asked him such a question it would show I didn't have trust in his love I do, but I worry his lust for me has taken away that love.

I started to cry I hadn't gotten to leave the party yet my mom was late as usual,

I just want answers I want to know that we are okay because at this point me and Matty is all that matters to me.

I just want to know where I place with him.

I thought no one could tell but the boy came over, his name is Collin.

I thanked him for his helped and my ride finally arrived.

I tried leaving it at the party but those question still lingered.

The next day I got a text form Collin.

I don't remember ever giving him my number.

He got it from Tamara, usually I don't mind but I really didn't need another problem right now.

I tired to give him a chance he helped me when I was crying and didn't want anything in return.

Turns out that is not the truth.

He wanted my hand.

He said that he loved.

I responded with surprise its been 3 days, and you have a girlfriend.

She's nothing like you he said he responded.

I can't be your girlfriend I have my own boyfriend I said looking away.

I didn't feel the same but I couldn't bare to see him sad.

He said we could have fun and there would be no strings attached.

No I said moving away this is wrong I have a boyfriend and it would be selfish for me to leave him for what? I one night thing? You'll leave me at some point.

Hasn't he left you though he responded looking into my eyes seeing how truly weak I was.

Yes but he always came back with love I said trying to keep the tears away.

I'm not going to leave you because you're so special no one could ever compare, he said.

The questions of Mattys love are still in my mind, but I know that he loves me.

He noticed I said nothing and responded with come on you're just so beautiful I'm going to choose between you and my girlfriend.

I look up and say its been 3 days, and give your girlfriend a chance.

He said I will but you're still on my mind.

I looked away and respond I'll keep that in mind.

I said I would talk to him later and he said bye :*

I didn't know how to respond bye I said.

I tried to tell Matty, but he just responded "ok".

What does that even mean i thought? Was he just ok with the thought of some guy loving me?

Had he really gotten to that point where he didn't care?

I tried to think about how he felt this was the 3rd time this has happened,

If I was him I would feel like I was in competition with other guys.

Also Jake is spending so much time with Tamara they almost never see each other anymore.

I couldn't imagine being all alone in house with parents that yell.

Its selfish to add on to that.

I'm so selfish I thought.

Matty deserves someone better than me.

Someone who doesn't get guys attention.

Someone who could be there for him.

Someone who wasn't needy.

It made me think what I deserved.

I deserved to be happy.

Matty can't make me happy all the time and I need to get use to that.

I just want to be happy with him again this week needs to be over its killing me inside.

He is my other half.

He is my joy.

He is my carefree time.

He is my love.

I want my Matty.

I'm just not so sure he wants me.

I'm sure that Collins wants me though.