I supported myself with my arms, peering through the side of the ship. Hook's back was towards me and he spoke harshly with one of the Lost Boys I had never seen before. He stood several inches taller than Hook with blond hair and a scar down the right side of his face.
"It appears we have company," the boys said when he noticed me.
Hook turned around and spotted my hiding place. "What are you doing?"
"Eavesdropping," I grinned.
"You have no right to be here, siren," threatened the boy.
"I have more right than you! Did you notice the pretty woman on the [blank] of this ship? That would be me. Besides, it is not your ship."
"Easy," Hook said. "Felix is a Lost Boy here on Peter Pan's behalf."
As if I didn't know one of Pan's cronies when I saw them. "Are you sacred of me Felix?"
He gripped the blade that was sheathed in his belt. "No."
"Then come here, if you don't believe the stories. If you don't think mermaids lure men to their deaths; drown them for fun, then come here."
Felix picked up his foot to take a step, but put it right back down.
Hook laughed. "Clara isn't like her sisters; she likes men. Have you ever had sex with a mermaid?"
Confusion spread across Felix's face. "Is that possible?"
"Of course," Hook grinned. "When a mermaid leaves the water and her tail dries, she grows legs-legs that she can spread. If you ever want to be able to say you fucked a mermaid, go with Clara."
"Killian!" I pretended to be offended.
Hook walked over and knelt down next to me, leaning in for a kiss. I obliged him; his lips were always soft for a pirate. "You should go," he said.
I sighed. "Tell them to stop using fishing nets. Jenna was almost caught the other day." I let go and plunged back into the water without a sound, leaving Hook and Felix to their negotiations.
"'Ey, look what I caught- a mermaid!"
"Let me go!" I screamed and kicked at the net as the boy dragged me further up on the beach. I watched in horror as my tail and fins morphed into two spate legs, each fin becoming a foot. It left me not only topless, but entirely naked.
"What do you think you're doing?" One boy pulled the others away from me. "Can't you see it's just a girl?"
Felix took a knife and cut the net from around me. Seeing that I was stark naked, he threw down his cloak so that I could cover myself.
The boys stared, incredulous. Swearing that they had just seen a tail attached to my hips. Felix ignored their comments and helped me to my feet. The first time I stood, my knees buckled and I found myself back in the sand. He tried again to help be and this time I stood upright, remembering how to operate legs.
"Thank you," I whispered.
"Alright, let's get her back to camp," Felix ordered.
I trudged along beside them, struggling through the jungle. Not one word was spoken and I wondered if any of them had seen a woman in centuries. Hours later I found myself shivering in front of a fire, wearing roughly sewn pants and a too small shirt under Felix's cloak.
"Do we know who she is?" Pan asked.
"Probably one of Hook's whores," Felix sneered, looking directly at me.
I met his gaze, and then turned to look at Pan. "Who's Hook?" I asked quietly; the picture of [naïveté].
"He is Captain of the Jolly Roger and its fearsome crew. He's missing a hand and in its place he wears a deadly hook, sharp enough to rip your heart out," Pan answered. "But if you're not from the Jolly Roger, what were you doing in the ocean?"
"I- I don't remember," I lied.
"What about your name?" Felix challenged.
"I- um, Clara, I think."
"Alright Clara, Felix will show you where you'll be staying." Peter turned his attention to another boy.
I followed Felix into the base of a hollowed out tree. "Are you trying to get me killed?" I hissed. "Why save me if you only wanted to call me out as a mermaid in front of Pan? Are you still afraid I might drown you?"
"You can't drown me if we're on land," he replied. He showed me where I would retire every night, but did not give me a tour of the camp. The camp moves often and they usually have makeshift shelters, but this was home base, complete with treehouses. Felix abandoned me after fulfilling Pan's orders, leaving me to find my own way around. Eventually, I made it back to where Pan was.
"I'll do whatever I can to help you remember, but I need you to help gather firewood," Pan told me. "Go with Felix."
Inwardly, I growled. Why could I not be paired with someone who did not have preconceived notions about me? I wandered off into the jungle Felix and a small boy called Andy.
"Now, Clara, this is a log." Felix held up part of a thick branch as Andy laughed. "We need dry logs and twigs to build a fire."
"They're also good for hitting assholes wit," I growled at him, but my anger only amused them.
Being half Felix's size, I couldn't carry as much wood as him, but I tried anyway. Trying to balance the weight of the wood and focus on moving my legs was too much. I tripped over a tree root and sent myself flying into the dirt. Andy put down his wood and offered to help me up.
"Fuck off." I pushed him away and stood up on my own after a slight struggle.
"You should take help when it's offered. If something should happen, we are under no obligation to protect you," Felix said.
"Why would I want to rely on a boy who got himself lost?"
Felix had no response for me and the three of us tramped back in tense, awkward silence.
That night when I laid down to sleep, I nearly cried. I missed Jenis and Alice and Mara and Louise. Were my sisters worried? Were they looking for me? I often went off on my own; they probably had no idea I was gone.
When I woke my lips were chapped and bleeding, my back hurt and my skin felt dry. As I stood, my legs felt weak and I had to use the tree wall to steady myself.
"Here," Felix appeared out of nowhere and thrust a wooden bowl filled with water at me.
I shook my head, refusing it.
"Jesus, it's only water." He took a sip to prove it was safe to drink. "Peter said you might be thirsty."
Wary, I took the bowl from his hands and lifted it to my own lips. The cool liquid passed into my mouth and I immediately felt better. I would not thank him though, he did not want to help me. When I had finished drinking, Felix took me to see Pan.
"Morning, Clara, did you remember anything at all last night?" he asked.
I shook my head.
"That's alright; it'll come. In the meantime you're welcome to stay with us."
A smaller boy ran up and whispered in Pan's ear.
"I need you to stay here at camp," Pan told me and then motioned for Felix to follow him.
I sat down nestled in between the roots of a tree. There was no chance for me to leave; the majority of the boys stayed at camp. It happened a lot while I lived with the boys. I moved camp with them, but was never left on my own. I couldn't tell you how long I was with them; no one keeps track of time in Neverland when no one ages.
"Screw this, I'm going home!" I said to Felix when he was left along to guard me. It was strange that Pan had left him behind. Felix was a skilled fighter and tracker and it was common knowledge that the two of us didn't get along.
"No, you aren't," he grabbed my forearm and yanked me towards him. "You don't remember your home, Clara."
"Fuck you," I hissed right in his face.
His lips crashed into mine and I began clawing at his chest and clothes. He brought me into the make shift tent he had been sleeping and threw me on the ground and then he was in me. Exhausted, but happy, I leaned my head on his shoulder and gently traced the scar on his with my fingers, a motion which he mimicked on my bare hip. With a quick kiss, I rolled away from him and began pulling my clothes back on.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"I don't cuddle after sex."
He sighed and put his own clothes back on. Without another word, Felix began roasting a rabbit for us to eat. I sat down across form him and stared at the fire. "So how'd you live fucking a mermaid?" I asked.
Felix growled but did not answer just as Pan returned shadowed by the rest of the lost boys.
It was difficult waking up the next morning. I felt dehydrated and was afraid that my skin was cracked and about to burst open. So I laid there, looking around, but without the energy or courage to move.
"Here," someone sat down next to me and handed me a flask of water.
Eagerly, I put it to my lips and began drinking. After I had the last drop, I sat up and realized it was Pan. "Hello, Peter."
"You don't look well."
"I don't feel well."
"Don't worry. It's because the magic here is dying, but it will be back. A True Believer will come and return Neverland to its glory."
I nodded and went back to sleep.
"Clara! Clara!" I heard a rough voice calling my name, but I was unable to place it. A hand was shaking me awake, but I could not open my eyes. I was dying, but there was nothing I could do. It had been years since I've been in the water; since I've had my tail. It was time, I suppose. I got myself into this situation by being curious, not fearing humans. It hurt though, I felt like I was shriveling up. And then all of a sudden I could breathe. I opened my eyes and I was underwater. My tail was back and I could breathe easily. Then I saw Felix. He was sinking slowly next to me in the water, no breath was coming from him, only small bubbles escaping his lips. I grabbed him, and swam to the surface. We broke through and as the air hit him he began coughing.
"I've got you," I said, keeping him afloat.
He held onto me with his blonde hair plastered against his forehead. I swam him to where he could stand.
"Thank you," I told him sincerely.
He bent down and kissed me passionately. "Will I see you again?" he asked.
"Come to the cove whenever you want to find me," I answered and disappeared back underneath the water.