Bubba: another one lmao. again, warning for implied sexual content, not described.
remember to check me out on AO3 BubbaKnowlton for more fics
Headaches and Headlines
Seeing the headline on her holoscreen, Leia pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. Han leaned over to look at it, and snorted when he saw it. "Yup, that's your boy." He clapped her on the shoulder, "He inherited your bad taste in men, although his is much worse than yours, since I'm pretty great."
SENATOR ORGANA'S SON DATING THE FIRST ORDER'S EMPEROR
Leia hated the title, and knew she'd be seeing many similar, as she had ordered one of her attendants to pass her along any news relating to Ben. She wanted to know what he was up to, since he kept running off, and disappeared for longer lengths of time, and started leaving faster, often only coming back for a day before leaving for two weeks. It'd been three weeks since she last saw him. Now, she was seeing him on the front page of a gossip site, making out with the First Order Emperor, their tongues down each other's throats. Ben had his arms wrapped around the man, and the redhead was sn
eaking a hand up his shirt. She would have rather not have seen that.
"Well, at least he's got good taste in who has money-"
"Han, please."
"What? That guy's the Emperor, he's rich! He's not half bad looking, either, it's just his job. Sure he's an imperial brat, but he's loaded and seems to like Ben enough. Did you scroll down, yet?" Leia reluctantly scrolled down, to reveal a selfie of a blond woman that was clearly making room for the sight of Ben and the Emperor in the background. They looked flustered, and seemed to be yelling at her. Ben was shirtless, pressed against the wall, so they had obviously been about to have sex. The caption on the picture simply said ;)
"Han, I didn't need to see this."
"Keep scrolling, they get better. That's the head trooper or whatever, she sent a couple of pictures out." Again, even more reluctantly, she kept scrolling.
Another picture had Ben scooping up the Emperor like some bride, and the redhead was yelling. The caption: 'Huxxy hates being lifted lmao'
"Huxxy!" Han repeated incredeously. "That's great."
The next, Ben had the ginger over his shoulder. Caption: 'u cant tell but hes yellin for me 2 help him lol'
Then, Ben sneaking up on the Emperor, who was looking down at a datapad. Caption: 'ben's murder part 1 - the before'
Leia really didn't want to see how her son was going to humiliate himself for all of the holonet to see, but scrolled down to the next image. Ben had grabbed the redhead's shoulders, clearly startling him. Caption: 'ben's murder part 2 - walking into the snake's den'
Han winced at the next one, of the Emperor visciously elbowing Ben in the face, knocking him over in what was captured as a blur. Caption: 'ben's murder part 3 - the slaughter'
Finally, a picture of the Emperor worriedly standing over Ben, who was curled up on the floor with his hands covering his face. Caption: 'ben's murder part 4 - the finale'
Text below said that 'Captain Phasma has told us she will be setting up a blog to post more pictures soon! She also wanted to state 'if IM stuck seeing these two bastards every day then everyone else is too!'
"Han, I didn't need to see this right before work. I'm stressed enough as it is."
"Our boy has found himself a man with money and a good friend."
"His boyfriend is a tyrannical imperialist that destroyed a star system and his friend is a murderer."
"Well... yes. But-"
"Han. Let me work in peace." Leia could already feel a headache coming on.
Afterwards: Phasma sets up the blog and posts pictures almost daily. Han comments on every single picture.