Every whistle has a story to tell

by gdwendyml

An old aquaintance has taken it upon himself to write a story about a future that wasn't supposed to happen.

Title: Every whistle has a story to tell
Author: Gdwendyml
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: A: I'm a 21 year old student
B: I still live with my parents
C: I have a job at a fastfood restaurant
I own nothing, duh, just a pair of old, smelly socks and a toothbrush...so sue me...won' t get you anywhere though...
Summary: An old aquaintance has taken it upon himself to write a story about a future that wasn't supposed to happen.
Authors Note:
This is the first chapter of a much longer story centered around Xander and how the future would be if 'the powers that be'
had interfered with Destiny's plans. Xander doesn't play a part in the first chapter, but don't worry, he'll show. ;)

Warning: bit of language.. (nothing graphic).

Touch me,
It's so easy to leave me,
All alone with the memories
Of my days in the sun,
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is.
Look, a new day, has begun

Memories – Barbra Streisand

My name is Whistler…
You might or might not have heard of me; however, it is unlikely that you did though.
You see, I am a demon, a balance demon to be precise.
Remember all that under-the-bed-and-in-the-closet crap you were afraid of when you were a kid?
All true!
Scary-ass monster hiding under the bed?
Real!
Giant, hairy thing molesting your closet?
You bet your ass that's real!
As for myself?
Not so much for the closet-hiding or the bed-bugging, let's leave that for the big, annoying guys shall we?
No, like I said, I'm a balance demon; I protect the balance between good and evil.
Basically I help the white hats out, sometimes.
Hey! Not all demons are bad, you know?

Well, enough about me, I'm here to tell you a little story.
It's kinda about demons,
And kinda about a girl.
One girl in all the world tha-
Oh screw that, won't make any sense anyway.
I'm going to say it much simpler:
Loads of demons getting people killed,
one girl in the entire world is screwed and gets superpowers to kill those demons,
Girl kills a few demons.
Girl gets killed by demons.
Another girl is screwed and gets superpowers.

That's the way it's always been
Slayers don't live very long, you know?
Most slayers don't even hit their twenties.
Why they even try to fight?
Because it's their 'destiny'.
Wanna know something about destiny?
Screw destiny!
Destiny's a lazy-ass bitch who couldn't even tie her own shoelaces!
And believe me, I should know, I even dated her once…

But that's story for later; now, I'm going to tell you about the longest-living slayer ever to walk the planet.
She's still alive, and in a few months she is going to be twenty-five.
'Yay' for her, right?

Well… Not exactly…
Even for a slayer, she has seen A LOT of bad shit going on.

She even died once…

Well, twice actually, if not for that Harris boy…

Which brings me back to the story, this slayer had friends, Good friends too, I might add.
Yup, even tried to kill her few times, those buds of hers.
Heh, one of those 'chumps' even tried to end the world once! To say that my employers weren't happy is a large understatement.
Really, I got out of that one by the skin of my teeth. Literally.

Anyways, these were only her friends, I haven't even described this slayers love life yet.
Which was horrific at best.
Granted, I was indirectly responsible for her first trip to Screw-A-corpse-to-La-La-Fest, which was uh…interesting.
Seemed that Angel, this slayer's boyfriend, and ironically also a vampire, had been a bad boy a few hundred years earlier.
He had himself a party with a few gypsies, and well, those gypsies weren't really in the mood to play,
so they souled his arse with a curse.
That's when I found him, a few hundred years later.
I showed him the way into Buffy's life. And for a while, those two were all 'amore' with each other…
until they screwed it all up by sleeping together. Pesky gypsies had a nasty surprise waiting for them.
Turned out that he would lose his soul the minute he would get a happy. Shucks huh?

So, the next few months were a literal cat and mouse game down in Sunny D.
Friends got threatened, teachers were murdered and apocalypses were planned.
Aaah, sounds just like any other day in the good, old 'dale right?

Well, when that was over Angel left for Los Angeles. Figures eh? City of Angels? Guy sure can pick his places.
After brooding for a few days, and trust me, this guy can Brood. He was joined by one Miss Cordelia Chase and a mister Doyle something.
And later by Wesley Whyndam-Pryce, Lorne, Winifred Burkle, and some 'Gunn-guy'.
And weeeeeeell, not much angels in that city, trust me, the guy who came up with that name did have a strange sense of humour,
which a lot of other demons did not appreciate.
This guy didn't care though; he named another town just to piss them off.

Who said that by being on a hellmouth the good old Sunny D would offer more evil wannabees than other places eh?
Oh right, those would be my Bosses….
I'm drifting, aren't I? I'm supposed to tell you about Buffy and the few annoying friends of hers. So, back to her shall we?
When fangface left, he left a pretty devastated 'I'm feeling sorry for myself' slayer behind.
Didn't take her long before she found herself another toy to play with. Some military guy named Riley.
That year nothing much happened and I could finally occupy myself with things that really mattered...

Can you say 'a-long-overdue-and-deserved-sitting-on-my-arse-doing- nothing-Vacation?'
Well, it was, nice, it was fun. For 'bout three-and-a-half minutes.
Turned out, miss slays-and-screws-a-lot got herself killed when I wasn't around, the idiot!

Saved the world a lot? Puh-lease! Couldn't they find anything more melodramatic to put on the kid's gravestone? Guess not.
But hey, that's what you get for saving the world…. A lot…right?

Whatever, doesn't matter, thing is, this is where it finally gets interesting, because this is the point at which
The Powers That Be AKA my pay checks, decided to screw with the timeline.
Let me explain, remember that 'Destiny" snob which I was talking about earlier?
Bitch is the one who comes up with everything.
She decides when and how a slayer is going to die, like, will she get eaten by the master?
Or will she be killed by some peroxide-addicted vamp down the Tubes of New York City at the age of 24?

Have I told you I Hate miss Bitchiny?
No? Well, now you know!

The original timeline 'the Bitch' had in mind for Buffy was to have those 'buds' of
hers to sing their little song and to pull Miss goldilocks back to earth.

Ever heard of something called 'Pandora's box'?

Well, they would be opening it all right….
and a whole lot of bloody worms would come slithering out of that can;

The First.

The biggest worm of them all. Calls himself the First of all evil.
First of all evil? I think not.
No, seriously. Give. Me. A. break.
I've known vampires that are older than that thing, believe me,
on the big scale of things, this thing isn't even out of his diapers yet.

Anyhow, Buffy and co were supposed to defeat 'the First' and destroy the Hellmouth
all at once by casting a spell that would awaken all the potential slayers in the world,
Score one for the team right?
Not exactly.

The spell would backfire. Buffy's team wouldn't notice it until a few years later when another slayer,
Faith LeHane, was killed during a particular violent fight with a few Duranthe demons.

All thought up by Madam Destin-not, yes.

Before that fight 'the B-Team' had noticed that when a slayer died, there wasn't any new one called.
So, their hopes were on Miss Lehane, she was the one that had the slayer line running right through her,
surely there would be a new slayer called when she was killed?
Alas, No. all potentials were called already. No one to be activated by her death, ergo, no new slayer.
The slayer line would effectively end with her death.

Not a good thing, right?
Nope, when 'the powers' got wind of this they quickly ordered 'Miss Bitch' to write a new one. And fast.

That was roughly a week ago.
Now, I honestly don't have a clue as to what's going to happen next,
the snob is still working on it, but I've heard rumours that a lot of it might involve some trusty side-kick of the slayer.
Anyways, I know this story is going to need to be told.

I am a balance demon. And, sometimes, the best way to keep the balance, is to write things down.
Just so you can reread them again a few hundred years later. and laugh.

exerpt from the feddanagh codex, found June, 2056 in the Californian ruins northwest of Los Angeles and currently placed in the personal library of Oswald Pillings, head of watchers, UK branch.
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