Warning- Not for anyone who want's to read anything serious or even remotely well written. I made this in 5 minutes when I was extremely hyper, but I find it mildly amusing. Make of it what you will.
Once upon a time, Bella and Voldy were on Facebook trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
"Hey babbbbbeeeeeezzzzz!" wrote Bella.
"Don't call me that." replied Voldy.
"L But I thought we were a thing… right?"
"No, I'm sleeping with your sister."
"WHAT!?"
Bellatrix couldn't believe it, Cissy always stole her boyfriends. She thought that they were dating. Oh no! How could she tell him now?
Taking a deep breath she wrote…
"But what about the baby?"
"WHAT!?"
Now it was Voldemorts turn to be confused, Bellatrix was pregnant… this would change things, for the while he should probably just figure out how to turn this stupid muggle contraption off. Laptops were so confusing.
….3 days later….
"OH MY GOD TOM GET THE HECK OVER HERE RIGHT NOW FOR THE LOVE OF MERLINS SOGGIEST BROWN Y-FRONTS!"
"….I'll apparate right over." He replied.
As Voldy walked into the room Harry Potter appeared, but instead of initiating a duel, he stole his trousers and ran of screaming, "HAHA! SUCKER!"
Shrugging this off, he walked up to Lucius, who informed him that Bella was about to give birth.
Begin freak out mode.
(Now, I'm just going to break this down for you, because things tend to get confusing around here.)
What Tom Riddle was thinking.
OMG, OMG, OMG, TOM! THINK, THINK… AHA WAND! KILL THE BABY, KILL THE CRAZY PERSON. WAND…WAND!? IN TROUSERS, WITH POTTER. DAMN, DAMN, DAMN! PREGNANCY, PREGNANCY… TWILIGHT! WHAT WOULD EDWARD DO… EAT!
The dark lord then proceeded to bend down and begin EATING Bella's stomach…
It took him 5 minutes to realise it was Narcissa, he was eating. Oh great, now an angry Lucius to deal with.
"What are you doing you imbocile!?" He screamed, obviously angry at Tom for eating his wife.
"Err… I was trying to get the baby….thought...Bella…never mind."
"Sigh…ACCIO FETUS!"
Oh, well that was considerably simpler. Well, Let's wrap this up because our magical god author is under a considerable amount of energy drinks and can't focus on this for too long withought her brain having a mental breakdown.
So Bellatrix's vagina exploded, and Voldy jumped of the Eiffel tower. Because why the hell not. THE END.
This still makes me cringe, but you know, why not?