A/N: Hi friends!!! This is my first delve into probably my most FAVORITE series of books ever. I adore Janet Evanovich and Stephanie Plum. I'll warn you- this is NOT going to be a Joe vs Ranger story. I always thought Joe was an ass and got away with treating Stephanie pretty shitty. And Ranger, God knows he's hot and steamy, but he isn't right for her either (at least not atm). So let's explore some other options! I own no one, except the characters I make up. I also don't know all the characters true names, backgrounds or appearances so I'm making those up too. Enjoy!!* I am editing chapters when I find errors*
Trouble in Trenton
Chapter 1
Ranger POV
I sat, waiting for Stephanie to emerge from the apartment in my building where she was getting ready, thinking to myself how did we get here ? It started out innocently enough, or at least as innocent as the two of us could be. She has been a bounty hunter for her cousin Vinnie for the last 2 years, and while she has good instincts she has a lousy sense of awareness to her surroundings. Hence my involvement with her. I own Rangeman, a security operation that handles large skips and security contracts around the world. Tonight? Is a distraction set up, and why I'm waiting for Stephanie to show. I'm surrounded by my team members, as they make idle conversation and I'm lost in my thoughts. Bringing Stephanie on board has made my team a little soft, they typically let nothing distract them, but in the long run I think it'll be a good thing. We don't have female employees with the exception of Ella, our housekeeper and in house "Mom", so the men have had a bit of an adjustment period working around Stephanie but they've bounced back pretty well. I glance around the table at my crew, Tank is my second. Strong, sturdy, and has that nickname for a reason, he's even bigger than I am (and that's saying something). Next to him my cousin Lester Santos, always joking but who I know I can count on in a pinch. Then there's Robert Brown , aka Bobby our medic. We also have Hector, Hal, Cal, Ram, Hank and several other members chatting up a storm, getting ready for the op. I hear silence fall over the room as I glance at the doorway, and there she is. Stephanie Plum, dressed in a skin tight blue top that matches her eyes, a skirt that barely covers her ass, FMP's and her brown curly hair somehow inexplicably tamed. I can hear my men shift around in their seats, and I understand why. My pants got tight the second I laid eyes on her all those years ago in that diner and they never have got any more comfortable since then, but tonight… Tonight I needed to keep my brain focused . I stood up and walked to her "Babe." My nickname for her always on the tip of my tounge.
"So, is this the look you were going for?" she smiled and I swear I could hear the men muttering responses under their breath. I shot them all a look but that didn't stop my cousin from jumping up and sliding over to her.
"Beautiful, you are… just… wow." Lester was never one to be short on a lewd comment or two, so his lack of words struck me as comical.
Stephanie just laughed, her curls bobbing. "Oh Lester, you know just what to say to a girl don't you?"
Stephanie's POV
I looked in the mirror at myself, pretty pleased. I was at Rangeman getting ready for a distraction op, and had gone all out. Oh I should back up a bit probably. I am Stephanie Plum, aka the Bombshell Bounty Hunter of Trenton NJ. Why the nickname? I have a tendency to attract shit, literally as well as figuratively. I can't explain the amount of times I've been covered in garbage of one sort or another . I also tend to lose vehicles at a rather impressive rate. I work for Vincent Plum, my cousin, at his bail bonds office picking up skips that "forgot" to go to their bond hearings. Sometimes I'm pretty good, I can go a whole day without someone trying to run me down or shoot at me, and then other days… well, today marks the 15th one of my vehicles to cross over to that big car lot in the sky. It wasn't my fault! It usually isn't, but the whole "attracting shit " aspect of my life just keeps rearing it's lovely head.
So I have been working for my cousin for the last couple of years, but my first day on the job was a doozy. My skip? The person I needed to track down was none other than my good for nothing ex Joseph Morelli, who had been accused of murder. Yeah, the cop Joe Morelli, who I played choo-choo with at 6 years old, and who took my innocence behind the counter at the Tasty Pastry where I worked when I was 16… that Joseph Morelli. Joe and I had tried to work things out over the years, even after I ran him over when I was 19 with my grandpa's car Big Blue, but it just never worked out (can't understand why). My cousin's office manager Connie figured I would need assistance being my first case and all, so she introduced me to Ranger. I can't even say his name without turning into a puddle on the floor… he is tall and solid, skin the color of a caramel mocha latte that I could drink all day…in the end I got Morelli (even after he handcuffed me naked to my shower rod), proved his innocence on the crime he supposedly committed, AND found a "friend" in the process. A friend who was definitely NOT hard to look at. He then introduced me to his crew, or as I call them the Merry Men of Rangeman. That's his security company, and let me tell you, a girl could combust with the amount of hotness that abounds here. Ranger , or as he's otherwise known as Ricardo Carlos Manoso , asked me to start helping his company out on some easier takedowns that required a woman's touch. So I did, and now it's been two years of working with him and his crew and I wouldn't change a thing. My part in the company is usually background research and ops like tonight. We have a serial rapist on the loose, who enjoys picking up women at a bar in town, and even though the guys make for some really HOT guys, they wouldn't make for a very convincing woman, so here I am. Dressed to the nines, I chose a skin tight blue top that would accentuate my eyes, not to mention my other assets, a barely there skirt, 4 inch FMP's and somehow got my unruly mop of curls into a cute up do without too much of a hassle. I finished the look off with a bright shade of lipstick and about 5 layers of mascara (it's like my secret weapon, making me invincible). I gave myself one last look in the mirror and set off for the conference room where the rest of the team was waiting.
The team consists of some of the most well built, most attractive, and sweetest guys you could ever want to meet. Most served in the Army together , so they've gone through some massive stuff as a crew. As mentioned previously the boss is Ranger. I thought for a second we might actually have something at one time, but he became distant and quiet which just makes my spidey sense tingle. Tank is his second in command, or Pierre Thibidoux. Definitely don't call him anything BUT Tank. Dark skinned and built like the size of a… well… Tank , he's actually one of the scarier, more intimidating men, at least he was when I first was introduced to him. Now? He's like a big teddy bear to me, but still scary as shit to people that cross his path. Then there's Lester Santos, Rangers cousin. Smarmy but not in a bad way, Les exudes sex appeal. Deep green eyes and the same shade of mocha caramel latte skin as Ranger. He never is at a loss for words… he's always hitting on me, but it's sort of cute. Robert Brown, or Bobby, is their team medic. And boy do they need it. I thought I got into trouble, these guys have been shot at, stabbed, and generally maimed more times than I can count in the two years I've known them. Bobby is probably my favorite out of the core team, mainly because we see each other quite a bit. Did I mention I get hurt a lot? I'm kind of accident prone. Bobby always keeps a stash of lollipops for me in his exam room, which is probably the sweetest (no pun intended) thing anyone has ever done for me. Knowing how I get when I haven't had any sugar, the men try to avoid seeing that side of me come out. The rest of the core team are Ram, Hector, Cal, Hal , Hank and Rodriguez (who seems to be invisible because I've never met him). As I walk in I hear the chatting cease and the men shifting in their chairs. Yup Steph ya still got it.
I hear Ranger clear his throat as he stands and walks over to me. "Babe." Oh yes, the patented nickname. It can mean so many things depending on his mood. You're aggravating me. Or you're being ridiculous. Or you look amazing (tonight's version). Or my personal favorite forget everything and everyone and take me here and now. I haven't heard that version of it for awhile.
"So, is this the look you were going for?" I give him a wide grin as I hear the men muttering responses that I'm sure would make me blush if I wasn't used to them. Being around them for 2 years has made me realize I can't get all girly every time they compliment me, although it definitely is nice for my ego.
Lester jumped up, ignored his cousins glare, wrapping his arm around my waist. "Beautiful, you are… just… wow." Lester always had a comment to make when it came to distraction ops, so the fact he was sputtering told me a lot.
I had to laugh, causing my curls to bounce. "Oh Lester, you know just what to say to a girl don't you?"
"Shall we go over the protocol one more time?" Bobby stood and pointed to his seat so I could sit down. I slipped out of Lester's grip and came around the table to take a seat, giving him a kiss on the cheek before doing so. He smiled at me with a 200 watt smile "You look beautiful Bomber." Again with the nicknames. As I mentioned I have a reputation of attracting mayhem whenever I go... seriously it's like that guy from the commercials follows me around. That includes but is not limited to fire bombs(hence my nickname )of my vehicles and residences. It gets pretty annoying after awhile, and if I wasn't working for Ranger I probably would have to rob a bank to afford my insurance premiums. A lot of the men call me Bomber , Lester calls me beautiful, and Tank calls me little girl. It's cute, normally I would get aggravated at the pet names but this is just their way of making me feel like part of the crew.
"Ron Bowman, 29… graduate of Princeton college, frat boy extraordinaire and serial rapist. He has money which is why he hasn't been convicted of anything yet, and always gets bonded out. Tonight we change that. His last victim died as a result of her injuries, and he will most definitely being going back to jail." The men clenched their jaws as I checked their faces. These may be scary ass guys, capable of killing a man with one finger but they HATED violence against women. Abhorred it really, and would do anything to make sure it didn't happen. They all had sisters, cousins, mothers, grandmother's…they were good men with good hearts. Which is why I loved every single one of them. "Stephanie?" I shook my head and blushed.
"Sorry what?" Ranger was looking at me with the whole "Pay attention please " look on his face.
"I was going over assignments – Ram will be the bartender, he will be serving you non alcoholic beverages but make sure you act intoxicated, the worse off the better. I'll have two men inside with you, watching. We will have two men on the back door and the rest will be out front. All you have to do is get him outside and we'll take it from there. " Ranger explained and I nodded.
"You gotcha boss man!" We all stood and headed to the club. As we pulled up and got out (well enough away so we didn't look obvious) I had to ask. "So who is the lucky son of a bitch that gets to mic me tonight?" I giggled as most of the men rushed over and gave me their best puppy dog eye routine .
"Babe." Okay so that one was the seriously what are you doing to my men babe. I giggled again and shrugged. Who was I to deny these guys a moment of fun ? "Bobby, stay in the van for medical support if needed. Ram head inside through the back and get behind the bar. Hector and Hal you're my two inside support. Lester and Tank in the back. Hank, you and I are out front . Cal, mic her." I heard groans from everyone else and a soft "YES!" come from Cal.
I stood in front of Cal, who is at least 6'5 with a bald head and the COOLEST skull tattoo, and smiled sweetly at him. "Where you wanna put it?"
I heard him moan a bit and Ranger mutter his trademark "Babe."
"What? I'm just asking." I waited til Rangers back was turned before sticking my tongue out at him.
"Babe." Oh that's the I saw that, and I'm not impressed babe. Damn. The man has super vision or something I swear. I turned back to Cal who was completely red , holding the microphone in his hand. I pulled my top up so Cal can place the microphone low enough it won't be seen. He tapes it on quickly, his fingers brushing the underside of my breast which made me giggle. He withdrew his hand like a snake had bit it. "Sorry Cal, I'm ticklish." I lowered my shirt and he hands me the earpiece, which I quickly put in, and Cal jumps in the van so I can test it. "One two three is this thing on?" I whisper and hear an affirmative back in my earpiece .
Ranger pulls me aside to give me another quick reminder of how the night is supposed to go, like I haven't done these a million times before. Drink, pretend to get wasted, let murdery rapist guy think he's getting some, boom and done. It's all second nature at this point. "Ranger I've got it. Trust me." I throw him a wink and head inside.
As I enter I quickly spot my backups. Technically they aren't supposed to make a move at all unless something drastic goes down , but it's nice to know they're there if I need them. Hector Ramirez, Hispanic ex gang member with the teardrop tattoos to prove how bad ass he is. For some unknown reason the men seem to thing he's gay, but I know otherwise . He helps me train on how to do takedowns , and since I've had him pressed up against me during our training I know he is definitely NOT gay. That and the talks we have during our sessions when no one else is around. The team seems to think he only speaks Spanish, but in reality be speaks perfect English, he just chooses not to with anyone but me. He's also helping me learn some phrases in Spanish, like florecita, which means little flower. It's happens to be what he calls me.
His partner inside is Hal. Hal is like… A Ken doll, if Ken was 6'4 and could bench 350 lbs. He has dirty blond hair in a buzz cut, and looks like he came straight out of the military. Hal was my first partner of the group, and he never once complained , not even when he got shot twice while helping me with a skip. I had to stay with him in the hospital, I mean he took bullets for me! The hospital we frequent basically gave up trying to keep me out of the guys rooms when they were there. It was sort of understood that I would always stay with them so they weren't alone. Since I had started at Rangeman, none of the men have had girlfriends. I don't know if it's the danger of the job, or the fact they could get called out and be "off the grid " for an undetermined amount of time(most are still under contract with the government)… so I told Ranger from that first hospital trip I would be the one to stay with whoever was injured. He put up a little fight at first but quickly backed down.
After I located my two friends on the inside I slid up to the bar and gave a warm smile to the bartender. Ram (Or Michael Ramsey) looks like he came straight out off one of those cheesy romance novel covers about a cowboy. Tall, blond, built like a brick house with the most gorgeous blue grey eyes I've ever seen, Ram has never said a bad word about anyone or anything. I would swear he is some sort of saint… except I know what he did in the military. As the group's sniper he has an eye like an eagle, and has saved me from more than one exploding car since I started working at Rangeman. For some reason he thinks I'm angel, even though he does all the saving in the relationship.
"Hello pretty lady, what can I get you?" he tilts his head slightly to my left indicating the target is sitting there.
"Gin and tonic with a twist of lime please." Code for seltzer water and lime. He grins at me and places the glass in front of me, and I start to sip. After about an hour and two more drinks out of my peripheral vision I see Bowman making his way towards me and I fight the urge to just kick him where the sun don't shine immediately . I take a deep breath and steady myself.
"Hi there gorgeous. What's your name?" Bleh.
"Hey yourself. I'm Cindy." I throw him my sexpot smile and I see Rams' mouth turn up at the corners, before he turns away.
"I don't think I've seen you here before… can I buy you a drink ?"
I nod and smile flirtatiously "Most definitely." Double bleh.
He orders straight tequila shots , thankfully Ram supplements mine with water. As we shoot down shot after shot he becomes more handsy. I can hear the men in my earpiece basically growling like possessed animals of some sort (my inside guys must being giving them the play by play somehow).
"How about we go back to my place ?" Jesus finally. "I live right around the corner." Bowman looks me up and down, placing his hand on my thigh. I had to control the urge to grab his hand and break a finger.
"Ohhh yes pleassseee… " Drunk Cindy draws out her sentences. "That sounds heavenly." I stand up and reach down to get my bag and I can hear the groaning in my earpiece from Hector and Hal.
"Oh Dios mío." I hear Hector mutter "su falda"… (Oh my god… her skirt).
I had totally forgotten the skirt barely covered my ass, and when I got up and bent down to grab my purse I just gave the two of them, along with any other bar patrons that happened to be looking my way, a good show of what I had on underneath. These outfits get shorter on each op I swear. I straightened back up and grinned at my soon to be captured buddy "Let's goooo!"
He slung his arm around my waist and we walked to the front door. As he pushes it open I "stumble" forward, causing him to try and help catch me. When I turn around I give him a big grin and lean in close, whispering in his ear "I'm a bond enforcement officer, and you are in violation of your bond." He barely has time to register my words before Ranger and Hank are there to help secure him, leading him off to parts unknown. I can hear him yelling at me "You stupid bitch! You have no idea what you've done!!"
I roll my eyes in very a "Stephanie Plum" manner. "Yeah yeah, that's what they all say. " I reply to his retreating form. The sliding door to the surveillance van is open and there's sweet Cal waiting for my microphone and earpiece. I save him the embarrassment of another possible brush with my boob and take the mic off myself , handing it to him as I hear someone from behind me.
"Damn beautiful, I would have done that for you since Cal is too chicken shit."
I turn around and grin at Lester as the rest of our crew come out and join in a big circle . "I should have known you would volunteer Les. You sure you could handle it?" I winked and dashed off before he could catch me, right into Bobby's arms.
"Hey Bomber. Great job tonight… this guy bothering you?" Bobby laughed and switched into "bouncer" mode since no doctoring needed done . I just giggled and hid behind him, sticking my tounge out at Les.
"Babe." And there's the quit distracting my men and get in the van babe. Ranger dismissed us back to Rangeman , as he and Hank took the creep to the police station. I hop into the SUV , grinning and waiting for my Merry Men to get done messing with each other so we can go home.