Summary: AU. She remembers the days when he could love, but now he's a demon, life isn't the same. He didn't have to make the choice, and she didn't understand. Why did he make the choice? Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters. I only own my OC. I don't own the lyrics used in this fic either.

A/N: Okay, I've not felt very happy recently and this came into my head. I wonder if you can guess who it's about. Hope you enjoy and if you want more, perhaps a happy ending *sniffle* then please let me know. The lyrics are in italics and slightly changed to suit the purpose, but if you know the song, then you know that the changes are barely there. Please review!

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When He Loved Me

They were laying in almost total darkness. They could barely see each other but she didn't really want to look at him. He was moving inside her body and she felt sick to her stomach because she didn't want it, and no matter what she said to him, he never listened. This was her life. Answering to him, listening to him. Those days when she was an innocent eighteen year old who was madly in love with someone who felt just the same about her were long gone.

Just he and I together like it was meant to be.

She remembered how they'd spend so much time together, how despite their age gap he loved her no matter what. She remembered how tender his kisses were, how eager he was to make her happy. How eager he was to cherish her and love her. But not anymore.

When he loved me...

She had to look at him, no matter how much she didn't want to. He leaned down to kiss her, his lips cold against hers. His eyes were black, the demon in him always there, in her face, always emanating from him like a wave of energy. He continued to move at a slow pace, not liking it when she didn't kiss him in return. He stopped and tapped his lower lip twice, while she leaned up and kissed him as he silently told her to.

She remembered those days when she'd left school, before she started college when they'd spend lazy summer afternoons together in the back yard and they'd make love in the warm evening sun. She remembered when he'd call her beautiful and when he told her he loved her.

Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all...

"Move with me." He whispered, his deep voice sending shivers down her spine.

She did, repulsed by the very thought of him using her like this. He'd told her he'd love her forever. He'd say it so often. His body didn't feel like a comfort to her anymore. It didn't feel like warmth and protection as it used to. It felt cold. He felt cold. She remembered when he'd tell her that he'd love her. Always.

When he'd say: 'I will always love you'.

She remembered how he'd hold her when she cried, how he'd protect her and look after her no matter what happened to him as a consequence. She remembered how much he cared for her when she was sick, how he'd stay by her side until she was completely recovered. She remembered how much he'd been there for her when she'd miscarried their first baby.

When he loved me...

Then things had started to change. He'd become more isolated, more pained. He'd started to drink, he'd become depressed. He'd come to bed drunk and cry in her arms over his guilt that she was unhappy and that their baby was gone. They'd been expecting a girl. They hadn't picked a name for her, but she'd been there all the same, and without her, they felt like they were nothing.

So the years went by, I stayed the same, yet he began to drift away.

"Kiss me." He whispered, earning one from her as they continued to move slowly, "Talk to me."

"What do you want me to talk about?" She asked, a tear sliding down her face.

"Say something sexy."

"Like what?"

"Think of something."

She did think of something. She thought of the day he made that deal. According to him, he'd done it for her. He'd done it for their baby. He'd done it for them. And their beautiful baby girl, Lily May, slept in her crib in the room at the other end of the hallway.

"Fuck..."

He was done. He slumped on top of her and sighed, kissing her and rolling away from her before taking a shot of whiskey down, looking at her expectantly. She did as he wanted. She cuddled up to him as though she'd enjoyed it before she started to rub his chest, kissing his cheek tenderly. She wished they could go back to the days when she enjoyed laying with him like that.

When he loved me...

-TBC-

Hope you enjoyed!

Thanks for reading.

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