Chapter One:
You're ugly. You're fat. No one likes you. You're worthless. Everyone hates you.
It seemed as if her inner demons are screaming from the inside, these hurtful things. Nina closed her notebook. Nina sighed. She heard her name being called.
"Nina?" Fabian said, as he walked up the steps. Nina grasped hold of her ear phones, and put them on; they were not attached to anything. The door opened, and Fabian poked his head in. Nina nodded her head as if she was keeping track with the beat of the 'song' she was 'listening' to.
"Nina!" Fabian said, walking in and closing the door. Nina looked up, pretending to be stunned.
"Fabian! Hi!" She said, pulling the earphones off, and moving her legs off the bed so he could sit down. And he did.
"It's time to leave for school." He said. Nina nodded, and smiled a fake smile; one that she plastered on her face every single day. Fabian smiled back. And yet again, Fabian still believed her smile. Well, he used to.
"Let me see the damage this time." Fabian said. Nina looked into his deep blue eyes, and sighed. Nina can't hide this from him, her boyfriend. They were supposed to tell everything to each other. Nina held her arm out, and rolled up her white sleeve. Fabian stared down at the red cuts cascading down her arm.
The cuts were perfectly parallel to one another. And one long deep cut, going down her entire arm. Fabian wanted to cry.
"I'm sorry; I know I disappointed you again. But, I couldn't help it." Nina said, softly and quietly. Fabian had to push the tears aside, and pluck up the courage and say it.
"Nina, you need to stop. This is getting way out of hand." He said, not looking up from her arm. Nina stood up.
"It's not that simple Fabian. I can't just 'stop.'" She admitted. Fabian stood up.
"Whenever you feel like-" He had to think a moment before he said the word 'cutting'.
"Cutting, please talk to me. And we'll work it out." He said. He took her hand. Nina nodded.
"But, you have to give me your razors." Fabian said. Nina gasped.
"I know you can just go buy another pack whenever you want. But, I will need them, now. "Fabian said, seriously. Nina began to shake her head.
"Please no, please Fabian." Nina began to panic. She sighed.
"Turn around. I'll get them out." She said. Fabian sighed and faced the wall. Nina made sure he wasn't looking and reached into her box under her bed, and grabbed the four big boxes of razors. Each box held sixty razors. She wasn't giving the ones in her bag up. She slid the box back under the bed.
"Here' she said flatly. Fabian turned and almost fell to see all of the razors. Grabbed them, and stuffed them in the bag.
"Now, here, I snagged you this orange. Eat it, please?" Fabian asked. Nina nodded.
"You go ahead down the stairs, I'm going to pack my bag, wait for me?" She asked. Fabian nodded and kissed her. He exited the room. Nina made sure he was gone, and grabbed her bag. She tossed the orange in the trash.
I'm not getting fat.
She thought.