prompts at the bottom
thanks to ana, amia, and vic for betaing!
1649 word by gdocs
There's a war going on and Frank is sitting in his living room, reading a book. Or trying to, at least.
The same line has hit his eyes three times.
'"And look: everyone's been joking about it for years. It's almost like a laugh that we're making it happen!" Mr. Smith said.'
With a sigh, Frank closes the book. He doesn't even know what the characters are joking about. He can't pay attention to a book. There's a war going on! He should be fighting. He should be contributing to the cause.
Frank glances up across the room, looking at his wife. She's sitting in a separate chair, reading her own book. Her hair is draped across her shoulders and her face glows slightly in the light of their living room. The sight of her brings a pang to his heart because he knows that she's the reason he's not fighting. Her and their unborn child. Alice told Frank she was pregnant on the day he was going to go and train with the Order to fight against the Death Eaters, almost a month ago. It was a last-ditch effort to make him stay. They both knew that. Frank stayed anyway. Alice has said that she doesn't want their child to be fatherless. Frank, on the other hand, feels like them having a child is just another reason for him to join the war. He wants to be able to be a father in a safe Wizarding World. What's the point of having a child in a world full of darkness?
"Alice," Frank says. He's started so many sentences with her name lately. Judging by the way her eyebrows rise she knows what he's about to say.
"No," she says, not even giving him a chance to speak. She doesn't look up, keeping her eyes stuck to her book. Frank sighs as she turns a page. She's obviously not in the mood for a conversation. The same conversation they've had several times in the past few weeks.
Frank decides to push on anyway.
"Alice," he says again. This time she puts down her book and looks up at him, one hand on her stomach. Where their child is. She's not showing a bump yet, but he knows.
Yes, he knows.
"I should be fighting," Frank says softly, just loud enough for Alice to hear.
Alice closes her eyes for a three count. Frank can hear her breath in deeply.
"I am not going to raise a child by myself, Frank," she says. There's almost desperation in her voice, like she knows that this time, Frank might win their argument.
He really wants to win.
Scratch that. He needs to win. He needs to fight.
"And I am not going to raise a child in a world where we have to hide away to survive," he says back.
Even if they didn't have a child on the way, Frank and Alice would still be hiding in their house. Anyone who's not a Death Eater isn't safe in the world nowadays. Frank had a happy childhood. He got to run around and be friends with Muggles and go outside after dark.
He doesn't want his child to miss out on that.
He doesn't want You-Know-Who to win and for his child to grow up in a terrible world.
If he could just fight, this could all be over. He's a great wizard. He could help turn the tide of the war. This could be over faster.
"The war doesn't depend on you," Alice shoots back at him.
Frank doesn't know when he stood up, but he's on his feet now. Alice is on her feet, too. She looks as angry as he feels. Lately, both of their tempers have been idling on high.
"And what if it does?" Frank asks her. He wouldn't know if he could change the outcome of the war, because he's not fighting in it. He won't know until he gets out there.
"They don't need you," Alice says, her voice cracking. "I need you."
The hurt in Alice's voice hurts Frank, but he's not going to back down. He's had enough of staying inside and laying low. He needs to fight. When he first got married to Alice, Frank wasn't one to seek out a fight, but when they first got married, the Wizarding World wasn't being terrorised by You-Know-Who.
Besides, Frank has been by Alice's side since they first went into hiding, and she hasn't needed him. He's offered her everything he could to help, but she gets by on her own.
"You don't need me," he tells her. When did his voice get so loud? His neck feels warm. "You don't need me," he repeats, his voice quieter this time.
Alice turns away from him. Frank's pretty sure he's overstepped, but what can he do? His mother always told him to never back down if he believes in something. He believes in this. Fighting to make the world a better place for his son.
"If I don't need you, then go," Alice whispers, still not facing Frank.
For a second Frank thinks he's won. She's finally agreeing with him that fighting in the war is better than just staying at home.
And then it registers in Frank's brain that he didn't win. She's telling him to leave.
She's telling him that she can be without him.
Not just while the war is happening, but forever.
"Alice," Frank says, his voice low. He reaches out to take her hand, but she immediately pulls away.
"I don't need you, Frank," she says. She's looking down at the floor. Frank just wishes that she'd look up. "You said it yourself. Go fight in your war."
Frank stands there, not sure what to say. When Alice doesn't say anything else, Frank turns away from her.
"Fine," he says, his voice barely above a whisper.
And he walks away.
Frank walks away from Alice, and he doesn't stop walking until he's out the door.
He has a war to fight.
Rain splashes down on him as soon as he steps out of the door. The tears start pouring down his face a second later. He can't make them stop. They just pour down, mixing with the rain water. His clothes become soaked with rain and tears in a matter of seconds.
All Frank can think is: Holy crap, I'm an idiot.
Why did he leave?
Frank's hands are shaking. He's not sure if it's from the cold, the rain, or because he's terrified that he won't be able to get Alice back. Probably both. He's a dumbass. If one second without her is making him feel like this, like his heart has been ripped out of his body, then he doesn't know how he'll be able to fight a war. He doesn't even know why he thought he could fight.
He want to fight for their child…
Frank wants their child to grow up in a safe world. Even if Frank's not in that world. If Frank could just help the Wizarding World get to that point…
Except Alice is right, too. Their child shouldn't have to grow up without a father.
And now it doesn't matter. Frank has messed up so badly that even if he doesn't go to fight, or even if he goes and survives, their kid will grow up without a father.
Can Frank just walk back in? Make it all better between them?
Or maybe, Frank ponders, thoughts dripping in like the rain hitting soaking through his shirt, we're already too damaged. Maybe we're beyond repair.
Frank sinks down to the ground, his pants getting drenched. He lets the rain pour down on him for a few moments, thinking.
The night gives Frank a sense of solace. He tries to just think.
Maybe it's cheesy, but Frank thinks the rain has washed away his negativity.
They are not beyond repair. Frank thought that he needed to be fighting with the Order, but he really needs to fight for Alice. For their family.
Maybe Alice doesn't need him, but Frank is absolutely certain of one thing: he needs her.
Still shaking — now definitely from the rain; he's not scared anymore — Frank turns around and grabs the door handle. He walks into their house, rainwater dripping onto the floor of their front hallway.
Alice is still in the living room, but she's sitting back in her chair, with her eyes closed tight.
"Alice?" Frank says, slightly shocked at how cracked his voice sounds.
Alice's eyes spring open. She takes in the sight of Frank standing there, drenched head to toe, before jumping up. It's almost like slow motion — they run towards each other and embrace. Frank doesn't want to let go of her, but she eventually pulls away.
"I'm sorry," they say at the same time.
"No, I am," they say, still speaking in unison.
"You go," she whispers, before he can say the same thing.
"I wasn't wrong," he says, which doesn't sound like the best apology. He rushes on, though. "You don't need me. But I've realised that I need you. You're my everything, Alice."
Frank has told Alice that he loves her plenty of times, but this time, it feels different. Maybe it's because he's not saying the words 'I love you'. He's telling her the he loves her without saying it so directly. Judging by the soft look on her face, he thinks that she gets it.
"I couldn't live without you. I'm sorry," he says, pouring everything into those words.
Alice doesn't say anything. She just takes his face in her faces and draws him close, pressing their lips together. Instead of drawing away, she puts her lips near his ear, and whispers into it.
"Go take a shower. You smell like rain."
Frank can't help but smile.
for:
drabble game challenge [for rose, frank/alice - this town / niall horan]
quidditch league [captain, round 5, use a title from your keeper as inspiration - 'the stars shine for thee' by features of blown youth]
the houses competition [gryffindor, year 3, short - rain]