[Internal Battle]
Tan slender fingers slid softly against the slumbering man's face. Whisper-soft caresses were placed upon eternally pale skin. He's absolutely beautiful this way thought Ken as he watched the slow exhalation and inhalation of the older man's breathing. He's at peace the brunette thought sadly as his fingers pulled away as if ashamed to have ever touched something so precious and rare. I've marred his beauty with my sins. This wonderful man was not his to hold and Ken knew this. His battered soul and twisted mind reminded him everyday he was with Ran. However, his heart refused such thoughts. His still pure heart knew that his love for this man would outlast everything, his soul, his mind and his existence.
Everyday the same internal battle was being fought and the same victory came but at what cost? Everyday his heart pushed and both his soul and mind pushed back. Everyday he knew he was winning a losing war. He may have won the small battles but the war was yet to come. His heart was almost at its end, its fight losing more and more everyday because there was no other support.
Ken watched Ran closely. He looked for any signs of consciousness on the angelic face that slumbered beside his weary body but found nothing. He sighed in relief and drifted slowly back to sleep the last thoughts being of his love.
+ + + +
Eyelids fluttered gently at first as he was being pulled from the realms of sleep. They opened fully as the body next to his own jerked from his hold. He propped himself up on one elbow and regarded the still sleeping angel in the throws of what seemed like a nightmare. His head trashed from side to side as his brows grew together in slight fear and confusion. Those soft lips parted and jumbled words fell out. "Ken…" Slight fear was laced on that single word whispered from the man. "Ken…please…" A pleading tone now accompanied the fear. "Ken…please….no, stop…it hurts…"
Tears filled the sleep-darken jade eyes as that fearful pleading tone whispered those words. Finally they sank in the meaning clear as the sun's glorious appearance every morning. His heart shattered quietly in the numbing pain that coursed through his body. [Do you see the pain you cause him?] Ken nodded slowly as he watched the older man once more. This ends here thought the brunette as he reached forward and laid one single kiss upon the angel's forehead. "The pain will stop." he whispered as sobs threatened to overtake his body. He watched dejectedly as the man stopped trashing about. The lines of fear and confusion erased from his perfect face.
"I know…" His voiced cracked as his emotions overwhelmed him. "I know I was hurting you Ran and now I'll make it all better." The finality of that statement stun hard as tears flowed down his face. He felt pain like nothing he'd ever experienced in his life. This was numbing his senses till he couldn't feel anymore. He got up slowly not wanting to wake Ran and collected his clothes. With one last glance from the threshold of Ran's room Ken was gone. "I love you Ran."
"Don't leave me Ken…"
[Owari]
A/N: Something I wrote a long time ago. I even forgot about this fic. I revamped it and voila, it's here. It's un-beta-ed so please excuse all errors. I hope it doesn't disrupt the flow too much. Review please. *bows* Thanks for reading.