"So we've all had that dream where we've gone to school without clothes on, am I right," Jack Bing says to his twin sister Erica Bing, cousins Ben Gellar and Emma Gellar-Green, and their friend Sophie Hannigan when their all sitting in their favorite coffee shop Central Perk, after work.
"I've had the one where I'm going on the air in nothing but a lace bra and panties," Emma says as her protective older brother glares at her.
"Are you trying to kill me? Although if you did do that your show wouldn't be last in the ratings," Ben says going back to his magazine.
"Are you suggesting ?" Emma asks as Ben glares at her again.
"If you do that you won't only kill me, you'll also kill Dad, and Grandpa, and then Mom will kill you, and before he dies Dad would kill Uncle Joey so he never finds out," Ben says seriously although he's joking.
"I love how you call Aunt Rachel Mom because she's not," Sophie says giggling to herself.
"Well no, but my real mom ran off with her wife when I was twelve to live in a lesbian nudist colony in North Dakota, so I call Rachel Mom," Ben says, everyone loves that story.
"Can we get back to me now. I mean Ben's pain is always funny, but my dream is really, really funny, so funny that any minute now Jimmy Fallon is going to walk in that door and want to put me on The Tonight Show" Jack says pointing to the door, no one enters.
"Jack you know we love you, but no one what's to hear about that. Dad's had that dream before and told us about it," Erica says reaching over to pat Jack's leg.
"Well I'm insulted," Jack says trying to play off that he was.
"You'll get over it," Emma says taking her phone out of her purse.
"I need to be going anyway, I'm interviewing potential roommate's," Jack says as he stands up and slings his black coat over his arm.
"Another roommate, what happened to Patrick ?" Ben asks closing his magazine.
"He never took out the trash, excuse me for not wanting to live in a dump," Jack says making a big deal out of nothing.
"What about Adam ?" Emma asks setting her iPhone on the coffee table.
"He snored so loud the paintings shook," Jack says as Erica and Emma look a little confused.
"Is that what that was, I thought we were having an earthquake ?" Erica asks setting down her chi tea.
"See, I'm not crazy," Jack says sitting down on the arm of the orange couch as everyone stops making eye contact with him.
"What about Zach? I liked Zach," Sophie says sipping her coffee.
"Exactly you liked him all over the apartment, including in my bed," Jack says as everyone looks at Sophie.
"You know what margaritas do to me, he didn't, but he knows now," Sophie says smiling to herself.
"Ignoring that disturbing image, I want a roommate who takes out the trash once in a while, who sleeps soundly, and who doesn't sleep with one of my best friends," Jack says standing up again.
"Do you know what your problem is, you're picky, you have been ever since we were kids. Do you remember when Mom made that tuna casserole thing, and you refused to eat it because you never tried tuna before," Erica says remembering.
"And do you remember what happened when I did eat the casserole, I broke out in hives and my throat closed up, then we discovered that I'm allergic to tuna in the emergency room," Jack says pulling on his coat.
"So you're picky about your roommates because they might make your throat close up," Ben says a little unsure.
"Oh that's not the reason," Sophie says sipping more of her coffee.
"What do you mean ?"Jack asks a little confused, as is everyone else.
"You find little things wrong with perfectly fine guys when you realize they're not what you want," Sophie says as everyone looks at her.
"What do I want, since you know everything," Jack says sitting back on the arm of the couch.
"You want a Joey," Sophie says not explaining.
"A Joey, do you mean a kangaroo Joey, Soph ?"Ben asks treading lightly.
"No, an uncle Joey. You know how we're all like one of our parents in our group. I'm like my Mom, weird and spunky," Sophie says flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder.
"Yeah, like Erica is just like Aunt Monica," Emma says as Erica glares at her.
"I am not my Mom" Erica snaps.
"Oh, really ?" Ben asks putting his feet up on the coffee table.
"Okay stop your making the table filthy," Erica says swatting Ben's feet off the coffee table and cleans up the nonexistent mess with her napkin,"Oh my god I'm my Mother," She says moving back to her chair.
"And Ben is like Uncle Ross," Jack says as Ben's head whips to his direction.
"I am not like my Dad, I'm not," Ben says as Emma starts laughing.
"Oh, really so you cheating on your college girlfriend with the barista at Starbucks,"Emma says leaning in close to her brother.
"We were on a break," Ben says copying their father almost exactly.
"Okay, so Sophie is Aunt Phoebe, I'm my Mom, Ben is Uncle Ross, so that makes Emma Aunt Rachel, and Jack our Dad," Erica says as Emma picks up her phone again.
"My Mom's a senior VP at Ralph Lauren and gets all the free clothes from that brand she wants, that's fine with me," Emma says sending a text.
"And Dad is funny and got all the chicks before he and Mom hooked up," Jack says running his hand through his short brown hair trying to look cool.
"Did Dad tell you that, because Mom told me that's bull," Erica says as everyone else laughs.
"Ha ha ha, that's so funny, I'm going to go before you insult me even more, and I am not looking for a Joey, Ben's my Joey," Jack says smacking Ben on the head before he leaves the coffee house.
"I'm not his Joey since I'm Dad, I don't need a Joey," Ben says picking up another magazine from the coffee table.
"I give this new guy three weeks," Emma says taking a pad of paper out of her purse to take bets.
"I'll take that action, but I guess thirty days, no more," Sophie says taking ten dollars from her purse and hands it to Emma for safe keeping.
"I'm not that much like my Mom, am I ?" Erica asks as Emma, Ben, and Sophie all look at each other, turn back to Erica and nod.
"I'm doomed aren't I ?"Erica asks as everyone nods again.