A Tale of Erestor and Rather Large Books

Author: Malara

Summary: After spending hours and hours cleaning his-I mean, THE library-Erestor is rather… distraught… to see that Glorfy has successes in destroying it in less than three minutes… ONE-SHOT; COMPLETE

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings. I feel really stupid stating the obvious. :)

Author's Note: I wrote bits and pieces of this a long time ago, and I found it recently. I'm quite fond of it! It's a little more… polished and eloquent than most of my parodies because I originally was going to use it in a semi-serious story, but I've tweaked it a bit.

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I've never been about to figure out why Erestor throw a rather large book at my head. I do know that large books are not good things to throw. Particularly at people's heads. Practically at MY head. Here's the story…

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Various books in huge stacks, old, wooden bookcases, and parchment all over the places, and an occasional empty cup that one held warm tea—the ancient library couldn't be a better refuge for one content elf advisor. The library was out-of-the-way and generally quiet. Erestor was in a wonderful mood, and he decided now was a good time as any to attempt the horrible task he had been meaning to do for a while.

He was going to clean the library.

Which took the entire day.

Finally, he took numinous empty tea cups to the kitchen. As he pasted the door of Elrond's study, he heard a loud voice—yes, that was Glorfindel. He leaned closer to the door, but Glorfindel seemed to calm down. Erestor could hear no more, and he wished the door wasn't quite so thick. He put the cups in the kitchen and proceeded back to the study. Curiosity got the better of him—besides, he didn't want to attack that never-ending pile of parchment—and he knocked on the door.

After waiting for a moment, Elrond opened the door. The expression on his lord's face told Erestor that Elrond was not happy. Glorfindel was probably arguing about something pointless… again…

"Hello, my lord," Erestor said. "Do you know where Glorfindel is?"

"I don't know! He was complaining about how the curtains in the library clash with the tapestry. How crazy is that?"

The only word Erestor heard was "library". Without another word, he dashed back into his—I mean, THE library.

"My books!" Erestor exclaimed, horrorstricken, as he entered the library.

"They're not your books." Glorfindel shrugged. "I can just put them back when I'm finished with them."

"But… but…" Erestor looked around with wide eyes. "Why, you destroyed my library!"

It was true; books, parchment, quills, swords, and other objects lay around.

"I was only gone for ten minutes! You succeeded in destroying my library in ten minutes!" Erestor roared.

"I was looking for a book," Glorfindel innocently replied.

"Then why, pray tell, is there a sword in my library!"

"I always carry a sword; you know that."

"I hope you realize that I spent the entire day clean this library, and you destroyed it in ten minutes!"

"I am sorry, Erestor. I don't know why you're so upset."

Erestor gave up try to explain to Glorfindel the time and effort he put into cleaning the library.

"What is the matter, Erestor?" Elrond walked into the library, stifling a yawn. "Why are you up at this hour?"

"I was looking for a book, my lord," Glorfindel said after bowing extravagantly. Erestor longed the strangle him. "I do not know why Erestor is so upset."

"Can't we settle this in the morning?" Elrond asked.

"There is nothing to settle," Erestor said through clenched teeth. "Glorfindel, if you ever are 'looking for a book', please ask me before you destroy my, I mean, the library."

"Good night, Erestor. Good night, my lord." Glorfindel left the room, and Erestor was temped to throw something at him. Something sharp and pointy. Like a knife.

"Speaking of my library," Elrond said. "You really should clean it up someday. It's an absolute mess!"

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Well, did you like it? I think it's a nice piece. Erestor's a bit stuck up and Glorfy's a bit… careless, obviously, but the two traits complement each other well! They're so much fun!

Thank you for your time and please review!

Malara