Mini story idea after momentarily getting Lilly & Oliver from Hannah Montana with Lily & Marshall from How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM)—I was sleep deprived, sue me. So I thought what if Lilly & Oliver were like Lily and Marshall? So I did what I'd usually do and start making notes.

I want to make one thing clear ahead of time: this is Hannah Montana canon based off of a couple of HIMYM episodes. This is not me directly ripping off HIMYM, it's a Hannah Montana/Loliver story based on a particular episode of a different show. I say this now because in this scenario, Miley and Jackson alternate the Ted and Robin roles depending on the situation. For those of you who don't know, Ted and Robin were romantically involved. Jackson and Miley were not romantically involved, nor will they ever be considering they're brother and sister (Jackson and Hannah that one time was different because it was obviously fake). So I had to make adjustments to the episode to fit with Hannah Montana canon.

Because this story is also mostly flashback (like HIMYM itself), whenever Miley narrates-and you'll understand why she's the one narrating after the intro- the font will be bold (unlike my intro and conclusion which is bold italic). The regular story will be normal font and any flashbacks and fantasies in the regular story will be italicized.

Geez, I suck at explaining. Why don't I stop rambling now and get into the story?

Miley Montana's Blog: June 5, 2016

Hey ya'll, Miley here. Okay, the last few days have been so amazingly dramatic (and I'm not talkin' bout the time I was both me and Hannah Montana doin' that evil twin thing on the soap opera All My Generally Restless Lives). I just can not wait to tell you ev'rythin' that's happened, but I don't really know where to start.

But I guess it really started when my brother Jackson and I got into a(nother) fight. I don't really remember what we said, but whatever we said was one of the last things we said 'cause we hadn't said anythin' to each other since.

Okay, I hope I didn't confuse ya'll. Basically Jackson and I had a fight, we said some pretty hurtful things about the other person, and then we weren't speakin' to each other.

But this isn't really 'bout me and Jackson. This week was all about my best friends, Lilly and Oliver. If you follow my blog you know I have a separate section for posts 'bout my best friends/fav'rite couple. From things that happened with them before I started my Miley/Hannah blog, them movin' in together, Lilly goin' to college to become a teacher, Oliver's band hittin' it big, Lilly and Oliver breakin' up, Lilly and Oliver makin' up, the two of them gettin' engaged, Lilly gettin' that kindergarten teacher job, their weddin' (which I was maid of honor BTW), and then the biggest news of all: Lilly and Oliver were havin' a baby (my future godchild)! Now they don't know what they're havin' and all we really know is the baby's comin' 'round the first day of summer (Lilly's due date's June 22nd). Plus you know I got a few other mini things 'bout them I wrote, but of course nothin' compares with the baby news. I mean my longtime best friends are startin' a family together, can you believe it?

So anyway, Lilly and Oliver were like three weeks away from havin' their baby when they FINALLY had their baby shower on May 31st (which was a day when ev'ryone was pretty much available). I know if I close my eyes I can picture ev'rythin' in my head...

May 31st, 2016

Jackson Stewart rolled a stroller down the hall to Lilly and Oliver's apartment. A heavily pregnant Lilly answered the door. "Hey ya'll!" Jackson looked around at the remnants of a party in the living room, "Oops, am I a little late for the baby shower?"

"Yeah, like three hours late," Lilly stepped aside to give Jackson room to come in. "I get the feeling someone is trying to avoid his sister."

Jackson gave his trademark, "Pfft," that he used whenever he was obviously lying or trying to hide something. "Lilly, Lilly, Lilly, that is so not the reason. I was late 'cause I spent the last couple of hours readying the perfect gift fer my soon-to-be godchild," Jackson gestured to his gift. A stroller with blue lining and a red bow adorned atop it. Lilly then titled her head toward a very similar stroller with a bow in the corner, but with red lining instead of a blue. "Miley was here already wasn't she?"

Earlier

Miley entered Lilly and Oliver's apartment wheeling in her baby shower gift (a red-lined stroller with a bow atop). She let out a (fake) gasp as a pajama-clad Lilly struggled to keep her eyes open. "Oh no, am I early?"

Jackson bit his lip trying to think of what to say. "I see she got you the red stroller. Looks like I just blue her out of the water." He was the only one to laugh at his pun.

Oliver, meanwhile, was the only one straightening up the living room. "So I take it you and Miley are still fighting?"

"Yeah, and I'm sorry I didn't show up earlier, but I don't know if I'm ready to face Miley just yet—at least not in front of a buncha people."

"I totally get it," Lilly gestured for Oliver to help sit her on the couch. "This is like when my parents divorced. There's always a long period of fighting, but I'm okay with it as long as the expensive gifts keep coming." Jackson couldn't help but smile. "It'll be okay; you guys will work everything out, you always do."

"I know, but we said some pretty mean things to each other."

"Like what?"

Jackson did that 'pfft' thing again. "Like things I don't wish to repeat in front of my future godchild."

"You don't even remember do you?" Oliver deadpanned.

"I do not, no."

"Is there anything Oliver and I can do to help you guys patch everything up?" Lilly inquired.

"Something that hopefully doesn't require us putting in much physical effort," Oliver added. "We have to take it easy, we are in our last trimester after all."

Lilly quirked a brow at him. "We?" Oliver bit his lip and backed away.

"Thanks for the offer guys," Jackson thanked, "but we all know this is somethin' Miley and I need to work out together as brother and sister, with no help from anyone else."

…

As much as I love it whenever I'm right, I had to admit that this time Jackson was right. That's probably why I'm a little embarrassed about this next part...

"Daddy, do what it is you do to get yer kids to stop fightin'," Miley was practically begging.

Robby Ray wasn't really to keen on this idea. "Oh, all of a sudden my grown up, adult children're kids again who need Daddy to solve all their problems?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

Robby Ray lowered his head and 'tsked'. "Miley, Miley, Miley,"

"Daddy, aren't we a lil' old for the three Miley deal? I mean, isn't that a little childish?"

"I dunno; isn't havin' yer Daddy fightin' all your battles a little childish?"

Miley winced. "I shoulda known you would use that against me."

"Bud, I love ya, and I love yer brother, but I'm not gonna get involved."

"Can't you at least find some common ground for Jackson and I to fix everythin'?"

"Nope, this is all you and Jackson. Ya'll gotta find yer own place to work outcha yer differences…just so long as you don't do it at my house."

…

By the next day…or two, I still didn't have the guts to contact Jackson. I mean, it's gentlemen-like for the guy to make the first move (then again, Jackson's not your typical gentleman). I did, however, call Lilly for a BFF-Girl Chat at Rico's Bar and Grill.

(And honestly, how many businesses is that boy's billionaire daddy gonna keep buyin' him?)

Miley was watching Lilly scarf down a helping of extra cheesy nachos with slight disgust. "Hungry much?" Lilly nodded as she crunched and then shoved some more nachos in her mouth. "Maybe next time we have our BFF-Girl Chat we do it someplace without food."

Lilly swallowed. "I'm sorry Miley but I really needed this. Oliver's got me eating super healthy now and I miss my sweets and snacks," She chugged down water from her water bottle. "I love Oliver, and I love that we're having a baby, but the dude seriously needs to chill."

"Oh come on, he's not so bad. At least he's not one of them cheesy paranoid expectant fathers you see on them lame TV sitcoms."

"Well he wasn't until he flipped the wall calendar yesterday and realized it was June. He started freakin' out about the baby coming. It's like all of a sudden he hit a panic button and he thinks he's not ready."

"What?"

"I know! We learned all this stuff in that childcare class in April and now he's afraid he's just gonna forget everything. Since yesterday morning he's started what he calls his 'Papa Preparations'. He's been rereading all the books, watching some weird European breast-feeding documentaries, and when I woke up from my nap yesterday, he had swaddled me."

"He swaddled you?"

"Like a burrito! Ooh, speaking of which can you get me a burrito?"

"No," Lilly whined as she gave Miley the puppy dog pout. "Really Lilly, that might've worked when we were teenagers, but now-" Lilly sat back and pointed to her large bump all the while whining and puppy dog pouting. "Okay, fine, I'll get you a burrito."

Lilly clapped her hands in delight. Not too long after, Miley returned with a burrito. "YUM!" which Lilly promptly began devouring.

"So the whole swaddlin' thing's a lil' messed up, but I don't really see a downside to bein' covered in a cozy blanket while I sleep. I'm sure you were a comfy burrito."

Lilly made some kind of noise of agreement before swallowing her burrito. "Okay, yeah, it was one of the best sleeps I've had. I give him credit for the swaddling, but I still think it's weird that he did that to me."

"He means well."

"I didn't tell you the worst part."

"There's a worst part?"

"Remember back in middle school when he worked with 'Saint' Sarah on that one particular assignment?"

"Oh no, don't tell me he brought back the flour sack child."

"Not exactly."

Earlier

Oliver and Lilly were in bed around two in the morning when an obnoxiously loud alarm woke them from their sleep. "What's going on? Are we under attack or something?" While her husband got out of bed, Lilly realized she had been swaddled in her blanket (again) and put up a brief struggle with said blanket before getting out of bed and joining Oliver in the nursery. "Oliver what's going on?"

"I rigged an alarm to go off every three hours," he casually explained.

"You did what now?"

"I'm training myself for the sporadic sleep patterns of early parenthood."

"Oliver-"

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have a practice baby to soothe."

"Oh God, not another flour sack child."

"Flour sack child?" Oliver scoffed. "Please Lilly, that is so junior high." Oliver scooped up a large watermelon with a hat on from the baby's crib and began talking baby talk to it.

"Okay yeah, that's a lil' disturbin'," Miley agreed. "You have got to tell Oliver to chill out."

"Do I?" Lilly raised her eyebrow as if she was hinting something.

"Alright fine, you tell Oliver to cool his jets and I'll try and make amends with Jackson."

"Deal; but can we do it tomorrow morning?"

"One more swaddle?"

"It's just so comfortable."

…

When Lilly came home, Oliver was standing in the center of the living room cradling the watermelon baby- who was not only wearing a hat, but also a diaper. "Oh look baby," Oliver was talking to the watermelon, "Mommy's back from the bar."

"And grill," Lilly sassily added.

"Well now I can take my shower," he passed the watermelon to Lilly.

"Why does this diaper smell?" As Oliver began to talk, she cut him off. "You know what, I don't want to know." She threw the watermelon aside. "Oliver, sit down we need to talk." She gestured for him to help her sit down (which he did before joining her on the couch). "Look, I know you mean well, but we've got three weeks until the baby comes."

"More like twenty days!"

"Can't we use this time just to relax? We know how all this stuff works and if we forgot, then we'll figure it out after the baby comes."

"After the baby comes?"

"Yeah, we'll learn on the job."

Oliver gasped. "Learn on the job?"

"What better way to learn than learn from experience?"

"Maybe the crisis here isn't that I'm not ready to be dad, it's that you're not ready to be a mom."

Lilly shot him an 'oh no you didn't' type look. "Excuse me?"

So now there was a new argument, this time between Lilly & Oliver. I know this 'cause an angry Lilly came over to my place last night. Being the nice person that I am, I called Oliver to let her know she was with me and tried to get some info out of him about the fight. The details of said fight are still unclear. It's kinda a he-said/she-said thing right now. Like Oliver swears he never said…

"I feel like I'm the only one making sacrifices for this baby! It's like you don't even know that you're pregnant."

...and Lilly insists she didn't say…

"Babies are not that hard to take care of. You just watch them be cute and feed 'em spaghetti."

...but they both agree that this is how the argument ends

"Oliver, what I need is some peace, some quiet, and—now that it's out there—some spaghetti! Now please help me off the couch so I can storm out!" Oliver did just that as Lilly angrily waddled out of their apartment.

So after a quick spaghetti dinner at my place, Oliver and Lilly did make up and go back home. Lilly even told him 'bout some 'Baby Boot Camp' seminar at some hotel in Carson City and suggested they go.

"This is gonna be great," an excited Oliver was putting a car seat in the back of their car. "I mean, you know at this seminar there's gonna be that one guy who claims he's 'Mr. Parenting Expert' and keeps interrupting everybody with his own 'important facts'...and you are going to be sitting next to him. And by him, I mean me."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that one out," Lilly rolled her eyes when Oliver wasn't looking. "And as much fun as that sounds I think we should hold off with that kind of talk until we get to the hotel."

"Well that'll be a boring car ride."

"You won't notice when you sleep through it."

"Come again?"

"Face it Ollie-Pop, you haven't really been getting any sleep and the last thing you need is to be driving all day. Why don't you get some sleep and I'll drive."

"I know I shouldn't let you drive, but you're right Lilly-Pop. I am a little tired," Oliver let out a massive yawn as he entered the passenger side. "The last thing we need is for me to get behind the wheel and-" Oliver didn't complete his thought because the moment he sat down, he started snoring.

Of course Oliver was pretty excited 'bout this. But there was one thing Lilly might've forgot to mention...

Oliver smiled as he began regaining consciousness. "Hmm, Lilly-Pop you smell like apples." He began to stir but still didn't open his eyes. "I can't wait til we get to our hotel room, get on the bed and-"

"Whoa, whoa!" this was not Lilly's voice. "Let's keep it family-friendly here."

Now Oliver's eyes were open. "Rico?" Rico smirked at him before reaching for something in the glove compartment. "Rico, what is going on? Where is Lilly? And-" Oliver let out a high pitched scream when he noticed what Rico was snacking on. "-what did you do to the practice baby?" Oliver paused. "And is there any left?"

Rico handed Oliver a melon slice. "Relax Chucklehead; this was all Lilly's idea. She was worried about ya and thought you needed to unwind."

"And you're here because?"

"Because I'm taking you to Vegas, baby!"

Oliver blinked in confusion. "Right, and you're here because?"

Rico sighed. "Because your wife is very persuasive okay!"

Earlier

"Rico," Lilly waddled up to the counter at Rico's Surf Shop (Rico's daytime business), "can you do me a big favor?"

"I don't do charity," Rico refused.

"It's not charity. I need you to drive Oliver to Vegas for the weekend." Rico made a noise of suspicion. "Nothing's going on; I just think a fun little weekend with the guys will do him some good."

"So why isn't Jackson going?"

"Because you got me workin' a double shift this weekend," Jackson lamented as he lugged in more heavy supplies. "And no, don't help me carry all this stuff."

"I wasn't going to."

"I didn't want to invite Jackson," Lilly told him. "I figured Jackson could use this time to make up with Miley."

"So you want me to take your husband to Vegas?" Lilly nodded. "What's in it for me?"

"Rico, you know I don't have anything to offer."

"Then no deal. And that whiny puppy dog pout ain't gonna work on me Toots!" Lilly tried it anyway. "Not gonna happen!" She whined, pointed, and pointed to her distended stomach. "Are you pimping out your kid for your own selfish needs?" That got Lilly to stop. "Told you it wouldn't work."

"I guess you're right. It's not like I'm an emotional, hormonal wreck and can easily bring on the tears."

Rico's eyes widened. "You wouldn't?"

"I don't see why me bursting out into tears crying about how my husband's boss, one Rico of Rico's Surf Shop, can't let him go on a vacation he's been planning to take before the birth of his first child—a birth he may miss because his boss won't give him a day off."

"You're bluffing!"

"Am I?"

"Besides, I told him he could take the week off when you do give birth."

"But who are your paying customers gonna believe? The mean, spoiled little man who runs the restaurant, or the sad, blubbering mess of a pregnant lady?"

Rico huffed at her. "Well played Lillian; I must say, you've impressed me."

"So you'll do it?"

"If I do, I'm gonna dock him three days' pay."

"I guess I'll be cool with that if you make me cookies too."

"Deal," they shook on it.

Oliver was still in disbelief. "So there's no Baby Boot Camp at the Paramis Waldorf in Carson City?" Rico shook his head. "There is no Paramis Waldorf is there?"

Another head shake. "Nope."

"I bet there's not even a Carson City!"

"And I bet you failed geography class."

"Oh man, I'm so mad at Lilly right now!"

"She figured you would be," Rico reached in the back seat. "So she told me to give you this," he handed Oliver a t-shirt.

"Aww," he held up the Radiohead Sucks t-shirt, "it's my 'mad at Lilly' shirt. Whenever I wear it, it drives her crazy." Oliver made an evil face. "I hope she's miserable without me."

As this was going on with Rico and Oliver, a very happy Lilly was resting comfortably on the couch with her feet up and pigging out on cookies.

Once they made it to Vegas, Rico and Oliver were at a craps table engaged in conversation. "I guess I have been going a tad overboard with my 'Papa Preparations', huh?" Oliver inquired.

"Dude, you diapered a watermelon," Rico reminded.

"Okay, maybe I did go a little crazy."

"Yeah, but the good kind of crazy." Rico noticed Oliver take out his phone. "Whoa, hey, what are you doing?"

"I was gonna call and check in on Lilly."

"Uh, no. The whole point of me dragging you to Vegas against your will was to give your wife some peace and quiet while giving you a nice little vacation at the same time. Besides, don't people usually go on vacation to escape their current lives?"

"Yeah, well I like my current life. I'm married to my best friend and we're gonna have a baby. How cool is that?"

"Not as cool as winning a fortune in Las Vegas." Oliver ignored him and went back to his phone. "Can you at least turn off your phone for an hour?"

"I dunno. What if-"

Rico pulled something out of his shirt pocket. That something was a tie decorated with rubber ducks. "Do you see this hideous ducky tie?" Oliver nodded. "I was planning on getting you super drunk so I could put this on you for humiliating, blackmail purposes."

"As you do."

"But if you give me one full hour without phones where you get super drunk, then I, RICO, will wear this god-awful excuse for an accessory."

"Okay, but why do I need to get drunk?"

"Because you're hilarious when you get drunk and become 'Beercules'."

"I thought we agreed never to speak of that again."

"Agree to my deal and we won't."

"Promise you won't film me if I get drunk?"

Rico expressed his disappointment. "Aww."

"Rico!"

"Okay, fine." Oliver handed Rico his phone, Rico put on the embarrassing tie, and then he flagged down the waitress. "'Scuse me Toots," he slid her a $100 bill. "I'd like 100 shots of Tequila for my friend here and your finest cherry coke." Oliver gave him a strange look. "I may be a gorgeous, rich, evil twenty year old, but I still respect the law."

...

So while all this was goin' on with Rico and Oliver, I was still bummin' over me not bein' brave enough to make amends with my brother. So after spendin' some time by myself, I decided to pay Lilly a visit.

And as I got to her apartment, who should pull up but...

"Jackson?" Miley was surprised to see her brother park his car in front of Lilly and Oliver's apartment.

"Miles?"

"Jackson, I'm kinda glad I ran into you. I've been tryin' to find the guts to tell ya that we need to talk."

"I agree witcha Miles, but I don't think now's a good time."

"Why not?"

...

"Well, it's been an hour my drunken friend," Rico handed an inebriated Oliver his phone back. "A deal's a deal." When Oliver took his phone, he tried to put it in his mouth. "No, no, don't do that." He noticed the notifications on Oliver's phone. "Looks like your wife's been trying to call you." Rico then looked at his phone. "Huh, she tried calling me too; I got 17 missed calls and a couple of voicemails from her. Listen, you go back to your game and I'll see what your Mrs. wants." Rico stepped aside to listen to his first voicemail.

"Rico, it's Lilly," Lilly's voice was obviously trying to stay calm. "So funny story, I'm kinda, sorta in labor and I need you and Oliver to get back to Malibu right away."

Rico's jaw nearly hit the floor. He quickly glanced over to a drunken Oliver throwing chips around the table shouting, 'ALL HAIL BEERCULES!' before uttering, "Uh-oh."

Yep, Lilly's in labor! Apparently she started havin' contractions 'round the time Rico and Oliver turned their phones off. So Lilly was leavin' messages that started out calm...

"Hey Ollie-Pop, it's Lilly-Pop. I uh...I think I'm in labor."

...then she left those messages where she was tryin' to stay cool, but you could tell somethin' was wrong.

"Ollie-Pop, where are you? Please call me."

...then she got a tad more frantic...

"Okay Oliver this is the real deal and you really need you to call me back right now."

...and finally, our sweet little Lilly unleashed the Krakken.

"Oliver Oscar Oken, if you're trying to get back at me you have chosen a WILDLY inappropriate way of doing so!"

And during this time, her Ollie-Pop went from somewhat drunk...

Oliver was struggling to sit up, the effects of ten tequila shots. "Rico man, we should do this every weekend!"

...to 'Beercules'

"Bro, bro," Oliver was slurring his words while an amused Rico was resisting the urge to pull out his camera, "my friend Rico here is the manager of the Paramis Waldorf. You come to the Paramis we will hook you up!"

"We'll even give you a discount if you mention 'Beercules'," Rico jokingly added.

Yeah, my best girl friend was 'bout to give birth and none of us could get a hold of her baby daddy. And the only ones who were able to be with Lilly were me and the brother I wasn't talkin' to.

When I made a list of things I wanted to do on a Friday night, this was obviously NOT on it. But Lilly needed me and I had to suck it up for her sake.

And boy howdy were we in fer one heckuva night.

to be continued...

That seemed kinda long-ish didn't it? I'm pretty sure the next one will be longer.

Anywho, this chapter was based on the Marshall-Lily subplot of HIMYM season 7 episode 22- 'Good Crazy'. The next one is obviously going to be based on the episode that followed it, 'The Magician's Code' part 1. There's also a reference to Hannah Montana season 1 episode 21 'My Boyfriend's Jackson and There's Gonna Be Trouble'.

Okay, if I'm being honest, I'm not sure how long this story will be. I know it's going to be at least two chapters. But I don't know if I'll have to split it into 3 chapters in case I feel there's way too much for the second chapter. I dunno, I kinda wanted to feature some other stuff. but I'm still debating on how long this will be.

So? Good? Bad? Did it make you want a burrito? Any feedback is welcome.