A/N: Clannad, Kanon, and the BBC... I don't own any of them, obviously. Moving on...
KIM JONG-IL DISMANTLES NUCLEAR MISSILE PROGRAM
Celebrations may be short-lived as fears surface regarding other possible threats.
BBC – 21 June 2011
North Korean leader Kim Jong-il has announced today that he is officially dismantling all nuclear weapons manufacturing capabilities in his country. Kim Jong-il further stated that he chose to make his announcement this day of the Summer Solstice in honour of South Korea's Sunshine policy.
When asked as to why he had changed his stance on a nuclear programme, Kim Jong-il stated that he was 'tired of the other whiny-bitch world leaders always making a fuss for no reason.' In addition, it is rumoured that Kim Jong-il was moved by a recent visit by former US President Jimmy Carter – whom has been professing the need for food aid in the impoverished nation.
North Korea will begin selling off their weapons-grade uranium for food to whichever nations will 'reasonably use it wisely'. No reports have been made as to whom these other nations might be.
As an olive branch, Kim Jong-il had requested the employment of two Japanese nationals to be his Ministers of Food-aid. Reports are that Mrs. Furukawa Sanae and Ms. Minase Akiko came 'highly recommended' to Kim Jong-il due to their 'particular expertise in their field.'
While this has been going on, experts claim that North Korea may not entirely be done with weapons production after all. Images from various spy satellites have shown bizarre rainbow-pattern glows and bright yellow flashes of light emanating from once-dormant factories. Speculation runs high, but no concrete evidence of wrongdoing has been put forth.
Requests for comments from North Korean leaders have been met with silence. Experts fear we may not have heard the last of North Korean aggression.