I was told it would be cool if I did an actually story on my song fic Feel Like A Monster. And so I thought maybe just a short little story couldn't hurt anything. So here it is. The Monster is Me. Like I say at the end, it is supposed to be repetative. Ichigo is insane. Or at least in this one he's right at the edge. Like the person on the thirty-foot diving board looking over an empty pool and is still thinking about jumping. THAT kind of insane.

Disclaimer: I don't own crap.

This isn't fair.

But considering that I have to deal with a psychotic hollow inside my head I shouldn't be surprised.

I don't want my friends to see what Hichigo is turning me into.

They would see him and what he has always been dreaming of.

Rukia would die. He dreams of testing Zangetsu's blade in her flesh. How many times I've seen the black metal cut through her middle I couldn't count. But the times I've thrown up over it I could. At least five times so far. I keep telling my dad its stomach flu.

Chad is beaten senseless. Bare-handed Hichigo is hitting him. Other times he has a metal staff. And so much blood. Whenever he strikes blood is everywhere. I scream for Chad to fight back. He never does.

Uryuu always ends up as some kind of freak sewing craft. Using blunt needles, Hichigo sews seems and buttons and lace and anything he thinks up is pulled through or added to his little doll.

Orihime I don't want to talk about. If I could just get inside that place again so I could kill him I would do it. She doesn't deserve what he does to her…Oh God Orihime…I hope she never has to face this monster…

Of all the things I've faced as a shinigami, I think the most evil thing I've fought is myself. I want to protect my friends. He wants to torture them; to hurt them. And more than that he wants to hurt me.

What would they do if they knew what he was? If they knew what I might become. Or maybe who I already was. He was so much like me. He knew everything I wanted. Knew everything I feared. And he would use them all against me.

I'm a host for a monster. He is the monster and so the monster is me. I, Ichigo Kurosaki, am the monster. But I don't want to be. Does that make any sense? Does it even have to at this point?

They'd kill me. No matter what, they would kill me. I could save the Shinigami King and they would still kill me. Because that is what he'd do to them. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Murder me. Please, murder me.

Do it to me before he can do it to you.

They started to question why I didn't come see them anymore. I think the only ones who might've had a clue what was going on were Hiyori and the other vizards. They know. They know everything too.

So angry. So damn tired of him all the time. He hates me. And I hate him. Not much of a happy family. A family in my head. Zangetsu and Hichigo. And then there is me.

And he taunts me. He reminds me of Gin. Gin Ichimaru. Their smiles are so much alike. I hate it. I hate that damn smile. And I hate that face. And that face is mine too. Damn it.

I hate the monster. He is the monster. I am him. So the monster is me. All along. Just me. Just me.

It's all me.

I know some parts are repetitive, but that is how it's supposed to be. I'm not speaking from a sane person's point of view. I want him to be mad. I want him to be completely mad. That is my kind of insanity. Cause if you're going to do something, do it completely.