We'd like to dedicate this crack!fic to the hamstersofmidgard, ask-thor-godofthunder and archerinthesky on tumblr. I decided to come off of anon to write all this cracky drabbles formulated from your blogs. Keep up the good RPs guys.
We hope this disturbs you as much as it disturbs us.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers, they belong to Marvel *insert witty banter here*
WARNING:
SUGGESTIVE SEXUAL CONTENT. NO BEASTALITY.
BUT IT ALMOST SUGGESTS IT. ALMOST.
THIS IS CRACK BY THE WAY. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.
AKA IF YOU DON'T WANT TO MUCK UP YOUR BRAIN DO NOT READ
ALSO MY GRAMMAR SUCKS. DEAL WITH IT.
FINAL WARNING: DO NOT READ IF YOU WANT TO SCAR YOUR BRAIN IN ANYWAY
NOT FOR THE KIDDIES.
Chapter 1: Let's see what the Hawk brang in!
Clint moaned loudly as the mass of hamsters crawled across his sensitive chest. They had to do this quickly as possible before the rest of the Avengers got back from their doughnut run.
"Urrggh…hamsters. I can't do this," Clint whispered hoarsely, "especially not to 'Tasha."
He could feel a thick fluffy mass press against his cheek. With that simple gesture, his body went wild. He could feel a burning dire running through his bones engulfing him in pleasure not known before this chance encounter with the hamsters.
"I guess…that me- t-that means you won't stop, eh?"
In response, a single hamster came into Clint's view. Clint gasped in small short breathes. The air around him started to get thick and heavy.
Damn those pesky hamsters and their soft fluffy fur, he thought
It was getting him thinking thoughts that were stored in the back of his darkest corners of his mind.
Nearer, and nearer, the hamster closed in until its tiny little head was level with Clint's face. Its beady little eyes glazed over in lust of the mewling human that laid beneath it.
"You are ours now, Hawk eye," the fluffy hamster squeaked in a low husky voice.
The hamster pawed ever so slowly and ever so teasingly at the side of Clint's face. He could feel the hair's stand at the back of his neck as the hamster continued its ministrations. Sweat beads formed on the brow of the archer.
I can't take anymore of this, Clint thought. I need release.
"Please…" Clint groaned.
"Please what?"
The hamster grinned mockingly revealing its two lovely hamster incisors.
"Finish me off," Clint growled.
The hamster stood up on its hind legs. It cocked its head to the side. Its beady little eyes expecting to add something to that response.
Clint growled in frustration.
"Please, finish me off?"
"You're learning now, Clint," the hamster squeaked approvingly.
The hamster scuttled lower down to where its paws were touching the Avenger's parted lips.
"You want me to finish you off? Beg for it."
Clint licked his dry chapped his lips and stared intensely into the animal's dark eyes.
"I want you. No…I need you. I need you to finish me off."
The hamster smirked.
"As you wish, dearest Hawk eye."
Suddenly, Clint's jaw unhinged like a snake. The little hamster happily slid down his esophagus and came out his ear. Clint shivered at the pleasant motion. Intending to follow the suit of the first, the other hamsters lined up like little children waiting for a turn on the slide at the playground. Each of them was quite eager to be stuffed down Clint's tight hole.
However, as the last hamster slid down his throat, he swore he saw a flash of blonde hair momentarily by the doorway.
In the distance, a great rumbling of thunder could be heard.
THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING. THIS IS THE FIRST OF MANY. MORE WILL BE COMING.
(THOR IS UP NEXT BY THE WAY)