yosh! my second story for Star Ocean...not.
like I just wrote up there, this is the second, if you want to read this, please read the prequel to this story which is "The Exchange Student"
s/10271136/1/The-Exchange-Student
there is the link up there.
why you should read it before reading this one? since it'd make you get the feels better. yes. THE FEELS.
okay, you shall start reading~
Faize steps out from the plane. Gazing out to the sky as he reaches the ground of his beloved planet, Eldar.
My nightmare is going to start again.
He sees people around him; none of those that attend his safely landing attracts his attention. Not that he normally pays attention to who's around him.
"welcome back, Faize," said a bald man with a big smile.
"thank you," replies Faize.
Faize walks to the conference room, standing on the lectern and starts his speech.
He now has to go through the procedure, after the long and tiring flight, he has to go to the conference room and talks all day long about his experience on Earth. Giving the older Eldarians a rough sketch of how life is on Earth. Faize doesn't like this particular procedure; he admits that he never liked it. He learned it from the seniors, and other exchange program students that's been to other planets, Eldarians are greedy, they're nothing but a being that wants to be the best no matter what methods they have to do. They will look down to those that are less than them, and they will take everything they can from those that are more than them. And according to the Eldarians' standard, Earth is way less than them in everything they have, the older Eldarians would laugh at anything he'd say about Earth, no matter how good they might be, and the idea of the home of his beloved person being mocked makes him hates his people more than he already does.
What Edge call greedy is not more than a normal thing everyone shows here on Eldar, those Earthlings that he might call bastards or assholes are nothing more than Eldarians' elders. Eldar is way worse than Earth, Earth is fine, Earth is awesome, Earth is amazing, Earthlings have senses, they are not immoral, and Faize loves it.
Faize might have been infused with the wrong ideals of what a person should be since he was born, but he still has his grounds, he isn't blind to the line between right and wrong. And he wants other Eldarians to see what he sees, to actually think before they judge. For Faize, there's no way they could do that.
Broken Eldarian can never be fixed. Broken Eldarian would always be broken. Broken Eldarian will never be happy. Broken Eldarian is broken.
Seriously, why won't they realise that they're not happy? Why wouldn't you take an example of what 'happy' is from other beings?
"…and with that, I'm finished," Faize bows.
He's fed up with all this laughter and snickers form the Elders, he wants to go to Earth, he wants to so badly, but Edge now hates him, so there really is no excuse whatsoever for him to go back even for a visit. If Edge said something after his confession, maybe things would be a little bit different. If his feelings didn't get discovered by Edge's dad before Edge himself, maybe things would be a little bit different. If he didn't fall for Edge…maybe things would be a little bit different.
Faize is released from the elders' crowed, now he can put off that fake smile he had for the past 4 hours. He still has to go to other conference with the elders after this, but he gets an hour to rest himself first.
"…it's 12 am, on Earth, I would be having my lunch with Edge right now…" Faize mumbles.
Faize walks out from the conference room down the aisle, when suddenly some people approach him.
"so Faize, what about a little bashing?" says one of them.
"we've been very bored for the last one month," says another one.
They are what people would call 'bullies'. They drag Faize to a dark aisle.
"Bully? No I'm not a bully. I don't feel superior against other people. Why would I feel superior against a complete stranger? Only judging that person based on what I see. Really? I mean, the person I'd bully could be better than me in every way I don't know."
"do you feel that you're more superior than me?" asks Faize.
"huh?"
"do you think I'm more inferior than you?"
"what are you talking about?!" one of them pins Faize on the wall.
"don't you think I could be better than you in every way you don't know?"
"the hell, you kid!" that person punches Faize.
If I don't fight now, I'll never be able to get out of this fictional cage.
"is that why you always beat me up?"
"you're damned, kid!" he slams Faize onto the floor.
Faize staggers and finally able to stand again, "I'm fighting you back, I won't be silent like I've always been."
Just then some of the people locks Faize's hands behind him and a person opened his clothes forcefully.
"you're gonna regret standing up for yourself," says the person.
Faize closes his eyes, listening to the steps that are getting closer and closer.
He opens his eyes, "oh no I won't, you will."
The person in front of him slaps him and pulls his hair.
They're here.
"AAGH!" Faize screams.
"who's there?!" the person that was walking by came up to them.
The bullies runs away.
The person looks concerned, "are you okay?"
Faize fixes his clothes which now can't be zipped and buttoned anymore since it's torn, "don't worry I'm okay, thanks for coming anyway."
The person widens his eyes, "aren't you the exchange student that's supposed to go to the conference room in 45 minutes?"
"yes I am," Faize smiles.
"then what are you doing here?"
"oh? Can't I have some rest before the next 4 hours meddling with the elders?" then he walks away.
"you were almost raped! Is that what you call 'rest'?" asks the person.
Faize stops and turns around, "of course not, who wants to be raped? I was walking alone and they came up to me, can't you see?"
"sorry…"
It's 1 o'clock, Faize opens the conference room's door. Everyone looks concerned looking at him, but some with disgust.
Did that guy tell them all?
It's not my fault that I was almost involved in a disgusting activity.
One of the elders come up to him, "are you okay, Faize?"
"what's wrong? Of course I'm okay," says Faize with a smile.
The elder looks down then continue to face Faize, "we heard you almost got raped…?"
"no sir, come on, even if I did, I don't want to talk about this, this is within my private life, okay?" says Faize.
The elder backs away. Faize could hear him muttering, "how dare someone put their hands on my precious Faize before myself?!"
Disgusting.
Edge, I want to go back to Earth, be by your side and surrounded by other Earthlings…not here…Edge…it's disgusting…
Faize lies down on his bed. The day went smoothly but disgustingly for him. Those pedophiles looked at him like they'd chomp him anytime and those ladies looked at him like he's a piece of trash, but he was still treated nicely, since he's the one to discover one more civilization that's less than them, or so they said.
As much as he doesn't want to be there, nothing can change it.
He's back on Eldar.
He's back in his home.
He's back with his family.
And he doesn't want any of that.
He prefers to be at the place where he knows no one, and where no one knows him. He wants to be alone. He wants to start from square one again, from the pure white paper he was. He wants to go back to his childhood, way back to when he was a baby, or probably to when he was still non-existent. He wants to be born again, to a new family that at least will appreciate his existence. That new family doesn't have to be rich; it doesn't have to be from an advanced civilization, he just wants a family full of love, a family where his achievements would be seen and appreciated.
He wants to start again.
"Faize!" someone yells from downstairs.
Faize quickly stands up, runs to his door and opens it, and runs downstairs. He finds his mum looking angry.
Faize looks down, "yes, Mother?"
"tell me what kind of news is this?" she shoved a paper onto Faize's head.
He grabs the paper, reads it carefully.
…Seriously?
'The Exchange Student of This Year was Raped at His Landing Day after His Speech'
Are you kidding me…I wasn't even raped.
"now tell me, young man," his mother sits down, grabbing a vase with her left hand.
"this is nonsense, Mother," Faize carefully answers his mother.
She taps her fingers on the table, "what do you mean it's nonsense?"
"I was not raped, Mother. This is wrong," says Faize.
"LIAR!" she threw the vase that she was holding to Faize.
He didn't flinch. Even with the dripping blood and water on his face, he's used to it.
"why are you lying to me?!" she gets up.
"I am not lying, Mother."
She pulls his hair, "where did you learn to be such a good liar?"
"I am not lying, Mother."
She threw him on the ground, "did you learnt it from your father?!"
"no, Mother. I am not lying, Mother."
She pulls her own hair and drops down crying, "why are you males really like to lie to me?!"
"I am not lying, Mother."
"what did I ever do wrong to you?! Why are you lying to me?!" she screams.
"I am not lying, Mother."
"shut it, you ungrateful child!" she stands up. "I did not bring you up to be such a child!"
She slaps Faize for a few times, then she stands up and walks away, "you better not lie to me ever again!"
"I am not lying, Mother."
This is why I don't want to go back.
It's been two days since Faize's back on Eldar, he has to go to school again. He will see the people that made his reputation lower than it already has. He will see the people that make those elders open their cards. He will see the people that made those ladies stare down at him. He will see the people that made his relationship with his mother a mess again.
But he doesn't want to. Meeting those bullies again mean hell, but not going to school would make his house a hell too. He doesn't want to go anywhere; he doesn't want to be anywhere. He wants to disappear.
His only source of happiness is far away in the other galaxy and he already rejected him.
Now what would be his only source of happiness?
His grades? No.
The praises he got for the higher-ups? No.
He walks out quietly from his house with a scarf that covers his face. Walking down the aisle without his usual aerial skateboard, he doesn't want to be noticed, not after that news.
It was only hours after the incident, and it already been printed as a news that the whole planet has to know, and it didn't even happened.
He looks at the field on his left, the big field that's used as planes' parking lot and several experiments.
What if I just get one of the plane and fly to Earth, then begs Edge to be my friend again and swears to never cross the line anymore?
Faize smiles at his own imagination. Edge's face is still fresh in his mind, his silly looking face, and his expression whenever Reimi gets close to Faize, everything, every single one. It was only yesterday that they parted.
But what if Edge doesn't want to be my friend again?
Then…if so…
What if I fly the plane and crash it with a meteorite then disappear like that?
No one would miss me if I were gone anyway.
After all those commotions Father and Mother made, they decided to call it took Lymle away, the one that was hurt the most.
Faize's parents have been fighting all the time when they were together, at first, it was because of something reasonable, but it continues on until they fight because of something unreasonable, anything, everything became the trigger.
Faize's happier now that they have split up, but his mother's condition isn't improving ever since his father left. He hears that his father is living with a new wife and is living happily, oh how he wishes that'd happened to him too.
Lymle…I wonder how you're doing, your brother here is hurting, but I don't want you to know, you have to be happy, Lymle, if Father is making you unhappy, then run away, I'll cover for you.
Just if you could hear me…
None in this world matters to me anymore, Lymle is happy with Father, Mother cannot be helped anymore, and Edge is…far away, and I will never be able to reach him.
So…
Should I try it?
Faize opens the door, the entire class looking at him, some snickers. He accepts this; none of these were new to him. All the snickers and glances and everything they are going to do to him already been predicted by him.
The people that pulled him to the dark aisle would bully him again.
His classmates would talk about him.
They all will backbite him again.
Just like always.
Nothing new.
He sits on his spot, the one that sits beside him the other day is not there, he moved. Faize knows this will happen, but it still hurts.
"hey, why did you move?" someone asks that person.
"oh come one, who the hell wants to sit beside him?" that person answers.
"oh right."
"exactly, I don't want to catch his disease, I don't want to be raped after him."
And they laugh.
Faize knows this will happen, he knows.
Faize still has the hope that Edge would miraculously come and save him, take him away from this world he's living in. He would literally do anything for it to happen, even if it requires him to lose his limbs, as long as Edge would still accepts him.
He thought that the pain he got from his friends and family can't be worse. He has never been so wrong.
Faize admits it, he doesn't have a friend excepts Edge, he called his classmates out of childhood habit of calling someone a 'friend' is he's been around them for more that two days. And that's one of the reasons he wants Edge to forgive him.
Faize would do anything to take back that few words, he would.
He would do anything to redo that moment, he would.
But he doesn't know how, he only knows how to fly a plane, nothing more. His exceptional skills can't be used to turn back time and the advances Eldarian civilization doesn't have a way to turn back time, or to visit the old times.
Faize would trade anything to meet Edge, he would.
Lunchtime, Faize walks to the balcony, looking at the bright sky makes him remembers the old time when his family was one. The one happy moment that was destroyed by his father's affair.
Just how smart can he really be?
But the thought of his father left them with Lymle never really bothered him; it's just that his mother still suffers from it, and it looks like she still needs years to overcome it. And what resulted from his mother's suffering is his own suffering; he's the only one to receive whatever his mother is going to hit him with. Not that he cares.
The one and only thing that he still cares about in his world is Lymle's well being, he'd constantly monitor how she's doing in her new household, trying hard not to be noticed by the cute little girl. Though really, it's not new anymore. The divorce was when Faize was 12, which means, Lymle was 6, that poor girl.
Lymle was his only reason to be alive, protecting her means everything, and he doesn't want her to know anything about the two years before the divorce, how wrecked their parents' marriage was, and how violent they were.
So he protected him, he doesn't want her to witness anything, he doesn't. That's why, when Lymle left with his father, he swore to do anything for her happiness.
He didn't and doesn't care of his own well being, nor does he care about his happiness that'll never come.
He's used to being hurt.
He's used to being ignored.
He's used to being alone.
But he doesn't like to be lonely.
Still, he wished time would roll itself back and give him his happiness back.
It's been months since his trip to Earth, and he's here sitting down, looking at the screen in front of him, shocked to see the news he sees.
He was bored and tired to hear every single groan and scream from downstairs, he then opened his what would Earthlings say a very high-tech computer. He looked for nothing but news about Earth, there he found Edge's photo. He was going to save it when he saw the heading under it.
The rising star of today's youth, Edge Maverick, graduated years before he should be.
Faize doesn't know what he should do, be happy of his beloved achievement or be sad because no matter how hard he'd try to be next year's Exchange Student, he won't meet Edge.
It's been long since he felt this shocked by something that hurts him, he couldn't do a better reaction than shakes his head in disbelieve and cry. Just when he found his only guide and the one that gives him direction, he lost him.
Faize snaps back into reality when his mother calls him which he answers with him running as fast as he can down to her.
"yes Mother," says Faize when he sees her.
"oh my lovely little flower, why are you crying, my dear?" says his mother, wiping away his tears.
"…Mother…" mumbles Faize in disbelief. He never thinks that his mother could be this kind ever again.
"my lovely son, what happened?" she asks again.
"…it's complicated, Mother," answers Faize carefully.
She hugs him, "please, you can tell Mother everything, don't burden yourself with everything…"
Faize can feel his mother's warmth again, this is the least nice thing he dared to dream of, "Mother…"
"yes, dear?"
"I should probably give up…"
"on what, dear?"
"on something that I'd be a burden of," answers Faize, hugging her back.
Faize thinks that's for the best, he shamefully accepts that he thought it'd be better for him that Edge would never actually graduates. Since he can only see him through the Exchange Program, no one is allowed to fly the plane if he's not a government's pilot.
And his mother's recovery is actually possible if she'd work on it unconsciously with him.
This warmth of hers that I longed for so long…I want her to return back to the normal Mother.
I love Edge more than anything and I'd do anything for him but it'd be a lie if I say I love him more than I love Mother.
I love them, I want them, but I am a normal being, I can't succeed in both loves at the same time though different forms.
I should pick one and work on it, give it everything I have,
They are both matters to me still, they could get the most of life from this decision, and I won't hurt more as I have already been.
Yeah, I should give him up and not think of him ever again.
This…is for the best, indeed.
I selfishly love him, I selfishly run away and I selfishly let him go.
thank you for those that read "The Exchange Student" before reading this, it actually makes the feels more like...feels.
you know, I kinda am hypocritical, I told my friend I'd kill her for writing such epic fanfictions that ends so...sadly.
and here I am, not knowing how to write a happy ending.
(does this not count as happy? his mother partially come back to reality, you know)
and yes, the sequel ends here. tell me what you think.
should I leave Edge and Faize like this or should I make the sequel of the sequel?
- Nakaness