Interactions with a cop
"… Alright, let's call it a day. Now hurry back to the university dorms and get some sleep."
"Okay, will do. As always, thanks for your help and sorry for keeping you up so late. I'll see you tomorrow."
It was almost three in the morning, and the typically busy city had already gone to sleep. The hustle and bustle that was characteristic of the place I lived in had died down: the forever congested streets were now cleared, and the walkways always filled with millions of unfamiliar faces were completely void of life; even my footsteps had become audible. I slapped my headphones over my ears; as entertaining as the sounds of silence and shoes colliding with the pavement were, nothing beat good music.
The twenty-minute walk from my mentor's – or rather, my aunt's – apartment to the university dormitories was supposed to be anything but eventful; that was how it had always been. And yet…
An ear-piercing shriek suddenly rang out.
I stopped dead in my tracks. Cold sweat trickled down my skin as my heartbeat accelerated. Even with my headphones, the scream was so loud that I could hear it clearly, and it seemed that the ghastly wail originated not too far away from where I stood.
The smart thing to do would be to turn around and leg it. Whatever just occurred was none of my business; I could not afford to unnecessarily risk losing my life and the chance to achieve my goals. Dying here would be a complete waste of the twenty-two years of my life. I ripped off my headphones and swiftly went back the way I came from, hoping to leave the premises before I accidentally wound up involved in whatever was going on.
But someone could really need your help right now. Are you going to abandon another person, just like how you turned your back on them? How can you dream of penance when you willingly ignore another person whom you could save?
Don't you FUCKING DARE run away this time!
Cursing internally, I turned around for the second time and cautiously headed towards where I thought the scream came from. Assuming there was an injured person, reaching them ASAP would be my top priority, but it would be foolish to charge in head first without confirming whether or not it was safe to administer emergency treatment.
In hindsight my decision to get involved in whatever was going on was extremely reckless, though it wasn't one I regretted.
I sucked in a deep breath before rapping on the door of a certain hospital room, taking care not to knock too loudly.
"Come in," a feminine voice invited me.
Well, here goes nothing.
Upon entering I saw a bespectacled young woman in her mid-twenties sitting up on the hospital bed with her back against a pillow, a white blanket wrapped around the lower half of her body. A thick book rested on her lap. Yes, this was the person I was looking for. There was no way I could forget her appearance, considering the abnormal circumstances under which I first met her.
There was an awkward silence of a few seconds as we stared at each other. I wasn't sure exactly what to say to her while she probably wasn't sure how to act towards her unexpected, unknown visitor.
"Eh… um… hello. Y-you are Asada Shino, right?" I spluttered.
"Yes, I am. And who might you be?"
"I um, I was the one who gave you first aid and called an ambulance a couple days ago. You might not remember me since you were barely conscious when I found you," I explained. "I came to see how you're doing." Asada's face lit up upon realizing my connection to her.
"Oh! You saved me, didn't you? It's great to finally meet you. I can't thank you enough for what you did," she said while wearing what I thought was a genuine, beautiful smile. "If it weren't for you, I doubt I'd still be alive. Thank you, thank you so much. I owe you my life."
"Y-you're welcome. I'm glad that I was able to help," I answered as my face heated up. It was the first time someone directed such powerful emotions of gratitude towards me, and it was making me feel quite embarrassed.
Asada had lost a considerable amount of blood when I found her, and her vital signs were unstable then but fortunately her assailant missed her vital spots, and the injuries she sustained were not severe enough to leave any lasting effects. She had recovered sufficiently to be discharged after resting up for a few days.
I was also quite lucky that I didn't have to deal with a dangerous individual on top of administering first aid; by the time I arrived the attacker had already fled. It didn't take too long for the police to find and arrest him afterwards.
"Hey, would you happen to be free tomorrow? My friends insisted on celebrating my discharge over supper tomorrow evening and I'd like it if you could come as well," Asada offered.
"Um... uh, I'm not sure if I have any free time tomorrow."
"I see. Don't feel pressured to come if you're busy, but we'll have a seat saved for you in case you can make it." If she was disappointed, she sure did a good job hiding it. She scribbled down the location and time she would be meeting her friends on a slip of paper and handed it to me.
"A-anyways, thanks for inviting me. I really appreciate it," I said.
"Not at all, it's the least I can do to express my gratitude for what you've done."
We spoke for a little longer before I bid her farewell, and the first conversation between the policewoman Asada Shino and the med student Katsuragi Shinjiro drew to an end.
"Good evening, Shinji. How was the hospital visit?" my aunt/mentor asked as I stepped into her apartment.
"It was alright. Asada – that's the girl's name – has more or less recovered and will be leaving the hospital tomorrow."
"Did something happen? You seem to be distracted by something."
Damn, she's perceptive as usual.
"... Asada said that her friends were planning to celebrate her discharge tomorrow evening. She invited me to join them."
"And...?"
"I told her I might not be free. She said she'll save me a seat in case I ended up going."
"Ah, so you're conflicted about whether you should go or not."
I wasn't being completely truthful to Asada earlier. Although I did have an extremely busy schedule, that wasn't an issue; if I needed to, I could make enough time for an evening. The problem was that –
"Although you feel that you should attend out of respect for Asada's goodwill, you fear growing close to her, don't you? Even now you can't help but keep those around you at arm's length."
Yup, she was right on the money, as usual. Taking my silence as confirmation, my aunt continued.
"Shinji, this time you don't need to be afraid. Asada is someone who genuinely wants to thank you; she has no reason to possess any ill intent towards her saviour. Couldn't you sense the sincerity behind her words when you spoke with her in the hospital?"
... I know you're right, auntie but I'm sorry. I'm still too scared to risk trusting other people. I don't want to honestly believe in someone only to have them turn their back on me when I need them the most. Auntie, don't you remember the pain of being betrayed by the person you loved? I can clearly remember the horrified expressions of the two people I backstabbed. Even now I have nightmares about it.
"Look at me, Shinji," auntie said as she sat opposite me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "I understand how you feel. But just because you're afraid it doesn't mean you can simply overlook Asada's feelings. From her perspective, she owes you a great debt and she wants to do something to repay you. Don't you think it'd be cruel to deny her the chance to properly convey her thanks?"
...
"Be brave, Shinji. Don't let your chance for an act of kindness slip by."
... All it takes is courage, huh?
"Thank you for encouraging me, auntie. I'll meet up with Shino tomorrow evening."
"Well done, Shinji. I'm proud of you," my aunt said as she hugged me.
888
Dicey Café… what an original name.
I took a deep breath and yanked open the red, wooden door to find Asada and (what I assumed were) her friends sitting around a large, circular table. There were quite a few other customers in the café as well, though they were irrelevant.
"Good evening! I'm glad you could make it," Asada said, waving at me. The joyful expression Asada made after laying eyes on me made me think that my decision to attend the evening's celebrations was the correct one, though I had to suppress a shudder as her companions all looked at my direction – I really hated being the centre of attention. "Everyone, this is Katsuragi Shinjiro, my saviour and tonight's honorary guest."
"Hi there! Thank you for saving our dear friend, all of us owe you a lot," the girl seated next to Asada said as she stood up and extended a hand to me. I tried my best to mask my discomfort as I gingerly shook her hand; my social ineptness was something I had been struggling for a long time. She had brown hair and was in her mid-twenties, and wore a bright, friendly smile.
"I-it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, miss…"
"Shinozaki Rika, but just Rika is fine," came to joyful, friendly reply.
"O-oh, then p-please call me Shinjiro too, Shinoza – er, I meant Rika." I was stuttering quite a bit, and I wasn't able to maintain eye contact for long, but Rika didn't seem to mind my lack of social etiquette.
"Well, I'm sure that you're starving, so sit down and order as much as you want! Everything's on us."
"A-are you sure?"
"Of course! You're not leaving until you can't eat another bite," she answered with a grin.
It took a little time and quite a bit of effort, but I was gradually able to stick names to faces. Asada, Shinoza– Rika (damn this is hard) and myself aside, there were five other people who were present.
The head-turning beauty sitting adjacent to Shinozaki was called Yuu... Yuuki Asuna. Her stunning features, combined with her radiant smile and good manners surely charmed any men who interacted with her. Her fingers were often intertwined with those of her lover, a young man who probably really liked the colour black. Although many would be jealous of him for being in a relationship with someone as attractive as Yuuk...Yuuki, I had the feeling that many others would also be resentful towards her for having Kirigaya Kazuto as her boyfriend since he seemed like the type of person to be extremely popular with women.
Kirigaya Kazuto's little sister – Kirigaya Suguha – was also among Shino's friends who were present. She had short, black hair and rather eye-catching… assets. Although she was clearly in her mid-twenties, her youthful behaviour was reminiscent of a teenager's. Apparently she was a kendo practitioner, so she was probably much stronger physically than she looked.
Ayano Keiko was a mature young lady who exuded an aura of kindness. Her twin tails and red ribbons made her appear younger than she actually was; I was mildly surprised to learn that she was twenty-two, which meant that we were of the same age. Among all those who were gathered here, Ayano and I were the only ones who had yet to graduate from university.
Tsuboi Ryoutarou was clearly the 'big brother' of the group. A man in his early thirties who had a goatee and sported a red bandana with yellow streaks, he got along with everyone else perfectly despite the age gap. He seemed to be a likeable, chilled person. Tsuboi and Shinoz– Rika (dammit!) were the most outspoken and, in my opinion, the friendliest among Asada's friends.
Additionally, the bartender/owner of the Dicey Cafe, a large African man approaching his forties who spoke extremely fluent Japanese, seemed to be a close acquaintance of Asada and her friends. For the most part he was busy serving the other customers, but occasionally he'd drop by our table and join in the conversation. He thanked me for saving Asada; I thanked him for the wonderful food he served.
"Not a fan of alcohol?" Tsuboi asked as I emptied yet another glass of soft drink.
"I-I'll be pulling an all-nighter studying later so I can't really afford to have any alcohol in me," I answered. "I'm kind of a lightweight, you see."
"My, aren't you a hardworking. How unlike a certain lazy someone who spends more time complaining about schoolwork and procrastinating than actually doing it, right Liz?" Y... Yuuki Asuna said while glancing at her friend.
How the hell do you get the nickname 'Liz' from Shinozaki Rika?
"Hey, I'm not lazy! I do work hard!" Shi– Rika objected in faux anger.
"That's only the day before an exam," Kirigaya Kazuto quipped.
"Shut up, Kazuto! You're an even lazier person than I am." Wait, didn't she just admit to being lazy even though she was denying it seconds ago?
"Yeah, but I pretty much get full marks even without studying," Kirigaya replied with a mocking grin, earning a pout from Rika (aha! Got her name right this time).
"Stop it, Kazuto. Intellectually gifted people like us will never fully comprehend the struggle of people like Liz. We should be kinder to the plebeians," Asada cheekily commented, the mischief blatant in her eyes.
Wow, looks like miss cop can be surprisingly cold.
"Argh, I give up. I hate you geniuses."
"Hey Katsuragi, what and where are you studying anyways?" Ayano asked me. Everyone was impressed upon learning that I was a med student one of the country's (objectively speaking) most renowned institutions.
"Whoa, that's really impressive!" Asada praised.
"Not another genius," Rika muttered in mock annoyance.
"N-no, no, you're overestimating me. It was due to luck more than anything," I replied. In all honesty my intelligence was, at best, slightly above average; getting into the university was the result of the sleepless nights I spent hammering bits of knowledge into my brain.
The chatter never ceased as the hours passed by. At first I was very nervous to interact with this group of people, but I warmed up to them fairly quickly. I had a... habit of keeping people at an arm's length due to my inability to trust others, but the goodwill of Asada and her friends had towards me was so blatant that I didn't need to keep my guard up. It was nice to be able to casually talk with others aside from my aunt for a change. By the time everyone decided to finally call it a day, I left the Dicey Cafe much later than I had expected to, not that I minded.
"How's work?" Shino asked one evening. The two of us were seated on the bar stools of the Dicey Café.
"Extremely difficult, as always," I commented with a sigh. At the tender age of twenty-four, I had finally completed my arduous six years of med school. Currently, I was a member of a team of scientists, led by my aunt, who were involved in HIV/AIDS research. As happy as I was to get the job I always wanted, it was very, very taxing on me. "What about you?"
"Fortunately it's been quite peaceful these days so I haven't had to do much," Shino answered.
"That's good. One hospital stay is one too many."
Shino and I had grown very close over time, and she had become an important, irreplaceable existence to me. Though my paranoia of trusting others still remained the frightened voices in my head that demanded me to doubt others became silent whenever I interacted with Shino. I could sense and trust the sincerity behind her words. In a way we were eternally grateful to each other: she was thankful that I saved her life, I was appreciative that she allowed me to once again experience the long-forgotten pleasures of having a close friend whom I could put my faith in and pour my heart out to.
Shino, however, was not the only person I had grown close to. As a regular of the Dicey Café – I enjoyed the establishment's good food and relaxing atmosphere very much – I often ran into Ryoutarou, Rika and Suguha. While I wasn't as intimate with them as I was with Shino, nevertheless they were people who I had come to care about. I was good friends with all three, and I felt a certain degree of confidence placing my trust in them.
"Shino! Shinji! Hi!"
Well, speak of the devil and she shall appear.
"Hey there, Suguha."
"Good evening, Sugu."
The younger Kirigaya hopped onto the barstool next to mine and stretched her arms which were probably weary from a day's kendo practice. Suguha was a very attractive young lady and the men in the café were sneaking glances at her. If Kazuto was here, he would probably be annoyed by them and glare back angrily. The older Kirigaya and his lover occasionally had to travel abroad, and Keiko was often out of town, so I didn't see them as much as I saw the others, though I had interacted with them enough to feel comfortable referring to them by their first names.
"Welcome back, Sugu. What would you like to order?" The bartender/owner of the Dicey, Andrew Gilbert Mills asked.
"A lemonade and curry rice, please. I'm starving!"
I gradually became good friends with Andrew throughout my visits to the Dicey. At first I thought he looked a little intimidating, but I quickly discovered that he was actually a gentle and sensitive person, and I found it easy to strike up conversations with him once I had gotten to know Andrew better.
It's all thanks to Shino invitation and my aunt's encouragement that I was able to become part of a close-knit group of friend. It was no exaggeration to say that I had never felt as happy for a long time.
It didn't take too long for Rika and Ryoutarou to show up, and with their arrival the evening quickly became livelier and more entertaining as we jumped from one topic to another. The conversation frenzy began with Andrew asking if we had done anything interesting recently. This prompted Shino to talk about the latest movie she watched (I don't say this often, but the movie's actually better than the book. Props to the director for doing such a good job); since romance was part of the movie's plot, Ryoutarou started complaining about his relationship problems (I. Want. A. Girlfriend! Why can't I have a 'happily ever after' ending?); in response Rika gloated about how she and her boyfriend were getting along perfectly, much to Ryoutarou's annoyance (we went ice-skating the other day. We had suuuuuch a great time!). Suguha then spoke about how Kazuto, the ever protective big brother, had been acting unnecessarily aggressively towards her boyfriend.
"It was funny at first, but then he began making threats, and Asuna had to shut him up."
"Wait, seriously!? What did he say?" Rika asked excitedly. That girl just couldn't resist a juicy bit of gossip.
"In his exact words, 'if you make my sister cry, I'll drop by your house and kill you when you're asleep. Don't think I won't do it, I know where you live and I have a fucking motorbike. I can come by anytime I want, you get me!?'" Suguha said, doing her best Kazuto imitation.
All of us burst out laughing, partly because of how ridiculous the threat was, and partly because the imitation was spot on.
The most memorable exchanges between Shino and I took place when I was twenty-five and Shino was twenty-seven; we had already known each other for more than three years.
One evening, our mutual acquaintances were all occupied one way or another so Shino and I were the only ones who were spending supper at the Dicey. Andrew was also there, of course, but he was busy serving other customers so he wasn't really a part of the conversation.
"Were you motivated by some sort of past experience to become a policewoman?" I questioned Shino.
"… Why do you ask?"
"I might be mistaken, but you seem unnaturally driven when it comes to your job. You're a very kind person, and I respect you for that, but there's more to your – for a lack of a better word – obsession with protecting other people, right?" I asked. This was a question I had been pondering for quite a while.
"Since when did you get so perceptive?"
So something did happen in the past, then?
"I've spent quite a bit of time with you, so it's not strange if I notice a few things about you. If it's something too personal you don't have to tell me."
"No, it's fine. It's certainly personal, and remembering it is still painful, but running away from the past won't do me any good. Besides, there's a part of me which wants you to hear about it."
That's an unexpected response.
"Huh?"
"Well, how I say this? We've grown really close over the last three years; you've become one of the most important people in my life. Because of that, I want to learn everything about you, and at the same time I want you to know more about me."
Oh… wow. Wow. I'm honoured, truly.
The two of us were blushing furiously: I was caught off guard by Shino's powerful words, while Shino was feeling awkward from confessing such heartfelt thoughts.
"...Thanks, I appreciate it. You're... important to me to," I replied.
"... Good to know."
There was a few seconds of silence before Shino loudly ordered more beer from Andrew. She took a huge gulp of alcohol, emptying half of her new mug in the process. This surprised Andrew and me, because the Shino we knew was a slow drinker who only drank in sips.
"Hey, don't get yourself drunk now. Nobody's thrown up inside the Dicey since day one, and I want to keep that streak going," Andrew said.
"Don't worry, I can at least handle this much," Shino said dismissively. Andrew looked a little uncertain but otherwise stayed quiet. "By the way, is there somewhere we could speak privately?"
"Hmm... well, you could use the kitchen," Andrew offered. "There are a few chairs inside, and nobody will be able to hear you if you speak in there, if you don't mind my wife and I dropping by every now and then."
"That'll do, thanks," Shino answered. "The story I'm about to tell him is one you already know, so I don't really mind if you overhear." We grabbed our drinks, entered the kitchen and occupied a chair each.
"It's a long story, and it sure as hell isn't a happy one. So, brace yourself," Shino warned. I nodded wordlessly, giving my friend my full attention.
"My father died in an accident when I was two years old. I'll spare you the details, but his death was... gruesome, to say the least. Unfortunately, my mother had to witness him slowly dying, and she was traumatised by it. Afterwards, mom wasn't the same person anymore; she was reduced to a fragile shell of her former self.
Her mental strain eventually resulted in physical weakness: her hands shook a lot, and her legs would sometimes go weak. Moving was difficult enough for her. Yet, for the sake of her daughter, she forced herself to work and scrape a living. As I grew older, I came to appreciate my mother's struggle and resolved to take care of the two of us. I'd be lying if I said that life wasn't difficult back then, but I was... blessed to have a mother who loved me.
Everything went to hell when I was eleven years old. One day, my mother went to the post office and I insisted on coming along. Even now, I remember that day's events vividly: mom was at the counter speaking with the staff, and I was reading a book, waiting for her to be finished. Suddenly, a suspicious man carrying a duffel bag walked – no, that couldn't be called walking – limped into the post office. I don't know if he was suffering from some kind of mental illness, or if it was the side effects of some drug, but there was blatantly something wrong with him."
Shino downed the rest of her beer.
"He staggered over to the counter, shoved my mother to the ground, and pulled a gun out of his bag while demanding the postal staff to fill his bag with money. He shot the same employee my mother was talking to moments ago, and threatened to murder another person if the other employees did not comply with his wishes. The next person he pointed his gun at... was my mother.
The sight of mom being held at gunpoint triggered something inside of me. I attacked the robber, and by sheer luck disarmed him. His gun fell into my hands, and he tried to pry them away from me. I was nothing more than a little kid; how could I hope to match the physical strength of a fully grown man? I knew that he would yank the weapon out of my hands any moment, so before he could, I shot him." Shino looked me in the eye as she unflinchingly confessed to killing a man.
"... That's your cue to be disgusted with me," Shino commented. She was surprised when I suddenly wrapped my arms around her slender body.
"Shino, I will never hate you for being a victim, and I will never, ever be disgusted with you; you're one of the most beautiful people I've ever met," I said as I embraced her tightly.
"Heh, you're a really strange guy, you know that? I'm glad I met you, Shinji. I really am," Shino said with a chuckle.
"It's fine if you need to cry. You should let it all out."
"Thanks, but I'm fine for now. At any rate, why don't I continue my story?"
"Sure," I said, releasing Shino from my hug. She smiled appreciatively before continuing.
"Admittedly, I was panicking, but the primary motivation behind my actions was to protect my mother. The cruel irony was that the one who ended up hurting her most was me. Witnessing another person's death was too much of a shock to my frail mother; she ended up being admitted to a psychiatric ward. I could no longer be around her anymore; every time she saw me, she'd start yelling in distress. In her eyes, Asada Shino was no longer her daughter, but a bloodstained murderer.
Obviously, things got worse, because the Asada household is basically the embodiment of suffering. Somehow, word got out that I murdered someone, and I was bullied at school. I was traumatised from having killed a person, and the children around me used that to torment me. They didn't have to do much," Shino said, raising her thumb above her fist while extending her index and middle fingers so that her hand mimicked a gun. "All they had to do was 'pull out' there finger guns, go
'BANG!'
and I'd start spasming all over the floor, screaming in agony. I often threw up when they did that. Changing schools didn't help much, because my new classmates managed to find out that I killed somebody."
"...How the hell did you endure all of that?"
"Honestly, I have no idea. Fortunately, I met Kazuto and the others when I was sixteen, and long story short, things got a whole lot better quickly. Thanks to them, I was no longer all alone. Anyways, to answer your original question, I became a cop because I don't anyone else to suffer the way I did. I want to do anything I can to protect innocent people, and I'll be satisfied if my actions can change the lives of others for the better," Shino said.
"... Although I suspected that you went through some kind of bad experience, never could I imagine your past being so tragic. I only wish I could've been by your side back then; it's just so unfair that you had to endure all of this bullshit," I told Shino.
"But you're with me now, and that's more than enough."
"And I'll continue to be by your side forever. Hey, can I ask a question?"
"Sure, fire away."
"Your mother, how is she now?"
"She died when I was eighteen."
"Oh... I'm so sorry."
"Don't be, you couldn't have known. In a way, I'm glad that she's finally been released from her mental anguish. She passed away peacefully, and that's all I can ask for. To be honest, for a while I wanted to resent her for abandoning me when I was hurting the most, but how could I hate her? I was partly to blame for her insanity. Right now, I'm just grateful to her for her eleven years of devotion.
In the past, I despised myself for taking a life. I abhorred myself for being a disgusting murderer, yet now I don't feel remorseful at all about killing that robber. I wonder, am I a bad person for thinking this way?"
"No, you aren't. That man was the scum of the earth, and he was the cause of your immense suffering."
"Perhaps you're right. Regardless, I don't regret trying to save my mother, but I wish I was strong enough to do things differently so as to spare mom from her suffering. Hey Shinji, can I lean on you for a bit? I can feel the waterworks coming." Shino spent the next thirty minutes sobbing into my shoulder while I gently rubbed her back.
"Can I ask you for a favour, Shino?"
"What is it?"
"One day, can you take me to your mother's grave? I want to thank her for singlehandedly raising the person I love."
"Gladly. I'm sure she'll be thrilled to meet you," Shino said with a tearful smile.
A week had gone by since Shino told me about her past. We weren't able to meet up due to my incredibly packed schedule, but we did exchange texts every day. We finally saw each other nine days later, all because my aunt forced me to take a break.
"You can leave the team for one day, or you can leave the team forever. Your choice," she said menacingly, and I knew then I had no choice but to take the day off.
I missed hanging out with Shino so I decided to pay her apartment a visit. I knew that today was her day off, so I was expecting to see her. She was caught off guard but nevertheless happy about the surprise visit.
"I'm grateful you told me so much about yourself last week, Shino. I'm honoured that you trust me enough to share your past, and I've been thinking that it's only fair for me to respond in kind. This time, I'll tell you something about myself that only one other person in the entire world knows about. What I'm going to talk about is my deepest regret, and the reason why I decided to become a medical researcher."
That got Shino's undivided attention.
"Compared to you, my childhood was pretty normal. My parents were very busy people and couldn't afford to spend much time with me, but I had many friends, so I was satisfied with life. I had no complaints whatsoever. Among my friends, there was a pair of twin sisters. Although they were twins, they had completely different personalities: the older one was calm, controlled and mature for her age, while the younger one was energetic, impulsive and optimistic. Compared to my other classmates, I only knew them for a relatively short time, but I considered them my best friends.
One day, everyone at school found out that the twins were AIDS carriers. The other students were horrified to suddenly discovered the existence of people who had such a deadly transmittable disease so near them; that fear moved them to 'attack' the twins, and it wasn't long before those two got bullied. Some idiot kid had the stupid idea of chanting 'when are you going to die' whenever those two were around, and other kids found it fun to join in. The other parents and teachers were afraid that the disease would transmit to their children or themselves, so they didn't do anything to help them; they secretly wanted those two gone. Shino, you experienced something similar to them, didn't you?"
A grim expression and a silent nod were my dear friend's reply.
"I didn't take part in the harassment, but... I did nothing stop it, even though my best friends were suffering. I was afraid that the other students would start bullying me as well if I tried to help them. I lacked the courage to even reach out to my best friends and comfort them; I was that much of a coward. I contented myself with the delusion that I wasn't guilty as long as I didn't actively take part.
There was one time they were surrounded by other children in the hallway, and the bullies were saying really unkind things to them. Those two were looking at my direction, their eyes pleading for help, but... I didn't intervene. I literally turned my back on them and headed for the nearest staircase; right before I left the floor, I briefly looked back at my 'best friends'. I can still vividly remember Aiko's disappointed glare and Yuuki's vulnerable, hurt expression from being abandoned. Back then, I was so shaken up that I ran as far away from them as I could. The next day, the twins' conditions worsened to the extent that they had to pull out of school.
It was only then did I realise that I was actually responsible for exacerbating those two's illness. Maybe it was a mere coincidence that the twins' conditions worsened so much the day after I abandoned them in the hallway, but you can't deny that all those times I chose to stay passive instead of defending them contributed to their conditions worsening. I also learned to – I guess, appreciate – the agonies of treachery precisely because I had betrayed my friends. I started dreading the possibility of my other friends betraying me. I knew that I had wronged Aiko and Yuuki greatly, and I feared getting my just desserts in the future. I began doubting the people around me and distanced myself from everyone else.
The combination of guilt from my passiveness towards the twins' plight and my new paranoia resulted caused me to become very depressed. My parents were too occupied with work to detect my struggles, and the people at school weren't observant enough to pick up on my changes in behaviour. I think Aiko might've noticed that something was wrong with me if she hadn't left, but that's beside the point. Of course, I could've reached out to somebody if I wanted to, but there was a part of me which believed my depression was punishment for what I did to those two. It wasn't until I was in my late teens that someone noticed my depression; that person was my aunt. She had business near where I lived, and decided to drop by and visit me; she hadn't seen me since I was a baby. By then, I had become a complete shut-in, and auntie felt compelled to address my problems. Since then, she's been supporting me unwaveringly," I recounted.
"Your aunt sounds like an incredible person," Shino commented. Some time ago, I had mentioned to her that my aunt was actually our team's lead researcher and, in practical terms, my boss. I always spoke about auntie fondly, so Shino knew about my close relationship with her. "Now I understand why you hold her in such high regard."
"I became a researcher because I wanted to find a cure so that nobody else has to go through what Aiko and Yuuki experienced. At the same time, I wanted redemption from betraying those two. The damage I'd done to them was irreversible, but that's no excuse for me to not try to atone for what I've done. I heard that Aiko and Yuuki passed away when they were teenagers; a huge pity, since the world lost two great people. Well, there you have it, my deepest, secret regret," I said depressingly.
"Thank you for sharing your past with me, Shinji. It must've been difficult for you to talk about it. Having heard your story, there's a question I want to ask: is the younger twin's full name Konno Yuuki?"
... How in the world?
"Yes, yes that's right. Why do you know Yuuki?" I asked in disbelief.
"You know how I used to play a couple of VRMMOs with Kazuto and the others, right? Yuuki was one of the best players in a VRMMO called ALfheim Online. She was Asuna's best friend for some time," Shino explained. "We were with Yuuki during her final moments. She was content with what she had achieved with her short life when she passed away."
"...That's great. Knowing that she was happy in her last moments makes me feel better." After all, she had suffered too much throughout her life.
"Well, your story clears up one thing: now I know why you seemed so uncomfortable addressing Asuna by her last name when you first met her; it reminded you of Konno Yuuki."
"Yup, you're right. It took me quite a bit of effort to control my emotions when speaking with Asuna for the first time," I confessed.
It would be a shame to end our day off on such an unhappy note, so we ended up going to the Dicey for a fun-filled evening with the gang. To everyone's delight, Keiko, Kazuto and Asuna were in town, so I had an exceptionally good time. It wasn't often that everyone was together, and we stayed until Andrew closed shop.
"Congratulations for getting engaged, Rika."
"Thanks, Shinji!" Rika chirped, beaming with unparalleled joy.
Rika's fiancé was someone she met when she was trapped inside the SAO death game. They became friends as teenagers, fell in love in their twenties and finally decided to tie the knot in their early thirties.
Strangers aside, currently Rika, Andrew and I were the only ones in the Dicey Café; our friends would be joining us later.
"So the wedding's next month?" Andrew asked.
"Yup! You're not invited though… just kidding!"
I've never seen a person look this happy before.
"It's good to see all of you finally settling down with your special someone," Andrew spoke as if he was a proud father. "Kazuto and Asuna married two years ago, Keiko's wedding was last year and now it's your turn."
I was invited to those two weddings. They were beatific, emotional events, and everyone either left smiling or teary-eyed, or both. Asuna and Keiko were stunning in their bridal dresses.
"Considering how things are going we might be attending Ryoutarou's wedding next year. I heard he plans on starting a family with his girlfriend in the near future," Andrew said.
"It's only a matter of time before Sugu ties the knot as well," Rika added. "Looks like Mr unrelenting-overprotective-big-brother-Kazuto is finally willing to accept her boyfriend into the Kirigaya household. Hmm… speaking of friends and marriages, we can't leave Shino out now can we?" Rika said as she tapped her chin with her index finger. For some reason, her strange tone was making me quite uncomfortable.
"So when are you going to propose to her, Shinji?"
I almost spat out my drink.
"… I don't know what you're talking about," I said as I cranked my head to stare at her.
"Yes, and that extremely delayed response wasn't suspicious at all."
"Exactly Rika! Since there is nothing suspicious, you can stop interrogating me right now."
"Oh come on! Everyone knows how much you two care for each other. You're a liar if you deny that you guys are more than friends."
"I can neither confirm nor deny your accusations."
"Then I guess I'll have to ask Shino myself," Rika threatened.
Well, time to put this to rest before it gets any more awkward.
"Look, I'll admit that I love Shino very, very, very much, and I'm sure she reciprocates my feelings. Marrying Shino is an idea that makes my heart race – and I meant that in a good way. However, we both agreed that we'd be better off not marrying."
"But why!? That doesn't make sense!"
"Rika, respect their privacy," Andrew advised.
"Oh yeah, sorry Shinji. I got carried away," Rika said apologetically.
"Nah, it's fine. For personal reasons, I swore to devote my life to my research; as for Shino, she decided that she'd do whatever it takes to save as many lives as possible, even if it meant losing an arm or a leg. I'm sure you're aware of her... past-related motivations." Rika and Andrew's expressions made it apparent that they understood my implications.
"The way of life we decided upon is incompatible with marriage. It would be very difficult for me to give my research all I have if Shino were to become my wife and her happiness was to become my number one priority; also, Shino would be unable to go out on a limb protecting others if I were to become her husband and her number one priority. The two of us would probably lead a very happy life as a married couple, but some things just aren't meant to be."
"Hmm... the decision is yours and Shino's to make so who am I to judge? Sorry for being nosy though," Rika replied.
"Don't worry about it. I have a feeling that this conversation was going to happen sooner or later anyways," I answered. The lengthy speech made me rather thirsty and I started drinking whatever was left from my glass of soda.
"Oh well, if you two won't marry then you can always become friends with benefits!"
This time I spat out my drink.
All good things in life are short, like the time I spent with my dearest Shino.
Andrew was the bearer of bad news that evening. After a long, weary day at work, my aunt and I returned to our flat to see him waiting at the front door. One look at him was all I needed to know that something seriously bad had happened, because I had never ever seen the normally composed Andrew wear such a grim, pained expression.
"Let's talk inside," Andrew said, doing his best to suppress his emotions. Wordlessly, I nodded and unlocked the door to my flat as a sense of dread built up in my stomach. The next words that came out of Andrew's mouth turned my life upside down.
"Shino was killed while confronting a kidnapper."
No… nonononoNONONONO! NO! NO!
Andrew went on to explain that the murderer of my beloved was some deranged lunatic who kidnapped children and… did horrendous things to them. Shino was investigating the heinous freak and caught him abducting a little boy; while attempting to rescue the innocent child from a grim fate, she was shot dead after a brief struggle with the murderer.
The only slight consolation was that the boy was successfully liberated from the filthy hands of the disgusting monster. The insane criminal ultimately succumbed to wounds inflicted on him during his violent arrest.
That creature's death was too easy, too swift. He deserved to be tortured, to have his life slowly and excruciatingly drained out of him, and to suffer in hell for eternity for taking my Shino's life! How I wish I could tear the flesh off his body. How I wish I could beat him until he coughed up the last drops of blood inside of him!
To be honest, I cannot remember much of what happened after Andrew had finished his 'casualty report'; to me, everything was a blur. However, according to him and my aunt, I spasmed violently and was sweating profusely. Apparently I tried standing up but my legs were shaking so much that I ended up collapsing onto the floor. I'm sure that Andrew and my aunt were worried out of their minds for me back then. I woke up the next day on my room's bed. My aunt took the day off to look after her unstable, grieving nephew.
If a person who shot someone to death in cold blood were to end up dying to a gun wound, perhaps such demise was their just deserts. However, Shino was different. She pulled the trigger to protect her mother. She saved lives, and was tormented by an act of killing she was forced into.
Shino's death by gunshot wasn't karma. It was injustice. But when has this cold, cruel world ever played fair? What choice was there for me but to accept the fact that people like aunt Koujiro and I were cursed? The person I loved left me prematurely, while the person she loved turned out to be the creator of the SAO death game.
My beloved abhorred being the source of distress to her cherished ones. She once said that she couldn't bear seeing anyone shed tears for her sake. Thus, I tried my damned hardest to hold back my tears whenever I thought of her – and thought of her I did often.
I only wept twice after her death: the night Andrew informed me of her passing, and during her funeral.
Throughout her life, Shino fought to protect the people around her: as a child, she killed the post office robber to save her mother, and as an adult, she worked tirelessly as a cop to safeguard the lives of innocents. Even in her last moments, she was protecting somebody; despite losing her life, she was ultimately successful in rescuing the abducted little boy. Shino was a fighter. As the lover of such an amazing person, I would be disgracing her if I did nothing but wallow in misery over her death. I knew I had to move forward with all my might; being paralysed by grief was NOT an option. Thus, I threw myself at my research as if I was a man possessed, practically working non-stop every single day in hopes of achieving a scientific breakthrough.
I no longer frequented the Dicey Café as the place brought up too many painful memories of her; instead I chose to drown out my sorrows by losing myself in my work. Andrew, Ryoutarou, Rika and Suguha would visit me at my flat occasionally; although Kazuto and Asuna were rarely around due to work, and Keiko moved abroad with her husband, they would still call every now and then so we did keep in touch.
A team of medical researchers led by Koujiro Rinko were involved in researching a cure for the disease which took away the lives of Konno Yuuki, Konno Aiko and many, many, many others.
After five decades of incessant effort, head researcher Koujiro peacefully passed away at the age of eighty. Her position was succeeded by her nephew Katsurgai Shinjiro; almost a decade later, Katsuragi, with the help of his assistants, managed to achieve what his aunt, as well as generations of researchers before him, failed to do. Having finally completed his life's purpose, Katsuragi passed away less than half a year after the fruits of his research had been made public.
According to Katsuragi's acquaintances, the man was always worn out from working himself to the bone; it is believed that his life span was shortened as a result of how hard he pushed himself.
A/N: Hi! Thanks for reading my story and I hope you enjoyed it.
It's been ages since I've had the time to write fanfiction, and I thought it'd be a good idea to write this one-shot as warmup for writing my other SAO story. I really can't remember how I thought up the plot for this story; I think I was daydreaming one day and I suddenly came up with this plot.
Although I'll be focusing on my other story, I might do a couple more one-shots if I manage to find enough inspiration. These one-shots may not necessarily be SAO fics, though.
Once again, thanks for reading, and have a good day!