Even the smallest of noises sent her nerves into overdrive, the fine hair on the back of her neck standing in salute to the rising adrenaline coursing through her shaking limbs. She knew this was another test of loyalty. Mona had assigned her the simple task of scattering some false evidence in the woods, ordering Spencer with the condescension of a patient mother instructing a toddler. As if throwing a few meaningless trinkets into the dead leaves really required much coaching.
And while it had seemed simple, the very act of donning that black hoodie and leather gloves sent Spencer to the brink. If she hadn't been insane already, traipsing around in the woods, these woods, did nothing to assure her of her mental health. She'd already lost so much out here. What a fitting setting for the depths of her demise.
Sure, this was all a quest for answers, absolution for her and her friends. The risks were abundant though. There was the chance that this nothing-to-lose approach would cost much more than what was already taken. With no other options, Spencer continued to push past the stinging slap of dead branches, pushing further into the inky night.
A snap—not the first she had heard—resounded from behind. She had dismissed the first few, chalking it up to a hyperactive paranoia and the sounds of whatever goes bump in the night. With darting eyes, pounding heart, and weak legs, Spencer spun on her heels. Someone had to be following her, she was sure of it.
If her heart had been pounding before, there are not words for whatever it was doing now. Thumping wildly, threatening to crash right through her chest…she could not have prepared herself for this sight. That frame, the familiar dark hood, a glint of crystal blue against an otherwise colorless world; but he was dead. She saw his body in these woods and he was dead.
"Spencer. Spencer, tell me this isn't true." He barely breathed the words, yet they rang out louder than a clanging bell in her mind.
No, no, no. He's not real, he's not…
She felt her knees creak underneath her willowy frame, giving out, the images of the forest swirling before her eyes, her erratic breathing the only audible response to his words.
"Spencer!" He was at her side immediately, steadying her. "Please, Spence, stay with me here."
Her voice, raspy and uneven, broke through the lump in her throat. "You can't be alive, you can't. Your body was here that night, I saw it. Mona…"
She trailed off, but he gladly cut in. "That's what she wanted you to think. I'm here, I'm right here. That body, it was a decoy, another twisted illusion." He tried to choke back the bitter emotions quickly rising to the surface. Swiping at the tears sliding down her pail cheeks, he whispered his worst fears, hoping she would deny their truth. "Are you…did you join her?"
Still unsettled at the very sight of him, Spencer forced herself to focus on Toby's words. "I-I…" She hesitated, suddenly very self-aware. His had cupping her face, the other snugly wrapped around her waist, the arms of the betrayer around her. She should be afraid of him, right? Dead or not, he had been playing for the enemy.
Sensing the trepidation in the tensing of her body, he backed off slightly, still holding onto her but allowing more space between them. "Spencer, I know that I've lost your trust. And I deserve that. But I haven't been on their side, not really, in a very, very long time. Any resentment I once had against you and your friends is long gone—I couldn't help but love you. You made it so easy…"
Her resistance faltered as she gazed upwards into his misty blue eyes. The meeting of mocha and ice shattered her resolve…like he had said, she just couldn't help it. She loved him. After weeks of torment, she loved him so much that it hurt.
"I want to believe you."
"We'll work on that. For now, I'm begging you to tell me that this is a ruse, a Spencer Hastings plan with all guns blazing. Tell me that they haven't worn you down to this level. " The pleading in his voice caused her to inwardly flinch. If this was an act, it was a darn good one.
"I know what I'm doing, Toby." She tried to sound brave, but it failed even in her own ears.
Raking a free hand through his already mussed hair, he felt the frayed edges of anger, anger at Mona and the boss and at himself, Toby groaned his frustrations into the cold midnight air. "They play for keeps, Spence. You don't just walk away from this. Either you follow their rules or you leave in a body bag. Those are the choices."
Quiet strength emanated from her stance as she whispered, "It was the only route I hadn't already traveled. I knew the risk and still wanted the reward that badly." Seeing an internal war raging beneath his brow, she remembered the Toby she once knew; the boy who fought for her, and sometimes fought against her, all in the name of protecting the one he claimed to love. Maybe it had been real. Twisted, but real.
"Sweetheart," he said as he tucked a stray curl behind her ear, "this isn't what I ever wanted for you. Or for us…but we can be in this together. It was hard enough before, secretly helping you without them noticing. Both of us sneaking around? It could spell serious trouble, especially since they'll be on guard anyway. But I don't see any other way here."
Spencer's lips lifted in the first sincere smile since the night of their anniversary. "Are you proposing I play the Bond girl to your 007?"
He couldn't help it. As much as he wanted to insist that this was no joking matter, her quick witted banter acted as much needed medicine to his stinging soul. An involuntary smirk crossed his face as he hooked his palms around the back of her neck. "Only if you wear a sizzling little dress while I sip martinis…"
She laughed. A real laugh bubbled over, spilling out of her without warning. Her eyes shining with warmth and her breath mingling with his, he gave in to the desire that had been boiling over within him. Leaning his forehead against hers, Toby softly spoke the words that had been etched into his heart since the beginning. "I love you, Spencer. You and me, that's all I've been fighting for, all I want." With his gentle declaration, he closed the sliver of space between them and captured her lips with his.
Feeling woozy for a very different reason than before, Spencer sought stability by wrapping her arms around his sturdy frame, deepening the kiss as she allowed him to make up for lost time. The world still spinning madly on, fate and all of Rosewood against them, darkness and the sins of the past all fighting for dominance—yet in spite of it all, at least two people were a little less alone than they had once thought. The road before them was as unpredictably dangerous as ever, but they had each other.
Interlocking their gloved hands, Spencer managed a verbal response between passionate exchanges. The words "I love you too" vibrated against Toby's lips, sending a message deep down into his most battle-weary parts. Words he never thought he'd hear again. I love you.
If they could survive the separation of lies and isolation, they could survive anything.