Harry Potter: The Magic Begins

by riding the firebolt

One messed up parody about Harry's very 'magical' world! You know you want to read this!

1. A Barbeque Breakfast?

Chapter 1: A BBQ Breakfast?

Harry began frantically searching for Hedwig. Ron suddenly comes in. "Hey Harry" said Ron.

"Hey Ron, have you seen my sex toy Hedwig?" Harry asked.

"What?!" Ron said, shocked.

"I mean...have you seen...my sweet pet owl Hedwig who I do not engage in sexual acts with in between every lesson?" Harry asked.

"Oh! She's in the great hall" Ron said.

"Trying to find me to give me a letter, I suppose", Harry said, relaxed.

"No—she's breakfast! Hagrid barbequed her this morning, marinated her with Bulls Eye Barbeque Sauce", Ron said licking his lips, "You know Hagrid, how barbaric he is and all".