takes place in the M*A*S*H* but no longer in 1972, but it takes place in the 2000's. they do walk like humans hwen they are in the hospital but usually walk like animals.
"I can't wait for tonight!"a little brown Chihuahua exclaimed.
"Radar, be quiet." a St. Bernard mumbled coming up.
"oh sorry sir." Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly replied.
"get out of my bed!" another dog shouted.
"oh sorry Frank. we thought this was the latrine. " a German Shephard laughed.
"oh, leave'em along Hawkeye." the St. Bernard grumbled.
"sorry Henry." Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Peirce said.
"yeah sorry Henry." a golden retriever smiled.
"what shall we do tomorrow Trap?" Hawkeye ask.
"hm... I don't know... maybe we should get the Cats all wet." John 'Trapper' McIntyre replied.
"my brothers can't we all just get along?" a small Border Terrior ask.
"I don't think so Father. that would make things boring." Trapper replied.
"well do atleast try." Francis 'Father' Mulcahy said.
"hey what is this place?" a Doberman ask.
"hey fella. welcome to MASH 4077. whats your name?" Radar ask.
"Captain B.J. Hunnicutt." Hunnicutt replied. "who are you?" Hunnicutt ask.
"Radar introduce us." Hawkeye said.
"ok. I'm Corporal Radar O'Reilly." Radar said.
"why do they call you that?" Hunnicutt ask.
"I can predict thinks." Radar shrugged.
"cool." Hunnicutt replied.
"the St. Bernard is Lt. Colonel Henry Blake, the German shephard is Captain Hawkeye Peirce, the Border Terrior is Father Mulcahy, the Golden Retriever is Captain Trapper McIntyre, the Great Dane is Major Frank Burns, the Pomeranian is Major Sidney Freedman, the Poodle is Major Charles Winchester, the Mastiff is Igor Straminsky, the Shiba Inu is Corporal Maxwell Klinger." Radar said. "the Balinese cat is Margaret Houlihan." Radar started to list the cats.
"of to us, Hotlips Houlihan. isn't that right Frank?" Hawkeye ask.
"I don't have to take that! Henry!" Frank complained.
"alright knock it off pups." Henry muttered.
"don't worry 'bout those nurses. they'll introduce themselves." Trapper said. Radar suddenly stiffened.
"whats with him?" Hunnicutt ask.
"chopper!" Radar howled. "but it's only one! the nurse Colonel must be here!" Radar shouted. he started running.
"welcome to the Mobile Animal Surgical Hospital!" Hawkeye said.
*Later*
"uh Sir have you seen my bear?" Radar ask.
"no have you checked the pups?" Hawkeye ask.
"there's none here!" Radar exclaimed.
"have you checked with Henry or Trapper?" Hawkeye ask.
"aw come on Hawk! everyone says you know where he's at!" Radar complained. he ears layd back and he pouted up at Hawkeye.
"alright! alright! Klinger has him!" Hawkeye exclaimed looking away.
"thanks a bunch! Klinger! give me my bear!" Radar shouted running for the dog, who was currently wearing a pink bow and tutu.
"never! I will get my section 8 discharge!" Klinger exclaimed. he went to run and ran right into Hunnicut.
"alright fella give the Chihuahua his bear back." Hunnicutt said. Klinger shook his head, shaking the bear.
"no Klinger you'll tear him! my brother gave him to me!" Radar exclaimed.
"never! he's my ticket outta here!" Klinger grawled. Henry trotted up.
"Klinger stealing Radar's bear will not get you out of here. now give his bear back before I get Hawkeye and Trapper." Henry threatened. Klinger huffed and dropped the bear, which Hunnicut picked up since he towered over them and handed it to Radar. Radar sat his bear down.
"aw gee he's covered in slober." Radar pouted.
"alright Radar go put him in my office so no dog will take him, and get my bone while your in there." Henry said. Radar nodded and raced off with his bear, that was bigger then him but caused him no delay in speed. he raced back with the Colonel's Bone.
"sir you really outta wash that. it tasts like liquor and war!" Radar exclaimed putting it down.
"and now it will taste like dirt." Trapper spoke as he trotted by. Radar seemed to realize something.
"oh I have to sort the mail! it's mail call at thirteen hundred (1:00 PM) hours!" Radar exclaimed. he ran off and made the announcement over the entercomm. he recieved a loud roar of barks, howls, and cheers.
"whats so exciting about mail call?" Hunnicutt ask.
"just wait newbie you'll see." Trapper said. "come on we'll take you to the Swamp to get settled in. I kicked Frank out just for you." Trapper added. he helped Hunnicut carry his things.
"this place is like a war zone!" Hunnicutt exclaimed.
"keep it down. some of us are sleeping." Hawkeye mumbled.
"but that bed says Trapper." Hunnicutt said with a questioning noise. Hawkeye didn't reply, he just got up and left. "was it something I said?" Hunnicutt ask. Trapper shook his head.
"he lost his entire family, except his dad, when he was a pup. he has nightmares alot and I think the scent of a friend helps, so we often bunk together." Trapper said. Hunnicutt nodded.
"thats something awful." Hunnicutt said.
"agreed alright come on lets get you settled in." Trapper replied.
"hey they serve lunch soon?" Hunnicutt ask.
"they serve what they call food, but I think it's garbage." Hawkeye said coming back in. "sorry. forgot we kicked Frank out not me." Hawkeye yawned. he stretched and curled up to sleep but was pounced on by Trapper.
"come on lets show the newbie around." Trapper said. Hunnicutt laughed at the two as they started to bicker, they were more like brothers than friends. by now Trapper had Hawkeye pinned under him and they were staring into each others eyes.
"hey mai- aw gee i'm sorry!" Radar exclaimed backing out. Hawkeye and Trapper started to laugh.
"get in here Radar he's just trying to keep me awake." Hawkeye laughed. Radar slowly walked back in.
"whats up?" Trapper ask.
"mail call sirs." Radar replied. Radar handed out the mail and went to leave. "oh by the way guys. I don't want to walk in on any more of THAT anymore. you know what I mean." Radar said.
"oh it was just twice, Radar." Hawkeye smirked.
"yeah but I'll never look at you two the same way again!" Radar exclaimed quickly running out. Hunnicutt looked confused.
"what was he talking about?" Hunnicutt ask. Hawkeye couldn't hold back his laugh.
"you know things that should only be done with the married?" Trapper ask. Hunnicutt thought a moment then it dawned on him. his face lit up bright red.
"o-oh! bu-but I thought...your already... he's well he's a... he! and your both..." Hunnicutt stuttered. his ears flattened as he tried to get his thoughts together. "w-well that's your business not mine, but I don't want to walk in on you two together." Hunnicutt said. Trapper smiled.
"we'll make sure to keep to the supply closet." Trapper said.
"note to self, supply closet is off limits." Hunnicutt replied. "now how about that tour around the place?" Hunnicutt ask.
"fine." Hawkeye mumbled. he pushed Trapper away and stood. he streched and let out yawn. "come on the last one to the nurse's showers has to kiss Hotlips Houlihan!" Hawkeye laughed. he jumped swiftly over Trapper but Hunnicutt jumped on him.
"better get to movin' Hawk!" Hunnicutt laughed running out. "hey Father where's the showers?" Hunnicutt ask.
"it's over there with the green paw prints." Father replied.
"thanks!" Hunnicutt exclaimed. he raced off.
"hey cheater!" Hawkeye shouted running after him.
"no way am I kissing a cat!" Trapper shouted running behind the two. Hunnicutt arrived first and the last two arrived at the same time.
"haha you both have to kiss a cat!" Hunnicutt laughed.
*night*
they'd showd him around the entire compound and they were having a movie in the mess tent.
"hey get your paws off my tail!" Trapper exclaimed.
"keep it down will ya!" Frank exclaimed. Hawkeye moved over slightly.
"stop wiggling Trap, I'm trying to sleep." Hawkeye mumbled. Trapper shook his head with a chuckle.