Ben 10 belongs to its respectful owners, not me. Quantity over quality, always. By the way, have you come to appreciate my dacryphilia fetish yet? If not, I'll shove it into your unwilling face that much more aggressively, using all your favorite childhood characters. Mwah ha haaaaaaaaaaaaa! Enjoy.
D'Void awoke from his already fitful slumber to the horrid sounds of his eternally sobbing nightmare baby-thing, WhatsHerFace.
"Hang on, babby, Daddah's here for you!" he sobbed while rushing immediately to her hand carved ceremonial oak crib, decorated with the tears and blood of many carpenter slaves who had died from exhaustion in the process of labor. He leaned over the bars, to check upon his little cutie, who was dressed in a pink frilly onesie, with many adorable stuffed toys surrounding her body. He reached down and placed his hand upon her heaving form. "Hush now, my widdle babby-doo! I wuv you so much!" He cooed at her.
The thing shot out a burst of putrid vomit into his face, temporarily shocking him from his trance. He held a hand to his forehead.
"It's happening again," he moaned. "It's getting stronger this time."
Groggily, D'Void stumbled outside his citadel. His head began to clear once he inhaled the sweet, sweet high of roasted kormite fumes.
"Aah, that's a little better."
He pulled out his favorite bong and began to toke up.
Meanwhile, the nondescript rebels showed up yet again to encourage chaos and instability of tyrannical rule.
"Bothersome pests," D'Void snarled.
"We're gonna kill you this time for sure, D'Void!" they cried in unison.
"I seriously doubt that, unless the story has once again rendered me powerless even with the stupid komite furnace burning in the background there," said D'Void while looking mighty cross.
A horrid shriek came from the distance. D'Void and the entire rebel force turned to see.
"Holy fuck, what is that thing?" one of them cried in abject terror.
It was D'Void's precious offspring abomination, the twins, Renesmee III and Eraserhead.
"DAH-DAH," Renessmee III growled. Various liquids poured from between her sagging lips, through multiple rows of twisted yellow teeth. The drool burned smoking holes in the ground.
D'Void screamed. A pain like no other began to sear his very brain. All train of thought was lost as an overwhelming sense of agonizingly blissful stupor set it. All at once, he had the unbearable urge to embrace his precious cuddle-baby. He began to run to her...or...it...as it advanced towards the screaming rebels.
"Oh, baby! Daddy's here for you! Let me LOVE YOU!" yelled D'Void as he ran while kicking up his heels, his arms wide open with obsessive love for his baby.
And then that bitch Manny showed up, all gangsta and everything. He held his gun sideways. No, he held three guns. In three of his hands. While the fourth that was a hook had a pot holder on it. Why, we may never know. Maybe he was embarrassed by it. Somebody said he looked like pirate, perhaps. Maybe people kept asking how exactly he got it and he didn't want to deal with questions anymore.
"We're gonna defeat you, D'Void! You and your fucked up legion of Sue babbies!" he yelled. He began to fire all his weapons at the despicable creatures.
The many bullets entered the beast's body, but had no effect.
"Aw, shit!" Manny yelled. He dove for cover when the creature unhinged its jaws and tried to devour him whole.
"Great job, Manny, you made it mad!" Helen shouted at him from afar.
"Bitch, shut up! At least I'm trying to do something."
"MY BABY!" D'Void screamed.
He burst into ugly sobbing. Ugly, hysterical sobbing. Is there any other as satisfying? Ooooh, yeaaaaah. Mmmmmmmm. Aaah! Oh. Right there. Oh, yes. Mmm, yes! YES!
I fucking GET SO TURNED ON when old men CRY hysterically. Or anyone, really. Crying fucking turns me on so bad.
Oh, uh, did I put that into text? Sorry.
No, wait, I'm not. I want everyone to know. Every waking moment of the day. LOOK AT MY FETISH!
Every one of the expendable rebels got eaten. Somehow Helen and Manny managed to escape.
D'Void ran to his precious abomination and held it while sobbing hysterically.
"Well, time for a funeral," D'Void sobbed through his sobs. "I shall call the preacher."
"Dah-dah, me not dead, stupid!" Renessmee III grumbled. D'Void kept on trying to shove it...her...whatever...into an undersized coffin. "This shit dumb and redundant anyway. Me outta here, losers!"
Renessmee III broke out of the tight coffin and roared loudly.
D'Void's eyes widened. "IT'S A MIRACLE!"
He immediately converted to Catholicism. He crossed himself multiple times.
Satan sneezed.
Renessmeee III spread out huge wings from what could have been her back and ascended. She began to fly toward the scent of innocent and pure virginal blood.
"Don't wait up, DAH-DAH," Renessmee III called.
"My...little...girl!" D'Void sobbed while futilely wiping at the stream of bloody tears on his face. He sank to his knees.
An hour later, the preacher came in. He gave D'Void the Last Rites. D'Void died from eating too much radiation poisoned wedding cake. And, yes, he had shit his pants.
The End