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The Cooper Substitution Reaction.
Chapter 1.
Swinging into the parking lot, Leonard sat for a moment, before turning off the engine.
Penny gave him a minute, then asked "So, are we doing this?"
Taking a furtive glance up and down the street, his voice low and trembling, Leonard replied "I'd rather we went to the one in San Diego".
Giving him a fake scowl, she told him "I'm not going all the way to San Diego, just to buy another body painting kit".
Blushing, Leonard opened the drivers door, announcing "OK, let's do this".
"Now you're talking" Penny called after him, jumping out of the car, slamming the door, and running to catch up.
Pushing open the door, Penny strode in, Leonard following tentatively.
Looking around the shelves, Penny searched for a body painting kit, but couldn't see one on display, so, approaching the counter, she confidently asked "Excuse me, we're looking for a body painting kit".
Hearing Penny's voice, a straight haired brunette, dressed in a dark blue pinafore dress, standing with her back to them, made a quarter head turn, then snapped her head back toward the shelf, pretending to study a colorful box.
The lady behind the counter replied "Over there, on the table under the shelves of toys".
With a smile, Penny replied "Thanks", then strode over to the shelves, pausing a moment, before addressing the brunette "Excuse me, but could I squeeze in there for a moment?"
Still staring at the box in her hand, moving to one side, in a trembling voice, the brunette replied "Er, yes, of course".
For a moment, Penny stood still, trying to put a name to the voice, then, leaning closer, she asked "Amy?"
Turning her head, peering over her glasses, Amy blushed bright red. Her hand covering her mouth, she clamped her eyes shut, willing it to be a dream, then she mumbled "Oh God".
"Please" Amy gabled, "don't tell anyone you've seen me in here. It's the first time I've been here, honestly".
Putting her hand gently on Amy's shoulder, Penny reassured her, "It's OK Amy, there's nothing to be embarrassed about".
Penny was about to ask Leonard to back her up, but the deep blush on his face, didn't really make her case.
Amy was starting to panic. Breathing fast, she murmured "I've got to get out of here".
"Whoa" Penny announced, her hand still on Amy's shoulder, "since you're here, you may as well get what you came for". Picking up the box Amy had dropped, giving it a quick scan, Penny asked "Is this it?"
Nodding slightly, Amy confirmed "Yes, but I've got to go". Turning, Amy rushed through the door, into the fresh air of the street.
Penny smiled to herself, then, addressing Leonard, she said "I'm going to buy it for her".
Leonard thought for a moment, then, with a grin replied "delivering it should be interesting".
"Maybe you could deliver it for me" Penny suggested with a wink.
-o-o-o-o-
Forking the last of her takeaway into her mouth, Penny put the foil tray on the coffee table, picked up the black carrier bag from the floor next to the couch, and announced "I'm off to see Amy. I'll see you both later".
"If you're seeing Amy" Sheldon asked, "could you give her this please?"
Taking the paper bag from him, Penny took out a cardboard box. Opening it, a puzzled look on her face, she read aloud the title of the book "The Book of the Duchess?"
"Yes" Sheldon confirmed proudly, "It's a book of poetry, by Chaucer". A smile crossing his lips, a distant, dreamy look in his eyes, he went on "Amy loves Chaucer".
"Wouldn't it be better, if you delivered it?" Penny enquired.
"It probably would" he confirmed, "but it's Halo night, and I'd like her to have the book tonight".
Penny was about to question his decision, to put Halo ahead of spending the evening with his girlfriend, but she wasn't in the mood for a debate.
Putting the book back in the paper bag, she made her way out of the door, wondering why Amy put up with Sheldon.
Climbing into her car, she put the two bags on the back seat, fastened her seatbelt, and headed toward Glendale.
Turning off the main drag, she made her way along a side road, then, without warning, a pickup truck pulled out of a driveway to her right.
Slamming on the brakes, she screeched to a halt, as the pickup truck made off without stopping. Cursing the other driver, she took a deep calming breath and set off again.
Finally pulling into the parking lot outside Amy's building, she reached back and grabbed the black carrier bag from the back seat, got out of the car, and made her way into Amy's apartment block.
-o-o-o-o-
Amy sat at her kitchen counter, drinking her third cup of chamomile tea, her earlier encounter with Penny and Leonard still fresh in her mind.
She wondered if she would ever be able to look Penny, let alone Leonard, in the eye again.
Even more worrying, could she trust them to keep quiet about it?
She was pretty sure Leonard wouldn't say anything, since he'd looked as embarrassed as she felt, but Penny was a different matter altogether. Penny, she had discovered over the years, didn't get embarrassed, nor could Penny keep a secret, as she and Sheldon had demonstrated, with their memetic epidemiology experiment.
She recalled how it had taken less than 30 seconds, for Penny to text the fake news, of Amy's pregnancy with Sheldon's baby, to Leonard.
As she finished her tea, there was a knock at the door.
Opening the door, Amy blushed slightly, then, looking at her shoes, she said "Oh hi Penny, come in".
Taking a seat on the couch, Penny offered her the black plastic carrier bag.
Taking it, Amy nervously peered into it, her blush deepening, as she recognized the contents.
"A present" Penny confirmed with a smile, "but ten inches?" With exaggerated wide eyes, she went on "I'm impressed".
"I didn't know what size I needed" Amy replied, screwing the carrier bag shut, "how are you supposed to know?"
"I think you'll find it'll fit" Penny reassured her, "we're pretty flexible down there. Just use plenty of lubricant".
There was a long and uncomfortable silence, then Amy fell back on the good old fashioned ice breaker. "Wine?"
Penny grinned "I thought you'd never ask".
Filling two glasses, she handed one to Penny, taking a large gulp of the other one.
Swallowing a mouthful of her wine, Penny asked "You've never had one before?"
Shaking her head, Amy confirmed "No". With a sheepish grin, she went on, "and can we not use the word 'had' ?"
"Sorry" Penny replied with a grin, "Owned. You've never owned one before?
"No" Amy confirmed again, shaking her head, "I've got Gerard, but ….."
Swallowing down the rest of her wine, Penny said "Look, I can see I'm making you uncomfortable. I think I'd better go, but have fun with your flexible friend".
"You make it sound like an Access Card" Amy replied with a grin.
Letting Penny out, Amy begged "please Penny, please, don't tell anyone".
"I won't" Penny assured her, "I promise".
Closing the door, Amy leant against it. Taking a deep breath, she murmured "like I believe that".
Sitting on the couch, Amy opened the bag, gave the box inside a quick glance, then, stuffing it in the cabinet under the sink, went back to watching Pride and Prejudice on DVD, sipping her wine. When it was finished, she had another glass, then, when the DVD was finished, she took a shower and retired to bed.
-o-o-o-o-
Checking the oven for the third time, Amy retook her seat on the couch. She knew she'd started the preparations for date night way too early, and, with everything prepared, and the meal cooking away in the oven, she was bored.
Glancing at the clock, she noticed there was a good twenty minutes before Sheldon was due.
With nothing to pass the time, Amy got up, made her way to the kitchen, bent down to open the cupboard under the sink, then took out the black plastic carrier bag.
Taking a seat on the couch, with trembling hands, she took the box from the carrier bag, turning it in her hand, feeling its weight.
Opening the flap on the end of the box, she tipped the contents into her hand.
Grabbing it by the head, Amy stripped the clear plastic bag from it, and there it was, laying in her hand, rigid yet soft to the touch, flesh colored, and seemingly huge.
Her heart racing, and her palms moist from sweat, she briefly caressed it with her thumb.
Holding it by the base with her left hand, she wrapped her right hand around it, only barely able to make her fingers and thumb meet.
Using her fingertips, she traced the molded veins, pausing to circle the rim of the mushroom shaped head.
Spreading her legs, holding it in both hands, she pointed it, head first, toward herself.
"Jesus" she thought, "That's never going to fit inside me".
She sat there for a long moment, staring at the sheer size of the thing, and cringing at the thought of using it on herself, then she was shaken out of her contemplation by a familiar sound.
Knock, knock, knock, "Amy"
Knock, knock, knock, "Amy"
Knock, knock, knock, "Amy"
In a panic, she called "just a minute" then, grabbing the black bag, she bundled the toy into it, followed by the box and the clear plastic bag.
Throwing the carrier bag back into the under sink cupboard, and slamming the cupboard door shut, she dashed to front the door and pulled it open, inviting Sheldon in, declaring "Right on time. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes".
Putting Amy's flushed expression down to the heat of the cooking, Sheldon took his seat at the table.
Taking a drink from his wine glass of Strawberry Quik, he asked "Did Penny give you the present?"
Amy was frozen to the spot, her face hot with a deep blush, her breathing and pulse rate increasing. Silently cursing Penny for being a gossip, Amy nervously asked "You know about the present?"
"Of course I do" Sheldon confirmed, "it was my idea".
"Y-y-y-ou choose it?" Amy asked, shaking her head in disbelief.
"Well" Sheldon admitted, "Leonard was the one who saw it, but I paid for it. Don't you like it?"
Amy's mind was racing, She couldn't believe Sheldon even knew about such things, let alone would actually buy one.
Steadying her breathing, Amy asked "You bought it for me?"
"Certainly" Sheldon assured her, "I thought it would be the ideal present. Something to pass the time, while you wait for me to arrive, for date night".
Amy stared in disbelief. "You don't mind?"
"Of course not" he assured her, "It would help you relax and wind down, after a hard day in the lab".
"You went into an adult store?" Amy asked, her eyes wide.
"Adult store?" Sheldon asked, his eyebrows narrowing in confusion, "of course not. You know I would never set foot in such a place. It was in a book store".
Holding her hands up in front of her, palms toward him, Amy asked "Whoa. What exactly did you buy me?"
Sheldon looked confused. "A copy of The Book of the Duchess, of course. Why, what did you think I bought?"
Amy covered her mouth with her hand, "Oh God Sheldon, I'm so sorry. I thought you bought the present Penny got for me".
"And what present would that be?" Sheldon asked.
"I don't think you want to know" Amy cautioned him.
Sheldon thought for a moment, then he announced "I think I do. If Penny is buying my girlfriend inappropriate gifts, I think I should know".
"Under the sink" Amy muttered, cringing, tilting her head in the direction of the kitchen.
Opening the cupboard door and pulling the carrier bag out, Sheldon peered in, his eyes widening in disbelief.
"Penny bought you this? He asked. "Why on earth would she think you would want it?"
Amy blushed deeper, "Because she saw me trying to buy it" she confessed, "and I panicked and ran away, before I could pay for it".
"Amy" he asked, glancing back into the bag, "why on earth would want something like this?"
Fixing her jaw, Amy raised her voice, "because I'm sexually frustrated. Why do you think?"
Sheldon shook his head and huffed. "I must say Amy, I'm disappointed. I thought you were in control of your sexual appetite, like me".
"Well I'm not" she confirmed, "I have desires like the next man, sorry, woman, erm, person, and they're getting harder and harder to ignore. Something's got to give, before I burst".
Putting the carrier bag on the counter, Sheldon took a seat at the dining table. For a long moment, he stared at the wall.
"Amy" he begged "please don't use that", pausing, he searched for the right word, then, not finding one, he went on, "thing. You'll do yourself some permanent damage".
"That's what you are worried about?" she asked, her voice still loud, "that I'll damage myself? Not that I'm so desperate for satisfaction, that I'm willing to get it from a lump of silicone?
Sheldon sat at the table, his mind numbed by what he'd just heard, a cold shiver of fear running down his spine.
At the moment it was a lump of silicone, which was bad enough, but some day, he knew, Amy would want the real thing, and he'd lose her to someone willing to satisfy her carnally. Heaven forbid, it could even be someone like Zack.
"OK" Sheldon declared, his voice faltering, "I'll do it. I'll have coitus with you".
"You're kidding?" Amy announced, "from kissing once a week, you're going to go straight to coitus? Why?"
Nervously shuffling his feet, in a mumble, he replied "because I don't want to lose you".
Standing up from the couch, Amy crossed the room, taking a seat across the table from him. "Relax Sheldon" she reassured him, taking his hand in hers "we haven't got to that stage yet. I'm not going to dash out tonight, and find someone else".
Looking relieved, Sheldon gave her a quick smile, then Amy went on, "but I can't keep on like this forever. I need us to progress in our physical relationship".
"It doesn't have to be fast" she assured him, "but it needs to at least start to happen, because I can't wait forever. I'm sorry Sheldon, but I just can't".
Taking a breath, Sheldon smiled and asked "So, where do we start?
"Really?" she asked, "you want to start right now?"
Nodding, his smile broadening a little, Sheldon confirmed "Yes. Truth be told, I've wanted to do more for a while, but I was afraid to ask".
Amy gave him a fake disappointed look. "I thought you said you were in control?"
Sheldon looked sheepish. Biting his lip, he admitted "I lied".
"How about" she asked, "kissing with no time limit?"
Sheldon nodded "OK, I can do that".
Moving to sit on the couch, they turned to face one another, Sheldon's hands instinctively settling on Amy's hips, then he leant in, closing his eyes, his lips gently pressing against hers.
For a moment, they remained still, their lips just touching, then Sheldon moved his mouth, feeling the texture of Amy's lips, then he opened his mouth a little bit, and Amy nibbled on his lower lip, tasting the Strawberry Quik.
Moving his hands from her hips, he brought them up to her shoulder blades, pulling her closer to him, at the same time tilting his head, his mouth opening a little further.
Sensing his mouth open, Amy slipped her tongue between her lips, and pressed the tip past Sheldon's lips.
Amy expected him to baulk, but instead, he flicked his tongue against hers.
Needing to breath, Amy pulled back, but Sheldon stayed with her, leaning forward to maintain the kiss, until Amy put her hands on his shoulders, to push them apart.
Breathing heavily, a huge grin on his face, Sheldon declared "Wow, that was amazing. I want to do that again".
Taking a couple of deep breaths, steadying her breathing, Amy confirmed "OK, I don't have a problem with that".
Sheldon went to put his hands back on Amy's hips, then he paused, instead lifting his hands up to her cheeks, his mouth meeting hers again, but this time his lips were on the move from the first moment of contact, his tongue pressing against Amy's lips, until she opened her mouth, and Sheldon's tongue stroked against hers.
Amy's head was swimming, her body on fire. She'd never kissed anyone like this, and the tastes and feelings were driving her wild, her nerves taut like piano strings, as Sheldon's tongue explored her mouth.
Sheldon didn't want to break the kiss, the sensations and feelings were so amazing, but he had to, if only to take a breath.
Reluctantly, he drew away, inhaling deeply. "Oh man" he breathed, "that was incredible".
"It really was" she confirmed, "it was just amazing".
Glancing at her watch, Amy announced "Dinner's ready".
Sheldon looked almost disappointed. "Amy" he asked, "Can I try one more thing first?"
"OK" she agreed, "what do you have in mind?"
Instead of answering, Sheldon leaned in and kissed the left side of her jaw, just in front of her earlobe, pausing to inhale the smell of her shampoo and the subtle scent she wore, then he kissed along her jaw line. It was a little clumsy, a little rushed, but it sent lightening bolts tearing through her body, to meet at her loins, which twisted and coiled in a delicious torment, her heart turning summersaults, a shiver of excitement running down her spine.
Reaching her chin, Sheldon moved down, placing a single, delicate kiss on her throat, before lifting his head, to look into her eyes.
His breathing rapid, his head in a spin, he took in a deep calming breath, held it for a moment, then released it.
With a smile a mile wide, he offered "Your turn".
Pressing her lips to his jaw, Amy kissed along his jaw line, forcing herself to go slowly, not wanting to miss a single taste or feeling, then she slipped down to his throat, kissing around the side, feeling the pulse with her lips, then downward, to nibble at the skin where his neck met his collar bone, Sheldon wriggling and squirming under her touch, a low moan rising from his throat.
With a final, gentle nip, she raised her head, to kiss him once more, briefly on the lips. Steadying her breathing, she asked "Dinner?"
They chatted as they ate, Sheldon taking a refill of his Strawberry Quik, Amy just sipping at her wine, not wanting to dull her senses for, what she hoped would be a mind blowing farewell kiss, but Sheldon wasn't finished yet.
With the meal over, he mopped his lips with his napkin, then led Amy back to the couch, where he repeated his earlier jaw and neck kiss, but this time, he went much slower, tasting and feeling his way, learning from Amy, sensing the pulse in her neck, then making his way lower, kissing down to the collar of her T-Shirt, only to be frustrated by her over shirt and cardigan.
Sensing his frustration, Amy promised "I'll skip the cardigan and shirt next date night".
Sighing, Sheldon declared "I don't want to wait a week. How about tomorrow night?"
"Two nights in a row?" Amy asked, a look of expectation on her face, "are you sure?"
"Quite sure" he confirmed, "this has been the most incredible evening I've ever spent with you." "No" he corrected himself, "with anyone".
"It's been fantastic" she agreed, a smile lighting up her face "and yes to tomorrow night, but it's getting late".
Nodding, Sheldon slipped on his coat and picked up his bag, but tonight, unlike some previous date nights, Amy didn't need to remind him about their farewell kiss.
Putting his hands on Amy hips, Sheldon pressed his lips against hers, his lips moving against her, the kiss deepening until, feeling her legs buckling under her, she wrapped her arms around him, her mind awash with new and wonderful feelings.
Finally breaking the kiss, Sheldon reluctantly released her, turning to leave, closing the door behind him.
Turning the lock, Amy took a deep breath, raising her hands to her face, to feel the heat in her cheeks, then she pulled her collar to loosen it.
Pausing by the kitchen counter, she folded the carrier bag over on itself, putting it in the under sink cupboard, gently but firmly closing the door, then she headed for the bathroom, to shower, before heading for bed.