Title: The past is never forgotten

Author: Tempus Meum

Rating:

Disclaimer: The characters and premise used in this story are unfortunately not owned by me. If JAG was mine…the possibilities.

Spoilers: Season Five

Summary: Mac married Mic and headed to Australia for a new life, but things didn't work out as she had planned.

1

Harm,

How are you? It's been a really long time, too long actually. I guess the reason I'm writing this letter is to let you know just how grateful I am. You were there for me at times when I needed you the most; even when my way of repaying you was to push you away. When I was with you I could always be myself, I didn't have to pretend to be invincible. There were times when all I had to do was hear your voice or look into your eyes and it felt as though the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. You helped me to see that my life was worth living. You stopped me from making quite a few mistakes, but instead of bringing back bad memories by writing a list, I will just say that I am extremely lucky that you were part of my life. If it wasn't for your influence on my life I would not be where I am today.

I guess that's something you probably want to know, it may help you to understand what I am talking about. I was promoted last month, so say hello to General Sarah Mackenzie, Chief US Military Liaison for the Australian Defence Forces in Melbourne. Bit of a mouthful but I manage. If you hadn't convinced me to stay with the military ten years ago when I was ready to give it all up, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. You probably noticed that I referred to myself using my maiden name. After the divorce, which you may have heard about from Bud, if you are still in contact with him, I changed it. I didn't want to be associated with him anymore. I was granted sole custody of our children, Brayden (4), Samantha (7), and Caitlyn (9), so I gave them all the choice of keeping his name. Being the youngest I wasn't sure if Brayden would quite understand what I was asking. But he was the first to stand up and say that he wanted what ever I wanted, and when I told him I was changing my name back to MacKenzie he said he liked Brayden MacKenzie a lot better anyway. I told Samantha and Caitlyn that they could take all the time they wanted, but the next morning at breakfast they said that if I were changing my name they wouldn't want anyone to assume that I wasn't their mother, because I was the strongest and bravest person they knew. I had tears in my eyes all morning.

Anyway I'm probably boring you, so to make a long story short the Brumby family quickly became the MacKenzie family and after relocating to Melbourne we began our lives again.

I don't want you to think that I took the children away from their father or that I have turned them against him because I haven't. We made the decision to move together, I told them what moving would mean, and it's not as if Mic tried to stop us either. My lawyer told him about us moving and he didn't even flinch. He said goodbye to his children gave them a hug and let them go. If they ever want to see him I won't stop them, but they don't seem to be missing him at the moment. They talk to him on the phone every couple of days, but other than that they are doing better than I expected. Samantha and Caitlyn are at school, Samantha is in year one and Caitlyn is in year three. Brayden goes to preschool three afternoons a week, the rest of the time he is at the child care centre or he is in my office watching TV or playing with his toys.

Anyway I think I have lost track of why I was writing to you in the first place. I have finally gotten around to unpacking and when I opened an old box I found a lot of photos of you and me and of the rest of the JAG staff. It brought back a lot of memories, and I realised that I never did get to tell you how much you meant to me before we moved to Australia all those years ago. I know we wrote to each other for a couple of years and I don't know why you stopped but I hope I didn't do anything wrong. As I do not know where you are living now, I am going to send this to Bud and Harriet, so they can send it on to you. I will also include some photos of the kids.

Whether or not you write back to me does not matter, you probably have a family of your own. I just wanted to make sure you knew, that I have never forgotten you, you have always been with me. Even when you weren't by my side your memory has kept me strong, it may even have saved my life.

Love always,

Sarah.