"I'm so sorry, Harvey."
Those words were on replay in his mind as he beat the shit out of Stephen. The last look he sent in Stephen's way was a look of satisfaction but was also a warning, one that meant no one could hurt the people he loved and gets away with it.
As he made his way back to his office, he saw Mike. "Harvey, where did you—" The kid stopped mid-question after taking one look at Harvey's face. "You didn't…?" Instead of the accusatory tone Harvey expected, Mike's voice seemed to exude pride. "You totally did!" Yep, he was proud of his boss and he wasn't ashamed of showing it. "Up top!" But Harvey just gave him a look. "No? Okay."
"Good job today, Mike. See you in the morning." Mike was taken aback by the praise he received from his boss that he didn't know how to respond. "And don't be late." All Mike could do was nod. "Now get lost." Harvey watched as Mike all but ran to the general direction of the elevators.
He sighed. He glanced at Donna's desk but she wasn't there, neither were her things. He thought perhaps she just couldn't stay in the office right now. But upon entering his office, he spotted her coat draped over the arm of a chair and her purse right beside it. "I thought I'd leave early but I had to wait for you." He turned around at the sound of her voice. She was standing by the door, looking more composed than she was a few minutes ago. "Plus, I figured you'd need this." She raised the first aid kit she was holding as she walked towards him. She studied his face and saw the cuts on his eyebrow and lip and the bruise forming on his left cheek. "He got you pretty bad."
He scoffed. "You should see his face. And the men's bathroom." He smirked; he was obviously proud of what he's done.
Donna just shook her head but a ghost of a smile graced her features. "Sit." She gently ordered as she handed him the kit she was holding. "I'll get some ice. Don't do any more stupid things while I'm gone." She turned to leave.
"Oh, come on!" Harvey whined as he rolled his eyes.
Donna turned to look back at him. "Harvey, I mean it." Her serious look forced Harvey to back down. She knew fully well what Harvey was going to do when he stormed out of his office. The selfish side of her wanted, wished for him to do it. But seeing him physically hurt because of her made her feel guilty. She rummaged through the partner's kitchen for an ice pack and found one. As she filled the pack with ice, she sighed. Once again, tears threatened to form in her eyes – not for that British bastard but out of frustration for not having seen through his façade and for not having been the perceptive Donna she always was.
"You always just knew." Harvey's words had cut through her more than she expected. And she realized just now that it hurt because his words were true. "This is stupid." She told herself as blinked away the tears and sniffed.
"What is?" She couldn't help the gasp that came out of her when Louis spoke.
She turned to glare at him. "Damn it, Louis, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" She watched as his expression changed from curiosity into worry.
"Donna, what's wrong?" He walked over to where she was standing.
She realized that maybe she looked like death warmed over and she was sure Louis had never seen her like this before. "It's nothing, Louis."
"No, it's not. Who did this to you?" Louis looked determined. "Is it Harvey? Because God forbid if he—"
"No, Louis, it's not Harvey." She forced a smile. "You always assume that everything that happens to me is about Harvey or because of Harvey." His expression seemed like a 'duh' to her and she figured he's probably right. Everything about her is Harvey, no matter how remotely connected to Harvey it is. "This," she raised the ice pack, "is for Harvey. He got into a fight with Stephen Huntley and I'm kind of… in the middle of everything."
"Ah, the British invasion. I had a mock trial against my British counterpart earlier today and…" He trailed off, sensing that Donna didn't need the additional burden. "I'm sorry, Donna." This got her confused because he had nothing to do with any of this. "I'm sorry you're not okay." She gave him a weak smile and he smiled at her in return. "Come on, I'll walk you to Harvey's office."
They walked in comfortable silence until they reached Donna's cubicle. "Thank you, Louis."
"What are you talking about? It's nothing." Louis shook her head. After a beat, he continued, "Everything will be fine, you know? Whatever it is, Harvey will fix it." Before Donna could comment on that, he added, "Don't—don't tell him I said that."
Donna smiled. "I won't." She watched as he nodded his goodbye. "Oh, and Louis?" She waited for him to look at her. "Congratulations on winning the mock trial. And getting the associates back."
"How did you—" He smiled. "You know what, I won't even ask. But thanks, Donna. You'll be fine." Donna shook her head at the little skip in Louis' step. She entered Harvey's office and found him seated on the couch with a glass of scotch in his hand.
"What did Louis want?" He asked.
"Nothing, he was just being a friend." When she got a raised eyebrow in response, she said. "Oh, don't even start, Harvey. Now, hold this in place while I clean up the cuts on your face." She put the ice pack on his cheek and waited for him to take a hold of it before she sat on the coffee table directly in front of him, her legs right between his. "Come here." She gestured for him to come closer as she reached for the first aid kit and took out a cotton ball and some antiseptic. She watched as he winced in the process. "Back or ribs?" She asked but before he could answer, she dabbed at the cut on his eyebrow and he hissed in pain. "Oh, don't be such a baby," she said as she secured the said cut with a small bandage. She got a new cotton ball for his busted lip but when she was about to clean it, he pulled his head away. "Harvey!"
"What? It hurts!" He could barely move his jaw from the pain.
"The sooner we get it cleaned, the sooner it heals." She said as she reached for his jaw. Her touch was gentle that he almost didn't feel it despite the pain in his jaw. But he was well-aware of the feel of her skin on his. His gaze was now on her and he couldn't help noticing how close she was. He thought that one move towards the right direction would make their lips meet. He silently cursed himself for having such thoughts at a time like this.
She was fixated on his lips. "This cut seems a lot deeper." Her thumb grazed his lips and in an instant, he pulled away. If he hadn't, he'd have kissed her and she wouldn't have forgiven him. "Harvey?" She was confused by his reaction.
"It hurts. You're right, it's probably deeper." He replied, masking his earlier thoughts. "Do you think it needs stitches?"
"No stitches necessary, Harvey, you're overreacting." Donna smiled. "Let me just finish cleaning the cut so I could cover it up, okay?" As she finished nursing his wounds, she noticed that he closed his eyes. She stared at his face for a little while, her fingers still on his jaw. His face looked serene as if he was sleeping but the bandages and the ice pack by his left cheek showed the exact opposite. Once again, the guilt took over her. She let go of his jaw and said, "You didn't have to do this, you know."
His eyes shot open. "He deserved it. And more."
"But you didn't deserve this." She indicated the blows he received. She whispered, "I'm sorry, Harvey." She looked down at her hands on her lap.
He looked at her in shock. "It's his fault, Donna." His voice was hoarse but the sincerity was there.
"But I should have known, Harvey. I was sharing a bed with him." Her words had an edge. "I should have known."
As much as he didn't want to say this, he felt like he had to. "Donna, you like him."
"Liked," she corrected.
He nodded, "liked. When you like someone, I think it's only natural that you see what you want to see." He searched her eyes and he could see the surprise in them. He continued, "That you see only the good things because that's what you want to believe."
The corner of her lips formed an upward curve. "Is that what you tell yourself when it turns out that the woman you like isn't what she seems to be?"
"If you're talking about Zoe, she was everything she seemed to be. She was great, we had fun, but…"
"It wasn't enough." She finished for him. When he sent her a questioning look, she explained. "I just figured that had it been enough, had she been enough, you would've fought for her." He looked down. He had nothing to say to that because he knew she was right. "What about Dana?" She stood up and gestured for him to scoot a little so she could sit beside him on the couch; the coffee table wasn't exactly comfortable. She kicked off her heels and brought her feet up under her.
"You really want to talk about this, don't you?" Harvey knew she wouldn't just drop this conversation because she made herself comfortable on the couch beside him. She just smiled but he wouldn't budge. He wanted her to say it.
"Fine, yes, I do. You started the conversation about Stephen so it's only fair that I ask about your relationships too, if only to make me feel better."
He looked at her incredulously. "Oh, so my miserable relationships make you feel better?"
"Miserable? Please. You weren't the one who slept with a murderer." The bitterness in her voice was not lost Harvey.
"Donna—" Harvey started but she raised a hand to stop him.
"I don't need the pity, Harvey. Now, about Scottie…?" She urged him to go on.
Harvey shook his head. "Alright, alright, fine." He sighed. "If with Stephen, you saw only the good things, with Scottie, I saw only the bad things." As Harvey said this, Donna felt a little piece of her heart break for Dana Scott. She did like her. "I knew that deep down she was good but she's proven time and again that she can't be trusted."
"You don't think she could change? She was in love with you, after all."
"I know and I've thought of that, but she's been that way ever since I met her; she won't change, that's just who she is." He paused. "She'll always mean something to me but I could never love her, not in the way she loves me."
Donna reached for Harvey's glass of scotch. She needed to drink to that last bit that Harvey said. "You have to admire her courage though. Loving someone who doesn't love you back, and could never love you back… That's, heh, that just sucks." She bit her bottom lip and wondered, "But isn't it amazing?"
"What do you mean?" He was looking at her intently.
"You just know that it's love, that… that it's genuine love because no matter how much of an asshole the person can be, you'd never want to change him." Donna stared off into space with glassy eyes. She'd only ever felt this for one person and it sure as hell wasn't Stephen.
Harvey watched her expression through everything she said. "I know the feeling." And he did. He'd wanted Donna ten years ago, he'd wanted her five years ago, and he still wants her now. Watching her break her rule for a guy that wasn't him broke his heart. It made him believe that what she said about loving him as a brother or a cousin probably was true. That was why he initially couldn't admit to himself and to her that her relationship with Stephen bothered him. It hurt him then, and it hurts him now. But he thought to himself that he needed to just be happy for her. However, watching her hurt because of Stephen…he just couldn't help himself. He didn't just do what he did for Donna; he knew that she could fight her own battles. He also did it for himself, for his client, and for the firm; seeing Donna cry was the last straw.
All these thoughts were racing through his mind. What he didn't know is that at this moment, Donna was coming to an understanding about herself and her feelings. When he didn't get anything more from her, he leaned back into the couch. He sighed, "Why are relationships so…sucky?"
"Sucky? Really, Harvey?" She chuckled at that. "Not all relationships are sucky."
"Alright, name one that isn't." He challenged her.
"Hmm…" She narrowed her eyes, making a show of thinking hard. "Ours." The surprise on Harvey's face was priceless. She just gave him a look and he understood. That's just how they've always been. They didn't need words to communicate. When it comes to one another, they always just know.
"Ours…" Harvey echoed as a smile began to form.