Oh gods atop the transparent staircase, it's one of those nights again.

There she is. In one corner of my unlit room. My dead vampire girlfriend. Her long, blonde hair waved at me along with her hand. Her childish grin placated on her childish 13-year old self. Her cheek tinted permanently with an everlasting tint of blush and her magically enchanting eyes speaks wonder as it encroaches upon me. As her cold, soft hand is placed against my stomach under my sheet, I almost lost it. Her blood-deprived skin complimented her black, one-piece under an overcoat with a mink scarf crafted from the pigs of hells... probably... made me quiver, but the urge to scream remains

"Crow, darling," She called out to me "you're, like, fourteen or something—"

"Cindy, Honey, I'm like, ten."

Cindy shook her head. "Ha ha, that's not the point. Go work out." The pale vampire said as she slapped my unexposed stomach.

"Ok." I replied, stroking her long strands of hair back. "Now don't bother me, it's like, three in the morning here."

"See you soon, Crow." She pecked my cheek before disappearing into a red mist.

"Please go away."

So it begins, my journey of working out in the gym.

The first gym is in Viridian city, north of Pallet.

Yet the first step I take outside Pallet Town have my hand grabbed by an old man I frequently see with a little girl beside him. He spouts something along the line of: "It's dangerous to go in the tall grass", which makes me want to grab a few weed shears from the garage and just pave my way out, but his next proposition interests me. "Why not go into my lab? I'll give you a pokemon to start your journey. You're already ten, right?"

"Yeah."

"Good! At least child service won't blast me with papers this time!"

"I'm sorry, I don't really follow—" I was cut off mid-sentence.

Twenty steps or so later, we arrived at the professor's lab. The professor is greeted by his aides, but one female seemed to be a little bit more enthusiastic about him. As he dragged my hand into his own parts of the lab, I saw three pokeballs laid out onto a table on one side of the room and two mechanical devices on the other side next to a cupboard filled with pokemon-research books and volumes over volumes of photo albums.

"Gramps, took you long enough!"

Behind me was a boy whose spiky hair looked like it wasted him a couple of doughs. Other than his mean looks and his sweet baggy pants, nothing stood out. Though, I would like to have his purple collar-vest shirt, that is one snazzy shirt, but that is more of a personal taste. Anyway, he seemed to be grumpy for no reason, not to mention impatient. I know him because we're like the only kids in Pallet town save for two of my sweethearts, Amy and Diana, but still!

"Pst, you." Came a whisper from the Professor. "Do you remember my niece's name?"

"Yeah, I believe his name is CUNT."

"Oh, right!" That's it, this professor is senile. "CUNT! You're going second. Crow gets to choose first."

"Gramps, my name is not CUNT. It's—"

"Shut up, CUNT!" I said before choosing myself the center of attention. I inspected the pokeball and it contained a lively Squirtle inside (Which name I read from its label). I looked at the pokeball in my hand and the pokemon in my eyes. I know with this little blue turtle with me I can take on the world by storm! That's it, I'm naming him Storm. I let it out of the pokeball and stare deep into his eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Storm." I referred to him, which he nodded with a big grin. Good. "My name's Crow. I'm like, your trainer now."

The water pokemon squealed as it proceed to hug my squatting leg.

I was drowning in happiness when I turn to Oak.

"Holy cow professor, this little guy is major adorbs!" I lifted it up above my head and feel its hard, but light, shell on the palm of my hands. "Well, aren't you a precious little guy you, yes you do!" I shook him a little and he cried with joy in return, making me want to hug him, and so I did. I stayed like that for a while before I let go of him and place him into the ground, before I have him inside of the pokeball again in no time. "Man, Storm is the cutest!"

"Pfft, sissy. Real man don't nickname his pokemon!" CUNT scoffed as he chose for a pokeball to Squirtle's left. "I'll choose a Bulbasaur. He's a grass-type pokemon."

"Bro, that's low."

"Shut up!"

"Whatever." I said before thanking the professor and leave, but then, CUNT called out on me as I was about to leave. "Hey you, wait. Let's have a pokemon battle right here, right now, I'm going to steamroll you and make you my breakfast, a pancake!" He pulled out the pokeball containing his grass-type pokemon. "I'm going to beat you with my type-advantage! Get ready to weep... Crow!" He paused for dramatic effect.

Behind him, Oak slapped his forehead. My condolences for your stupid niece.

"Battle!" He cried.

We each sent out our pokemon. Mine being Storm, and him being his newly-earned, nickname-less Bulbasaur.

We each stared at each other, but CUNT there decides to attack first, tackling my dude a step back. Bulbasaur's entire weight seemed to hurt through Storm's shell as it made him almost flinch, but he held on and turned his head to me, anticipating what I should do next. I decide to take my chances by ordering him to lower the target's defense, if able. The water pokemon thought for a while before he whipped his tail towards the grass-pokemon, making it less defensive through his unbriddled confidence.

"That's it Bulbasaur, go for it!" Once again, Bulbasaur is ordered to tackle, which he did with a groan and Squirtle taking it like a champ.

"You can do it, Storm. Tail whip the Bulbasaur again!" Storm nodded before whipping his tail towards the Bulbasaur again, lowering his defense even more.

"Attack, Bulbasaur!" CUNT smirked, unknown to him is his fate of defeat.

"Now, Storm. Tackle that cocky bastard!" Something sparkled inside Storm's eyes as he charged toward Bulbasaur with a tackle. His shoulder connected with Bulbasaur's chin and sent the poor guy out of the lab via crashing against the window. CUNT's jaw dropped as he ran out to retrieve his pokemon, who fainted. The aides all turned to see me as if I am the second coming of a saint or something, before giving me a applause. I looked at Oak, which seemed to be holding in laughter, but it got control over his conscience and laughed anyway.

"You, I like you."

"No homo." I replied to the equally likeable foggy.

"Hey, if you don't mind me asking, I have a parcel waiting for me at a PokeMart in Viridian city. Mind getting it for me?"

"Hm... eh, sure, why not." I nodded.

With that, I left the lab, making quite the impression on the aides and the Pokemon professor himself.