Rise and fall. His chest would do that so evenly. His warmth always made it easy to relax. The way his arms would sit around my sides. It made it feel safe. It was like being at home.
The way his fingers raked my hair. The way he would find a way to make it feel so great. It made me sigh in relief against his chest. My eyes barely open.
There was a comfortable silence. I knew he wanted to say something. But he wasn't going to because he knew it would ruin the moment. Moments like this were rare. He wouldn't let these moments be ruined.
The room was cool and dark. He forgot to shut the windows. It didn't matter when his arms and chest were keeping you so warm and relaxed. I'm never one to share my bed even more rare to share it with Mathias. We used to long ago. When the sea breeze was our blanket and the tall raid ship floorboards were our beds. I used to nest myself in your arms like this all the time back then. How times have changed us.
Hearing his heartbeat was like hearing an old lullaby. The steady beats usually became more rapid when I shifted. He was always afraid it meant I would leave him again. Sometimes I would shift closer and bur my face in his scent. This time was no different. His scent hadn't changed. Not one bit. It reminds me of a time when I adored him and smiled more. He would smile less but what a leader he was. I still adore him even now.
Old memories want to rush in. Sleep wants to fill my veins. It was hard not to let myself relax in his arms. His caresses are so soft. I could feel his love. The longing to do this more often. The longing to hold me close. Its something I often dismissed, but in moments like this, it comforted my heart. It let it settle any doubts that he no longer loved me.
I can sense his gaze on me. He gently lifts my hand and presses small kisses on every fingertip. It's hard to remember there was a glass barrier the stopped the two of us from doing this regularly. It felt like it did back a long time ago. When we were both so in love. It let me drift into sleep, feeling his love.
We both knew it would only last until I woke up. The glass barrier would be back again and I would leave him aching again. I could always see it in his eyes. The sadness and longing. I wasn't blind. Just trapped in a glass cage. I have been for sometime.
Rise and fall. His love lulled me into sleep. His kisses cracking the glass cage. His heartbeat and scent let my mind drift completely. Sleep invaded my veins. And Mathias invaded my dreams.