Better in Time
It's been the longest winter without you.***
1. Teaser::::
bella p.o.v
Morning, it's morning time. Or is it 'mourning time'? I hate the mornings usually; I hate forcing myself up and doing things I don't want to do. Being around people who I don't want to be around and faking and feining emotions I couldn't otherwise force myself to feel. But you know what, today's different because last night was amazing. Last night you were here. You made me feel like a human being--you know, a living being that breathes, bleeds and feeds? You made me real again...is that why I'm wearing your ring on my finger? This piece of jewelry symbolizes our eternal love for each other it is a promise for another promise--our engagement. I flicker my eyes open and embrace the sun instead of fearing it like any other day. The smile on my face extends to a grin and I look to the other side and see you. You're beautiful when you sleep and I don't really want to wake you so I gently sit up holding the sheets around me and reach out for my robe.
"Good morning babe," you said and without missing a beat you kiss my cheek and I smile
"Morning Jason..." I say softly still smiling while tying the robe around me
"Ohhh trying to cover up ey? Let me see your body." He says while wrapping his arms around me and pulling me back into the bed
"You know I'd love to stay--
I can't even get out my words because you're attacking my lips
"--But?" he asks taking a breather
"But, I have work." I say and softly pushing him away and standing back up
"You're no fun." He says jokingly
"Yeah, yeah, yeah maybe if I had a swanky job like you I'd be able to have better options." I say walking over to the bathroom and grabbing my toothbrush
"Babe, why don't you just quit if you hate it so much." He beckons from the comfort of the bed
"Are you gonna hire me at your firm?" I say slickly
"You know what I mean. Just why not apply to like The Times or The New Yorker--a paper people actually read." He says giggling
"Ha-ha, very funny." I reply spitting my tooth paste out in the sink and rinsing out my mouth
"Bella, I just want you to be happy." He says popping up behind me, I watch through the mirror as he holds my waist and starts kissing me. Maybe this morning won't be so bad afterall.
I barely caught my train in time after stopping at the newsstand to grab a cup of coffee, I somehow managed to squeeze myself in the train cart in the middle of rush hour. This is one thing about living in New York I'll never understand. After doing two years at Seattle University I transferred over to Barnard one of the best woman's colleges in the country, so one would think 4 years and a degrees in Journalism and Contemporary History later I'd be going to my dream job. Not. I'm only 26 and it feels like I've already wasted the biggest chunks of my life doing things I have no interest in. I work for what many New Yorker's consider the trashiest newspaper in the city, hell, I've heard people say they'd rather read 'The Inquierer' before 'The Global New Yorker' because they wanted to read at least some fragments of truth. *shrug* I'm just the editor, it's not like I report I just to the hard work for the writers and tell them what they write is bullshit, but do they listen...not really. The pay's pretty decent I mean most starting editors don't get paid squat at least I manage to maintain a nice apartment by the park albeit Jason's name is on the lease. The coffee tastes fresh today, I guess that's the reminder I needed to stop looking on the bad things in life and worry on the positive like the fact my boyfriend of three and a half years proposed to me. I love Jason. He went to Colombia which is close to Barnard so we'd see each other everyday at the same tiny cafe in Morningside Heights. He was like the first male friend I had upon coming to New York it only seems natural that we hit it off. Hell, even Charlie likes him and Renee too Jason's easy to get along with, he's always done the right thing and the fact that he's rich is always a plus too. He has his own law firm in the financial district, him and his best friend run it and it has sky rocketed ever since Jason defended a victim of one of the Ponzi schemes and got her a settlement of over three million. The only thing that sucked was having to cover the story of my own boyfriend--they painted him like he was some Superman, I guess it was just all bit too wishy-washy for me.
I'm walking to work now and I'm greeted by a horde of protesters outside the building with posters and signs, they've been here since like week ever since we broke the news about possible sexual harrassment in P.S 34 high school; they've been pretty much just chanting
'New York Globe is a faux! New York Globe is a faux!' I swear I hear it in my sleep now. I manage to get past them and into the building.
"Hey, Bella." Bill the security guard greets me while checking my bags
"Hey Bill, what's up?" I say taking a swig of my coffee
"Nothing much, same old," He says giving me back my bag
"Enjoying the sounds of clowns?" I say giggling
"It's like music to my ears," He says smiling and glancing at the protestors outside
"Damn Bill of Rights ey?" I said smiling'
"I'll say--what, woah, is that a-an engagement ring?" Bill says staring at my finger
"Oh, yeah...um, surprise?" I say already feeling the impending barrage of congratulations--why can't I just be invisible
"When were you gonna tell me?" He says still shocked
"I was um I just didn't get to it yet." I say stumbling over my words
"Well, alright but make sure I get my invite in the mail for the wedding." Bill says laughing
"Don't worry." I say half giggling and walking away just wanting to shoot myself again.
' Maybe I should just take this damn ring off...no, that wouldn't be right, God knows how much the thing cost...fuck it I'll just stick with it.' I thought and then shoved my right hand into my coat pocket.
I walk out of the elevator and behold the sea of cubicles...another day at the office. I walk through trying not to directly look at anyone to avoid any hint of conversation. I just wanted to get my work done and leave the second 7 pm rolled around so I could meet Jason for dinner. I got to my desk and silently thanked God--I did it. I made it to my desk without having to say 'Good morning' to anyone 'yey!'. I was smiling brightly while taking off my jacket and settled in my chair and clicked on my computer. The welcome screen comes on and I enter my password but it won't go in.
"What the hell?" I say pissed off and enter it back in slowly typing but still 'invalid password'.
"Fuck!" I say annoyed
"Something wrong?" I hear from behind and am relieved to see it was Sarah Nessly, the closest thing by far I have as a friend here.
"Hey Sarah," I say softly smiling
"Hey Bella, I didn't even see you come in." She says walking over
"Yeah, I was running a little late, my stupid computer is acting up I can't get to my page." I say pointing to the screen. She peers her head down her eyes squinting
"Hmm type it in again slowly," She says and I follow her instructions until I feel her grab hold of me
"Oh my gosh is that an engagement ring!?" She shrieks holding my whole hand up and I can just feel the eyes of all the others zoomed in on me and I hear the multitude of footsteps comer up and over.
"Everyone Bella's engaged!" Sarah announced meanwhile I use my other hand to hold my forehead and shake my head in surrender.
"Congratulatuons Bella," I hear a sea of voices say all of the women stopping to catch a view of my ring. They all know Jason so now they just wanna check out the rock he gave me, as much as a celebrity I felt I couldn't help but feel like strangling myself to death.
"Bella, why didn't you call me the moment it happened?" Sarah says softly as the line of people walked away
"It happened out of nowhere," I say taking my hand back
"Last night? Oh goodness, at 'La travatorre'?" Sarah says blushing
"No, actually that was just a ploy, we stayed he said he just wanted it to be me 'us' and he popped the question over popcorn and a movie on the couch." I said smiling remembering how he knew my style exactly
"Aww, that's so corny." Sarah said bursting my bubble
"...Oh." I say and feel my eyes drift
"I mean, what's wrong with 'la travatorre' hell, I'd kill to get reservations there are you kidding me?" Sarah says shaking her head
"Well, I mean it's not all that special." I say softly
"Not that special, the cheapest thing on the wine list is $300 bucks only you Bella," Sarah says smiling and then walks back to her desk
I try to shrink back to 'keep away' form and look back at my screen and see I'm still not able to get on.
"Dammit," I curse to myself
"Oh, and by the way you have caps lock on." Sarah added popping her head up from her cubicle
...fuck my life.