A/N: A bit later than promised, but here it is!
Yuri is beautiful.
No matter what he's doing, or who's doing him for that matter, he's always the most stunning thing in the room. I don't take my eyes off of him from my spot on the floor, the plush carpet a bit uncomfortable, but it's nothing I can't handle. Another loud grunt rips through the room, and I see Yuri bite down harder on the pillow under him.
The client said 'don't make a sound', so that's what Yuri does. Then again, when he's like this, on his stomach and taking it up the ass, he never makes a sound unless specifically asked to. When he's with me, it's a complete 180, and I can honestly say that I don't mind it at all. I like the sound of his voice when he's withering underneath me, and how deep it gets when he's whispering filthy words in my ear as he pounds into me. It makes me happy, but right now I don't have the luxury to be happy...I need to be vigilant.
The only reason I'm even in the room is because I don't like the look of Yuri's client, and whenever that happens I make sure to keep a close watch on the situation. Worst-case scenario, Yuri could be attacked and I'd have to jump in and save him. On the other end of the spectrum, his client might try something he clearly didn't pay for, and then I'd have to quickly stop him or charge him extra. The latter is usually the case, but we can never be too careful, especially given our line of work.
My face twists in annoyance as the client's already brutal pace picks up, and I feel terrible for Yuri having to deal with it. The older man slams into him like his life depends on it, and it makes me wish I had tried harder to persuade him to let me have this guy. I nearly jump up from my spot in the corner when Yuri's hair his harshly yanked, but all it takes is a look and a small head shake from my former classmate for me to relax. I still don't like it. When the guy finally finishes, he roughly pulls out, and before taking off his condom, he gives Yuri a hard slap to his ass.
I grit my teeth and stand, watching as Yuri's client pulls his pants up and begins to walk over to the door. I make sure he doesn't get far. The older man snorts at me as he reaches into his pant pocket to pull out him wallet, roughly shoving a few bill at my chest before continuing on his way. I count it out, and thankfully, it's the right amount. As soon as the door shuts, I put on all three locks, my body relaxing against the wooden frame upon finishing.
Looking over at the bed, I see a completely worn out Yuri, and I'm once again filled with a sense of guilt. He looks a mess; his face is hidden in his pillow, body shaking as his breath comes out in hard pants. Yuri sluggishly reaches over to the nightstand next to the bed, and I can immediately tell what he's trying to get. I make quick work of the distance between us, my own fingers coming to slide his lighter and pack of cigarettes closer to his. As soon as he grasps them, Yuri slowly rolls over. He lets out a sickening groan as he does so, and it's hard watching him fumble around with the cigarette carton.
I help him light it after he fails repeatedly to get his lighter to work, and as he takes a long drag, I seat myself on the edge of the bed.
"Goddamn piece of shit..." Yuri breathes out, "Fucking me like a goddamn jackhammer..."
"You should've let me-"
"No." Yuri says, his harsh tone telling me that I need to drop the subject.
I want to, I really do, but it frustrates and scares me whenever Yuri takes on these rough clients in the name of 'sparing me'. I don't need to be protected...I understood what we were getting ourselves into and just what kind of consequences we'd face the moment I suggested we sell our bodies for money. It only came up because seeing Yuri so cold, so sick, while we were homeless on the streets after leaving town. The straw that broke the camel's back was when Yuri had to be hospitalized, and it was then I knew that something drastic had to be done.
I made a promise to myself that I'd never let Yuri go through that again.
Reaching over, I gently stroke his hair, though it's no surprise when my hand is swatted away. Much like wounded animal, Yuri goes on the defensive when he's hurt, and when I know this, I still want to do something for him. I stay silent, ignoring the small sting in my hand as I lie down next to him. He doesn't acknowledge my presence, merely taking a drag off his cigarette with shaky hands. His eyes flutter closed for a moment, only to open quickly as he winces in pain. There are tears in the corner of his eye, and I don't stop myself from reaching over a whipping the wetness away.
He merely glances over at me, but it's more than enough to please me. My eyes roam his body, inspecting the damage done to him so I know what I can do for him. Yuri's client had done quite the number on him; there's a number of bites along his neck, not deep enough to puncture skin, but deep enough that they'd remain for a while. His chest and torso aren't in any better shape, though as my eyes lower to his crotch, I notice something very wrong...
"...You're still hard." I mutter, a bit if irritation lacing my voice.
"No shit! With how he was fucking me, did you really expect me to come?" Yuri snort, taking another drag as he slings his arm over his eyes.
I stare at him for a few seconds before sitting up, my body scooting down so that I'm closer to his lower half. Crawling over his left leg, I comfortably position myself between both of them, fingers stopping mere inches away from Yuri's dick when I notice him staring at him. From the look he's giving me, I can tell that he's not mad. In fact, he looks like he's trying to figure out what to say to me, though the longer he goes without making a decision, the longer his problem will remain.
"...If you're going to do that, don't use your hands, you're much better at it with your mouth."
"Gee, thanks."
I make face at his comment, knowing full well that my handjob skills aren't the strongest. I don't dwell on it too long; instead I merely bring my head down and take in as much as I can of Yuri's girth. I don't bother taking it slow, because I'm not necessarily down here to make him feel good. I'm just trying to make him come, because his client didn't bother to do so. Under different circumstances, I'd tease him like crazy, sucking his dick so slow that he curses and bucks his hips while yelling at me to hurry up. Maybe we'd have time for that later, but now I bob my head quickly, sucking hard enough that I feel Yuri twitch below me.
I hold his hips down so he doesn't buck, because I know they're sore and the last thing he needs to be doing is moving them like that. My body shakes slightly when Yuri groans, and I'm suddenly filled with the desire to do more to him. I wanna pin him down, cover those bite marks his client had given him with my own and- I stop my train of thought right there. I let all of my frustrations out in a loud moan, one that causes Yuri to grab my hair and curse. He pushes my head down on his dick completely, the action causing me to gag slightly, a musky smell overtaking me as my nose hits his pubes. He keeps me in place, a few 'fuck' and 'shit's leaving his lips as he tightens his hold on my hair. Even if I can deal with the pain, it doesn't stop me from wincing at it.
I can't really finish him off like this, but when I feel his hips wiggle, I take it as a cue to let go of them. I automatically relax my jaw as Yuri pulls out and drives his dick back into my mouth; I know he shouldn't be moving like this, but my mouth is a bit full so I can't really say anything. I could easily try and physically stop him from fucking my mouth, but if this is the way he wants it, I don't feel the need to do so. If Yuri gets his way, he'll tire himself out, and maybe then he'd actually get himself a decent night's rest. His thrusts are hard and short, but my jaw still aches, partially from my mouth being open so long. Yuri is completely tense, the feel of his thigh muscles clenching and un-clenching against my hands welcome since it means he's almost out of steam.
He gives my mouth one last long, hard thrust before spilling over, and I struggle to swallow all of his come so I don't choke. His grip on my hair finally loosens and I sit up, coughing hard enough that whatever left in my mouth dribble down onto the dirty mattress. Now there are tears in the corner of my eyes, and I quickly wipe them away before he can see. Crawling back up to my previous spot next to a clearly exhausted, yet still smoking, Yuri, I make myself comfortable. I watch him pant, cigarette hanging out the corner of his mouth as his fingers racks though his bangs. He glances over at him, though this time it doesn't seems as distant as before.
"H-Hel-" Yuri coughs a bit, probably to help his voice sound less raspy, "Help me up, I wanna take a bath."
"You need to rest-"
"Flynn, I feel crusty, I'll sleep afterwards." Yuri says, grunting a bit as he tries to sit up.
Grabbing his shoulders, I gently help him up, because once Yuri has his mind set on something, it took quite a bit to change it. So I don't turn it into a useless argument, but I do mutter under my breathe that he needs to 'make it quick if you can'. Yuri snorts at me, commenting that if he wants things to be 'quick' then I had damn well better help him. I can manage that much. Once out of bed, I slowly help Yuri over to the bathroom, but regardless of how careful I am, he still winces. I feel bad, but I keep my mouth shut; Yuri has told me not to apologize for things like this, things that he brings upon himself.
However, I can't help but blame myself when it was my suggestion that had lead us here...
Once in the bathroom, I sit him down on the toilet seat so I can start the water, but before I can take a step towards the tub, I feel my sleeve tugged. I barely turn around before Yuri pulls me down, our lips meeting in a short but rough kiss. When we part, he buries his face in the space between my shoulder and neck, nuzzling his cheek against my bare skin.
"...You taste like cock."
"And you smell like it, so let me run the water."
Yuri gives me neck a hard nip for my comment, but does let go of me so I can get things done. It takes a little while for the tub to fill up, but once it does, I help Yuri into it. I lower him down slowly, and all the while, the sound of him hissing in pain makes my stomach knot up. Once in a sitting position, he leans back, his head resting on the chipped, old looking rim of the bathtub. When Yuri finally relaxes, so do I, my fingers coming to turn off the tap so the tub doesn't run over. Sitting on the floor, I just watch Yuri; watch as his body occasionally shakes from the pain that racks his body.
It's hard to look at, but I force myself to, because this is the reality of our situation. The filthy world we had become a part of is cruel, but it's nothing we can't handle. It's a much better life than the one we had back at that small town, back where even though we had a comfortable bed to sleep in and a hot meal three times a day, we just couldn't survive there. If anything, I'm sure the two of us would've died in that place if we hadn't left. There's nothing more terrible than the thought of living in this world without Yuri, because he's the only thing that keeps me grounded.
Reaching down into the water, I wrap a finger around a few strands of Yuri's wet hair, only letting go when the swats my hand away. He tells me to 'do something useful', and from his tone I can tell he's beyond tired. I give him a lop sided smile, because even in his exhausted state, he's trying his best to act tough. Instead of saying anything, I grab the bar of soap sitting on the side of the tub, and I don't have to say a word for Yuri to lean forward so I can get to his back. I rub the tiny bar against his skin, making sure to treat the bite marks, hickies, and scratches with care. That bastard has really done a number on Yuri's back, but there's no point in getting angry about it.
I move my hand away as soon I hear Yuri hiss in pain, and I scold myself for not being careful enough. Before I can apologize, Yuri tells me he's all right, and I bite my bottom lip because, no, he's really not. Then again, neither am I, so I merely smile and continue washing him. When things get like this, when I start to feel guilty everything, I force the image of Yuri bedridden in the hospital to the front of my mind. Even if this isn't the ideal life for us, what other choices did we have?
Relatives? According to Yuri, none of his family on his mother's side wanted anything to do with him, and the same went for the family on his father's side. As for me, I have no idea if me relatives are even alive; I wasn't allowed to bring them up, especially when my mother was in the room, so as far as I know I don't have anyone outside of my parents. What about getting a job and living an honest life? That was out of the question. An honest living cost money, something we didn't have a lot of at the time, and even if we got jobs, the two of us were underage and runaways. I didn't want to come to the conclusion of prostitution, but it was a matter of survival, and if survival meant having sex with complete strangers, then so be it.
"Fuck...I want a smoke..." Yuri mutters, and I halt my movements for just a second before continuing.
"You'll get them after you get some shut-eye." A small sigh escapes my lips, because even though I want him to quite, he won't do so easily.
"Can I fuck you when I wake up too?" There's a lazy smirk on his face as he says that, and I can't help but laugh a bit.
"Yes Yuri, you can have your way with me when you wake up. Just don't overdo it."
He gives me a small 'booooo' before sinking down into the water slightly, and I remind him that I can't exactly wash the rest of him if he does that. When he sits back up, I move on to washing the rest of him. I even go the extra mile and wash his hair, something I rarely do since Yuri always complains that I tangle his hair. He doesn't say anything as I slowly drag my fingers through his long locks, and he gives off a small moan as I massage his scalp. I smile again as Yuri relaxes, and I almost don't want to tell him that it's time for him to get out. Usually I'd let him just soak for as long as he wanted, but because he looks like he's about three seconds away from nodding off, I think it's a good idea to get him out.
Slinging his arm over my shoulder, I hoist him up, and Yuri leans against him as he steps out of the tub. I grab one of the towels hanging near the sink and give him a quick rub down, though because the room is so ungodly hot I don't have to worry about him catching a cold if he's still wet. Since he's still shaky on his feet, we take our time getting to the bed, and all the while Yuri clings onto my shirt for support. Yuri mutters that I need to burn the 'stupid blue monstrosity' I'm wearing, and I can only roll my eyes because it's the third time he's made a comment about it.
Ever since picking up the tattered, navy blue hoodie I'm wearing from the local thrift shop, Yuri has done nothing but complain about it. I keep telling him it keeps me warm, not to mention it only cost $3, so I can't really complain. I don't say anything as I help him into bed, and the moment his head hits the pillow, Yuri lets out a long sigh. Since he's lying on his stomach, I sit on the edge of the bed and gently rub his lower back in a circular motion. He relaxes a bit more, and that's all I can really ask for. I don't even wait for him to tug on my sleeve, or grab my head, or do anything that tells me that he wants me to stay; I merely lie down in the same position next to him, my arm coming to rest on his lower back.
"...Today was a shitty day..." Yuri mutters, and I scoot a bit closer so I can press my forehead against his.
"Yeah...we'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow is like." It's all I can say, because I know Yuri doesn't want to hear any kind of reassurance from me right now.
One of the few things to set Yuri off while he is in such a state would be something optimistic slipping out of my mouth; because with his body so racked with pain, why would he want to hear 'everything is going to be just fine' or 'tomorrow is going to the great'? Yuri wants the truth out of me, and the truth is...I don't know. There isn't any guarantee that the clients tomorrow will be better than today's, so the best we can do is wait and see.
Yuri mutters a small 'whatever', and his voice gives away just how tired he is. I watch as his eyelids droop a bit before fluttering open, and he does this a few times before finally closing them. I know he's asleep by his steady, even breathing, and I'm grateful that he didn't try and fight his fatigue. The hand I have on his back comes up and strokes his hair, and a small smile spreads across my lips as I gaze over at his softened features. When he's awake, Yuri only ever shows me a face full of sarcasm, toughness, or happiness that always masked the regret he felt. So to see his face in its natural, peaceful state brings me great joy. It's these little things that I love, and they make up for the fact that we've sunken so slow in the world.
But we can fight through it...we've come this far, so I know we can.
Looking back, I'm sure people must've found my attachment to Yuri odd, and they probably thought 'why in the world would the oh-so perfect Flynn Scifo associate himself with the likes of Yuri Lowell?'
I've always known about Yuri, then again, I don't think there was a kid in school who didn't. He wasn't exactly a delinquent; he just did whatever he wanted, but instead of seeing it as a form of freedom, the adults around him saw it as defiance. I know Yuri really didn't care about the opinions of others, but I'm sure it hurt him to be so stifled in a small town that didn't understand him. In that regard, I could relate to him back then, because who wouldn't want to leave a town that offered nothing for them?
The first time I actually spoke to Yuri was when I had caught him smoking in middle school, and even though I knew what the 'right' thing to do was, I hesitated. When he asked if I was going to rat him out, I simply said no, because frankly...what would be the point in doing so? He would've been yelled at by the adults, be sent home or suspended, and probably be yelled at some more. It'd only result in an upset Yuri who would continue to smoke. But before leaving I told him to quit for the good of his heath, and as I walked away, I knew he was giving me an confused look.
The second time I met Yuri, it was during our sophomore year in high school, and it was a meeting I'll never forget. That day I was asked to haul the basketball team's equipment over to the storage room, and because I was the captain, I had little problem doing it. Everyone else had gone home, leaving me alone to run around the court collecting all the balls we had used for practice. After tossing them all into the ball cart, I started to wheel them away, but it wasn't until I reached the second door to the locker room that I stop.
Pressed up against the wall was Yuri, and from what I could tell it was one of the football players pounding into him. I couldn't help but stare, though instead of asking myself 'what in the world are they doing?' I wondered why they were having sex in the locker room of all places. I was shocked obviously, but when my eyes locked with Yuri's, all I felt was...curiosity. He didn't freak out and make a scene, so I continued to stare, finding the way his face contorted in pleasure captivating. Above all else, I found the sight of Yuri so casually being screwed interesting, and well, different from the things I usually saw.
It wasn't until I got home that I knew...Yuri was different and I needed to get close to him.
The next day I sat across from him at lunch, but I didn't say a word. After three minutes Yuri tells me to 'talk or walk', and it was clear that he was irritated by my presence. I tell him flat out that I'm not going to say anything to anyone about what had taken place in the locker room, and then I state my reason for actually meeting him: I simply wanted to hang out with him. I admit that I was pretty embarrassed when asking him, and I hadn't expected him to laugh so hard at me that he fell off the bench.
I waited for him to stop, though once he did, Yuri told me point-blank that 'if I wanted to fuck I should just ask'. More than anything, I felt offended, because even though I had told him the truth, he clearly thought I was lying. Yes, I understood why he had come to that conclusion, since I had stayed and watched him get screed against a wall, but still...When he asked me what I had wanted if not sex, I merely shrugged and told him that I just wanted someone to talk to. I'm sure Yuri thought I was crazy, but it was true...I wanted to talk to him.
For a while, things were going okay, but one day Yuri just snapped at me; I had noticed that he seemed irritated all day, but I didn't expect him to tell me to 'fuck off and annoy my other friends'. I told him flatly that I don't have any...and he laughed. I was beyond pissed off; because he didn't understand that the people who surrounded me were in no way close to me. I knew that the other kids in school only spoke to me because of my status as basketball captain, and because I consistently scored some of the highest grades in school. None of them cared about getting to know me; all they wanted was to leech off my unwanted popularity so they could seem 'cool'. I didn't ask to be put on such a high pedestal, so I would've gladly relinquish my position if I could've.
Because of my anger, I ended up punching Yuri in the nose, the two of us getting into a fistfight that didn't end until one of the teachers broke us up. It takes the principle saying that the two of us were suspended for a day that a feeling of dread comes over me...I had fucked up. I feared returning home, so when the two of us were dismissed from school, I spent most of my time at the local park. I spent hours just sitting on a bench, knowing that I couldn't run for long because getting home late would just add to my offenses. The walk home was terrible; I was a complete wreck, the shaking of my body becoming worse the closer I go to my house. Because I knew...I knew my mother was waiting for me.
Upon arriving home, the first thing that reached my ears was my mother saying 'come here' from the kitchen. She was sitting with her legs crossed at the kitchen table, and I couldn't bring myself to stare at her for too long. Her gaze was ice cold, and deep down I knew that no mother should've looked at her son like that. When the sound of her chair scooting back against the floor filled the kitchen, my entire body teased up. At that point, saying anything would be useless, because she had already made up her mind...I knew this from past experiences.
She grabbed my left arm and pulled me over to the stove, my body limply obeying her whims until I felt the heat from the burner near my hand. I tried to pull my hand away, but the harder I pulled the deeper her nails sunk into my wrist. I begged her stop, apologized over and over again, but she continued to bring my hand closer to the heat of the stove top. I almost felt like crying, and it's in that moment of sheer desperation that I thought of a way to appease her. In my hysteric state, I tell her that if anything where to happen to my hands, I couldn't play basketball anymore. My mother stopped instantly, because the last thing she wanted was for her perfect, wonderful son to be removed from such a beneficial position because of her actions.
No...my mother wanted me to screw up on my own, because then she could be there to punish me for it...
I fell to my knees and cradled my hand when she finally let go, but of course, it didn't save me from getting hurt. She kicked me against the ground, and while on my stomach, she lifted the bottom of my shirt with the pointed end of her heel before jamming it in my back. I screamed, but didn't plead for her to stop, because I knew I had used up all her sympathy to make sure she didn't burn my hand. But I took it all, since a cut on my back was much better than having my hand scarred. When she finally stopped, I vaguely remember being told to go to my room, and on my way up, a part of me I had tried very hard hide began to rear its ugly head.
I'm sure that when I was younger, my way of thinking was normal. It didn't become warped until my mother decided that I needed to be better in the 3rd grade, that I needed to strive harder for a future that I wasn't even sure I wanted. At first, it merely started as thoughts of 'what if I pushed mommy down the stairs?', but as I became older and my mother's punishments became harsher, things changed. By the end of middle school, I wanted nothing more than to burn the entire town to the ground, but more than anything I wanted to strangle my mother with my bare hands. Those thoughts scared me, but what scared me even more was that I sometimes thought about actually doing those things. I knew deep down that I wasn't that kind of person, but I had become so...so corrupted because of my mother.
Yuri must've thought I was crazy for showing up at his place the day of our suspension, but I just didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts. I apologizes for hitting him, and I wasn't at all surprised when he only gave me a 'yeah, same'. He let me in after a few seconds of staring, and the two of use spent most of the time watching TV on the couch. I could tell that Yuri seemed irritated, but he didn't express said irritation until much later on. He kicked me in the side, demanding I tell him just why I had wanted to waste time with someone like him. So I told him the truth; I thought he was interesting, and because of that, I thought that maybe my boring, stressful life would change, even if a little.
My life until meeting Yuri had been so routine; from sun up to sun down, I played the role of good boy so my mother didn't harm me, I smiled even when I didn't want to around people that didn't care about me, and I tried my best to keep it together despite the fact that just wanted to scream. But when I was around Yuri, I felt like I could finally relax, finally unwind and just be me. I could see that Yuri had taken my words that day to heart, because whenever I didn't do well on something, he'd invite me over so I could loosen up a bit. It usually worked, expect once when I completely bomb on a test because I was just too tried from studying for it the night before.
I couldn't really focus on Yuri's usual attempts to make me feel better, because I was too busy fearing what my mother would do to me. It was why I was caught off guard when Yuri kissed me, and after a moment of surprise, I kiss him back. Kissing him felt completely natural, and even though I had no idea if I was doing it correctly, I kept at it. The two of us didn't stop until Yuri's mother came home. It was the first of many make-out sessions, and the more we did it, the more I craved for something more, something deeper. I got my wish when I get a bit too excited during one of our lip locks in his room; me being so hard from feeling Yuri's lips against mine was embarrassing, and I had tried my best to hide my erection while apologizing for having it happen.
Surprisingly, Yuri didn't tease me.
He just stared at my hands covering my crotch before asking if I wanted to have sex, and in another embarrassing move, I didn't hesitate to say yes. Our first time was a complete mess; I was so painfully inexperienced, so much so that came inside Yuri only after a few thrusts. I felt terrible afterwards, and I continuously apologized for my poor performance despite the fact that Yuri told me that it was okay. He didn't get angry at me for doing such a terrible job, he just pushed me back against his bed and told me he'd show me what to do. The feeling of having Yuri inside of me was amazing, and I admit that I wasn't paying too much attention to what he was saying since I was completely drunk on pleasure.
After that, the two of us had sex on a regular basis, Yuri teaching me what to do while I showed him that I had improved. It took until our junior year for me to realize that our relationship seemed to be more than just friendship and sex, because I was sure mere friends wouldn't act the way we did. When I had finally gathered up enough courage to confess, I was rather shocked with Yuri's reaction. He told me that I deserved better, that I deserved someone that wasn't 'trash'. I was hurt, not because he had said something like that, but because I had heard that very word come from his mother's mouth.
Trash...she loved to use that word when talking to Yuri, and even if I held my tongue when around her, I wanted to tell her that the only trash in that house was her. Worst of all, I knew that all of her hateful words cut Yuri deep, but just how bad wasn't made aware to me until that day. He truly believed that he was worthless, that he didn't even deserve some kind of happiness in his life. I had never seen him get so down on himself before, and I knew I had to put a stop to it. I told him that he was indeed worth something, and the he deserved to be happy despite what his mother told him. He never outright said he had accepted my words, but from the way he kissed me, I knew he had accepted my feelings for him.
Yuri never actually said that he loved me aloud, probably due to embarrassment, but he didn't need to. I could tell by the way he hung off, kissed, and spoke to me that what he felt was more than just mere friendship. He really didn't bother hiding how close we were around school, but people seem to be too concerned with why I was allowing someone like Yuri to be that close to me, rather than why the two of us were always together. It was so amusing to watch the faces of people I spoke to twist in annoyance whenever Yuri came up and began to hang off me, but it also made me angry because I knew that all thought Yuri was beneath me. Other than the judgmental eyes of our classmates, everything was going just fine with us.
Until our senior year...I was well aware of just how much Yuri loved his grandfather, so when I heard that the older man had died, the first thing I thought about was how much of a terrible loss it was for Yuri. He needed time to mourn, so I gave that to him, but after the funeral when I learned he'd be away from school for a week, I made sure to visit Yuri every single day to make sure he was all right. I made sure not to bring up the funeral, because if he had wanted to talk about, he would've brought it up himself. After a few days, Yuri lashed out at me, and I let him because I knew he was just let out all the frustration he'd been keeping bottled up. As he screamed at me, I just sat on his bed and took it.
When he collapsed to the ground in a sobbing mess, I was right there for him, listening as he told me that he couldn't live under the same roof as his mother anymore. He also told me that he had saved up enough money from part-time jobs to afford a bus ticket out of town, and upon hearing that, my mind went blank for a moment. Yuri...was going to leave...Honestly, I was happy he would finally be leaving behind the town that only held him back, but at the same time, I was worried for him and I...I wanted him to take me with him. Something was holding me back from actually telling Yuri how I felt, that I wanted nothing more than to follow him out of the town that offered me nothing as well.
It takes me until the day of Yuri's departure date to figure out just what the feeling was, and I couldn't help but laugh at how pathetic I was for letting it get to me. Fear...the feeling was fear, and not even fear of leaving, but fear of what my mother would do to me. Running away wasn't even on the same level as flunking a test, oh no, it was much worse. But I couldn't let the thought of what my mother would do to me outweigh the fact that I could no longer stay in a no-name town that was driving me insane. I loved Yuri, and I would leave with him because we didn't belong in such a place. So I packed up my things with that resolve in mind, and the only regret I had was that I'd be putting my father in a terrible situation.
My father wasn't like my mother; he had never harmed me in any way, and I respected him deeply for working as hard as he did to provide for his family. At the same time, I hated him being away from home so often, because it gave my mother free rein to do as she pleased. But leaving my father behind was a small price to pay for a bit of freedom. I made sure to pack everything I believed I'd need: clothes, toiletries, a bit of food, and a small amount of money I had saved up from my part time job. I made sure to work as quickly as possible while making a little noise as possible, because the last thing I had wanted was to wake my mother since it as the in the middle of the night.
As soon as I was out of the house, I sprinted to the bus station without looking back, and I had little intention of ever returning to such a hellhole. I managed to get my hands on the last ticket out of town, and after a short sprint over to the waiting area, I found Yuri. He stared at me in shock, and he didn't utter a word until I told him that I was going with him. I wasn't surprised when he told me to go back home, but...he lacked any true feeling behind his words. Every time he told me to leave, his determination didn't reach his eyes, and I could tell that he actually wanted me to with him. Yuri finally gave up when the bus arrives, and even though he looked defeated, there was a softness to his features.
When we found our seats, I leaned against Yuri and told him that he wouldn't be getting rid of me anytime soon, and he just snorted at me, saying that he 'figured as much'. As the bus began to leave, I knew that abandoning the town wasn't exactly the best or smartest thing we could've done, especially since we didn't have a plan, but it was a necessary move for the two of us. Soon enough I would adopt that way of thinking, because the two of us would engage in thing that weren't in any way 'right', but as long as the ends justified the means, I knew we'd be fine...
'And now onto our next story. There still haven't been any leads on the two missing teens from the small town of-'
"Ugh, are they still talking about that?" Yuri say while groaning, and I watch as he grabs the remote and changes the channel.
"Well, they haven't exactly found us yet, so of course they'll still be running the story." Yuri just rolls his eyes at my words.
"And we're going to keep it that way. I'd rather die in some back ally gutter than go back there..."
Before I can say anything, Yuri straddles my waist, and from the look on his face, I can tell that he wants to drop the subject so we can move onto something that doesn't remind him of our former home. I watch as he takes a long drag from his cigarette, and as he blows out all the smoke into the air, I take what's left of the stick and put it out. I reach over to the nightstand next to the bed, my fingers coming to smother the cigarette against the ashtray that sat atop it. As I do this, my eyes finally fall on the small, electric clock next to the tray, the numbers '7:30' flashing across the screen in bright, red lights. Ah, right...I have somewhere to be soon.
However, me leaving requires Yuri getting off of me, which is easier said than done since he's currently sucking on my neck. Frankly, I really like it. Because we just had sex no more than ten minutes ago, I'm still really sensitive, so as Yuri runs his tongue along my juggler, I can't help but shake. Before he does anymore, I gently push him back. He gives me a confused look, but before he can say anything, I quickly catch his lips.
"I have an appointment." I say upon parting, my body slipping from under him as I speak.
"And just what kind of 'appointment' is more important than getting fucked by me?" I feel his arms wrap my waist when I sit on the edge of the bed, and I can hear the annoyance in his voice.
I merely shrug, and when he groans and nuzzles my lower back, I know he's dissatisfied with the gesture. Yuri doesn't let go when I pick up my discarded pants and shirt, and I can hear him muttering incoherently, though I can only make out a few curses that slip out of his mouth. Since it's rather hard to change with him clinging to me, I tell Yuri that if he lets go he can do anything he wants to me when I get back. Even though I can't see it, I know there's a look of deep thought on his face because he's weighing his options.
Either he can have sex with me now, have it be quick, or let me go, and recharge while thinking about all the things he could do to me. I don't hold back a chuckle when Yuri releases me. I slip on my previously discarded shirt and pants, and when I look over my shoulder, I swear I see Yuri pout.
"Since you're going out, bring back something to eat," Yuri mutters as I slip the hoodie he hates so much over my head, "Something-"
"Greasy, I know. I'll see what I can do."
He snorts at me, and in return, I lean over and kiss him quickly. Before Yuri can say anything, I remove myself from the bed and head towards the door. I give a glance over my shoulder just in time to see Yuri give me a small wave, and I don't bother hiding the smile on my face. I tell him to lock the door before stepping out, and once down the hall, I spot the motel owner reading today's newspaper behind the reception desk. He looks up at me as I pass and I give him a small nod, the older man returning the gesturing before going back to his previous activity.
There's a chill in the afternoon air, and I expect nothing less since it's already October. It's hard to believe that it's already been six months since Yuri and I had left that horrid little town, and quite frankly, I don't miss a thing about it. Do I regret things? Oh course; I regret leaving my father to deal with the damage, to deal with my mother, the fear of not knowing if I was okay, and the assumption that my leaving might have been his fault. I've thought about calling him, just to tell him that no, the fault did not lie with him. I shake my head a bit, ridding myself of such thoughts as I make my way down the street. Dwelling on the past didn't benefit me, nor does it put food in my or Yuri's mouth.
I walk briskly for a couple of blocks, my hands buried deep within the pockets of my hoodie since they are sensitive to the cold. My destination is a small café a few blocks away, and I only know the way because Yuri and I have been in this town before. We've come back because the police activity has died down, because the last thing we need is for the cops to recognize us. They'd drag us back to that hellhole in a heartbeat. Round the corning, I bury my hand deeper in my pocket, because the mere thought of going back dampens my mood. Damn...I shouldn't think like this, especially since I need to be strong and keep smiling for Yuri's sake. That's not to say that Yuri is weak, but he's a lot like me: we both need some kind of pillar of support in order to function properly.
We're lucky to have each other for that, because if we were alone...I'm not entirely sure what would've become of us.
When I finally reach the café, I quickly step inside and rub my chilled cheeks. It's much warmer in here, and I take a moment and let the heat sink into my body. Since it's rather small, I don't have to look far for the person I'm meeting; she sits at a table near the back, looking a bit exhausted as she sips on what I'm sure is coffee. I remember her saying she had just gotten off her shift when I called, but despite me telling her not to come if she was tired, she told me we could meet anyways. Once close enough I take the seat across from her and apologize for my lateness, but she just smiles and waves it off.
"Don't worry about it, I haven't been waiting long." She says, and before she can ask the question that is clearly written on her face, I speak.
"Yuri is back at the motel. I'm sure he would've wanted to come if I told him I was meeting his favorite nurse." I say with a small smile, and she laughs a bit.
"I highly doubt the words 'Judith is my favorite nurse' ever came out of Yuri Lowell's mouth. Now 'second favorite person', that I can believe."
My smile brightens a bit, because even if she hasn't known us for long, she certainly has Yuri's personality pinned. Judith had been the nurse that took care of Yuri when he had fallen ill, and I owe her a great deal since she didn't report us to the police despite knowing that we were runaways. It two months until we met her again, and upon asking why she had gone so far to help two kids she didn't even know, she simply told us that she 'understood'.
"By the way, how is Yuri? Besides giving you a headache every now and then I mean," I don't mean to give off a short burst of laughter, but I won't deny that Yuri is a pain sometimes.
"Just fine...though he has the habit of taking on things so I don't have to..." My voice drops a bit at the end, and I try my best to keep the irritation I feel from showing.
I don't need to explain myself...Judith knows exactly what I'm talking about. During our second meeting, Yuri made no attempt to hide that we were whoring ourselves out for money, and it was almost like he was challenging Judith to do something. However, she just smiled and said 'I see'. It was then that Judith told us about her former years of prostitution, how she had quit only because her pimp died in an argument about money with someone, and how she had met her current boyfriend at a rehabilitation center that specialized in helping people like her reinvent themselves. Yuri looked incredibly guilty after hearing about Judith, but she reassured us that there was nothing for us to feel sorry for.
Judith words were 'what's done is done'.
"I'm sure you do that same for him, right?" Judith asks before taking a sip of her coffee, and the only thing I can do is nod, "...But that's not what you wanted to talk to me about."
She's right; my reason for calling her up wasn't so we could talk about my hypocritical frustration. I straightened myself up, my hands coming to claps together as I lay them on the cool surface of the table.
"I don't care how harsh it is, I want your honest opinion...what do you think of the situation Yuri and I are in...? I wanted an objective view, because if I had asked Yuri or brought him along, he'd just call me dumb and dismiss it..."
Judith looks at me in surprise for a quick second before linking her fingers together, her chin coming to rest atop of them. I don't say anything as she just stares, and truthfully, I'm not afraid of what she's going to say. If anything, I'm disappointed in myself; lately, I've done nothing but second-guess myself. I began to wonder if Yuri and I could really continue with things, if the two of us were strong enough to endure selling ourselves. I know there's an end to all of this, because we certainly couldn't keep pleasuring people for the rest of our lives to make a living, but...I wanted things to get better now. I knew something had to be done when the thought of turning ourselves in to the police floated into my mind.
"Honestly? What you two do scares me...Of course because the two of you are minors engaged in prostitution, but also because..." She looks like she's hesitating, but I give her a small nod to signal that it's all right to keep going, "...Because it makes me wonder: what could've possibly happened to make you two turn to the streets like this? What could've been so bad that the only option left was leaving home?"
I clinch my hands a bit tighter, but other than that, I don't give off any other reactions. Yuri and I had never actually explained to Judith just why we had left home; merely saying that we were having 'issues' that the two of us could no longer tolerate. It's not that I don't trust her, it's just...she'll just tell me what I already know. Unlinking her fingers, she picks up her coffee cup once more, but before taking a sip, she says:
"Regardless...you two are strong, so you'll be fine."
"What makes you so sure of that-?"
"Because you wouldn't be sitting here if you weren't."
Placing her mug down, Judith gives me a soft, yet sad, smile. I understand where it's coming from, because despite her reassurance that everything would be okay, Judith is worried about us. However, I don't want to lie to her...so I just smile and tell her that we'll 'do our best'. After that, the conversation shifts, and the air around us is a lot less serious and tense. She teases me about Yuri, asking if my lateness was due to being 'preoccupied' with him. Well...she isn't wrong...but I don't tell her that. I change the subject, asking how Raven, her boyfriend, is doing. She giggles while extending her left hand toward me, and I finally take notice of the gold band on her ring finger.
"Oh wow..." I say, completely stunned, "I never took Raven for the marrying kind."
"Neither did I. So imagine my surprise when he takes me out to an extra fancy dinner and proposed to me." The look on her face softens as she brings her hand back, "He said 'I know I've got a lot of baggage, and I'm in no way the perfect guy, but, would you allow me honor of marrying you despite all that?', and that's when I started crying."
I'm happy for them, and even though I know I shouldn't, I allow myself to think that maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay. If Judith and Raven could make a better life for themselves, did that mean there was a chance for Yuri and I? I really hope so...
I stay for ten more minutes before deciding to go, but before doing so, Judith insist that I order something to take back to the motel. I'm pretty hesitant about it since Judith is the one paying, but I end up ordering two sandwiches, two bottles of water, and a piece of cake for Yuri. She tells me not to worry about paying her back since it was the 'least she could do for us'. Upon leaving, I shove my hands deep inside my hoodie, but despite the chill, I actually feel...really good. Talking to Judith had calmed my anxious heart, and as I walk, I can feel a small smile tugging at my lips.
I'm grateful we met Judith, grateful that there was someone who understood our situation.
Because I'm not in a rush, the walk back takes a little longer, and wonder I wonder if Yuri is worried about me. I never mentioned how long I'd be gone...and it's not like I can call him since we never bother to learn the phone numbers for the motel rooms. Well, if he gets too mad at me, I'll just bribe him with cake, since it's surprisingly easy to calm him down if sweets are involved. Once back, I greet the motel owner once more, and like before, all I'm given is a small nod. I don't bother to knock upon reaching the room, though I do laugh a bit when entering.
Lying on the bed, hand resting on his exposed stomach, is a completely knocked out Yuri. Now I know I'd taken too long. Closing the door softly behind me, I walk over and kneel beside the bed, my fingers coming to brush a few strands of his long locks out of his face. I recall him saying something about cutting his hair short if we're ever strapped for cash, and almost like he had read my mind, Yuri pinched my cheek and said 'it's only hair, it'll grow back'. Now that I think about it...I never got him back for that.
My fingers remove themselves from his hair to move down towards his cheek, and I briefly wonder if I'm being a bit childish about this. Well, doing things like this occasionally didn't seem like it'd be a problem, though before my thumb and index finger could even touch skin, Yuri's hand comes up to grabs my wrist.
"What are you doing...?" Yuri mutters, his left eye cracking open to stare at me.
"Oh nothing...how long have you been awake?" I say while removing my hand from his grip, and he snorts at me.
"As soon you came in." I watch as Yuri sits up and stretches, "So where'd you go?"
"To see Judith."
A pillow slams into my face, and I end up falling backwards. I'm thankful the back of my head doesn't hit the cheaply carpeted floor hard, but my face does throb a bit due to the sheer force of the throw. Yuri has a mean throwing arm.
"Asshole, why didn't you bring me along if you were going to see her?"
"I just wanted to-"
Another pillow hits me just as I begin to sit up. Okay, I should've expect that. Before Yuri gets anymore irritated, I hold up the bag of food Judith had bought for us as a peace offering. Yuri stares for a moment before crossing his arms, still looking rather pissed off but less likely to throw anything else.
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to talk to her alone...I brought cake if that helps." I tack on the end just in case the sandwiches don't win him over.
He glares at me for a few seconds before removing himself from the bed, and he nudges my side with his foot before taking the bag. He complains, just like I knew he would, about the lack of greasy food, and I tell him that sometimes it's okay to eat things that haven't been fried or made of questionable meat. He snorts again and plops down next to me. Pulling out one of the sandwiches, he asks me what Judith and I talked about, and I know if I don't say anything, he'll just get mad at me again. I really don't have a problem with telling him now, mostly because talking with Judith had driven away my fear of talking to Yuri about my anxieties.
Even if he doesn't take me seriously, or plays if off like it's nothing...I should still talk to him about these things.
Yuri just listens intently next to me, munching away on his sandwich is I continue to talk about my conversation with Judith. He does choke a bit when I tell him Judith and Raven are getting married, but other than that, he just sits in silence. When I finish, Yuri tosses the now empty container into the trash, but before going for his cake, he leans in and kisses me. It's not like his usual kisses, the forceful ones that, despite me liking, make me worry that my lips will bruise. No, this one is much softer, and as I lean into it, Yuri cups my cheek.
"You don't have to keep smiling just for my sake, Flynn...We're in this together, so I don't mind sharing some of that burden."
Just hearing Yuri say that, say that the burdens inside of me weren't just mine, but ours, makes my chest tighten. I bury my face in the space between Yuri's neck and shoulder, because I don't want him to see the look of pure contentment on my face. He's right...we're in this together, and that meant sharing the things that weighed heavily on our minds with one another.
I'm sure that as long as we have one another, and as long as we rely on one another, we could- no...we will survive in his harsh world.
"I love you, Yuri..."
"Shut up and let me eat my cake."