The Tomb of Unas
By Victor Rockatansky
Based on "The Tomb of Sammun-Mak" by an Anonymous Author
Disclaimer: I do not own the properties mentioned within this story, though Financial donations would be Greatly Appreciated
Table of Contents:
Introduction
Chapter 1: The Challenge of the Sphinx
Chapter 2: Interrupted
Chapter 3: The Train to Egypt
Chapter 4: Interrupted Again
Chapter 5: In The Tomb
Chapter 6: Another Interruption
Chapter 7: The Standoff
Chapter 8: Interrupted Yet Again
Chapter 9: The Journey Home
Chapter 10: Interrupted Once More
Chapter 11: The Big Reward
Epilogue
Introduction
After a Long Hard Night Completing Contracts, Issei Returned to the Old School Building. "I'm Back.
Whew! What a Day!" Issei Said, Exhausted. "Good." Rias Replied. "Something Wrong, Prez?" Issei Asked.
"The Gremory Family Has a Long History, But Nobody will hear My Side of What I Have to Say!" Rias
Said, in a Depressed Voice. "If it Makes you Feel any Better, I'll Listen to Your Side of the Story." Issei
Replied. "Sit Down, Then." Rias Said, Gesturing in the Direction of one of the Couches in the Chamber.
Rias Placed her Hand on Her Lap, as Issei Rested his Head on her Thighs. "It All Started with My Great
Grandmother Andras. She Was in Love with YOUR Ancestor, You Know." Rias Said. "You Mean Great
Grandpa Goro?" Issei Asked. "Exactly. Going on, They Were Very Happy Together." Rias Said. "You Do
Realize I Still Want Him, Right, President?" A Voice Sounded from behind the Other Couch." "Words
Hurt, Asia! Now, Where were we….Oh, Yeah! I Even Remember Hearing about an Adventure That Goro
and Andras Went on Hundreds of Years ago, Long before We Were Born."
Chapter 1: The Challenge of the Sphinx
In a Worn, but Well-Kept Theatre, Goro and Andras manage to Sneak inside into the Auditorium. "Did
the Usher See us?" Andras Whispered. "Naw, He's Still Fishin' For us Under the Concession Stand. Shh.
Show's About to Start!" Goro Replied. A Mysterious Conjurer Wearing Kaleidoscopic Robes Appeared
before the Audience. "Greetings to You All, Ladies and Gentlemen, Believers of the Bizarre, Searchers of
the Unknown! Devotees of the Uncanny! Allow me to Introduce Myself. My Name is Morrisawa Kenji. I
Stand Before you. presenting a Discovery of Earth Shattering Proportions! Behold, The SPHINX!". The
Conjurer Announced in a Loud, Ceremonious Voice. "Aaaaack! It's Horrible, Andras! The Face of Pure
Evil!" Goro Screamed, as he Turned, to Notice a Tall, out-of-shape Old Man, Drinking a Hot Saki, and
Eating Chicken Balls. "The Stage is Designed that Way, Silly!" Andras Replied. "It is Rumored that the
Sphinx will Yield its powers to Those Who Equal the Power of Unas Himself! Might YOU be that Favored
individual?" Kenji Recited, as 2 Human Males Dressed as Mafiosos Pop up from under the Seats. "I Have
Arrived to issue a Challenge. What you See Before You, is not a mere Pasteboard Facsimile, but a Perfect
Recreation of the Sphinx itself! To the One who Makes it Through the Gate, I offer 2 Tickets to Egypt,
and the Chance for the Adventure of A Lifetime!" Kenji Finished. "Did you Catch any of that?" Andras
Asked. "Big Door Prize for The Guy Who can Bust through that thing! Since He's offering 2 tickets, why
don't You Come With Me?" Goro Replied. "Why, Busting Difficult Things is my Speciality!" Andras
Replied. "You Read my Mind." Goro Said. "Yeah. That's What I Do. With my Trusty Dragon Bow, and
Your Boosted Ventriloquism, We'll be Defended in no time!" Andras Said, as Goro Approached one of
the Mafiosos. "Do You Have any advice on how to Beat this Challenge?" Goro Asked. "Say, Nips! How '
bout You and the Broad take a NICE walk Across the Akinada Bridge! Crosswise, and Keep Goin'!" The
Mafioso Replied. "You don't Look Intimidating to me, Commoner." Andras Replied. "The NAME is "
Grease Palms" Spleendecker, Stupid! Now Go Away!". Andras Laughed Cruelly at Grease Palms, in
Response. "Are you Makin' Fun of Me?!" Grease Palms Responded, as He Brandished a 1928 Thomson
Submachine Gun. "Maybe. Don't Let my Humanlike Appearance Fool You!" Andras Shouted, as She
Unfurled Her Wings. "You! You're Not Human! Nobody can Do That!" Grease Palms Replied. "Yes.
Because I'm not Human at All. I'm a Devil!" Andras Replied. Grease Palms Shot Andras in the Right Eye.
"Devils Aren't Real, Sister. If there's one thing I Hate more than Mugs, it's Occultists!" Grease Palms
Shouted. "Are You All Right?" Goro Asked. "Just Shaken Up! Maybe You should do the Talking." Andras
Said. "Lemme See What I can do about that Scroll, first." Goro Said, as he Went to the Scroll to take a
Look. "G'wan, Beat it, Mister!" The Servant Ordered. "Yeah, Quit Blockin' the View!" Grease Palms Said.
Goro Then Said "You're Pretty Small, for a Thug.". A Wiseguy, Huh? Ain't You Ever Heard of Personal
Space? Beat it before you get beaten by "Brass Knuckles" Wallace!". "Fair Enough." As he turned to
Read the Scroll, which stated that there was a technique in his boosted gear he could use, called "Scale".
"What in Seven Hells are You Doing with That?" Andras Asked. "This Technique could be Helpful.
Knowhatimsayin'? Goro Replied but before he could read the tutorial, He Was interrupted by the Other
Servant, as Grease Palms Gestured in the Direction of Kenji, followed by the Old man Distracting Kenji,
as the Servant Snatched the Scroll and Replaced It with a fake, before The old man Finished his
Conversation. "Do you Think this is a Copy of the Same thing?" Goro Asked. "Let's Give it a Try." Andras
Replied. Unfortunately, The Scroll Was Blank. "We Gotta Find where the Servant Went!" Goro Said, as a
Buxom Egyptian Woman dropped her Newspaper and Followed the Servant. "Hey Yankee! Where'd
your Friend go after he Stole the Scroll?" Goro Asked, Demandingly. "He Went home to give it a—
Whaddya mean "Stole"? Nobody took no Scroll!" Grease Palms Replied. "Maybe the Old man'll know."
Goro Said. "Excuse me Sir-" Goro Said, Approaching the Old man, before being interrupted. "No! Ain't
no More Bathroom Breaks until You Finish the Job, Ya Follow?" The Old Man Yelled. "We're not your
Servants." Andras Said. "Huh? Oh. I got nothin' to say for the Papers." The Old man Responded. "White
Beard, Round nose, Monocle, Haven't we Met Somewhere before?" Goro Asked. "Fat Chance! I don't
have a habit of Goin' into the Greasy dives of this Town, but no doubt you've seen my Mug in your
mornin' papers. "Akira Otanashi Robs Bank", "Akira Otanashi Arrested", "Akira Otanashi Escapes".
Otanashi Replied. "Akira Otanashi Caught in Brothel", "Akira Otanashi to be Electrocuted" Goro Said.
"Mind if I have a Chicken Ball, Otanashi?" "leamealone." Otanashi Replied. Andras Sighed in
Dissapointment. "Sorry. It's Just, My Fiancée Hasn't Eaten in 72 Hours." Goro Explained. "and…You had a
kindly Face" Whimpered Andras. "Oh, for the Luvva…Fine, but Just one, Savvy?!" Otanashi Yelled.
"Noted." Andras Said, as Goro Snuck more from the Jar, and to keep up the Disguise, Andras took one
Chicken Ball, as Promised. Where'd Your Underling Run off to?" Andras Asked. "What do You Care?! He
went Home!" Otanashi Yelled. "Where is "Home"?" Goro Asked. "None of your Beeswax!" Otanashi
Yelled. "I Don't Get it. What're you Doing Here?" Goro Asked in Confusion. "What's to Get? If you Gotta
Know, That Fancypants Guy over There Says He's Made a Big Discovery of a Treasure-Related Subject,
and I make it a Rule to Snatch any Cash Possible, OK?!" Otanashi Said. "Why Aren't You Trying it?" Goro
Said. "That's What He's For." Otanashi Replied, as he Gestured in Grease Palms' Direction. "What's the
Matter? Scared?" Goro Replied, Mockingly. "Scared? Akira Otanashi is Scared of Nuttin'!" Otanashi
Shouted as he Put 2 Chicken Balls in the Nose of the Sphinx, before being knocked back by a magical
force. "Fell Down, Did Ya? Here, Lemme Help Ya Up" Said Grease Palms, as he Approached his
overturned Leader. "Get your Visers away from me, you Stupid Wash-up! If You had the Balls Necessary
to Do Your Job, I wouldn't be Down Here! You're an Idiot! Capische? I Can't Even Believe You were made
into the Yakuza in the First Place! Ya Know Why I Give?! I'll Tell Ya Why I Give! 'Cause You're my Stinkin'
Nephew, That's Why, and You Know that! You're not Smart Enough to be a Mafioso! You're Crazy!
Reckless! The Whole Town's Nuts! Well, That Figures! I'll Tell You What! You Can Pack Your Things and
GET OUT OF HERE! I never Want to See You Again! You're Fired! Understa—Put that Decoy Down, It's
not Yours! I Don't Care If You Made It! It's my Personal Property! Why You Lousy Little Tykes! You
Blithering, Bumbling, Miserable—Someone Pour me a Hot Saki!" Otanashi Admonished, Before Grease
Palms Trudged Out of the Theater Sadly, as Otanashi Returned to His Seat. "Maybe I'll Find a Clue inside
his Bag" Thought Goro. He Tried to Open the Bag, but Then Otanashi Yelled "Ain't no Outsider's Gonna
Get their Mitts on My Sensitive Info-Not While I'm Around!", Which Made Goro Stop Cold. "Sorry!"
Replied Goro. "You'd BETTER be!" Otanashi Replied, as Andras Looked at the Lost Minor Poster.
"Hmm…Lost Child….Female, Caucasian, Brown Hair, Ponytail, 5'8, 3.6 lbs…..We Should Keep an Eye Out"
Andras Thought. "Why Don't You give the Challenge Another Go? Or are You Chicken?" Goro Asked,
before doing a Derisive Chicken Impression. "I Ain't Scared a' nuttin'!" Otanashi Said, as he Attempted
the Challenge, but Failed. "Another Servant Watched, as his boss Fell to the Floor. "Fell Down Again?"
The Servant Asked. "No! I'm taking My Afternoon Nap! Yes I Fell!". Using the Argument on the Stage as a
Distraction, Goro Peeked through Otanashi's Briefcase. "Let's See…Inventory List, Robberies, Arrests,
Rival Gangs, Supporters, Escapes, AHA! Hideout Locations!" Goro Said, Looking through the Briefcase.
"Where do they live?" Andras Asked. "In Broken Corners. Wanna Take a Little Walk?" Goro Replied. As
the 2 left the Theater, they found a Newspaper. "Hey Look! Funny Papers!" Goro Said. "Yeah. But
they're in Hieroglyphics." Andras Said. "Speaking of Hieroglyphics, Before we Go, Why don't we give the
Challenge a Try, Andras-Senpai?" Goro Asked. "Well…Why Not?" Andras Replied, as they Went on the
Stage. "Hmm…You Look like a Couple of Hardy Specimens. "Aristocrats of the Royal Family, No Doubt.
Give it a Try, My Friends. The Challenge of the Sphinx is open to all. Regardless of Age, Prowess, or
Physical Deformity!" Kenji Said, with a Shrewd Grin. "First of All, Remind me—What was the Prize
again?" Andras Asked. "2 All-Expenses Paid Tickets to Sunny Egypt!" Kenji Replied. "Egypt—You Mean
with the Alligators or the Crocodiles?" Goro Asked, Confused. "Your Ignorance of the Human World
Fauna is Embarrasing me, Goro-Kun. Kenji-San, "How do we Win this "Challenge of the Sphinx?" Andras
Said. "I Can Walk you through the Steps, but You must Pass through the Mouth of the Sphinx by your
own Power. To Begin, Whenever You are Ready, Step onto the "Beseeching Mat"." Kenji Replied.
"Beseeching Mat?" Goro Asked, in Confusion. "His Tongue" Kenji Replied. "You Don't Know how this
works, do you?" Andras Said, in Doubt. "Of COURSE I know How it Works. I Did Build it After All, but alas,
despite my Arcane Knowledge, only one, blessed with The "The Dragon" is Capable of Bypassing the
Gate. "Do You Know Anything About that Strange Woman Who Was Reading the Newspaper we
Found?" Goros Asked, Curiously. "Egyptians! Descendants of Unas Himself! However, Why They
Constantly Pursue Me, I Know Not." Kenji Said. "You Know who the Old geezer with the Small Thugs is?"
Goro Said, About to Tell Kenji Who it is He is Referring to. "Is He Pestering You? Should we Force Him to
Leave?" Andras Asked. "That is Akira Otanashi, The Infamous Yakuza Mob Leader. He Offered me a
Fortune to Direct me to the Tomb of Unas, but his Petty Money is of No Interest to me." Kenji Replied.
"Why in Lucifer's Name Not?" Andras Asked. "Talent! THAT is what I am Searching for!" Kenji Replied.
"Why Are You Offering this Challenge? Why not Just do it Yourself? You're the Big Expert Here." Goro
Suggested. "Knowledge Alone is Insufficient to Bypass the Sphinx's Defenses, Alas. The Seeker must
be…Special." Kenji Replied. "What is the Other Ticket For, then?" Andras Asked. "Some Seekers may
Have an Accomplice, Supporting them. I Show Respect for them by Giving tickets for that Accomplice, as
Well. Otherwise, it is in the event that you lose the Ticket." Kenji Replied. "How Nifty." Goro Said. "Kenji-
San, I Regret to Inform You, that one of Otanashi's Accomplices has Snatched your Scroll." Andras Said,
with a Sorrowful face. "Don't be Ridiculous. It's Right over there, on that Pedestal." Kenji Said, in
Disbelief. "That one is a Decoy. A Rancorous Ruse. A Scandalous Scam. A Blank Scroll to keep you
unaware." Andras Said, Bombastically, as the Servant Opened the Scroll. "Invisible Writing. Is That Not
Magic?" Kenji Asked. "I Suppose So." Andras Replied. Thank You for the Information, your
Impressiarioship!" Goro Said. "Give the Challenge a Try, Friends! What Could you Possibly Lose?" Kenji
Replied. "What is that?" Goros Asked, gesturing in the Direction of a Massive Vat. "That is the Pit of
Flesh-Eating Ants. Unas Used This To Punish Heretics, as well as those, who disobeyed him." Kenji
Replied. "Ready?" Goros Asked, Gesturing in the Direction of the Gate. "Certainly." Andras Replied, as
they Both Stepped on the Mat. "The Sphinx Awakens. You Truly are a Seeker of Substance, Yes? Place
Your Offering in the Divine Nostrils." Kenji Instructed. "May the Succulent Odor of Poultry Prove Pleasing
to Thy Nasal Passages." Andras Said, Dramatically, as She Placed 2 of Otanashi's Chicken Balls inside the
Nostrils, as 5 Hieroglyphics Alit. "Well done! You Have Bypassed the First Threshold. Now, Incant the
Inscription on its Forehead!" Kenji Instructed. "Umm…Step not on the Snake, Lest You be Consumed by
Ibises?" Goro Asked, before they were both repulsed from the Mat. "My Hieroglyphics are a little
Rusty." Goro Said. "Off to Broken Corners, Then!" Andras Said, as they Walked to a Neighborhood with
Several Old Houses, as the Egyptian Woman Approached the Servants and Said "Accursed Slaves! You
Trespass on Sacred Ground!". "Aw, Lay off! G'wan Back to the Pyramid where you Came From!" The
Servant Leader Replied. "Yeah, go Have Sex with a Pharaoh, you Friggin' Broad!" Brass Knuckles
Retorted. "Pah! I Curse You!" The Egyptian Said, Removing her Rags, as Customary in her Culture, as she
Said "I Give Life, and I can Remove it!", as She Removed Her Attire, Exposing her Naked body. "Oooh,
I'm So Scared…..NOT! That Social Torture don't Work on us, Lady! You Seem more Like a Slutty
Exhibitionist to us!" one of the Servants Said, Mockingly. "Yeah, you Tell 'er, Puffy Pants!" Brass Knuckles
Said. "Shut Up." Puffy Pants Replied. "Why Can't We all just Get along?" Andras Asked. "Because Most
of us are Fucked, Andras-Senpai", as the Egyptian Went to an old House in the Neighborhood, to take a
Bath, as Goro and Andras Walked by the Mafiosos. "Hey, 2-bit. Get the Lady in the Fancy Getup!" Brass
Knuckles Said. "Nice Dress, Lady! What Graveyard Ya Dig it up at?" 2-Bit Said, before Laughing Derisively,
As Goro and Andras Entered the Old House. "We Sure are Going through a lot of Trouble for a Scroll."
Goro Said. "It is Helpful, You Know." Andras Replied. "I Never Even KNEW you were actually a decendant
of the Gremory Family. "It is Obvious, isn't it? The Demonic Chants Never let on." Andras Replied. "I
Wish I'd Paid more Attention in Shouko-Sensei's Hieroglyphics Class." Goro Said. "Don't Worry. We'll
Figure it out. I'm Sure of it." Andras Said, as they Followed the Cultist to a Nearby Sitting Room, near a
Kitchen, with a Stairway, leading to a series of bedrooms. Goro and Andras Followed the Egyptian to the
Bathroom area, and Watched as she took a Bath. "Maybe we Came at a bad time. Andras-Senpai, Have
you any Notes Handy?" Goro Asked. "Just Tell Me What to Write, and I'll Slip it Through the Bathroom
door." Andras Replied. "Do You Have the Time? We Need to Speak with You. It's Urgent." Goro Said.
Andras Wrote what Goro Told her to, and Slipped it through the Door. The Egyptian Clearly saw this, and
Read the Note. "I Will Be With You in a Moment." The Egyptian Said, in response to the Note, as she
Exited the Bathtub and Put on a Robe, and Opened the Door. "Why Do You interrupt me, Anyway? Are
You Supporting those Sacrilegious Servants!?" The Egyptian Asked, Sternly. "No." Goro Replied. "Wait a
Tick….You're the Chosen one, Blessed with the Gift!" The Egyptian Said, in Shock. "By What name are
you Known?" Goro asked. "There are Some Who Call me Reena." The Egyptian replied. "What is "The
Gift"?" Goro Muttered, Confused. "You are the One Who Wields Ddraig, the Dragon of Wales, Yes?"
Reena Said. "Yes. It is I, the Dragon Wielder." Goro Said, Trying to Play along. "Dragon-Wielder. Those
Sacrilegious Sinners. Long Have I Searched for the Dragon Scroll. Stolen from the Tomb of Unas. To Find
it in a Theater, to Find The Dragon Wielder, Reading From it, and then, to lose it to Thieving Poltroons.
Oh, For the Strength of 10 Anubites, to Crush them to Beetle Paste" Reena Said, Sadly. "You Seem a
Trifle Troubled." Andras Replied. "Wanna Talk about it?" Goro Said. "Perhaps You and Your Unappealing
Devil Senior could come to the Aid of a Pitiful Denizen from Giza. To Take back the Scroll from those
Defiling Elves, and Bring it to me?" Reena Asked. "We will Heed your Request." Andras Replied. "The
First Part, Anyway." Goro Said. "I Assume you Wish for a Tedious Boon, in Exchange, Yes?" Reena
Replied. "We're in the Mood for a Hearty Laugh. Can You Read a Joke from your Newspaper, Please?"
Goro Asked. This Question left Reena to Ponder for a Moment. "This one, is Rather Amusing. In The First
Portion, a Man is Discussing a Lover's Quarrel. In the Second Portion, He Assumes the motive to be an
Incident Concerning a Time he Committed Adultery in the Sacred Temple of Tutankhamen. In the Third
Portion, He Tumbles Down the Stairway. In the Final Portion, The Wife Then Revealed that it is due to
the Fact that He Answered the Riddle of the Sphinx Incorrectly, before reassuring him that the Answer
to the riddle is "Day and Night!" "Do you not Understand? The Answer to the Riddle is Very Simple to
Decipher!", before Guffawing. After an Awkward Silence, She then Said "Japanese Denizens Clearly do
not understand Comedy." "What's all this talk about the Tomb of Unas?" Goro Asked. "Oh, I Miss it So. I
Miss the Pitter-Patter of Carefree Scarabs. The Smiling Faces on the Sarcophagi. Guarding it Has been
the Role of Our Family For Generations." Reena Replied. "But Why Did You Leave?" Goro Asked. "Due to
the Fact that The Dragon Scroll was Stolen from us. I was Dispatched to Retrieve it. I Shall Return home,
The Moment I Complete my Directive." Reena Said. "We Are Unable to Pass through the Gate of the
Sphinx until I Read the Inscription." Andras Said. "Tell me The Symbols, and I Shall Translate Them."
Reena Said, "There Was a Foot, a Snake, 2 Squiggles, and a Bird." Goro Said. "I Believe the Translation is:
"Step Not on the Ibis, Lest You Become Food for the Scarabs"." Reena Said. "I Can Remember that."
Goro Said. "My Deepest Apologies for the Interruption. You May Return to Your Bathing" Andras Said.
"Thank You Very Much Indeed. I Will." Reena Replied, Closing the Door, as Andras and Goro Left. "Now
That We Have the Translation, We Should be able to Translate the Symbols. But There is Still the
Question of Retrieving the Scroll." Andras Said. "Hope So. When We Get Home, before our Trip, I Need a
Bath." Goro Said. "I Wish to Accompany you to the Bath when that Time Comes, then." Andras Said. "If
you Say so." Goro Said, Reluctantly. Upon Leaving the House, they See that Brass Knuckles, 2-Bit, and
Puffy Pants. "They're Still at it." Goro Said. "Hey 2-Bit, Look! It's Big-Breasts and Nippyboy!" Brass
Knuckles Said. "Some Guys Don't Know How to Stay Lost!" 2-Bit Replied. Goro and Andras Approached
Them, before 2-bit Said "Wattsamatta? Youse get off at the Wrong Stop or Somethin'?". "Swells Like
You Generally Steer Clear of Broken Corners." Brass Knuckles Said. "We're Here because we're Looking
for somewhere to live." Goro Said. "Oh." Brass Knuckles Replied. "Knock Yourselves Out." 2-bit Said.
"Actually, That's not it. We Actually Represent The Tokyo Metropolitan Police!" Goro Said. "Stand and
Deliver! Give me what you Stole This Instant!" Andras Said. "Pipe Down, Will Ya? We Don't need that
Trouble. We Got a Cushy Setup Here." 2-Bit Said. "5-hours off Every other month. We Just Convinced
Our Boss, Akira Otanashi to Take the Steel Tip off the Whip Last Week!" Brass Knuckles Whimpered.
"Don't Louse it up for us!" 2-Bit Finished. "Just outta Curiosity, Who was that Dame you were fighting
when we came here?" Goro Asked. "Stupid Slutty Exhibitionist! Some Cock n' Ball Story about how this
cult is the Guardians of Some Tomb Jerk!" 2-Bit Said. "Some Mug, Name'a Unas." Brass Knuckles Said.
"Yeah, and Get This: That Scroll is Really Some Mumbo-Jumbo Voodoo in Her Creepy Religion, and When
I don't Hand it over, She Zaps me with this Wacky Gypsy Curse Routine." 2-bit Said. "Tough Break…"
Goro Said. "Aw, Banana Oil! That Guff Might Kill 'em in Asia, or somewhere, but It don't Play here in
Japan!" 2-Bit Finished. "So the Curse doesn't Worry You at all?" Goro Asked. "Nah. Us Yakuzas Don't
Believe in that Magical Junk." 2-bit Finished. "What're You Doing?" Goro Asked. "Workin'. What's it Look
Like, Knucklehead?" 2-Bit Replied. "Special Job—for Mr. O Himself!" Brass Knuckles Said. "We Swiped—
that is, we managed to find this nifty little gizmo here." 2-bit Said. "Sports a Couple'a Interesting
Features." Brass Knuckles Said. "We Crack Da Code, and Mr. O is Swimmin' in Money!" 2-bit Said.
"Which means, Big Bonuses for the Likes of us!" Brass Knuckles Said. "Give it up! You're Messing with
Forces You Don't Understand." Goro Said. "Aw, G'wan, You Got no more Claim on it than we do, only
we're keepin' it, see?" 2-bit Said. "In The Name of the Duke of Gremory-" Andras Said. "No. I Think we
Should go. Meanwhile, I've got the Perfect Idea for a Project for them. See Ya in the Funny Papers,
Suckers!" Goro Said, turning Away. "Wait a Minute! The Big Boss Pays Big If we Bring him a New
Concept." 2-Bit Said. "and You're Right. We Ain't Gettin' nowhere with this Scroll" Brass Knuckles Said.
"Tell Ya What, Pallie—We'll Trade. Give us Your Idea, and If it's Really a Winner like You Say, We'll Hand
over the Scroll. No Fuss." 2-Bit Said. "How about The "Fat Man". A Rocket Launcher that Fires Nuclear
Missiles!" Goro Suggested. "Hey, He's Onto Somethin' Here! Nuclear Energy's the Latest Thing!" Brass
Knuckles Said. "It Can't Miss! Brass Knuckles! Get the Boys Working on a Prototype Posthaste! I'll Spring
it on the Boss When It's Finished, and He's all Filled up on Hot Sakis and Chicken balls. It's a Cinch He'll
Give us the Ol' Hearty Chuckle." 2-bit Said. "Raises all 'round!" Puffy Pants Said. "Now that we have held
our end of the bargain, then you will hold up your, yes?" Andras Asked. "Oh, That. I'd love to, but my
Friend here's sort of attached to it." 2-bit Said. "Yeah. It's Like its PART of 'im!" Brass Knuckles said. Goro
Came in Close and Snatched the Scroll from them. Reading the Scroll, Goro Read How to Execute
"Scale", and, Keeping this in Mind, he said "Very Helpful. We Should be Able to Beat the Challenge
Now." Goro Said. "Let us return…to the Theatre!" Andras Said, as She and Goro Proceeded to Return.
Goro and Andras Passed By a Paperboy on the Way Back to the Theater, Shouting "Extra! Extra! Prime
Minister to Sign Peace Treaty With United States of America! Read all About it!", before turning his
attention to Goro and Andras, with a Shrewd Gaze, Asking "Buy a Paper, Mister?". "Got Change for a
Yen?" Goro Replied. "What do I Look Like, Tetsuro Funai?" The Paperboy Replied. Andras and Goro Left,
in Disgust, Returning to the Theatre, Hearing Kenji Shout "Who Can Penetrate…The Gate of the Sphinx?
Who Among You Posesses the Power to Pass through the Gate of the Sphinx? Is there Not One Man or
Woman Who has What it takes?" Kenji Announced Dramatically. "Didn't he Steal that line from Sumako
Satsui?" Goro Asked. "It Would Appear Not—Sumako Satsui Passed Away 30 Years ago. I Actually
Believe he is Defiling my Family Legacy!" Andras Replied. "no, just our Citizenship." Goro Replied. "Now I
Understand. My Apologies for the Accusation." Andras Said, as she and Goro went to the Stage. "Go
Ahead. Give it another try. Perhaps the Gift will Work this time." Kenji Said, as Goro Stood on the
Beseeching mat, Placing Chicken Balls in the Nostrils and Saying "Step Not on the Ibis, Lest You Become
Food for the Scarabs". Suddenly, The Sphinx's Head Raised, revealing a Gate. "Very Well Done, My
Friends! Now only one Barrier Stands Before Your Path to Victory." Kenji Said. Otanashi Looked at the
Stage, and Shouted "You IDIOT! If those Knuckleheads Beat us to the Prize—" before being interrupted
by Puffy Pants, who returned to the Theater behind Goro and Andras. "Don't Worry about it, boss. So
they got lucky on the Password, but Luck Ain't Gonna Get them through that Gate!" Puffy Pants Replied.
Unfortunately for them, Goro Used Scale and Boosted Gear Gift to Shrink himself and Andras Down and
Dash through the Gate, at Microscopic Size, before Returning to Normal Size. "Congratulations! You
have Completed the Challenge of the Sphinx! You are the Gifted one I have been Searching For!" Kenji
Said. "I'm the Gifted one. She's just Supporting me." Goro Replied. "No Matter—I Have Tickets for The
Both of You. Tommorow Morning, You Set off for Sunny Egypt, aboard the Yin-Yang Express!" Kenji Said.
"Thanks." Goro Said. But Another Reward Awaits you! As Well as another Challenge, Should You Choose
to Accept it! You are to Delve into the Actual Tomb of Unas! And Recovering the Treasure of the Boy-
King Tutankhamen!" Kenji Finished. "That All?" Goro Asked. "We Can Handle That." Andras Said. Puffy
Pants Warned his Boss of the Challenge. "Time to Roll out "Plan B" Otanashi Said, with a Sickening Grin.
Chapter 2: Interrupted
"Wow, You're Like—Really Good at adding Drama, Prez." Issei Said. "Thanks. I'm Glad to Hear that." Rias
Replied. "Did You Hear What I Said Before? I Want Issei! What's Going on over There?!" Asia Shouted
from behind the couch. "That's enough out of you, Asia! Geez. Find out about one unpleasant beating
after peeping on a naked devil and She Just won't stop. Anyway, What Happened Next?" Issei Asked.
"Well…Then Goro and Andra went on their Train to Egypt the Next Day-" "I Wasn't Talking to You, Issei-
san!" Asia Interrupted. "Just Drop it." Issei Said, staring at Asia, before turning his attention to Rias, and
Asking "Sorry. Asia Interrupted. You Were Saying?" Issei Said. "As I Was Saying…" Rias Said.
Chapter 3: The Train to Egypt
"Well, Here we are, Goro-Kun! Bound for adventure on the Yin-Yang Express! On our Way to Egypt—
Land of Ancient Tombs and Statues of Anubis and Bastet!" Andras Said, Dramatically. "I'm Scared. What
if We Don't Fit in?" Goro Asked. "We Must! Kenji-san has Charged us with an Important task, and we
Must not Fail Him!" Andras Replied. "I Hope it Involves Breasts. I Love Breasts." Goro Said, Excitedly.
"You Love the WORD "Breasts"." Andras Replied. Suddenly, a Voice Sounded from within the Car.
"Tickets Please! Please Get Out your Tickets!" The Conductor Shouted. "Just So We're Clear: We Can't
Say a Word about our Mission. We Can't Let Anyone Know that we're Headed—" Goro Said, Before
Being Cut Off, By a Gothic Lolita who Revealed herself, from within her hiding spot, under the Steamer
Trunk, who Said "—To the Tomb of Unas, to Bring back Tutankhamen's Treasure!". "What in Seven
Circles?!" Goro Gasped. "Name's Shido. Azumi Shido. You Know, The Famous "Lost Girl"? Perhaps
you've seen my Face on the Newspapers?" Azumi Asked, Shaking Goro's Hand. "Yes, we Have." Andras
Replied. "I'm a Spirited Girl, I am! Took off from The Kuoh Academy One Day, and Never Looked Back!"
Azumi Said. "My Daughter Used to Attend Kuoh Academy. God Rest her Soul." Goro Thought. "I'm Out
for adventure, and I Thought You Might Need a Sidekick!" Azumi Continued. "I Already Have Someone
with Me. This is My Fiancée, Andras Gremory. "It is a Pleasure to Meet You, Azumi-san." Andras Said,
Giving a Curtsey. "Right Back at Ya, Ma'am" Azumi Replied. "Tickets! Present your Tickets!" The
Conductor Shouted Through the Door. "Tickets! I'll Take Those..." Azumi Said, Before Being interrupted.
"I Believe Not!" Andras Said. "Nothin' Doin'!" Goro Said. After a Brief Scuffle, they Mistakenly Lose the
Tickets, much to Azumi's Frustration. "Open Up and Show Your Tickets!" The Conductor Shouted
Impatiently. "Everyone! Be Quiet!" Goro Said. "Stay out of Sight!" Andras Said. "I Hope You've a Plan."
Azumi Said, Before the Trunk Lid was Closed by Goro. "Open This Trunk! Open This Trunk Immediately!
You Can't Get Rid of Me This Easily! I Know My Rights! There are Laws about Locking People in Trunks,
You Know! There are Laws About that Sort of Thing!" Protested Azumi From inside the Trunk. "I Hear
Voices in 'ere. Wot's Going on?" The Conductor Asked, Suspiciously. "Now Guys, Be Reasonable! I May
not Look it, But I COULD be a Valuable addition to Your "Expedition". I Know All About Egypt. "I Brought
a Book. A HISTORY BOOK!" Azumi Continued. "Open Up and Produce Your Tickets! This Instant!" The
Conductor Yelled. "And Let's Face it—You Could Use a Little Female Companionship! For the Sake of
Your Image. I Hate to Say it, But People are Starting to Talk." Azumi continued, Yet Again. "This is yer last
Warning! Ya Hear?!" The Conductor Yelled, in an Almost Admonishing Voice. "and Anyway, There's Not
Much You can Do about the Situation now. The Die's Been Cast. You Can't Get Rid of me, No Sir! Don't
Think that You can Just "Send me Home". I'll Let the Proper Authorities Know Just Whose Bad-Smelling
Steamer Trunk I've been Stashed in! no Doubt You'll be Taking me to an Egyptian tomb, and Sacrifice me
to Anubis or Other Such Nonsense! You Look Like the Sort of Degenerates who would feed an Innocent
Girl to a God. But, Well, Nothing Personal. There You are." Azumi Continued. "That's It! I've Lost me
Patience!" The Conductor Shouted Angrily. "So What do You say we Forget about the "Meet Cute"
Incident and Start over From Square one, Partner? Deal? Or Would you Rather I Raise the Alarm? Going
Once…Going Twice…" Azumi Finished. "You Don't Have a Way Out of This, do you?" Goro Asked. "Watch
this…" Andras Replied, Taking out a Music Box playing a Mysterious tune, that instantly put Azumi to
Sleep. "The Concerto of Doom". A Traditional Song Composed by the Head of the First Generation of the
Gremory Family. "Open up I Say!" The Conductor Shouted, Furiously. "Goro-Kun! Quick! We Must Hide!
"Don't Worry. I'll Get us Out of this! Boosted Gear Gift!" Goro Said, as He Grabbed Andras, Boosted Gear
at the Ready, and Then Shouted "SCALE", to Shrink themselves to Microscopic Size and Hid in the Closet.
"I'm Comin' in!" The Conductor Said, Opening the Door. "Huh. Coulda Swore there was Someone
Gabbin' in 'ere." The Conductor Said, Confused, as he Looked Around the Compartment Thoroughly.
"Hmph. No one 'ere. Reckon I Were Wrong." The Conductor Said, Calmly as he left the Compartment
and proceeded to the next Compartment. Goro and Andras Climbed out of the Closet and Returned to
Normal Size. "Whew! That was Weird." Goro Said. "Yes. Most Awkward." Andras Said, as she Opened
the Trunk, Releasing Azumi. "Talk about Cutting it Close." Goro Said. "I Once Pulled that Trick in
Gotterdammerung." Andras Said. "Ha! We Sure as Hell Put one over on that Sap of a Conductor, Didn't
we, Partners?" Azumi Asked. "Partners?! For the Last Time, You're not Coming With us!" Goro Shouted.
"You're too late to get rid of me now! Besides, This is Just the Beginning. We've got an Exciting
Expedition Ahead of us!" Azumi Said Excitedly. "Very Well. You may Join us. As Long as You are Helpful."
Andras Said, Reluctantly. "Yeah! What She Said!" Goro Said, Encouraging her. "Like I Said, I'm an Expert
on Egypt!" Azumi Reminded. "Ummm…Right." Goro Said. "We finally Arrived. We Must Hurry Out of the
Train before We are Discovered." Andras Said. "Boosted Gear Gift! Scale!" Shouted Goro, as he Shrunk
Himself, Azumi, and Andras, and Ran Past the Footsteps that Approached, and Eventually Managed to
Make it off before the Conductor Arrived to Frisk Everyone. Goro Returned Himself. Azumi, and Andras,
to Normal Size Once Again, so that the Expedition could continue once more. "Nice Trick. Where'd ya
Learn it?" Azumi Asked, Curiously. "It's a Long Story. I Don't Know How to Explain it.
Chapter 4: Interrupted Again
"Say what you Want about my Family History. I Would have done things differently. For Instance, I
would've Happily Accepted her offer of Helping us." Issei Said. "Fortunately, We won't be in a Situation
like that anytime soon. "Maybe They Got their Tickets Back, to return home…" Issei Said, Intrigued.
"Hey, Who's Telling the Story Here?" Rias Said. "Sorry Prez." Issei Said. "What are You Two Talking
About? Are you Trying to Take him from me Again?" Asia Asked. "Zip it, Asia! Anyway, I Never Found out
How they Got to the Tomb, but I DO Know What happened in the Tomb itself. Now, As I was Saying…"
Rias Continued
Chapter 5: In The Tomb
Andras and Goro Shrunk down again using Scale, and Descended a Stairway close to the Center of the Tomb. "Remember: It's Not Easy to persuade Egyptians. They Appease Their Gods with their Mothers' Milk." Andras Reminded Goro. "Speaking of Which, We Finally managed to Lose that Pesky Lolita." Goro Replied. "By Asmodeus, You're Right! That was a Clever Move Pointing her to that Mirage and Telling her it was an Oasis. Human Girls are so Gullible!" Andras Said, as Goro Chuckled. "Going on with the Business at Hand, we gotta find Tutankhamen's treasure, before it's scooped up by some Disrespectful Tomb Raiders." Goro Said. "More Disrespectful Than Us?" Andras Asked. "Without a Doubt, it will be hidden in an endless Labyrinth, with lots of deathtraps, but If we're careful enough-" Goro Said, Before Being Interrupted. "Look! On the Pedestal!" Andras Shouted. "Oh. There it is. But Do not Forget. I'd like to freshen up on the return trip." Goro Said. "understood." Andras Replied. "Hard to Believe We're Really in Egypt!" Goro Said. "Quite Different From What I Was Expecting." Andras Replied. "Who Knew Using Boosted Gear to Shrink in Size would be a Useful Technique?" Goro Asked, Rhetorically. "Next Time We Do it, Plan more Carefully!" Andras Said. "Sorry about that. Let's Continue on." Goro Replied, gesturing at the Stairway to the Pedestal. Andras Unfurled her wings and Soared to the Treasure. "Don't Just Stand there with Childish timidity. Get over here!" Andras Shouted. "Coming." Goro Replied, following her. "What Troubles you, Goro-Kun?" Andras Asked. "Something in that Treasure is Calling out to me!" Goro Replied, as the Treasure Gleamed with magic, with a Mysterious Pair of Bracers Flying from the pile and down the Stairway. "Andras-Senpai! It's a Pair of Bracers!" Goro Shouted, in Shock, while at the Same time, in a state of Abject fear. "Set your mind at ease. They Could be useful. "Forbidden Balor View". This Sacred Gear Freezes time, Giving you more time to act. It also grants the Power of Teleportation." Andras Explained. Suddenly a Mysterious Naga Appeared and Snatched it away, as Goro and Andras Tried to Retrieve it. "Was That-?" Goro Asked, Stammering. "Yes. It would appear that You have fulfilled your lustful desire." Andras Replied. "and Those are Amazing Breasts, too." Goro Said. "Well, Well. What have we here? Tomb Raiders, Eh?" an Old Cultist said, with a Shrewd Gaze. "It has been long, since I stopped a Raiding. The Protection Spell Seems to be in order" The Cultist Thought. "Is that the Leader?" Goro Whispered. "It would appear so." Andras Replied. Jesticulating oddly, The Cultists Summons a Magic Circle upon the Treasure, casting a Protection spell. "If you Value your Lives, you will Stay away from the Treasure." The Cultist Leader Ordered, as He Retired to his Chambers. "Andras-Senpai! Grab that Treasure! I'll Cover the Exit!" Goro Said. "Are you that Simple-minded? Have you forgotten? That Treasure is Protected by Magic!" Andras Replied. "Pursue the Naga!" Andras Ordered as they Followed the Path, only to find a Dead end. "Hmmm…Maybe the Sconce over by the Stairway will trigger something." Goro Suggested, as he Went over to the Staircase with Andras when Suddenly, they were interrupted by an Unexpected Voice shouting in a Loud Voice, "HEY!". Goro and Andras Screamed as if they were startled, as they Jumped. "Over here." The Voice Said. After a long pause, the Voice said "I Won't Hurt you. I Can't Hurt You." The Voice Said. "Who are you?" Goro Said, turning around, revealing the voice to come from a Bas relief of a Strange Girl Dressed like a nun. "Listen to me Very Carefully. You want Tutankhamen's Treasure, right? I can help you, but you need to help first." The Bas Relief Said. "How'd an overseas girl like you end up like this?". "My name is Giuseppa. Giuseppa Argento. I'm a Student of the Antiquities. I Travelled here to Make Sketches of the Tomb decorations, but I didn't know I would end up like one myself!" Giuseppa Said, Moping. "What happened?" Goro Asked. "I've been trapped here for years. You gotta help me…Please?" Giuseppa Replied, as if begging. "How do we get you down?" Goro Asked. "You see the Bust of Unas?". Giuseppa Replied. "We do." Andras Replied. "There's a Clasp underneath it. Release the Clasp, and I'll be free as a bird. I would GREATLY Appreciate your Help." Giuseppa Answered. "There's no stairs! How do we get there?" Goro Asked, Confused. "That's a Very Good Question." Giuseppa Replied. "Who is responsible for this?" Andra Asked. "The Cult! They're Crazy. Even the Leader. I Thought he was nice, at first, but then he Cursed me with bad luck. I tried to run away, but the way out was blocked by a provocatively dressed cultist woman with a cheesy accent! She Threw ANOTHER curse at me! In my Confusion, I tripped over a tripwire and BAM! Curse number 3! And here I am." Giuseppa Said, in a Scared voice. "You know how break the Spell over the Treasure?" Goro Asked. "Naturally. During my Long confinement, I've had a great opportunity to study their Magic while they were triggering it." Giuseppa Answered. "Then Why is it that You are still incapable of Lifting your OWN Curses?" Andra Asked, confused. "My Movements are limited. Help me, Help You." Giuseppa replied. "Hang Tight. We'll Get You outta this." Goro Said. "Please do." Giuseppe Replied. "Maybe the Sconce will create a stairway of some sort." Goro Said, as he Pulled the Sconce, Raising a Stairway to the Bust, as well as a Passageway to where the Naga Went. "How Ridiculously Convenient." Goro Said, as they Climbed a Stairway, to Remove the bust of Unas, albeit Cautiously, Releasing the Clasp underneath it. Unfortunately, They Ended up Bas Reliefs Themselves! "Freedom! Freedom! Blessed Third Dimension. Glorious Relief! I'm Free!" Giuseppa Said, Delighted. Giuseppe Noticed Andras' and Goro's Situation. "and you're NOT. Sorry. Gotta Run!" Giuseppa Said. "It was a Setup! I Knew it!" Andras Said, Frustrated. "But You Said you'd Help us Land the Treasure." Goro said. Giuseppe Laughed and Said "Yeah Right! What could a Couple of Bas Relief POSSIBLY want with treasure? Bye!" Giuseppe Said, with a Backhanded Goodbye, as She Left. Suddenly, the Guardians Awakened from their Slumber. "Infidels!" Shouted one of the Guardians. "Vipers! You have Removed the Sacred bust of Unas! As Punishment, You must remain on this Wall…" The Other Guardian Said. "Fair Enough. For How Long?" Goro Asked. "For ETERNITY!" one Guardian Said, as the Guardians both Cackled Maniacally. "I Hesitate to Threaten you, but My Fiancée Here Knows Every Karaoke Song Ever Written. Unless you release us, He Will Sing…For ETERNITY!" and Laughing Cruelly. Goro only got as far as the Line "Shira kaba aozora minami kaze…", before being interrupted by the Guardians before, in unison Shouted "SILENCE!" Goro Stopped, disappointed. "At least let me get my Bracelets." Goro Said. "You Shall Suffer…" One Guardian Replied. "For How long?" Goro Replied. "For ETERNITY!" the Other Guardian Replied, as they both cackled, yet again. "My Fiancee is the Heiress of the Gremory Family! You have No Right to Imprison her. Just Like I'm the Wielder of Ddraig." Goro Shouted. "Those Names mean nothing to us!" One Guardian Shouted, annoyed. "Isn't there ANY way we can be Released?" Goro Asked. ""There are two sisters: one gives birth to the other and she, in turn, gives birth to the first. Who are the two sisters?" One Guardian Asked. "Ummm…Heaven and Hell?" Goro Guessed. "Incorrect." The Other Guardian Replied "Miscreants, Perhaps?" Andras Guessed. "WRONG!" One Guardian Replied. "Tomb Raiders?" Goro Guessed. "Insensitive Males?" Andras Asked. "Wrong Again." The Other Guardian Replied. "Foreigners?" Goro Guessed. "You Do not Know, Do you?" One Guardian Guessed. "Oh, we Know. We're Just Holding out on you. Anyway, Mockers?" Goro Replied. "Wrong." One Guardian Replied. "Monsters." Andras Guessed, in an unnervingly deep voice, followed by Goro Screaming Loudly. "Incorrect again" One Guardian Replied. "Prentention, Maybe?" Andras Guessed. "Incorrect." One guardian replied. "Non-believers?" Goro Guessed. "Incorrect." One guardian Replied. "Hellhounds?" Goro Guessed. "Incorrect." The Other Guardian Said. "Bigots, Perhaps?" Andras Guessed. "Selfish Brats?" Goro Guessed. "Incorrect." A Guardian Replied. "Day and Night." Goro Replied. "Correct." One Guardian replied. "You may go." The Other Guardian said, as Andras and Goro are Released. "We're Free! And we Still have the Bust of Unas!" Goro Said, Triumphantly. "A Fallen Anubis Statue. Perhaps we Can Use that to find the Naga." Andras Said, as they Slid down the Statue and Followed the trail to 2 Doorways. "Halt! 2 Doorways…" Another Cultist Said. "I Just Said that." Goro Said, smugly. "The Doorway of Life…and the Doorway of Death. Choose Aright…and proceed to the Chamber of Delight, Wherein our Greatest Treasure Resides. Choose Awrong…" the Young Cultist Recited. "Awrong?" Goro Asked, Confused. "and a DEADLY KHOPESH Shall Strike from above…and Slice you Cleanly in Half! Proceed…If you Dare…" the Cultist Finished, as he Disappeared. "Which Door is Which? Come on, Goro…THINK!...Waitaminute….Aright…That's it! The Right Doorway! No. It COULD be the Left. Tossing the Bust into the Mechanism…I Saw 2 Niches matching the same colors and Shape as the Bust, and the Forbidden Balor view is past here. I can kill 3 birds with one Stone!" Goro Thought. "I Haven't the Slightest Clue." Andras Said. "I Can't Tell you, but I Have an Idea. Toss the Bust into the Mechanism! That way, we can Break the Mechanism, Get the Forbidden Balor View, and Create a Path to the Magic Wall!" Goro Suggested. "Excellent Thinking!" Andras Replied, as She Tossed the Bust Through the Doorway, as the Khopesh Sliced the Bust in 2. "Looks like the bust BUSTED the Mechanism." Goro Said, Laughing. "Rather Amusing, That one." Andras Replied. "Curse You! You Ruined the Mechanism. But Take Heed…A Naga Awaits…and it Guards your Goal." The Cultist Said. "But…The Khopesh…isn't it-" Goro Said, before the Cultist Shouted "Avert your vision, lest you bring the Surprise of the door that assassinates is brought to a spoil." The Cultist Said. "Back in Nagoya, We found this strange Woman who apparently lives here. Strange Dress, Obsessed with a Scroll..." Goro Said. "I believe that is my Beloved Wife, Reena. What was she Doing in Japan?" The Cultist Asked. "Cursing Yakuzas with the "Curse of Nudity", Mostly. I Heard that Americans Liken it to Social execution. You see, in case you didn't know, the general idea is that women give life, and they can take it away." Goro Explained. "So it would Seem, that She is Still Proceeding with her passion. "Something odd about that Lady. She Speaks in this…Hard-to-Place Accent. Why is it that You Speak in a Dialect from her?" Goro Asked. "I am afraid I do not quite Follow you." The Cultist Replied. "Do you know anything of an elderly man guarding the Treasure?" Andras Asked. "That is my Father, the Leader of our Cult, and the Guardian of the Burial Chamber." The Cultist Replied. "Is there any chance you can convince your old man to let us have the treasure?" Goro Asked. "The Treasure of Tutankhamen?! The Treasure that We have Guarded for 6,000 years?!" The Cultist Asked in Shock. Goro nodded, and the Cultist then yelled "Your Request has fallen on deaf ears, I'm afraid." The Cultist Replied. "I would love to stay and talk, but we have a treasure to take." Goro Said. "So you do. So you do." The Cultist Said. "Onee-Sama, What's That?" Goro Asked, pointing at the Murals on the wall. "These paintings depict the life of Unas, the Pharoah of Lust. Young Unas Started life as a Humble Scarab Catcher…But Fate Intervened! One Day, He Discovered the Fabled Bust of Tutankhamen, the Boy-King of Egypt. This Moment Altered the Course of the Entirety of his Life. Then, Upon becoming a Pharaoh, he was worshipped as a god, at the Zenith of his Power. Some Citizens Formed a Rebellion, and Snuck Past The Pharaoh's Defenses, and used the Fabled Excalibur Deadly to Remove his Brain. Upon Death, He Bourne to the Tomb by The Cult of Unas. That was the Most Costly Funeral in the History of Egypt." The Cultist Explained. "Hmph. How Informative.". Goro Said, as he and Andras Entered the Treasure Chamber. "Halt! Who Dares to Trespass into the Boudoir of Ahkmunrah, Heir to the Cult of Unas?!" A Mysterious Voice Said. "At least give us the Forbidden Balor View." Goro Said. "Your Order Falls on Deaf Ears. Move One Step Closer, and You will face the Wrath of Viser!" Ahkmunrah Yelled. "Viser?" Goro Asked. "That is the Name of my Personal Naga, You Fool!" Ahkmunrah Yelled. "I Understand How you feel about the Forbidden Balor View, but it belongs, to My Fiancee, The Wielder of Ddraig! In the name of the Duke of Gremory, I Hereby Order you to hand him over!" Andras Said. "You're only making my dragon friend here angry! Hand him over before you get fried by Ddraig's Vicious Fire Breath!" Goro Yelled. "I Refuse to Believe this! If by a mere miracle, you best my pet, I shall cast a Spell so Devastating, Your "Fiancée" Will suffer a lifetime of Humiliation." Ahkmenrah replied. "What if we Refuse to listen to you?" Goro Asked. "Then You Shall be melted by the Wrath of the Corrosive Secretions erected from my Pet's Massive Bosom!" Ahkmenrah Replied. Goro Laughed derisively at her. "Scoff if you must, but You shall not enter." Ahkmenrah Said, in response to Goro's Laughing. "But Were we to Exit, We May Mistakenly Stumble into another deathtrap." Andras Said. "I am Certain that Both Myself and Viser, will take pleasure in your demise, then. Although I am Startled that You miraculously Passed through the Trap which Chooses my Suitors, Heiress of the Gremory Family." Ahkkmenrah Replied. "Most unfortunate, but Many such as myself say that it is most unbecoming for a sole Heir to Curse." Andras Said. "Cursing is a Crucial factor in my Culture, Fool! Are you that Gullible!?" Ahkmunrah Replied. "I Suppose Your Father Has a Curse, as Well as your Grandfather." Andras Said. "My Elder Possesses "Luck Diminish", a Spell that Causes Bad Luck to Fall unto its victim. My Father Possesses "Sexual Rejection", a Spell that Repulses the Opposite Gender."Ahkmunrah Explained, Sinisterly. "Then What Curse do you control? Andras Asked. "I Was blessed by the Very Element of Unas." Ahkmunrah Explained, in a Sickening Voice. "You must Return the Treasure!" Goro Ordered. "My Apologies. I was Lost in the Moment." Andras Replied. "Try not any Deceptive Ideas. Or Else You Shall Face my Full Wrath!" Ahkmenrah Replied. "I'd Be Careful if I were you. Andras-Senpai is Very Short Fused. Keep it up, and She'll unleash her Dragon Bow on you!" Goro Said, almost admonishingly. "STILL YOUR TONGUE!" Ahkmunrah Shouted. "Come on! Make a Break for it!" Goro said, signalling for Andras to Accompany him as they Entered the Chamber. "You Dare Defile my Inner Sanctum?! Viser! Attack!" Ahkmenrah Ordered. Viser Proceeded to Secrete a Blast of Acid from her nipples, as Goro Used Scale to Shrink himself and Andras Down, to Run Past Her, and Return to Normal Size, Grab the Forbidden Balor View, to Freeze Viser in Place, and Then Goro Kicked The Naga to The Floor, before ordering for Andra to Impale her with the Dragon Bow, as they Ran out of the Chamber. "If you Shall not Submit to my Pet, then I Will deal with you Personally!" Ahkmenrah Shouted as He Snapped his Finger, Shouting "Dress….Break!". Suddenly, Andras' Regal Dress, Petticoats, Corset, Garter Belt, and Stockings Shredded Away, much to her Fury, as She Readied her Dragon Bow. "What is the meaning of this!?" The Cultist Father Shouted? "Your Son has Shredded my Clothes!" Andras Replied. "Don't Worry. Here. Take this." Goro Said, Holding a Makeshift set of Rags for Her to Cover her Breasts and Vagina. "Oh. Thank you." Andras Said, as She Put them On. Goro Fastened them Tightly so that They would stay on until they returned to the train. "When we get back on the train, I'll see if I can find another Set of Clothes for you to wear." Goro Said. "Thank You. I appreciate your Assistance.". "This time, I Will Spare you. If ever you Violate my Body Again, I Shall Kill you. No Questions Asked." Andras Warned. "You have Put my life in Ruins! You are a Heretic! A Non-Believer!" Ahkmenrah Shouted. "I Hesitate to Contradict, but is Ventriloquism truly Useful Devil Magic?" Andras Asked. " 'course I do! I can Predict what I'll Say before I even Say it! Ddraig, We're gonna make a great Team. Now Where do I start?".Goro Asked. Suddenly the Dragon Awakened. "Try Tricking the Father into believing that the Girl is in love with you." Ddraig Said. "BOOSTED VENTRILOQUISM!" Goro Shouted, before Throwing his voice into Ahkmunrah. "I Suppose there is no point in Hiding it any further. I Love You, Goro. I Long for you. I Long for your Puppies. Do you understand?" Goro Said, Through Ahkmunrah. "Ahkmunrah!" The Cultist Father Said. "I Never Said Such nonsense!" Ahkmunrah Replied. "Do My Earholes Hear Correctly? I Simply Cannot Allow this. You shall be cursed. "SEXUAL REJECTION!" The Cultist Shouted, While Jesticulating, as Goro and Andras were soon Affected peculiarly. "While the curse is in effect, the Sound of your voice Repulses the opposite Gender. Goro and Andra Left the Doorways and back to the main area. "Maybe We Can Find an Answer over there." Goro Said, pointing at the Wall. Andras Pulled the Viper-Shaped Sconce, next to the Wall, Creating a Hidden Passageway to the Burial Chamber of the Tomb. "What are YOU doing here?!" The Cultist Shouted, at Azumi, Who Somehow Snuck inside the Chamber, through another Passageway. "Not her again…" Goro Groaned quietly. "I Just got lost, sir. Those 2 Look Like they know their way around. Maybe they'll help me." Azumi Replied. "Aw Shucks. You're very Kind." Goro Said, to the Cultists. "Stay back. I was Addressing HER." The Cultist Replied, pointing at Azumi. "Hey, Guys." Azumi Said, this time at Goro and Andras. "How did YOU get in here?!" Goro Said. "I Pulled a Loose Stone, and a Wall fell down, and now…Here I am!" Azumi Explained. Andras Grumbled with Frustration, as Azumi Said "NEVER underestimate an Independent Woman!"."Your Tone calls to mind my Grandson. The Heir to the Throne. Now Then…What are you Doing here?" The Cultist Leader Asked. "I Accidently Came Here! I Already Explained, Didn't I?" Azumi Said. "Release her at ONCE!" Andras Commanded. "YOU Keep Your Distance, If You value your Lives. Andras Lunged at the Cultist. "I Warned You!" The Cultist Shouted, Pulling a Lever, Causing a Log with Spikes to Swing at Goro, as he Dodged out of the Way. The Log, However, Incapacitated Andras, Who Promptly Retreated. "Bad Idea, Onee-Sama! Pst! Azumi. I Want you to Do something for us!" Goro Said. "Sorry. You Go on Ahead. I'll be Right behind you!" Azumi Said. "What ARE you Doing in here?" Goro Asked. "I'm Studying the Guardians. I Think I'm onto something. I Bet my Last Yen this Place was once home to a Secret Cult!" Azumi Replied. "Listen…I'm Sorry we Tricked You." Goro Said. "Yes. We are most Distraught." Andras Said. "Yeah, I Could tell by the way your shoulders were shaking with regret as you ran away. Or was it Laughter? Anyway, To Be Honest, I Found a Caravan, Passing through the area. I was discovered by a buncha bandits. They Saw me and Picked me up. I don't Speak much Arabic, but I Did manage to find something about my fetching at the Slave Bazaar, for a Fairly reasonable price in would've been the end of the story, I guess, if the Chief Hadn't Accidently Left his Sword behind. Since I'm an Expert Fencer, as in "Skilled in Swordfighting", I Fought my Way here. "Don't Wander off again. You're Lucky you killed Those Bandits." Goro Said. "Next Time, You may be in Grave Danger." Andras Said. "It looks like that Cultist wants to talk to you." Goro Said. "I bet YOU want me to go over there so he can Pester me with more questions while you sneak up behind him and Steal his Scarab Collection. I'm not Stupid, you Know." Azumi Replied. "Oh, My. You ARE a Clever little Tyke." Goro Replied. "Too Clever for YOU, I'm afraid. I have no intention of being a pawn in your game, whatever it is, and I've got a pretty good idea. Besides, I Hate being slobbered over by Geriatrics. I find it highly Degrading. I'm a liberated Citizen, you know. To Hell with your La-dee-da Hooey! This is the 20th Century!" "Go ahead. Don't be Shy." Goro Said. "Not in a 1,000,000,000 Years."Azumi Replied. "Good Luck. May Asmodeus be With you." Anras Said. "Umm…Okaaay." Azumi Said, Confused. "Excuse us, Sir?" Goro Said. "Yes?" The Cultist Leader Replied. "What is that?" Goro Asked. "I Used This to Teach my Grandson How to Cast Magic Circles Years Ago." The Cultist Leader Said, Before turning his attention to Azumi. "Come Here, My Sweet. Don't be Shy. I have Something for you." The Cultist Leader Said to Her. "What is it?" Andras Asked. "I Was merely offering it to HER." The Leader Said, Pointing to Azumi. "You know that Spell You cast on the Treasure. We Just Figured it out!" Goro Said. "We are Gloating in your Face, Taking the Treasure." Andras Said, with a Sadistic Grin. "That Spell is Foolproof. Long have I cast that Spell. That Spell Never Failed me ONCE." The Cultist Leader Said, in Disbelief. "Why don't we Give her to you?" Goro Asked. "I am afraid I Must Decline. She Must Heed myCall Herself. Then I Shall Ask her More Questions. "Oh, GOD help us!" Azumi Said, Groaning in Embarrassment. "Not to worry. I Have a Plan. BOOSTED VENTRILOQUISM!" Goro Shouted, Boosted Gear at the Ready. Using his Mind, he Threw his Voice into the Sarcophagus within the Chamber. "I Have Awakened From the Sleep of 1,000 Deaths!" he Said through the Sarcophagus, using the Sexual Rejection Curse to his advantage, thus, sending her flying to the cultist, who grabs onto her. "You cannot Escape now!" The Cultist Leader Said. "Gotta Go." Azumi Said. "No! I am Not Finished with you yet!" the Cultist Leader Said. Azumi Tried to Escape, but The Cultist Leader Restrained her. Using this to his Advantage, He Snuck up behind them and took the Keys required to lift the protection spell covering the Treasure. Azumi Escaped and Ran Back to the Desert. "Rather Shrewd of you to Sneak in here behind my backside. I Suppose you can stay, then." The Cult Leader Said. "Andras and Goro Promptly left after Grabbing the Spell keys. "Eying the travel Brochures on a Table near the Cult Leader, Goro Asked "Brochures, Huh? Goin' Somewhere?" Goro Asked. "Indeed. I am Going Somewhere to Relax, Take in the Ozone in the Air. However the rub, is I Know not Where to Visit. Where do you Hail from?" The Cult Leader Asked. "you wouldn't've heard of it. An Overseas Country called Italy." Goro Replied. "ITALY!? You Mean to tell me that I am Speaking to Accursed Italians?!" The Cult Leader Yelled. "Kindly Restrain Your Language, Sir." Andras Said. "No Cursing in the Burial Chamber." Goro Said. "Clearly You Have Not Experienced a Curse Until You fall Victim to my Luck Diminish Spell!" The Cult Leader Said, Jesticulating as Goro and Andras were Cursed with Bad Luck. Goro and Andras Went to the Guardian Statues and Placed the Bust Halves into their Respective Niches, Putting the Guardians to Slumber Once More, Returning them to their Original Positioning. Goro Triggered the Clasp on the Pedestal, as they Shifted to Bas Relief Form and Shuffled Over to the Other Side. "Perhaps if you Scramble the Tiles that Support the Spell…" Andras Said. Goro Tried to Shift them but then Said "They're Welded in Place." Goro Said, Placing the Other Spell Keys to Fill The Gaps. "Now THAT'S What I Call an Inscription!" Goro Said, as he Nearly Fell From The Edge, when the Cult Leader Showed up. "What is the Meaning of this?!" The Cult Leader Asked, before Thinking "Did I Cast the Spell Correctly? I Suppose I Could Attempt it Once More." And Jesticulating, accidently Undoing the Spell. "We Did it! No Cultists in Sight. Stone Guardian Guys, Otherwise Occupied. Unbreakable Spell of Protection, Broken." Goro Said. "Nothing Stands between us and the Treasure save a Path of Concrete and Thin Air." Andras Said. "Let's Go Get it!" Goro Said.
Chapter 6: Another Interruption
"Wow. That's Deep. Even for Me." Issei Said. "The Next Part is More Exciting." Rias Replied. "At Least Let
Him Perform Cunnilingus on Me!" Asia Said from behind the Couch. "I Said Zip it!" Rias Said. "She's
Really Stubborn, Isn't She?" Issei Asked. "Yeah. She is. Anyway, Goro and Andras Suddenly Found
themselves in the Middle of a Heated Standoff. Similar to My Tennis Match with Sona, When We Were
Discussing Familiars…"Rias Continued.
Chapter 6: The Standoff
Having Broken the Protection Spell Protecting the Treasure, Goro and Andras Turned back towards it.
"Race ya to the Chest. Last one There's a Roasted Hellhound!" Goro Said, Excitedly. Andras Unfurled her
Demonic Wings and Flew Towards the Chest, when Goro Restrained her, and During a Mildly Heated
Struggle, They Made it to the Chest. "We got it! The Treasure is Ours!" Andras Shouted, Triumphantly.
"Not For Long!" A Voice Rang out, as a Furious Otanashi Emerged from the Tomb Entrance, Brandishing
a Smith and Wesson Revolver, Firing Rounds from the Gun. "Otanashi! Hide! He's got a Revolver!" Goro
Said, Panicking. "I WANT THAT TREASURE!" Otanashi Shouted, as they Hid behind shelter. "This is one of
those situations where it would be helpful to have a gun." Goro Said. "OR Sacred Gear." Andras Replied.
"Sacred Gear! That's Right! I Keep Forgetting we have Unexplainable Equipment. Ready Your Dragon
Bow and Distract Him! I'll Get us Out of Here!" Goro Said. "Please Do. DRAGON BOW, COME FORTH!"
Andras Replied, as the Bow Emerged out of a Flash of Light. "Where the Sam Hill are you Hiding!?"
Otanashi Yelled. As Andras fired Light Arrows from the Bow, Goro Ran for the Exit, Only for Otanashi to
Attempt to Shoot him, as Goro Ran Away. "Bad Idea!" Andras Said. "Don't Get in my Way, Lady!"
Otanashi Yelled. "Do You Want a Piece of Me?! Well, Here You Go!" Andras Retorted, as She Fired a
Volley of Arrows in Otanashi's Direction! "Surrender in the Name of the Duke of Gremory!" Andras
Yelled. "I Must Take that Chest! I Won't let You Have it!" Otanashi Yelled. "YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!"
Andras Roared, Furiously. "Why, You Miserable, Heartless, Soulless Succubus!" Otanashi Yelled.
Distracted by His own Rage, Otanashi Turned his Attention to Goro, as he Said "There's No Escape for
You!", and turning his attention to where Andras was hiding earlier, and Saying "Come out, Come Out,
Wherever you are." Sinisterly. After a Few Moments he Yelled "Where are You Hiding, Blast You?! I
Want the Treasure!". Using his Ranting to Her Advantage, She Screeched Loudly, as She Lunged at
Otanashi, Grabbing Him by the Coattails. Otanashi, in Response, Punched Andras Hard in the Chest.
Andras Managed to Pin His Hands to the Wall with 2 Dragon Arrows, and Struck Otanashi in the Head
with a Light Spear 3 times, Before being Kicked away and being Shot in the Right Breast, as Otanashi
Yelled "Let go of Me, you Annoying Broad! This Monocle Ain't Cheap, You Know!", after His Monacle
was Broken in the Process. Andras then Played dead to Throw him off the Trail. "Come out or I'll Shoot!"
Otanashi Shouted, at Goro. "But if I Come out, You'll Shoot Anyway." Goro Replied. "What's Your
Point?" Otanashi Asked. Having Devised a Plan, He Shouted "Boosted Ventriloquism!" as a Crimson
Armored Glove Appeared over Goro's Hand. "That Statue could Collapse any moment! I have an Idea!"
Goro Thought, as he Said, through the Statue "That Sap Otanashi'll Never Find me in Here!". "THERE You
Are!" Otanashi Said, Grinning Confidently, as He Shot the Statue, as it Fell to the Ground, as he Chuckled
and Left. Andras Regained Consciousness as Goro Ascended the Stairway to the Gate. "Great
Ventriloquizing, Goro-Kun!" Andras Said, Congratulating Him. "'Tweren't Nothin'." Goro Replied, as
Andras Joined Goro. "All We Need to do is Read those Hieroglyphics and the Door Will open, and We'll
be Golden!" Andras Said. "Right! Er….You Wouldn't Happen to Remember what they say, do you?" Goro
Asked. "I do not. Do You?" Andras Asked. "Step Not on the Ibis, Lest You Become Food for the Scarabs".
Goro incanted, as the Gate opened. "You Remembered!" Andras Said, Congratulating Goro. "That's How
it is, with Foreign Languages. It's Easy to get out of Practise, but Once you—Yikes!" Goro Said, as he Was
interrupted by a Gunshot which Barely Missed him, Coming From Otanashi, as He Tried to Fire at Goro
and Andras. "Damn it! I was Too Late. They Got Away!" Otanashi Said, in Frustration.
Chapter 8: Interrupted Yet Again
"…And That's how Goro and Andras Escaped from the Clutches of the Heartless Mobster Known
as…Akira Otanashi!" Rias Said. "Interesting, but I Would have beaten him, No Prob!" Issei Replied. "It
Sounds like a Contradiction, doesn't it? A Descendant of the Gremory Family Running away from an
Enemy?". "Yeah. By the Way, What's a Contradiction?" Issei Asked. "it's an Automatic Gainsaying, Which
is Something that Goes against something else, of anything Someone or Something Says." Rias
Explained. "Sometimes I Wish I were Smarter." "I Like You Just the Way You Are, you know!" Asia
Shouted from behind the Couch. "Mind Your Own Business!" Rias Shouted. "Then What Happened?"
Issei Asked, Excitedly. "Your Question is Fascinating, Issei-Kun. On the Return trip back to Japan, Goro
and Andras were Victims of a Mysterious Heist…" Rias Said.
Chapter 9: The Journey Home
"Well, Goro-Kun, Here we are. Fresh from a Tomb-Raiding Expedition to Egypt, back on board the Yin-
Yang Express, Bound for Nagoya!" Andras Said. "Remind me. How did we manage to undo that
Protection spell and Whisk the Treasure from the Cult of Unas, again?" Goro Asked. "I Do not
Remember." Andras Replied. "But The Important Thing is, the Treasure is Safe and Sound, Right Here in
our Steamer Trunk." As he Opened the Trunk to Notice That the Treasure was Gone! "What the Hell?!"
Goros Shouted in Surprise. "Is Something Amiss?" Andras Asked. "We've been Robbed! It Must Have
Happened while we were Filling up on Chicken Balls and Rice in the Snack Car!" Yelled Goro. "Then It
Would Seem that the Culprit is On…This…Train!" Andras Replied. "Also, How Long, Until We Get back
Home?" Goro Asked. "From the Way I See it, I Believe We are Crossing the Delaware River, Right Near
the Mid Atlantic Ridge, in the Human World Ocean Known as The Atlantic Ocean." Andras Said. "Don't
be Ridiculous! What Could the Train be Doing in America?" Goro Replied, Laughing Uncontrollably. "Pull
Yourself Together! I Also Believe We See the Carribean Sea, Right over There. Right Close to the North
Sea, If I am assuming Correctly." Andras Continued. "I Can't Believe Someone Snatched our Treasure
Behind our Backs right under our noses. I'll Beat them to a Pulp for what they Did!" Goro Grumbled. "A
Blow to the Head, at the Very Least." Andras Said. "Wait a Minute! We Were Ambushed by Otanashi,
Right?" Goro Asked. "Correct. Capital Idea! We'll Start with Otanashi's Compartment!" Andras
Answered. "Let's Go." Goro Said, Eagerly. "Lead On." Andras Replied, as they Exited their Compartment
Noticing Giuseppa Pass Through the Car Door, to another one, with Brass Knuckles, and an Aberrant
2-bit Returning to their Compartment, to Knock on Otanashi's Door. "Whaddya Want?! I'm Busy in
Here!" Otanashi Shouted through the Door. "Open Up! This is the Police!" Goro Said, Imitating a Police
Officer. "I Don't Want No Troubles, Copper!" Otanashi Shouted. "You Must be Questioned for
Attempted theft!" Andras Shouted. "Bug Off!" Otanashi Shouted. "Let's Come Back Later." Goro Said. "I
Believe that would be best. Who else do you Suspect might Have Our Treasure?" Andras Asked. "The
Least Likely Suspect, I Think." Goro Replied. "and Who, Pray Tell, is the "Least Likely Suspect"?" Andras
Replied. "Ichiro Ishibumi?" Goro Asked. "I Have My Doubts. Ichiro Ishibumi is a Little Known Human
Filmmaker." Andras Replied. "Then Who do you think?" Goro Asked. "The Cult of Unas, Perhaps."
Andras Replied. "Hey, Yeah!" Maybe they Took It Back! They were Guarding it after all." Goro Said,
Going to the Cult's Compartment, running into Giuseppa Along the Way. "It's You! You're the Italian
Fuck who got us stuck on the Wall back in the Tomb of Unas!" Goro Shouted. "Oh Pish-Posh, That's All in
the Past. Let go. Move on." Giuseppa Replied. "Maybe The Treasure is Hidden Behind all this Luggage."
Goro Guessed. "Possibly. Let us Unload, Shall we?" Andras replied, as they Unloaded The Luggage, to
find that the Treasure was not there. "Nope. Not there." Goro Said. "There is a Curious Sarcophagus
Here. Maybe it is Hidden inside the Sarcophagus." Andras Suggested. "Goros Opened the Sarcophagus,
to find nothing but a Mummified Unas. "I am Sensing a Feeling of Unspeakable Dread. Seal the
Sarcophagus Immediately!" Screamed Andras. Goro Quickly Closed the Sarcophagus and Dashed away
from it. "Note to Self: Never open another Sarcophagus." Goro thought, as he opened the Door to the
Cult's Compartment. "I Hope we're not interrupting anything." Goro Said. "Of course not! I was just
leaving." Giuseppa Said, before Admonishing the cult Father "I won't rest until you give me the secret of
the Fallen Seraph Reversion." Warned Giuseppa. "Farewell, My Love." Ahkmunrah Said. "Whatever."
Giuseppa Said, Grumbling as she left. "Hey There! Sorry for taking your treasure, Ahk." Goro Said. "Set
your mind at ease about that. That was merely a passing fancy. I am now a Man." Ahkmunrah replied.
"You have yet to become a man, Ahkmunrah." The cultist father said. "I fell in love with the most
Beautiful Maiden I have ever Laid Eyes on." Ahkmenrah Said. "You Mean-" Goro Said, before being
Shushed. "My Father must not know about our betrothal." Ahkmenrah Replied. "Betrothal, You
say?" Andras Said. "He has yet to propose, but I can See the feeling in his eyes and in his heart."
Ahkmunrah Continued. "What do you see in him, anyway?" Goro Asked. "He has a Tragic Aura. He is
laboring under a Fallen Angel-Related Spell. "Do you mean to say that he is a slave?" Andras Asked. "It
would appear so, my friend." Ahkmunrah Replied. "What were Giuseppa and your Father discussing,
anyway?" Goro Asked. ""Giuseppa"? is that what she is known by. It is comparable to a chorus of angels.
Also, My father told me I am Not to speak of it. But I do have an Idea what it might be. How Shameful.
She Tried very difficultly to avoid making Eye Contact with me. I apologize Greatly for Humiliating your
Fiancée. Perhaps I can procure a replacement set of clothing?" Ahkmunrah Finished, Sorrowfully. "well
that's kind of you." Goro Said. "Wait here." Ahkmunrah Said, as he went to the Compartment dresser
and found an old, ragged Kuoh Academy uniform. "I Found it one day on a voyage to the Americas. It
appears to be a Uniform for an Educational Center." Ahkmenrah Said. "Thank You very much." Andras
Said, Taking the Uniform. "Your Gratitude is Comforting, Lady Andras." Ahkmunrah Said. "Know
anything about the Treasure?" Goro Asked. "I have more important matters to ponder about at the
moment, I'm afraid." Ahkmunrah said. "what Brings you here, anyway? Vacation?" Goro Asked. "We are
immigrating to the Country you call "Japan"." Ahkmunrah Said. "I saw Someone from your cult in an old
house, you know." Goro Said. "Mother? She Might have found somewhere comforting for us to live."
Ahkmunrah Said." "Hope it works out for ya, buddy!" Goro Finished. Ahkmunrah sighed contently and
Said "Mr. Argento"." Under his breath. "Hey! Remember us?" Goro Asked. "Yes. I Believe I do. You
appear to be the one responsible for taking the treasure we have guarded for 6,000 years." The Cult
Father Replied. "Speaking of treasure, Someone took it from US!" Goro Said. "How unexpected." The
Cult father Said. Suddenly Goro and The Cult Leader Laughed Uproariously. "Can we inspect your
trunk?" Goro asked, casually. "I'm afraid not." The Cult father finished. "Where is your father?" Goro
asked. "We left him to mind the tomb." The Cult Father Said. "So…You're not mad at us for raiding your
tomb?" Goro Asked. "Of COURSE not! Losing it was the most fortuitous thing that has happened to us!
At long, long last, we can finally Immigrate. Is that not Promising, my Son?" The Cult Leader Asked.
"Most Definitely, Father." Ahkmunrah Answered. "What was Giuseppa Doing here?" Goro Asked. "If you
Speak of That Strange Man, I wish not to speak of it. However, I WILL say that he longs for something
that only I am capable of bestowing upon him." The Cult leader replied. "Why must you be so
secretive?" Ahkmunrah Asked. "After all we've been through together in the tomb, I guess I can Speak
Freely." Goro Said. "yes?" the Cult Leader Replied. "I'm sorry to say that your son is harboring a huge
crush." Goro Said. "On Whom, Pray tell?" The Cult Leader Asked. "On us." Goro Said. "Well,
then…SEXUAL REJECTION!" The Cult Leader Shouted, as he Cast the Spell upon Goro and Andras. "What
do you plan on doing, once you reach Japan?" Andras Asked. "To Join my Wife. She has managed to
procure a home for us." The Cult leader Said. "Keep Ridin' the Rails, Sir." Goro Said. "Thank you Very
Much indeed, Friend." The Cult Leader Said. "Hmmm….They think they can keep us from expecting the
Trunk, eh?" Goro Thought, as he Activated his Boosted Gear, and Threw his voice to the Steamer trunk.
"Help! Boy trapped in trunk!" Goro Said, through the Trunk, before saying to the Cult leader "Got
somebody in the trunk, eh? Well, I'm afraid that Railroad Regulation #268 leaves us no choice but to
have a look." Goro Said. "Odd. You do not appear to have authority." The Cult Father Said. "We are
considering Joining the Railroad police, and we must inspect the trunk." Andras Said. "Carry on, then."
The Cult Father Said, as Goro Opened the Trunk. "Hmmm…Magic, Clothes, Blankets, Pots,
Pans…Everything Checks out here. Sorry about that." Goro Said, taking a Careful look. "Apology
Accepted." The Cult Father Said. "What is that, anyway?" Andras Asked. "That is the Fallen Seraph
Reversion Spell. Pay it no Mind. Only ones such as myself can Perform such Spells." The Cult Father Said,
as Goro and Andras Left. "There's gotta be a way to catch the bastard that took our treasure!" Goro
said, in frustration. "Who do you think it is, then?" Andras Asked. "Akira Takarada?" Goro Guessed. "I
Sincerely Doubt it." Andras Replied. "Then Whose Compartment Should we Search, Then?" Goro Asked.
"Otanashi's Unappealing Yakuza Mob, I Would Think." Andras Replied. "Let's Give it a Try." Goro Said as
they went to the Yakuza's Compartment. They Knocked on the Door, and Brass Knuckles Came out
Saying "Hey There, Boss. We was only—It Ain't Him! Just those 2 Mugs from Nagoya. Yeah?" Brass
Knuckles Said. "What are you doing here?" Goro Asked. "We Go where Otanashi Goes. We're his
Retinue, Like. Only, He Don't Know Nada about our Secret Project." Brass Knuckles Said. "How many
Elves Are there between You, 2-Bit, Puffy Pants, Grease Palms, and Paperboy?" Goro Asked. "Last time I
Checked? 153.5." Brass Knuckles Replied. ".5?" Goro Asked. "Bloody the Dhampir is only Half Yakuza. "I
Need to Inspect your Trunk." Goro Said. "I Bet You do….Creep!" Brass Knuckles Said. "What I meant to
Say was, We're looking for the Treasure. "Well, You Ain't Gettin' yer Mitts on mine, Wierdo! Brass
Knuckles Said. "Otanashi Wants to See you." Goro Said. "What Can I Do? I can't Leave now! None of us
can go nowheres until the Secret Project's done. "Some Bastard Looted Our Steamer Trunk, and We're
Checking Every Compartment." Goro Said. "You Got My Sympathy, Pallie, But I Can't Let Yez In. Not Until
We're Through with Our Secret Project." Brass Knuckles Said. "Just What is Your "Secret Project"?"
Andras Asked. "I Ain't Allowed to Talk about it. Youse'll have to talk to the Project manager. HEY, 2-
BIT!" Brass Knuckles Said, as he Returned to the Compartment. Suddenly, 2-Bit Emerged and Said
"What's up, Buddy?". 2-Bit Asked. "Are You Well, 2-Bit?" Andras Asked. "Yeah, You look Kinda Pale."
Goro Said. "I'm Gettin' that a lot! Maybe I Got Bitten or somethin'. No Pain, though…in fact, I never felt
better!" 2-bit Replied. "Hate to Break it to you, but I think you're a Dhampir. A combination of human
and vampire." Goro Said. "Aw, 'gwan! You don't buy that guff anymore than I do! I Could go for a nice,
Juicy Blood Sausage, though." 2-bit Replied. "2-Bit the Dhampir Mob Leader…" Andras Said. "Soon to be
a Beloved Summer Special!" Goro finished. "Quit Kiddin' around!" 2-Bit Said. "On to More Important
Things, What's this about a secret Project?" Goro Asked. "It's a Weapon! And Boy, What a Weapon! This
Baby'll Have Old Man Otanashi Turnin' Backflips Once we Spring it on him. Just Puttin' the Finishing
touches on it right now. "Give us a Sneak Peek?" Goro Said. "Nosiree. We Ain't Lettin' the Cat outta the
Bag Just yet! Gotta get it Tested First, to make Sure we got a Winner." 2-bit Said. "Otanashi Wants to
See You." Goro Said. "Aw Jeez, He Does? Cover For Me, Will ya, Fellas? I Can't Leave this compartment
until the Project's Finished." 2-bit Replied. "It was Worth a Shot." Goro Thought. "We Can get someone
for you." Goro Said. "Great, Pally. Send 'im Over!" 2-bit Said. "Hold on a Minute." Goro Said. "Be Right
Here." 2-Bit Said. "This is More Difficult than I Anticipated. Who Do You Believe Did it?" Andras Asked.
"Haruo Nakajima?" Goro Asked. "Very Doubtful. Perhaps Azumi Took it." Andras Said. "Maybe. Let's Get
to it." Goro Replied, as they went past the Yakuza Compartment, to hear "Ride of the Valkyries" Playing
Faintly from within the Compartment. "That Music Box Sounds Suspicious. Well…Wanna Go?" Goro
Asked. "Onward!" Andras Replied. "Hey Azumi! I—She's Sleeping." Goro Said, as he turned off the Music
Box. "Azumi Woke Up and Said "You've got Some nerve Waking me Up in the middle of my nap! But,
Can't Say I'm Surprised. What Can I Do for you Fellows?" Azumi Asked. "You Sleep to Classical 19th
Human Century Concertos?" Andras Asked. "Always Have. Puts Me out, Like a Nightlight." Azumi
Replied. "Unusual. I Always Sleep to The "Concerto of Doom" Written by my Ancestors." Andras Said,
staring at Goro. "My Parents Used to Call me "Unusual Porpoise". Pretty Odd, Right?" Azumi Asked.
"Yeah. Speaking of "Odd", How did you manage to Get your own Compartment? Goin' Legit?" Goro
Asked. "I can Afford to, thanks to our old friend, Unas. Those Gold Plated Scarabs Felch a Nice Price on
the commodities Market, these days…" Azumi Replied. "Someone Went and STOLE OUR TREASURE!"
Goro Said. "You mean the Treasure you found?" Azumi Asked. "Yeah." Goro Replied, "I Feel Awkward
Saying This, but I guess it's a Small Price to Pay. He Obviously doesn't have a sense of Decency anyway."
Azumi Thought. "Well, then, Frisk me. I Don't Mind." Azumi said, Nonchalantly. "You really Want to be
Stripsearched in Public?" Goro Asked. "I Guess it's a Small Price to Pay to Prove I'm Clean." Azumi
Replied, as She Removed her Dress and Petticoats. "See? I'm Clean." Azumi Said, pointing at her Naked
Chest and Labia, before Putting her Attire on again. "I Guess You're Clear, then. Be a Good Girl, now."
Goro Said. "I'm a WOMAN!" Azumi grumbled. "We've Got a Big Surprise for You. You've Been Chosen to
participate in a Research project. "Uh-huh. What's the Catch?" Azumi Asked. "No Catch." Goro Said.
"Simply Follow the Researcher in the Next Compartment…" Andras Said. "Where You'll Be Able to test
out Something new!" Goro Said. "No Offense, but I'm too Busy. Even If I Wasn't, I'm Not Interested. I
Mean, What do I Look Like, a Slave?" Azumi Replied. "Come On. Take it like an Adult. All you gotta do is
do your part to finish the Researcher's test." Goro Said. "I've got more Important things to do. You can
do it if you want." Azumi Said. Goro and Andras Left the Compartment and Unloaded another pile of
Luggage, with no luck at finding the Treasure. Remembering He Still was Cursed, He Sent for 2-bit, and
told him to wait. Goro Went to Azumi's Compartment. Azumi Left, and Said "Okay Guys, Cut to the
Punchline" Azumi Said. "It's Time!" Goro Said, Repulsing Azumi to 2-bit's Arms, as they Went in the
Compartment. After a Long Pause, Azumi and 2-bit left. "You Really think it'll work?" 2-bit Asked.
"Think? I Know it will Work! I May not look it, But I can Actually Hold my Own in a Gunfight. In all my
Years of Experience, this was the Greatest weapon Idea I've Ever Heard!" Azumi Replied,
Enthusiastically. "Hot Dog! That was Just What We was Hopin' t'hear. Thanks, Buddy!" 2-bit Said, as He
Returned to the Compartment. "Revelatory. Positively Revelatory! I Daresay that Weapon's Changed the
Course of my Entire Life!" Azumi Said, Returning to her Compartment. Before Closing the door, She Said
"In Case You're Wondering, It's a Fat Man, a Missile Launcher that Launches Nuclear Missiles." Azumi
Said, Closing the Door. Peeking through the Caboose Door, Goro Thought "Nice Caboose, but it doesn't
look like it's there Either, Judging by what I See through the Door TO the Caboose." Goro Throught,
before Suggesting "The Only Other Passenger on the Train is Giuseppa." "Onward then, to the Train
Compartment of Giuseppa Argento!" Andras Said. "Is She Always this Dramatic?" Goro Thought, as they
went to Giuseppa's Compartment, to Hear Ahkmunrah's Voice. I Shall take my leave for a bit."
Ahkmunrah Said. "Where do you plan on going, my son? The Cultist Father Asked. "I am going for a Walk
around the Train. "Don't think you can outwit me. We have yet to arrive in Japan." The Cult Father Said.
"Not to Worry, I Shall See if I can Retrieve the Fallen Seraph Reversion Spell." Ahkmunrah Said. "Good
Luck. May Unas be with you, son." The Cult Leader Said, as Ahkmunrah Left the Compartment and
Proceeded to Giuseppa's Compartment. "I Have Something you may find of interest." Ahkmunrah Said.
"Finally! Give me the—Letter?" Giuseppe Replied, Awkwardly. "I Bared my Soul within it." Ahkmunrah
replied. "I'm touched to the Core of my Heart. Let me put it with my keepsakes. I'll Read it later. Now
Listen Very Carefully. I only want one thing. Do you know what that is?" Giuseppe Replied, with a
Sinister Grin. That Remark left Ahkmunrah Tongue-tied. Goro Threw his Voice into Ahkmunrah and Said
"The Fallen Seraph Reversion Spell?". "Tell Me! Where can I Find it?!" Giuseppe Replied. "In the
Sarcophagus! In the Next Car!" Goro Said, using Ahkmunrah's Voice. "Thank You very much. You saved
me from a fate worse than death. I'm so happy I could kiss you." Giuseppe Replied. As Ahkmunrah
Closed in for a Kiss, Giuseppe then Said "But I Won't.", before Leaving. Ahkmunrah then Promptly
Returned to his compartment. Goro and Andras Entered Giuseppe's Compartment. "Garlic, Crosses, and
Wolfsbane. What do you make of that?" Goro Asked. "Methinks he is trying to ward off Vampires."
Andras Replied, as Goro opened the Closet door, revealing a limestone Bust of Raynare Fondling her
Naked Breasts. "Odd. Our compartment did not seem to contain a shrine in the closet." Andras Said.
"Whose Bust is this?" Goro Said. "Raynare, the Youngest and most Horrible of Fallen Angels." Andras
Said. "Interesting." Goro Said, picking up the Love Letter. "Hmmm…"My Dearest Giuseppa, There is an
itch that Spreads Across my Healthy young Flesh, whenever you draw near. That itch is Love, and only
your long fingernails can scratch it. Do You Ache for Me as Well. You need not answer. I can See the
Agony in your eyes, whenever I see you. But I Must Implore you to Keep our love a Secret, as my Ogre of
a Father would not be pleased, but little does he realize, I can now make my own decisions, and my
Grandfather has an Irrational Hatred for Citizens from Italy. Be Patient, My Love, for I Forsee a Paradise
where Italians and Egyptians might Lock Lips for All Eternity. Sincerely, Ahkmunrah, of the Cult of Unas."
That's Weird. "Goro Said, Reading the Letter, "Interesting, In My opinion." Andras Said, proceeding to
open the Trunk, when Suddenly Giuseppa Intervenes. "Oh, My. Visitors." Goro Gasped in Shock. "How
Nice of you to Drop in on my Humble Home-Away-From-Home." Giuseppa said, in a Backhanded Voice,
as She Kicked Goro and Andras out of her Compartment. "Sorry You Couldn't Stay for the Aperitifs. Now
If you'll Excuse me…" Giuseppa Finished, Returning to the Sarcophagus. Goro Went to The Cult's
Compartment and Showed the Love letter to The cult Father. "Ahkmunrah! What is the Meaning of
This?!" The Cult Father Yelled, Furiously. "I Will marry Giuseppa." Ahkmunrah Shouted, Defiantly. "You
Shall Do No Such Thing!" The Cult Father Shouted, as Giuseppa Came and Said "Am I Interrupting?!"
Giuseppa Said, Sinisterly as she Entered the Compartment. "Defiler of Innocents! Kraut of Krauts! I Curse
You!" The Cult Father Said, Furiously as he Cast a Sexual Rejection Spell unto Giuseppa. "NOOOOO!"
Ahkmunrah Shouted. "I Could Come back, Later." Giuseppa Said, repulsing Ahkmunrah to the Wall. "I
am Not Amused. Not Even Remotely Amused." Ahkmunrah Said, in a Smug tone. "You'll Survive." Goro
Said. "See if you can Survive THIS! Dress…Break!" Ahkmunrah Shouted, Obliterating Her Clothes again. "I
Guess it's a Small Price to Pay." Goro Thought. "I Have an Idea. If You Release Some of your Breast Milk
into this Glass I Found on the Room Service tray near Otanashi's Room, I Might Be Able to Trick him into
letting us in. "Very Well. But Bear in Mind that This is Strictly a One…time…Deal!" Andras Said. She
Twitched her Hands but Couldn't bring herself to release her Milk. "I Can't Do this with everyone
Watching. I Simply Cannot Help You until You Take Me Somewhere Private." Andras Said. "Goro Covered
Andras' Buttocks, Chest and Vagina, as They Snuck into Their Compartment Long Enough For Her to
Release Her Breast Milk into the Glass. Andras Groaned as Every Last Drop Filled the Glass, as Her
Breasts Shrunk in Size.. "At Last. It Will Take Me Many a Year to Regrow my Bosom." Andras Said. Goro
Removed His Coat and Trousers. "Here. Put these on." Goro Said, as He Put on another Pair of trousers.
"Thank You. That was Quite Awkward." Goro Put The Breast Milk and The Chicken Balls that They
Carried With them on the Service Tray and Knocked on the Door. "You Deaf or Somethin'?! I'm Busy!
Beat it!" Otanashi Shouted from inside his Compartment. "Room Service! Sorry. Can't Come in. My
Assistant's not Decent." Goro Said. "For the Love'a God, It's About Damn Time! Just a Second." Otanashi
Said. As Goro Shrunk Himself with Andras and Hid in the Chicken ball Jar as Otanashi Showed Up.
"Chicken Balls! Hot Dog! And Milk! Just Like Ma Used to Make! They May be Unhealthy, But They Go
Down the Ol' Hatch Soooooo Gooood." Otanashi Said, as He Picked up the Tray, and Guzzled the Milk
down. "Gotta Love That Zest!" Otanashi Muttered. Goro and Andras Returned to Normal Size after
Climbing Out of The Jar. "What the Hell?!" Otanashi Yelled, Accidently Bonking his Head against the
Wall, Falling Unconscious. "He's Out Cold! Search the Steamer Trunk!" Goro Said. "Understood." Andras
Replied, Opening the Trunk, finding nothing but a Dagger and an Ominous Note Written in Blood: "The
Fallen Angels Have Been Avenged. -Raynare the Ruthless". "How Utterly Strange. Andras Said. "Who
Could've Written that?" Goro Asked. "I Know not." Suddenly Otanashi Came to and Found his Steamer
Trunk Opened. "I been Duped! Beat it, Damn it! Beat it!" Otanashi Yelled, kicking Goro and Andras Out
of His Compartment and Slamming the Door Shut. Goro Went to the Yakuza Compartment. "Yeah?"
Brass Knuckles Said, in response to Goro's Knocking on the Door. "Now that your Secret's Out, Mind if
We Inspect your Trunk?" Goro Asked. "Naw, C'mon in! We Got Nuttin t'hide!" Brass Knuckles Replied, as
He, Goro and Andras Entered the Compartment. Goro and Azumi Searched Every Single Trunk before
Leaving. "153.5 Steamer Trunks, but No Treasure. Lotta Prototype Weapons, Though." Goro Said. "May
we Please Speak with 2-bit?" Andras Asked, before Brass Knuckles Sent for 2-Bit. "Otanashi wants to See
You." Goro Said. "Great! 'Cause I Wanna See HIM! Can't Wait to see the Look on his face when I tell him
about our new FAT MAN NUCLEAR MISSILE LAUNCHER!" 2-Bit Said, Before Proceeding to the Next Car
and Sucking out Giuseppa's Blood. "Aaaugh! Don't Bite Me! Don't Bite Me!" Giuseppa Said, before
Fainting and Slowly Dying. 2-bit Promptly Returned after that. "Well, What'd he Think?" Goro Said.
"Who?" 2-Bit Asked. "Otanashi. About the Weapon. "Oh Yeah. Matter of Fact, I never made it to his
compartment. I got caught up in some personal business along the way" 2-Bit Said, before Coughing a
drop of Blood. "'scuse me." 2-bit Finished, before returning to the Compartment. Andras Slapped Goro
in the left Cheek "I Simply Cannot Believe I Sacrificed my Precious Mother's Milk for Nothing!" Andras
Shouted. "So-rry" Goro Replied. "Never Do that Again!". Andras Yelled. "Noted. Now Let's Have a
Looksee at Giuseppe's Trunk." Goro Said, as they Went to Giuseppe's Compartment. "Y'know, I Really
Didn't Like that 2-Bit Killed Giuseppe By Sucking All her Blood." Goro Said. "Yes. It is Most Unfortunate.
Believers are Sacred in My Culture." Andras Said, As Goro Looked at the Trunks, he discovered that it
was empty. Goro and Andras Left the Compartment. "Well, That's the Last of 'em. We Cleared Every
Last Name on the List." Goro Said. "Save…One. I Must admit. You Had Me Completely Fooled. Now I
Understand Why You were Constantly Concerned about the Treasure and Always Wandering off for a
"Smoke Break" as You Humans Call it." Andras Said. "Did Not!" Goro Said." Suddenly, the Train Came to
a Screeching Halt as the Conductor Shouted "Nagoya Station! Now Arriving at Nagoya Station, Nagoya,
Japan!", opening the Engine Door, before Closing the Door Again. The Cultists, The Yakuza, Azumi, and
Otanashi Gathered Outside of their Respective Compartments. In a Startling Twist, they Discovered that
Azumi was the Culprit! "WHAT?!" Goro Screamed in Surprise. "What is the Meaning of This?! Hand over
the Treasure, if you Value Your Life!" Andras Said, as She Readied her Dragon Bow. "That's Right! Azumi
Shido. Poor Little Azumi Shido. Not Worth Bothering With, Not Good enough to Hang out with the big
boys, oh no! She's just a WOMAN! Well, THIS insignificant Girlie's Beat Quite a Few of the Big Boys at
their Own Game and now, I'm Going Home with all the Treasure, while the Others are left, Scratching
their Heads, wondering what hit them!" Azumi Recited Loudly, and Sinisterly. "Naaaaaaagoya Station!"
The Conductor Shouted, as the Train Finally Stopped. "Any Last Words Before We Part?" Azumi Asked.
"Yeah! Take This!" Goro Shouted, as he Punched Azumi in the Chest So Hard that it Sent Her Flying.
"That Wasn't part of the Plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" Azumi Screamed, as she Flew through the Air. "Well,
THAT was Anticlimactic." Goro Said. "I Found It Most Exhilarating. Now Come on! We Must Return to
Kenji-san." Andras Said, Treasure Chest in Hand, as they Both Exited the Train Station and Returned to
the Theater, where a Ceremony Took Place. They Awaited their Cue, as Kenji Emerged to The Stage
Chapter 10: Interrupted Once More
"Did You Know that Azumi Was Actually Irina's Great Aunt?" Rias Asked. "Doesn't Surprise me even a
little." Issei Replied. "It's a Shame that Giuseppa, Who Coincidently was Asia's Ancestor, Was Drained of
her Blood by that Dhampir. I Even Think that "Bloody the Dhampir" Might actually Resemble Gasper."
Rias Said. "What Happened After That?" Issei Said. "I've Never had a Man Suck at my Breasts or Labia,
You Know!" Asia Shouted, Again from behind the Couch. "Nobody Asked You, Asia!" Rias Shouted. "You
were Saying?" Issei Said. "This is the Ending of the Story. Goro and Andras Were on the Verge of their
Moment of Triumph. Or So it would Seem…" Rias Continued.
Chapter 11: The Big Reward
"Here They Are, Ladies and Gentlemen! Frese From their Triumphant Tour of Lower Middle Egypt, The
Scourge of the Cult of Unas! Treasure Hunters Extroardinaire! Please Welcome….Goro Hyodo and
Andras Gremory!" Kenji Announced, as the Audience Cheered. "Greetings to you all! We Always Aim to
Please. I Present to You, Morrisawa Kenji…The Treasure of the Now-Deceased Egyptian Boy-King
Tutankhamen!" Andras Shouted, as She Gave Kenji the Treasure. "Soon as you cough up our Prize, that
is." Goro Said. "Of Course. But Before I Present the BIG REWARD…Perhaps I Can Persuade our Intrepid
Adventurers into Telling us About their Expedition!" Kenji Said. "Not Much to it, to be honest." Goro
Said. "We Came…We Saw…We Conquered! Now, If you'll Hand Over our Prize…" Andras Finished.
"Modest to the Very End, But I am Afraid the Audience Demands the Gruesome Details. Am I Correct,
My friends?" Kenji Asked, as another Round of Cheering Sounded. "So, Goro and Andras…How is it that
you Penetrated the Gate of the Sphinx?" Kenji Asked. "After Getting the Scroll Back from Otanashi's
Flunkies, We Read a Technique from the Scroll That Allowed us to Shrink down to microscopic Size.
Using this, We Ran Through the Gate, after using the Technique, called "Scale". "An Astounding Story!
All The More Pleasing for Being Implausible!" Kenji Said, as the Audience Cheered again. "It is a Shame
that You Lost Your Tickets, Yes? How is it, that you made it to the Tomb?" Kenji Asked. "After Noticing a
Stowaway in our Compartment, We Shut the Trunk lid, and Quieted her Down, noting her muffled
protests, Allowing us to Use Scale to Hide, Avoiding the Conductor's Notice!" Goro Explained. "Very
Shrewd. Astounding? Correct?" Kenji Asked, Followed by another round of cheering. "However, Inside
the Tomb, You were Faced with many more Dangers! Deadly Traps! Magic Spells! Bloodthirsty Cultists!
However Did you Manage to Even the Odds and Secure the Treasure?" Kenji Asked. "Noting that the
Leader's Protection Spell was Supported by a Series of Special Keys, We Turned ourselves into Bas-Relief
Tomb Carvings, Shuffled to the Marquee where the Inscription for the Spell was Located, and Added
Additional Glyphs with the Effect of Reversing the Spell!" Andras Replied. "We Also Killed a Naga!" Goro
Said. "What a Strange and Compelling, if Convoluted Story! Audience! Give them a Hand For What
they've Been Through!" Kenji Said. "I Have Heard Rumors About Akira Otanashi Interfering with your
adventure, Determined to Snatch the Treasure. How did you Make it Past him?" Kenji Asked. "Andras-
Senpai Put up a Good fight, but She was Overpowered, so Taking Responsibility into my own Hands, I
Used my Trusty Boosted Ventriloquism to Trick him into thinking we were hiding inside a Falling Statue,
and he Bought it and Left. "We Also had to Recite the Inscription depicted on the Forehead of the Sphinx
in order to Exit the Tomb." Andras Finished. "A Startling Upset! Give them a Hand For the Scuffle they
Settled, Everyone!" Kenji Shouted, as the Audience Cheered, "and it Would Seem that the Adventure
does not end There!" Kenji Said. "I Was Also Told that you were Victims of a Brazen Nighttime Heist on
the Train ride back from Egypt! Tell us How You Managed to Thwart The Thief, and Take back the
Treasure!" Kenji Said. "The Culprit was None other than the Irrepressible Lolita Known as Azumi Shido,
the Famed "Lost Girl"." Andras Replied. "She Almost Got away with it, as a Matter of Fact, But We were
a LITTLE too Tough for Her!" Goro Finished. "A Resourceful, Persistent Pair, Don't You Agree?" Kenji
Said, With The Audience Cheering. "Perhaps NOW we will Receive our Reward?" Andras Inquired.
Abandoning his Calm Demeanor, Kenji Said, With a Sickening Grin, with his Voice Tumbling to a Lower
Pitch, "Fear Not, My Talented Friend. You Shall Receive Your Reward Right…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!",
before Jesticulating Wildly, as the Scenery of the Stage Dramatically Altered. "My Dear Andras, You have
been Chosen to Play the Starring role the Greatest Spectacle of the Age…THE SUMMONING OF
RAYNARE!" Kenji Continued. "This is Complete Lunacy! Where is Goro?!" Andras Shouted. "Raynare,
Youngest and Most Horrible of the Fallen Angels, Banished from Heaven Since the Beginning of
Time…But You! With Your Extraordinary Summoning Expertise, You Shall Intone the Words to Bring Him
from The Realm of Eternal Suffering, to the Earth!" Kenji Finished. "I Most Certainly Will Not! Have you
Even the Slightest Idea Who You are Speaking to?!" Andras Screamed in an Admonishing Voice. "Yes.
"Have you the Slightest Idea Who You are Speaking to." Should You Refuse to Play your Role, a Certain
Love Interest of Yours will meet an Unfortunate Demise!" Kenji Said, With an Evil Grin, using a Magic
Circle to Forcefully Trap Andras In Place and Bring her to the Statue. Andras Turns to Notice that Goro
has been Chained to a Crucifix. "Goro! Noooooooo!" Andras Shouted, Nervously. Kenji Cleared his
Throat to Return Andras' Attention back to him, before Saying "An Unfortunate Demise through the
Removal of his Boosted Gear!" Kenji Finished. "Help Me!" Goro Shouted, Panicking. "Why Must I Do
This?" Andras Shouted. "You are of a race Relative the Fallen Angels, Which Reminds me…" Kenji Said,
Before Using a Magic Circle to Confiscate Andras' Dragon Bow. "I Shall not Have You Trying anything out
of the Ordinary." Kenji Said. "Very Well. Let us Get this over With. Start the Entrance Music." Andras
Said, Reluctantly. "Raynare The Ruthless…Deceptive Empress of the Chaotic Fires…Ascend to Us Through
the Writhing Wastes of Outer Darkness…We Summon Thee, with the deathless words from the Grimoire
of Entities." Kenji Shouted, Dramatically, With a Magic Circle Surrounding him, and an Eerily Ominous
Aura Surrounding him. "Now You Say "Watashi no chikubi o suu shite kudasai, watashi no rabia wa
anata no karada o musabori kuu rosuto". "I Do not Understand. What is My Motivation?" Andras Asked.
"Abject Fear!" Kenji Shouted. "Now I Understand. Goro Tried his Best to think of A Plan. He Noticed his
Jar of Chicken Balls Hanging from the Ceiling. He Tried to Grab the Jar With his Mouth, but He Couldn't
Quite Reach it. "Boost!" a Voice Sounded from the Boosted Gear, Giving him More Strength, as He
Opened his Mouth to Reach 2 Chicken Balls. "Cease Your Stalling at Once!" Kenji Ordered. "Very Well!"
Andras Replied. "Raynare Come Forth!" Andras Said, Backhandedly. "No. You Must Say: "Watashi no
chikubi o suu shite kudasai, watashi no rabia wa anata no karada o musabori kuu rosuto". Kenji Said. "I
Refuse to Listen to this Lunacy." Andras Said. "SAY…YOUR…LINE! You are Trying my Patience!" Kenji
Shouted. "My Apologies" Andras Shouted, Backhandedly. "Boost." Ddraig Shouted from within the
Boosted Gear, As Goro Swung his Head, and by Random Chance, the Chicken Balls Flew into the Nostrils.
"Watashi no chikubi-" Andras Said, before Faking Coughing and Saying "Second Hand Cigarette."
"INTONE!" Kenji Shouted." As the Sphinx Sent the Dragon Bow Flying to Andras' Arms. "Andras Fired
an Arrow at Kenji, before he Unholstered a Gun and Shot the Arrow away. "What a Poltroon! Do you
Really Believe that I was not Already Prepared for that?!" Kenji Shouted. "Umbral Arrowstorm!" Andras
Shouted, as She Fired a Wave of Dragon Arrows. However, Kenji Shot them All Down. "Try that Again,
and I Shall Slay Your Love interest." Kenji Shouted. "Stop, Andras-Senpai! I Have an Idea! Boosted Gear
Gift!" Goro Shouted, transferring his Power to Andras. "I See her!" Andras Shouted. "Raynare?" Kenji
Asked. "it would Appear So." Andras Replied. "Prove it. What is the Description of the Creature you
See?!" Kenji Shouted. "She Appears to Be in a State of Nudity, with Black-Colored Hair, Razor Sharp
Teeth, and Violet colored Corneas." Andras Explained. "Yes. That Would fit her Bodily appearance
Description. Now Let Me Have a Look!" Kenji Shouted, as He Pushed Andras Out of the way. "Study
Carefully…" Andras Said. Using her Newfound Power, She Said, With His Voice: "Watashi no chikubi o
suu shite kudasai, watashi no rabia wa anata no karada o musabori kuu rosuto". "Uh Oh." Kenji Said,
before A Naked Fallen Angel Female with the Exact Description as Andras Described. Raynare
Menacingly Fondled Her Breasts, as they Engorged with Power, before Discharging an Acidic Blast from
her Nipples, Killing Kenji, before She Flew Away, Cackling Maniacally. "THAT'S Raynare? She Looks more
like a Slutty Exhibitionist to Me!" Goro Said, Chuckling. Andras Unfurled her Wings, and Took Goro from
his Restraints, as they Exited the Theatre. "I Should've Known. The Theater was a Front for Kenji's Plans!
The Audience Was a Cult, and Kenji was their Master!" Goro Said. "Let us Find Someone to Look after
this Treasure, Shall we?" Andras Asked, as they Went to Broken Corners to the old House. "It would
seem that the Theatre where Reena was, Earlier was actually a Façade for a Sinister Summoning
Ceremony! You Must Keep it Safe" Andras Said. "My Friends, I Greatly Appreciate You Thinking of Us,
However, We Have Moved on. Japan is quite Different, and Ahkmunrah is Attending the Educational
Center." The Cult Father Said. "the Name "Ahkmunrah" No Longer Applies. I wish to be known as
"Tutankhamen II"." Ahkmunrah Said. "I Greatly Apologize, But You Understand How it is, before Leaving
to Join Reena in the Bath. "We Understand. Come on, Goro, Let us Go Home and Bathe Together."
Andras Said. "Man, has Japan Changed these Guys. They Follow Japanese Customs I Hardly Recognize
'em. Look! They're Even Taking Baths Together!" Goro Said, Gesturing at The Bathtub. "He is Correct.
We have Fallen Far. We Have Forgotten Our Heritage. We Have Forgotten that we are a Cult." Reena
Said, Sorrowfully. "Very Well. I Shall Comply." The Cult Father Said. "Great! Let us Know if-" Goro said,
before Being interrupted. "However, You Must Assist Us in Guarding the Treasure!" The Cult Father Said.
"You will Reside Here, With Us. Not to worry, there is Still a Bit of Space here." Reena Said. "How About
we Compromise? My Grandkids'll Move in and Help you keep an Eye on the Chest." Goro Proposed.
"You have Children?" Andras Asked, Confused. "it is settled, then. We Must Cast the Spell of Protection
to Keep it Safe." The Cult Father Said. "May I Do the Honors?" Ahkmunrah Asked. "Gladly." The Cult
Father Said. "Stand Clear, Lest the Magic Kill You." Reena Said. "Wouldn't want THAT to Happen." Goro
Said, Chuckling. Unfortunately, Andras thought he was Using "Dress Break". "Dress Break! I am Not
Losing any more Attire!" Andras Shouted, accidently Running in the Way of the Spell. "ONEE-SAMA,
NO!" Goro Screamed, as He Tried to Rescue her, but was a Tad too late, as the Spell had Reduced them
to Inanimate Skeletons, Killing them, Leaving behind Forbidden Balor View, and Boosted Gear. The
Dragon Bow was Destroyed in the Process. "There does seem to be another home we could live in…"
The Cult Father Said, as he, Ahkmunrah, and Reena Promptly Left the Home.
Epilogue
"…And That's the Story of How Our Ancestors Raided the Tomb of Unas, and how Raynare Came to be.
The End." Rias Finally Finished. "Wow. That, Was one Heckuva Story! I Didn't Even Know Raynare Could
Squirt Acid from her Nipples." Issei Said. "You Seem a little Tired. Let's Have a Bath Together. Care to
Join us, Asia?" Rias Asked. "Absolutely." Asia Replied, as they went to the Bath. "Keep in mind, I
Promised Issei He Could Suck My Breasts." Rias Said. "Only if he Performs Cunnilingus on Me." Asia Said.
""Cunnilingus"?" Issei Asked. "Sucking at a Female's Vagina. Especially the Labia and the Clitoris." Issei
Grinned Uncomfortably. Which would seem Uncharacteristic.
Note from the Author:
I Understand that Chapters 2,4,6,8,10, and the Epilogue and the Introduction are a Tad Condensed, meaning Short. But I Could not Come up with anything else. I Hope You'll Understand it was a Mistake made in Good Faith.
