A/N: Hi people! Here's a nice, juicy, AU fic for you, throwing the Muggle and Magical worlds on their ears. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. J. K. Rowling does.

Harry Potter was currently breaking every known law of Magic.

He was using a laptop in Hogwarts Castle.

According to Hogwarts, A History, the immense amounts of magic in the air nullified all electrical devices. It was just as well, because Muggle and Magic should not be mixed. Even the Muggle Studies room didn't actually have any Muggle devices in it.

And yet, Harry had a Macbook Air on his lap and was typing away to glory. After several minutes, the corners of his mouth lifted. It was the closest thing to a smile he had come in several months. He leaned back against the wall, running his hand through his hair. Then he shook his head and began typing again.

Several hours later, he closed the laptop and cast a Disillusionment Charm on it. Then he placed his hand on where it should have been, and murmured something softly. He took the invisible object and lifted the seat of the bay window. Beneath was his secret cache. An iPod, a cell phone, his Invisibility Cloak, and an album lay nestled within. He carefully placed the laptop on top of them and lowered the seat back to its original location. He waved his wand over it once more and left the Common Room as the sun broke over the horizon.

"Harry, pass the butter, please."

Harry passed the condiment in question to his friend, Hermione Granger. Her hands were currently occupied tying her bushy brown hair into a decent ponytail. Beside her, a redhead was shoveling food into his mouth as if he hadn't seen food in weeks.

"Ronald Weasley! Where are your manners? Honestly, one would think you hadn't seen food in several weeks!"

"Magringby," Ron replied.

Harry laughed, "Leave him be, Hermione. You know Ron likes his food."

"That's true. Oh look! We've got double History of Magic this morning! Isn't that interesting?"

The Fifth Years at Gryffindor Table groaned. History of Magic was widely regarded as the most boring class ever taught at Hogwarts. Professor Binn's voice could lull even the most devoted Ravenclaw to sleep. Only Hermione was able to resist the soporific effect of the ghost's lectures. At least, that was what everyone thought.

In truth, there was one other student who remained awake through all of Professor Binn's lectures, though not always because he was paying attention. Harry had his laptop under the table during every lesson, covered by a simple Repulsion Charm, so no one would ever look to see what he was doing. He leaned back in his chair not only to appear relaxed and asleep, but also so that he could see the screen of his laptop.

Today was no different. Hermione's quill scratched furiously while he typed away under a Silencing Charm. In addition to breaking the laws of Magic, Harry was also breaking several laws of Biology, Chemistry, and Physics. His body acted as a signal tower, allowing him to access the Internet with better connection speed than found in most cities.

Currently, he was visiting the Grunnings website. Well, not so much visiting as hacking. It was the final stage of a three-year plan he had created that would lead to Vernon Dursley's downfall while leaving Petunia Dursley unscathed. For the horrors of his childhood, he still thought Petunia had it worse than he did, because she sat helplessly by while her husband beat her and the only remaining connection she had to her beloved sister.

When Harry was three years old, he decided to explore the house. When wandering into his Aunt and Uncle's room, he decided to climb up onto the chair and see what was on the big table. His Aunt and Uncle found him twenty minutes later and were not too pleased. The fifth time his Uncle's belt slashed across his back, he screamed "x equals twenty-five," scaring the living daylights out of them.

They looked back at the book. He was right. Even as Petunia's eyes were wide and fearful, Vernon's were cold and calculating. Dudley would never have to do his homework. Vernon might even be able to save some money when tax season rolled around. The possibilities were endless.

Now, Harry stared at the endless stream of characters filling his screen, carefully selecting what he though were the most important ones.

" – a three-page essay on the Saddagh Quarter of the 1738 Goblin Revolution due next lesson."

Slowly, the students roused themselves and filtered out of the room. Harry sandwiched his laptop between his books and slid it into his satchel. He turned and shook his best friend awake.

"mmwhazzat?"

"Ron, wake up! Hermione's in a bikini."

Ron shot up immediately, causing Harry to grin wickedly. Ron glared.

"Not cool, mate. Not cool!"

"Oh but it was hilarious!"

"Boys! What are you waiting for! Come along!"

One smirking, and the other glaring, the boys followed after their friend.