Recovery
It had been six months after their return from Yi Kai, but if there was one thing that Cana wished had been left behind, it was Bacchus' nightmares.
His night terrors were no longer induced by enchantment nor did they consist of his traumatic childhood. No, they had taken on a more gruesome nature: fresh trauma. When he finally confessed their contents to her one night after he woke screaming, she could not help but shudder as he revealed to her the fates so many had met and how much blood (even if unintentional) he himself had spilled.
For the most part, he slept soundly whenever he came to visit at first. Then there were those nights his terrors ran rampant and Cana had to stay awake the rest of the night beside him to calm him down and watch him as he slept. While he didn't sleepwalk or sleep-destroy any longer, he would often weep, whimpering in his sleep or even screaming until she had to pull him from the depths of his fears. Once he came to his senses, he would often be bitter as he buried himself in shame of "acting so weakly". Those were the nights she hated the most. Not for his suffering, but because he believed he had endure it alone. She hated the helplessness of it all. There wasn't much she could do to console him as he lay there helplessly tossing and turning beside her or with aftermath when he woke, and seeing him close himself off to her only worsened it. The morning after or at times immediately after he'd wake from them, he would leave in a terrible mood from his lack of sleep and would hardly say anything. Cana could feel her own grief beginning to chip away at her usually wondering if there was something she could have done or said differently.
The night he admitted what happened to Fei Shi and how he had the chance to avenge her and his family by killing the one man who had been responsible for it all, she was as torn about it as he was. Bacchus would often reason that he should have killed him and that letting him continue on ruling as emperor in his place was a mistake. She'd agreed with him, but it would have meant him taking another life and him never have coming back with her. And more nightmares.
Cana never brought it to his attention how she felt on the matter however. Leaving out that she would feel it was as if he would rather have stayed in Yi Kai than be in Fiore with her. She would not bring up how powerless she felt reliving the pains from their most recent past when she would wake to find him so vulnerable. How could she? When he was already going through enough. But then the nights when he would whisper Mei or Fei Shi's name in his sleep, it was nearly unbearable.
She thought she could handle it, handle him, but even she still had her limits and one thing she had learned in the past few months of dating the Palm Mage it was that he did not take kindly to the idea of being coddled or her excess sympathy. He would often brush her off or pick a fight with her whenever she tried too hard to pamper him, resulting in more than a few screaming matches, tired apologies, and drinking. In truth, as she looked back, it was probably the drinking that had worsened everything the most.
If there was one thing she had learned about her lover, it was that he was insanely jealous when he drank too much and unafraid of utterly humiliating her in public by beating any man that got too close to her senseless. The first time, she feared he would kill the poor idiot who had openly flirted with her one night she was at the bar. It had been after yet another fight (which he had started) and he came looking for her in the establishment only to see the unfortunate and unknowing man with an arm draped over her shoulder and a drink in either of their hands. There had been no harm done until he showed up and she figured the anger was from both his psychotic half-brother stealing away Mei and his nemesis abducting his wife. Cana thought it to be amusing at first, that he would be so protective of her, but after the second fight of him accusing her of seeing other men and more than a few brawls with men who he felt over stepped their boundaries, it died down.
But this last fight was not unlike the others. It had been the last she would tolerate. Though she would admit that she was not completely blameless, he had been the one to start it and push her to that edge. Cana grimaced as she recalled their squabble, wincing at the hurtful things they both had said.
She had come home drunk after spending hours in her favorite bar in town aside from the guild. It was late in the night, almost early morning, when she stepped into her home to see him on her couch, a deadly look clouding his face. She was not expecting him to come for another day and jumped drunkenly into his lap, excited to see him and kissed him. When he pushed her off instead of returning her affection, she immediately felt the dread dropping down into her stomach. He asked where she had been and why she was getting home so late. She could tell then that he had likely been drinking the whole time he was waiting and to make it worse he had shown up in yet another one of his foul moods. Irritated by coming to her home to an angry drunken boyfriend already accusing her of something, she snubbed him and went to her kitchen to get more to drink. He was not the only one who had been drinking more heavily in the most recent months as she would also turn to drinking to settle herself after their squabbles. He followed her, as she expected he would. He did that often when he was looking to pick a fight with her, knowing how much it irritated her to have him breathing down her neck.
"Thought you wouldn't be here until tomorrow." She had shrugged at him.
"I got back from the mission early. Thought I would come by to surprise you. Only," He watched her warily from where he leaned against the wall with his glazed red eyes. "You weren't here."
"Am I supposed to sit by idly in between your every visit, waiting by the window like some forlorn sailor's wife for you?" Her tone was rude as she poured her glass and nothing for him.
"Not at all. But surely you can do something else besides drink at the bar." His eyes flickered. It was her warning sign that he was searching for something to trap her with. She would not take the bait.
"Well I'm surprised you're here. Happy?" She was in no mood to deal with his shit attitude or the way he turned everything on her. Eyeing him, she drank deeply from her cup and leaned against the counter. He said nothing, brooding in his suspended frustration. "Besides," She added. "If you wanted to find me, it's not as if you wouldn't know where to look." Cana watched as he staggered over to the little table and sat in his usual place. Sour, she sat down at the table across from him, more out of habit that anything else. She truly had been surprised to see him and was looking forward to their time together. With how busy the both of them had been lately and the amount of tension rising between them, there weren't many opportunities they were able to spend more than a weekend together as they usually ended in bitter arguments or with one of them needing to race back home. Then there were the missions he took. She did not want to fault him for trying to readjust to being a mage and using it to slip back into his old lifestyle, but like the alcohol and her, it was just another crutch.
He also had a habit of not telling her he was leaving. Once he had been gone for a little over two weeks and had not bothered to tell her where or how long or that he was even leaving at all, leaving her to wake up alone in his house. When he finally came back, he had a fading scar on the right side of his back that looked strangely like nail marks a woman would leave during a passionate romp in the sheets as well as more than a few gifts for her that were questionably well thought-out. She had her suspicions of course, and they fought over his possible infidelity and that she didn't remember him telling her anything about the job. But he told her the scars were from the wild night they had before he left and that he told her several times he would be going, but she was probably too drunk to remember. She didn't believe him until she saw the scratch marks she left perfectly overlap the faint scars after their post-argument lovemaking that night. Cana didn't quite apologize for her accusations, but it put to rest any further thought that he would be unfaithful. And she did like the new pale yellow side bag and velveteen pouch for her cards he brought her. He had also finally agreed to keep in better contact if he was going to be gone extensively, giving them a rare and blissfully argument-free rest of the weekend. But as with many, it was a short-lived peace as one visit can vary drastically from the other. And this one was the last she ever wanted to spend with him.
They continued to sit there at the table, simply frowning at one another. She could not explain why she had said it, likely encouraged by the copious amount she had to drink already, but she did. Had she known what kind of skeletons would fall out of that closet, she would have kept the door to it and her mouth shut.
"Then again I shouldn't be surprised. You did take three weeks to even start looking for me back in Yi Kai after all." She tossed her head back and drank down the wine. His glare widened as he sat there staring at her in disbelief. It made her smile maliciously as she continued. "Though I suppose when you have a wife as lovely as Fei Shi to fuck, it's hard to stop fucking her for a day to venture far."
"It was." He said after a moment, the glint in his eyes telling her he had picked the bone to gnaw on. She could see his temper flaring in the way he sneered at her. He looked almost eager to delve into the argument with how his eyebrow cocked and the way he leaned forward on his arm onto the table. "I'd have brought her with me on the search, but I feared she would distract me from ever leaving my tent. We were quite active during our first weeks of marriage after all." It was not the reaction she had wanted out of him, so she plunged further into her insults.
"Then perhaps that is truly why you say her name in your sleep." Cana sipped at her refilled glass, keeping her eyes on his from over her cup. "I wonder, do you think of her when you're with me? Was your wife that good of a lover?"
"Hardly. But that was merely due to her lack of experience." He snorted, leaning back against the chair and draped an arm over the back of it. "Her sister Zi Yu however... Now she was a wild one. I have pictured her a few times. She was a much better fuck than either of you." His eyes watched her for a reaction, a sickening satisfaction in them, when she dropped her coy attitude and stared at him in shock.
"Zi Yu? Her sister? You slept with Zi Yu?" Her eyes narrowed as she tried to comprehend his words.
"It's not as if I coerced her into my bed." He threw her a smug look. "She came willingly enough. Though I wouldn't have minded if she came again. The three of us together might have had a truly wild night."
"I can't believe you. You slept with one twin, then married the other. Do you have some sort of sister fetish?" The feral way he grinned reminded her of a lifetime ago, of a bet he made with Elfman and reminded her why she had found him so repulsive in the beginning. She had known that they had been the Empress' trueborn daughters and that also like Bacchus, were fathered by the previous Emperor, but the notion of their relation had somehow escaped her until Bacchus told her directly
"Does it matter?" He snatched her drink from her and finished it. . He didn't seem to take a liking to her comment. "It is not uncommon in Yi Kai for half-siblings even full siblings to marry." He quirked his brow at her. "Besides, they're both dead anyhow. And I'm sure you think of other men while I'm inside you. That monster Laxus perchance? Or perhaps another? I'd heard a little rumor from a few of the guys at the bar that you even had an affair with a married man from your guild."
"Shut up." She hissed as she felt her cheeks fill with heat at his accusation and grit her teeth, nearly unable to stifle her rising temper. "Even if I did think of anyone else, I'd like to think I wouldn't imagine a relative like you do or a married man."
"Why not?" He stared at her, his deep eyes focused intently on her. She felt herself bristle at the look. "And why are you so upset about it?"
"Why wouldn't I be? You slept with your sisters and you accuse me of perversions!" Cana argued.
"I was married to one of them and if the other had not been so stubborn, she would have been my wife as well as is custom. Was I wrong to fuck my wife?" Bacchus' gaze was unwavering as he concentrated on her. His look was cool, making it clear he was challenging her to defy him as he tapped his fingers on the table. Cana seethed at his sarcastic attitude, grinding her teeth once more as she glared at him unable to answer his question. His reasoning was flawed, but there was no proving why. Who was she to combat a nation's culture? How could she refute that she had never slept with Macao or Laxus? It was another trap he had managed to ensnare her in and it only infuriated her more. There was a logical reason why she was angry, but she couldn't quite say what it was exactly that fueled her building rage at that moment. She was just, angry. He had been triumphant once again and he knew it. She couldn't believe she had allowed herself to be caught in yet another trap. She wanted to hit him. She wanted to cry. But mostly, she wanted more wine.
No longer in the mood to talk to him, Cana stood to walk over to the counter to get another drink, noticing he had done the same. Before he had done it, she knew it was coming. His hands found her hips as he held her from behind and leaned his face into her neck, growling as he groped at her and whispered erotic promises into her skin. Her skin crawled instead of seared with desire as she felt his lips move up the side of her neck. Disgusted with him, she peeled his hands off of her chest and turned to glare up at him.
This was how it always was. After he was finished driving her into a corner with his arguments and had pushed her to the edge of her wits, he'd suddenly change his tone and pull her back to him. It was how he'd lash out, how he was trying to heal and she was letting him do it; letting him slowly destroy her. This was their routine. A morbid dance on the fine line of abuse that only she seemed to see. The spins and turns would leave her as dizzy as the large sums of alcohol she consumed. She wanted to help him, be rescued by him, to rescue him from his torment, but it was now that she realized, she couldn't. Not only that, she didn't want to any more. This was the last time she was going to allow him to make a fool out of her.
"Don't touch me." She hissed trying to shove him. He grabbed her by her wrists instead, holding her in place.
"Wild toni-"
"I said don't touch me!" She yelled, trying to free herself. He never forced her into anything before. There were times she would admit she purposefully played hard to get with him, knowing how much it would tease him. But this was not one of those times and he knew it. "Get off me you-you…!" Cana struggled to find the words until they came tumbling out of her mouth. "You incestuous-freak!" She managed to push him away then, but only because he had taken a step back.
"What did you say?" He whispered dangerously.
"Get out of my house. I'm… I'm done." The words were weak when she said them, but they unlocked the heavy chains she felt weighing down her shoulders.
"Done?" His face hardened into frown as he straightened up.
"Go find some other woman to harass. I'm through with being subjected to your abuse."
"Abuse?" He roared while taking a step forward, making her feel meek as she tried to steady herself.
"What else did you think what you have been doing to me was?" Cana's voice shook, yet she managed to maintain her posture as she looked up at him. "Get out I said!"
"Is this what you really want?" His eyes flickered. He was trying to guilt her into changing her mind. He'd done it before. But this wasn't going to be like then. She was tired.
"It's not as if this is the first time you've run out on me in the middle of the night." She lowered her shoulders, trying to seem calm.
"And where would you have me go this time?" Bacchus tilted his head to the side arrogantly as his unreadable eyes stared down at her.
"I don't care. Go to Clover or Yi Kai, wherever. As long as it's not here, I don't care." Then, to add fuel to her flame, the wicked remark surfaced from a dark depth within her. "Who knows, maybe if you go back to that piss-poor country you gave up on you'll find another sister or cousin you can fuck and use to fulfill your disgusting incest fantasies with."
Like lightning he struck her, backhanding her across the face. It was something he had only done once before, ages ago during their fight in Yi Kai. She had some pretty nasty things to him then, too. But in that moment, just as then, she had nigh a care and let the rest of her built up anger pour out.
"Get out." She had hissed while her cheek burned. "I'm sick of trying to help you. I'm sick of pretending to care about you and your recovery and I'm sick of looking at you." She would always remember how much she had trembled. "I never want to see you again."
"I should have stayed in Yi Kai." He said, his eyes locked on hers, venom seeping through his words. "Instead of wasting my time on a worthless brat like you." He left right after that, slamming the door behind him. She waited a moment before she slipped down to the floor sobbing.
It had been nearing three weeks since that fight. After the first week of his absence, the freedom she thought she had gained spoiled quickly. After two, the guilt set in. She debated on visiting him and trying to make up, but her pride was still too hurt to allow it. Instead, as it neared the third week, with a lot of liquid courage, she boxed up the items he left behind at her house, including all of the gifts he brought her from his jobs, and got on the next train to Clover. She wasn't going to apologize, but the need to see him had become overwhelming. Even if it's just to throw this all in his face, he needs to think I've started to move on. The idea was simple enough. She only hoped that she would not buckle at the first sight of him and go crawling back to him instead.
When she had arrived at his guild, she could tell immediately that something was different about it. There was a strange smell to it and something tense about the air. Even the members were odd as they stared, absolutely stunned to see her. Most of them hardly made any eye contact with her and huddled down into their drinks as she entered. She singled out Rocker who had his eyes turned from her like the others and shoved the box into his arms. He was obviously hesitant to take it and like his fellow guildmates, seemed to purposefully avoid looking at her directly even as she stood in front of him. Though she inflicted the fear and maintained the confidence she had sought, it was Bacchus whom she had wanted to be there so that she might make a big scene in finalizing her break up with him. She wanted to humiliate him as he had done to her and make it known that she was the one to leave him. But he wasn't anywhere to be seen and according to Master Goldmine, who had been the only one to face her directly, he had been gone for a couple weeks on a job and had yet to come back.
It frustrated her and she bitterly told them all to pass along her message that it was over between her and Bacchus. The members mumbled as they averted their eyes still. Finished with trying any further, she left.
Brooding in her failed attempt to cause a ruckus, she headed straight back for the train station. She sat impatiently in a seat next to a window and looked out resentfully at all the happy-looking people coming off the train across from her. That means he must have left right after he came back. Cana had wondered if he had actually abandoned the guild and decided to go back to Yi Kai after all. Her thoughts went to Hargeon and possibly checking for him there, but she pushed it from her mind. He's probably long gone by now if that's where he was headed.
In truth, she had wanted to speak with him. Not to apologize for throwing him out, but to tell him that she had only wanted him to get better and that she hoped he would. I doubt he'd even want to talk with me from the start. There were tears threatening to spill down her face as she felt the mixed emotions tumble inside her chest. You idiot. Cana wiped a hot tear from where it began to slide out.
It was at that very moment that she saw the shine from his purple armor as he descended from the train car she had been absently glaring at. He looked tired and thin as he carried his small travel sack over one of his shoulders. She must have moved or given off some sort of signature because his head snapped up to look at her suddenly. He watched in disbelief as she looked down at him and quickly wiped the tears from her face. She could see his lips mouthing her name as he stepped forward, but the conductor called out his final call then and the locomotive blared and started with a jerk before slowly starting to move along the tracks. Bacchus pushed his way through the bustling and stagnant crowd after her. She could almost hear him calling to her through her window and over the sounds of the people and engine. But it was fleeting as the train picked up speed and he ran out of terminal to run on. It may not have been at the guild, but she felt the satisfaction of getting to see the desperate look on his face as she left.
There was still some of the gratification brightening her mood as she presently drank at the guild. It had only been a day since her visit to Bacchus' town and she was enjoying her victory.
At least, she was until the doors burst open and her name echoed throughout the hall. Somehow, she was not surprised he had come after her. Ignoring the blatant call for her, she went on with sitting on her table and simply rest her chin on the barrel in front of her.
It was not unknown to her comrades what had happened between the two of them, yet he was able to get closer than she thought he would. Natsu and Erza were the first to block his path, demanding he tell them what business he had at Fairy Tail. Everyone had stood from their seats then, watching him warily as he merely pointed at her and barked at them that he was there to see her and only her. Erza stepped forward standing directly in his path and told him it was best he turned around and left. Foolishly, he challenged her, asking if they would like to finally settle their score from years before. Natsu butted in then one of his fists already aflame, saying he would like to take up the offer instead. Even Elfman came forth, laughing in his face and saying he wouldn't mind squaring up and beating him a second time.
It was touching, but Cana couldn't stop the wave of guilt from crashing over her. This is not their fight. She concluded and decided it would be best if she spoke up.
"Leave him alone." She said to them, tilting the large wooden cask up to take a long drink. "This doesn't concern any of you." The other mages looked at her, apprehensive about her words and glanced back at the intruder. No one moved as she set her drink down and stood from the table. As she approached, Erza grabbed her arm. Silently, they communicated through their eyes and with a nod, the older woman released her, keeping a wary eye nonetheless.
"Let's go." She said as she walked past him toward the entrance. Cana could feel the tension left in the room behind her. "And don't any of you follow me." She warned them as she closed the doors that had been left open behind her.
As they walked down the street in the dimming sunlight in the direction of her house she couldn't help but feel nervous. He had yet to say anything, perhaps waiting for her to start. It was uncomfortable how he seemed to be so calm so suddenly. Cana questioned his intentions and his integrity, wondering if leaving the guild had been such a good idea after all.
"Why are you here? I told you to never come back." She finally managed to ask.
"Seems to be a reoccurring habit of mine to return to places I am banished from." He answered quickly. Cana huffed and continued forward.
"What did you want?" They had not stopped to look at one another, their gazes forward and a sizeable distance between them.
"Why were you in Clover yesterday?" The question was simple and to the point, yet it surprised her. Surely he would have gone back to his guild, but it was apparent that instead, he took the next train he could to follow her back to Magnolia.
"I was returning the junk you left at my house."
"Would it not have been easier to send them by mail?" He subtly stepped closer to her.
"Didn't want to risk any of it getting lost or damaged and have you come hounding me down. Though it seems you came to bother me anyway." Cana furthered the distance between them.
"Tch." He scoffed, taking the hint.
She stopped then, stepping up onto the porch of her house and opened the front door. He seemed shocked by the unspoken invitation to come inside.
"We were likely followed and I'd rather not make a scene in front of my house." Bacchus nodded and followed her inside, sitting in his typical seat at the table while she took hers.
"You didn't answer my question." She said, glancing him over, truly seeing him. He was exhausted. The dark bags under his eyes, the way his shoulders sagged beneath the weight of his armor, the taut way his skin hugged over his muscles in dehydration. It was almost reminiscent of how he had looked in Yi Kai after he had been named emperor.
"You put up such a good front." He crossed his arms casually.
"Is that all you came here to say?" She could feel her nerves getting to her as she struggled to stay cold toward him.
"No." He dropped his tone, the smugness draining from it.
"Then what did you want?"
"Why were you crying?" He asked, catching her off guard.
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't deny it. When I saw you on the train, you were crying." His intense eyes did not move as he questioned her. "Why?"
"They were tears of happiness." She lied. "I was so happy to finally be rid of you."
"Is that so?" His brow quirked. He knew already. He just wants to hear me say how heartbroken I am without him. The thought made her simmering fury bubble.
"Did you just come here to antagonize me?" Cana tightened her lips into a thin line as she stared him down. He did not so much as flinch from her gaze.
"I came to talk, actually." There was hardly any fight in his words, yet she could not help but feel as if he were still trying to trick her.
"Well-"
"But I see that you are not going to listen to what I have to say." His interruption only served to anger her more.
"Tch. I thought I was a worthless brat. Why would you want to waste your time on me anyhow?" She shot at him, remembering her rage from that bitter night.
"I see. It would seem I made a mistake in coming here then." His eyes had narrowed as he sighed and stood.
"You did. And I made a mistake of falling in love with a pathetic drunk like you." She glared. There was a shift in his posture and the mood of the room. While she still seethed, he gave her a curious and perplexed look.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Don't be an idiot. Does it surprise you that much? Why else did you think I put up with you and your damn attitude?"
"This must be the oddest love confession I'd ever heard."
"As if it matters now." Cana spat and turned her gaze from him. "I'm done trying to make this work."
"Look me in the eye and tell me that." He commanded, his eyes leering down at her, capturing her in their red depths. It took her a moment to get the courage, to restrain her emotions that were raging into hot tears, but she managed to face him. Their eyes met, his intense red ones flickering as his jaw clenched and his temples flexed. Cana bit her lip, unsure of how steady her voice would be as she spoke.
"I want you to leave." She finally whispered as the tears she tried to hide welled up and slipped down her cheeks.
His shoulders dropped slightly as he blinked. The breath he had been holding came out in a slow steady stream. He's giving up. He's really… She watched Bacchus dig into his pocket, producing a small lilac velveteen pouch. With a quick flick of his wrist, he tossed it at her.
"What's this?" Cana asked suspiciously. Her thoughts raced with what could possibly be inside of it as she watched him turn to pick up his travel sack and head toward her front door.
"Picked it up for you on my last job. Don't need it now."
"I don't want it."
"Then throw it away." Bacchus settled his bag on his shoulder. "Goodbye, Cana." He did not turn back around to speak to her, nor did he say anything else as he exited, closing the door behind him.
She waited, the pouch clutched in her hand, unsure of what to do with it. The urge to open it and satisfy her curiosity burned, yet she was afraid. She went to the kitchen and held it over the trash, but her hand would not open to drop it in. Frustrated, she squeezed it tighter and stared at it. After a moment of debating with herself, she opened her fist and touched it. Her fingers ran over the smooth cloth, feeling the odd shapes beneath it. Unable to manage her curiosity, she loosened the strings and turned it upside down to let the content fall into her palm.
It was a locket pendant the size of her thumb, shaped into a thick crescent moon with a refined crystal tinted with purple sitting delicately on the inside edge of it. The chain and the moon both were white gold and finely crafted. It was not an inexpensive gift. She turned it over, feeling the indents of an inscription engraved into the silver moon. "To a wild woman worth a thousand kingdoms" it said in a plain script. She grasped the gift in her hand, a mix of hate and elation twisting in her heart. Damn you, Bacchus.
Cana sobbed, clutching the necklace. Her chest hurt from the bursting emotions. She tried to throw the jewelry, but just as before her hand would not open. Suddenly possessed with an impulse, she got up and ran from her home and down the street after him. He had only gotten a few minutes of a head start, yet he had covered a good amount of distance quickly.
"Wait!" She called when she spied his hunched armored shoulders as he rounded a corner opposite of where she thought he would head. He didn't stop despite how clearly he would have recognized her voice. Irritated that he might be trying to lose her, she burst into a sprint and called once more.
"Bacchus, wait!" She turned the corner and slammed into him, nearly toppling the both of them over.
"Make up your mind, woman." He growled, half turning to glare at her as she caught up to him.
"Why aren't you taking the train?" Cana panted out her question. Bacchus only frowned at her as she rest her hands on her knees, bending over to catch her breath. "You're not really going to walk back are you?"
"What does it matter to you?"
"Why are you being so difficult?" She frowned as she stood up, regaining a more even breathing pace.
"I'm being difficult?" His voice rose as he turned to fully face her and took a step closer.
"You're just about the most difficult guy I've ever had the displeasure of knowing."
"Tch." He scoffed at her, crossing his arms. "And you're any less difficult?"
"Not at all." She watched him closely, noticing what she should have before.
"What do you want from me, Cana?" Bacchus asked her directly. There was no more dodging, no more dancing around it. He looked tired, the fierceness in his eyes faded from the way they had looked only weeks before. Something had changed about him. He was upset, but he wasn't in a rage. Cana stared at him, trying to figure out what could have calmed him to the point he was at. When he started to turn back around, she told him to wait once more. Though she wasn't entirely certain how to phrase it, she knew what she wanted to tell him now.
"I want you to get better." Her light-hearted façade faded some as she spoke. It was true. As was the next part on the tip of her tongue, but that was a little harder to get out. "Even… Even if it means you need to take some time for yourself or if I can't help you, I just want you to recover."
He was quiet and steady. She hesitated again, watching how little he shifted when she stated her observation. "I know you haven't been drinking either. How long has it been?"
"Almost two weeks." He said. It was sudden, and she was about to ask more questions when he put up a hand. Cana closed her mouth, pressing her lips into a hard, thin line and let him go on. "When I returned to Clover, I went on a job immediately. Needed to blow off some steam. It was supposed to be a quick one, but I got too drunk during the battle and got my ass kicked instead. I almost failed the mission. A lot of the villagers were hurt and one eventually died from their injuries."
"Bacchus…" Cana held back from reaching her hand out to him. She had not come to comfort him. This was not what she had planned.
"I was just getting back from it when I saw you there at the station." He went on to say. "I was to going to come here to you directly, but I had to check in with the guild first." His eyes shifted from her for a second as he rubbed at the back of his neck. "Cana, while I was out, I thought about things. A lot of things." Bacchus paused a moment, deciding his next words, choosing them carefully. "I know I haven't been easy to deal with. This recovery thing isn't exactly a walk in the park. For either of us." He added, looking at her and gauging her reaction. "But these nightmares and watching you suffer from watching me suffer… it makes it that much harder for me to get better. So when you kicked me out, I took the opportunity to change my scenery a bit." He looked off at something behind her. "I won't lie to you, it felt good getting away, even for a little bit. And I considered staying away longer and moving on from you. But," his eyes shifted back to looking at her. "The entire time, I couldn't get you far enough away from my thoughts. Then, when I came back to town and saw you... At first I thought I was hallucinating from the lack of alcohol. But then I realized that it really was you, and I just had to know."
"Know what?"
"Know why you were there. So I decided to come by your guild to find you and talk things out."
"You have an odd way of displaying that." She frowned.
"It was a rough ride over and I'd already walked all over town trying to find you. Can't blame a guy for being a little frustrated." A corner of his lips tugged into a faint smirk as he looked down at her.
"So where does this leave us then?" Cana turned her eyes from his, feeling uncomfortable by his expression.
"I did not come to argue. I truly had wanted to try talking with you. More importantly, I wanted to tell you that I didn't mean what I had said to you. Any of those… those cruel things. And for striking you. That most of all."
"You know I can't forgive you just like that." She crossed her arms and continued to look elsewhere, unsure of how to face him.
"I'm not asking you to." He sighed as he adjusted the sack on his shoulder again. "I'm simply telling you that if I could, I'd have done it differently."
"But you can't." She said quietly.
"I can't." He agreed in a soft tone.
"And so here we are."
"Here we are." He echoed, watching her.
"So, what do we do now?"
Bacchus twisted his mouth to the side as he contemplated his answer. He absently scratched at his head and took a deep breath before finally responding. "There's a lot that I'm still trying to sort out." He clenched his jaw again. "And that will take time. How long, I can't say. There are quite a few issues that need to be addressed and many of them are things I have to do on my own. I don't know what that means for us." He stopped to look at her, seeing the hint of rejection on her face. "I know I can't expect things to just go back to normal, or that they'll change, but I do know that I lov-"
"Shut up." She interrupted him this time, grabbing both sides of his face within her hands and pressing her lips to his. He was ridged at first, caught by surprise from her sudden and forceful kiss, but he did not pull away. Slowly, he placed his hands on the upper parts of her arms and gently pulled her back. His expression was blank, making her worry if she had done the wrong thing. Her mind raced with rejection until he leaned his head down to rest his forehead on hers and sighed, relieving her of her temporary anxiety. They stood that way for a moment, slightly rocking before he pressed a kiss to her forehead and turned her chin up to look at him.
"Cana." His voice was soft as he whispered to her. "Are you sure you want this? With me? I don't want you to-"
"Idiot." She let a slow smile slide onto her lips. "I know that. Plus, I came running after you didn't I?"
"Yeah." He chuckled, returning her expression. "Right after you looked me in the eye and told me to leave."
"You should have known that meant that I wanted you to stay."
"Tch. As if I was supposed to know that. You're not exactly an easy one to figure out." He gazed down at her, their eyes locking.
"You love it." Cana shot him a smug grin, and got one back.
"I do." His hand under her chin opened to cup the side of her face while the other held tight to her arm still, drawing her closer and pulling her to him to rest his chin on the top of her head. "You're a major pain in my side, but you're worth it."
"And a kingdom." She taunted, getting a rude snort in response.
"A thousand kingdoms." Bacchus corrected as his lips curled into a tired half-smile before he kissed her forehead again.