A/n so here I am again at stupid o'clock. I've got a 10 o'clock lecture and I can't sleep. Damn you insomnia so here it is another classic doctor who one shot. This is based of a comment by Fraser Hines about his sporran and I just thought it was a funny idea.
Jamie was wandering through the Tardis rather aimlessly. He whistled to himself as he did so recounting a tune his father had taught him. He missed home sometimes. He didn't miss it as much as he thought he would. That was probably because he was either having so much fun with the doctor or fighting for his life. But the few moments on his life that were quiet, he started to reminisce.
He wondered what everyone would make of him if they did manage to get back. He didn't think he could go back to his old life. He wasn't the same man. He couldn't go back to his old life, rebelling against the English, playing his bagpipes, trying to get a kiss of one of the tavern girls. It did seem refreshingly simple after everything he'd been through but how could he live a life that was so mundane. How could he lose his best friend, not to mention Victoria? There was a part of him that hoped he could convince Victoria to come home with him and then they could marry at St Mary's church, have a few bairns. He decided to indulge in his fantasy for a bit.
The he tripped over, the doctor had left one of the doors open and he's walked straight into it and tripped on a pair of enormous shoes as he looked around him. He realised it was one of the doctor's wardrobe which of course was as big as a castle. Hasn't the doctor ever heard of a clear out. He decided to look through it. It was amazing what you could find in here and the Doctor had given him unwritten and unspoken permission to take whatever he wanted. Well to be honest he hadn't said anything on the issue so Jamie assumed it was ok.
He glanced at a pair of gloves. That seemed to be made out rubber but had metal all over them and a dial he didn't understand. He then looked at a giant pile of socks that was taller than him. He decided to go through the sock pile as he needed to find a pair of socks that didn't have holes in them.
"Ah Jamie, there you are" the Doctor said cheerfully
"Doctor, I'm looking for a new pair of socks, are there any pairs" Jamie asked still looking through the socks and barely acknowledging the doctor's presence.
"Don't be silly Jamie, these are the odd socks and as you can see they are clearly signposted" the Doctor said knowingly.
Jamie was about to protest and then he rebreed that this was the Doctor so he looked around him first and sure enough on the floor was a broken sign which had rust all over it which said odd socks.
"All right, where are the paired socks?" Jamie said annoyed at wasting his time
"As you can see they're over there" the doctor pointed. Jamie followed his gaze and the was a slightly dilapidate sign saying paired socks but it was pointing to nothing and then he looked down and then he saw one pair of socks rolled up on the floor. Jamie examined them and decided they'd do.
"Funny thing, socks I have a theory that they're dimensionally transcendent and spend most of their time dimension hopping through the universe. " The Doctor hypothesised.
"Aye that could be right or you just can't be bothered to sort your socks." Jamie said cheekily.
"How dare you accuse me of being disorganised?" The doctor said slighted. They looked at each other.
"I suppose I may have let things get a little messy but I've been frightfully busy and I do hate cleaning" the Doctor said petulantly. Jamie pretended to look like his father looked at him but they both broke into goofy smiles.
"Well I've got some socks now" Jamie said happily while passing them from one hand to the other "Are we landing soon?"
"I expect so." The Doctor said candidly.
"So you don't have a clue," Jamie said knowingly.
The Doctor twisted his face for a few seconds and then said "Yes but I can make an educated guess at somewhere between eternity and soon."
"Well that's good to know" Jamie said candidly.
"Oh by the way I've got something for you" the doctor said and started rummaging in his pockets.
"Aye, what is it?" Jamie asked suspiciously.
"I found something you might like" the Doctor said excitedly and with a flourish he pulled out a sporran from his pocket.
"Thanks Doctor" Jamie said happily and quickly took it and tried it on for size.
"I'm glad you like it"
"What's the point though I ain't got anything to put in it." Jamie said grumpily
"Don't be like, that" the Doctor said patting his back "I'm sure you'll find something to put in it"
"I guess so" Jamie said half heatedly but he suddenly grasped at a piece of inspiration "I've just thought of something."
The doctor looked worried "Look Jamie I don't think this is a good idea."
"You haven't heard what I'm going to say" Jamie said annoyed.
"I just have a feeling that it's not a good idea" the doctor said panicking.
"No seriously it is a good idea, why don't you pay me?"
"Why would I do that?" the Doctor asked inquisitively.
"Well, I've been with you a couple years now and I think after all the times I've saved your skin. I should get something."
"Well that's not entirely unreasonable but as you know I don't have money." The Doctor said matter of factly. Jamie knew that the Doctor didn't think it was worth keeping money but it was worth keeping buttons and anything else he happened to fancy.
"But there's got to be something you can give me." Jamie asked
"Well, you can have whatever you want from the Tardis." The Doctor offered.
"Aye but most of its junk and I get most of what I'm wearing by wandering round this wardrobe" Jamie said blankly.
"I happen to like junk" The Doctor said imperiously.
"Ok, but is there anything specifically you can give me"
"Well, I've got a better idea" the doctor said happily "If you ask for something and I'll get it."
"Anything" Jamie asked.
"Yes anything, I value the contribution, you have made to my life and I'll seek you to compensate you in any way you wish."
Jamie thought for a while "How about another pair of socks?"
The Doctor grimaced "That might be complicated, socks are a tricky business, I know how about this," he produced a silver bracelet from his pocket.
"I don't think it would suit me" Jamie said matter of factly.
The Doctor looked at his young companion and sighed but decided to proceed "But there may be a young lady on board who it might suit."
"You're right, Doctor, that would suit Victoria" Jamie said comprehension dawning on his face and he happily went off with the bracelet anxious to show Victoria. Before he left he turned back "Do you know if there are any other gifts in here." Jamie asked inquisitively.
"There are so many gifts in this universe, I don't think you'll ever run out of things to show her, you just need some imagination which is why I'm here."
Jamie grimaced but smiled and happily went of whistling. The Doctor smiled and then he remembered that the reason he'd come on her was to find some socks as all of his had holes. The doctor looked at the odd pile, grabbed a handful and walked out.
A/N So yes this is what insomnia does to you. I hope you like it. It's so much fun writing Jamie even though I never feel I convey his accent enough I just don't know enough about Scottish accents to produce it accurately. Also Jamie Victoria hints because they're so cute. I've got a couple of ideas for an AU fic so watch out for that.