No, No, Noah!

Lt. Olivia Benson was asked by Chief Dodds to attend a week long course at the FBI Academy in Virginia. She suggested to Barba that he and 5 year old Noah might want to join her on Friday to spend the weekend and enjoy the sights of D.C. before returning to New York late on Sunday. Lucia Barba, Rafael's mother, was happy to watch their 2 year old twins.

Friday morning Barba dressed Noah in comfortable clothes and chose jeans, a plaid shirt, and a corduroy jacket for himself. He packed 2 small suitcases and carried them out of the townhouse when he saw the taxi pull up to the curb. They arrived at Penn Station and boarded the Acela. Barba made sure to bring some picture books and games to keep Noah occupied on the 3-4 hour trip. He also made sure to include plenty of snacks, both healthy and otherwise for himself and Noah. He planned to purchase coffee and juice on the train.

Barba checked into the moderately-priced hotel that Olivia had booked. Noah was excited by all the new sights, especially those from their 8th floor window. Noah turned towards Barba, smiled and yawned. Barba took off Noah's jeans and shirt, closed the drapes and tucked Noah into one of the queen-sized beds for a nap. Noah did not put up a fight as usual and state that 'big boys don't take naps.' He was exhausted.

"I'm going to take a shower, buddy," Barba said to Noah. "When you wake up we'll go meet Mommy and get something to eat."

Barba enjoyed a long hot shower to wipe away the travel dirt and soothe his tired muscles. He wrapped a towel around his waist and gathered his hair products on the counter. When he heard the door open he abruptly swung around to see Noah standing there. His towel slipped and fell to the floor. Noah stared open-mouthed at the naked Barba.

"Papi, you have a big "willie," Noah stated. "Will mine get that big?"

Rafael smirked and quickly replaced the towel. He knelt down next to Noah.

"Your mom and I want you to use the word 'penis,' not willie, " he said matter of factly. " 'Willie' is not a nice word. And yes, your penis will get bigger as you grow up. OK?" He hoped that was the end of the discussion for now.

"OK," Noah said and glanced down. "But what do I say when the kids at kindergarden say "willie?"

"Just ignore them," said Barba rolling his eyes and trying not to smile. He knew he'd have to relate the incident to Olivia when they were alone.

Dodds had arranged for Olivia and Rafael to have a brief meeting with the vice president who had introduced the Violence Against Women Act in 1990 because of their work with rape and domestic violence victims.

After showing IDs Olivia and Rafael were whisked through the security area each holding one of Noah's hands. They waited in a West Wing anteroom and after a few minutes they were shown into the vice president's office. His aide introduced them and left. The vice president knelt down.

"And who is this handsome big boy?" the vice president asked Noah.

"I'm Noah," he answered, then blurted out "Do you have a big penis like my papi?"

Horrified, Olivia sucked in her breath and stared at Barba.

Barba closed his eyes thinking 'how am I going to explain this?'

The vice president stood up and laughed. "Kids say the darndest things," he said. "You don't want to know some of the things my kids have said. Don't worry. What happens in the White House stays in the White House."

Olivia whispered, "Thank you."

Rafael and Olivia finally took their leave. When Noah ran ahead of them down the hall Olivia turned to Barba. "You're gonna have to explain this to me later."

Barba nodded. He put his hand around Olivia's shoulder and whispered, "Do we have to go to the National Zoo tomorrow?"

Olivia looked puzzled. "We promised Noah. Why?"

"I'm just afraid of what will happen when he sees the hyenas." **

"Ah," Olivia said knowingly.

**The female hyena has a pseudo-penis that is larger than the male's penis.