BREAKING THE HABIT
This song fic is about Kai self harming himself... im sorry to all you Kai
fans I was kind of upset when I wrote this so please don't moan away at me.
I promise I will be nicer to him but this song sounded so appropriate for
Kai so I used it.
This is a one shot fanfic unless you want me to continue this as a story
with a song fic first chapter.
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
Im picking me apart again
They wouldn't understand.... All these memories they come flooding back.... I
need to stop this now....
You all assume
Im safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
I sigh as I take out the dagger...... should I do this? I have done this to
many times before and it could cause suspicion...........
I don't want to be the one
Battles always choose
Cause inside I realise
That im the one confused
I close my eyes tight as I remember what Tyson said to me "Kai I hate you I
wouldn't care if you killed yourself now!!!"
They always blame me....... "this is all your fault Kai!"
I don't know whats worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
Im always saying the wrong things..... I look down at my wrist at the healed
wound.............
I don't know how I got this way
I know its not alright
So im
Breaking the habit
Breaking the habit
Tonight
I sigh as I look into the mirror in front of me and see my emotionless face
staring back...... I have to stop this right now!
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again
I clutch at the dagger and run to the door locking it so that nobody would
walk in on me whilst I do this....... I put my hand to my chest and feel my
heart beat hard against my rib cage........... I had no options left again.....
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
Cause inside a realise
That im the one confused
This is al my fault I shouldn't let them argue about me! Im co confused........
I need to sort out my head and this seems the only way.........
I don't know what im fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I remember my last words to them "I don't care for you im only here as your
leader NOT as you friend!" I don't know why I said it I didn't mean it........
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So im
Breaking the habit
Breaking the habit
Tonight
I have gotten so bad ever since I joined them.....i just don't know how....... Im
never going to heal after this.... I have got to break this habit....TONIGHT
I'll paint it on the walls
Cause im the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
drove me to........ im never going to fight with them again.... This is going to
end......
I don't know whats worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I know have something to show them..... to show them im not perfect, that im
an ordinary person.......
"Kai! What are you doing in there?!?" I hear Rei's voice and I freeze and
look at how close the dagger is to my wrist I draw the dagger through the
healed wound and gasp quietly at the sharp pain......
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
I draw the dagger harder through the wound and watch the blood flow
gently..... I feel woozy and fall to my knees the blood soaking into the
carpet..... Rei gets the door open just as I faint......
So im
Breaking the habit
Breaking the habit
Breaking the habit
Tonight
Im so sorry to the Kai fans like I have said before.... I hope you liked it
and if you want me to make this into a story just review.