Once in merry England fair,
(or so begins my air)
There lived one Uther Pendragon
Of a King, he was a paragon.
He only had a single vice:
He'd poison other people's rice.
That's how he became the tops -
They all thought he'd spoiled the hops.
Let's not dwell on this horrid affair.
What he really wanted was an heir.
But with women he had not tarried.
He only wanted one, and she was married.
Her name was Igraine, and she was fair
Although her head was full of air.
Her husband was an important fellow.
An Earl, no less, and not very mellow.
Cornwall is under his rule.
He's as stubborn as a mule.
Uther lays siege to his castle
It really is an almighty tussle.
To Tintagel Igraine repairs
And then begins to put on airs.
Luckily Uther had his pet mage:
the wizard Merlin, a great sage.
Merlin was the epitome of power.
Even his face was extremely dour.
Merlin said, "I'll get you through,
but what comes of this to me is due."
One night when Cornwall was out fighting
he found his way through some poor lighting.
Disguised to look just like the Earl
He made his way towards his girl.
So Uther arrives to sate his lust.
(The details you'll fill in, we trust).
In the fighting the Earl was killed.
Through his heart a sword was drilled.
And so the dreadful deed was done.
What of Igraine? She had a son.
And seeing that the Earl was dead,
Uther and Igraine decided to wed.
Igraine already had a daughter
(It wasn't the Earl's, it was his porter's).
And soon after the babe was born,
Merlin came, amidst a storm,
To take away the little lad
From the embrace of his horrified dad.
Uther said: "Please, not my son!
"I'll give you anything or anyone!"
Merlin's eyebrows contracted with displeasure.
"Okay, Uther, you've had your leisure.
"Remember, Uther, you've made a vow,
"Give me Arthur, do it now!"
And so Uther had to desist,
Though every fibre said, "Resist!"
Igraine threw herself at the feet of the old man
"We'll give you anything! Gold, jewels, land!"
Merlin looked upon her as he prised her fingers away.
I think you know what he is going to say:
"I only want Arthur your son.
"Get out of my way, everyone!"
The girl Morgan, with eyes so round,
Looked at the scene, but made no sound.
She stored up Merlin's face for future reference.
As he passed by, he made a gesture of deference.
"Look after this one, Uther," he said.
"And try to think that Arthur is dead!"
The old man goes off into the night,
Convinced that he is in the right.
For Merlin has dreams of things to be.
It is the future that he can see.
He knows that Arthur will be great,
And who will be his chosen mate.
He makes for a home of no great fame,
Owned by Sir Ector, by name.
He asks that for the babe he care,
And raise him up with Kay, his heir.
The good man accepts readily,
And welcomes Arthur to his family.
(or so begins my air)
There lived one Uther Pendragon
Of a King, he was a paragon.
He only had a single vice:
He'd poison other people's rice.
That's how he became the tops -
They all thought he'd spoiled the hops.
Let's not dwell on this horrid affair.
What he really wanted was an heir.
But with women he had not tarried.
He only wanted one, and she was married.
Her name was Igraine, and she was fair
Although her head was full of air.
Her husband was an important fellow.
An Earl, no less, and not very mellow.
Cornwall is under his rule.
He's as stubborn as a mule.
Uther lays siege to his castle
It really is an almighty tussle.
To Tintagel Igraine repairs
And then begins to put on airs.
Luckily Uther had his pet mage:
the wizard Merlin, a great sage.
Merlin was the epitome of power.
Even his face was extremely dour.
Merlin said, "I'll get you through,
but what comes of this to me is due."
One night when Cornwall was out fighting
he found his way through some poor lighting.
Disguised to look just like the Earl
He made his way towards his girl.
So Uther arrives to sate his lust.
(The details you'll fill in, we trust).
In the fighting the Earl was killed.
Through his heart a sword was drilled.
And so the dreadful deed was done.
What of Igraine? She had a son.
And seeing that the Earl was dead,
Uther and Igraine decided to wed.
Igraine already had a daughter
(It wasn't the Earl's, it was his porter's).
And soon after the babe was born,
Merlin came, amidst a storm,
To take away the little lad
From the embrace of his horrified dad.
Uther said: "Please, not my son!
"I'll give you anything or anyone!"
Merlin's eyebrows contracted with displeasure.
"Okay, Uther, you've had your leisure.
"Remember, Uther, you've made a vow,
"Give me Arthur, do it now!"
And so Uther had to desist,
Though every fibre said, "Resist!"
Igraine threw herself at the feet of the old man
"We'll give you anything! Gold, jewels, land!"
Merlin looked upon her as he prised her fingers away.
I think you know what he is going to say:
"I only want Arthur your son.
"Get out of my way, everyone!"
The girl Morgan, with eyes so round,
Looked at the scene, but made no sound.
She stored up Merlin's face for future reference.
As he passed by, he made a gesture of deference.
"Look after this one, Uther," he said.
"And try to think that Arthur is dead!"
The old man goes off into the night,
Convinced that he is in the right.
For Merlin has dreams of things to be.
It is the future that he can see.
He knows that Arthur will be great,
And who will be his chosen mate.
He makes for a home of no great fame,
Owned by Sir Ector, by name.
He asks that for the babe he care,
And raise him up with Kay, his heir.
The good man accepts readily,
And welcomes Arthur to his family.