Harry Potter dashed into his Potions classroom ten minutes late. "10 points from Gryffindor," Snape said boredly. "But I have a valid excuse!" Harry protested. "For being late and not doing my homework!" "And that is?" Snape asked icily. "Well, Dumbledore's lemon drops started harassing McGonagall and so I tried to help, because I'm just polite that way." Snape scoffed.
"And then they chewed up my homework, and so I had to help Dumbledore kill them, since they hurt my essay, which took me a long time to write! Then, he was sad that his lemon drops were gone, so I went to Hogsmeade and bought him some carrot sticks. He choked on one, so I had to give him the heimlich maneuver, and so that's why I was late to class."
"Potter!" Snape spat. "That is the stupidest excuse I've ever heard! 50 points from Gryffindor!" "100 points from Slytherin." "Excuse me?!" "I'm a prefect!" "Potter, you are in fourth year, not fifth." "I know that Professor!"
"Potter, you are infecting us with your stupidity." "Oh, you've been stupid all along! That's why no one wants to marry you. And I found some great shampoo in Hogsmeade. It's made for…" Here, Harry pulled a bottle out of his bag. "Greasy, unmanageable hair that repulses even the bravest of wizards and witches," he read.
Snape turned an ugly brick color. "My hair is not that bad!" Just then, McGonagall and Dumbledore walked in. "Severus! Your hair! Gahh! My eyes! THEY BURN!" Dumbledore screamed, and the two professors fainted. Harry smiled smugly. "See?"
Snape snatched the shampoo out of Harry's hands. Just then, the bell rang. "Oh, Professor, you've wasted our lesson! We could've learned how to brew a useful potion! We may die because you didn't teach us this lesson! Detention with me, 9:00 tonight!" Harry screamed dramatically at Snape, who stood there, dumbfounded.
And Harry walked out with the rest of his classmates before Snape could take away points.