When I saw you at the grocery store, you were sharing a shopping cart with her. And I couldn't turn and run away, I didn't know what to say.
You introduced us for the first time. "Hello, I'm Jolie." She said in that accent of hers. Her name is Jolie, which is French for pretty. Huh, pretty name, ugly girl. Stupid girl, I hate her. I don't even know her and I hate her. I hate her! I just do! But I put on a fake smile and had to shake her hand. "I'm Arthur." She pulled me into an attack hug. Eww.
And I had to look her in the eye, only because you questioned why I wouldn't. Dammit Francis. But you could not imagine my surprise, because I thought you liked anything BEAUTIFUL. Can't you see? You're leaving me for an ugly girl.
Does she talk about politics? French politics even? I bet she does. I bet she talks about politics and all that stuff that used to make me sick. Does she smoke cigars and stay up late? Because I bet she does. Oh she's so great, right?
Does she tell you what you want to hear? I would've if you weren't such a frog face. And I bet that she could grow a beard. Yeah, she'd grow a beard longer than yours. But you know, I feel better thinking you're a girl. If you made me chose between me dating you after you get a sex change or if you were to date her, I'd date you as a girl. Francis, it's not fair! I can't compare to an ugly girl! To a butt ugly girl!
Hahah, the jokes on me. I feel jealous and I feel mean. She's so nice that it makes up for her face… She's really nice, actually… But still! There's no way, do you have to keep your eyes closed? Do you have to keep the lights down low? I know! I bet you wish you had a blind fold! Or maybe you do!
I also remember confronting you about it, and she was there. It was funny, her reaction. I said like so, "Can't you see you're leaving me for an ugly girl?" I pointed to her when I said that. She looked kinda sad. I moved closer to him… "For an ugly girl?" She repeated, sadly.
"She's an ugly girl?" Francis asked me, smirking and moving closer. I only grinned and said, "A real ugly girl..." She's an ugly girl, though! Don't be mad! "An ugly girl, indeed. My eyes have been opened, finally. You're much prettier. She cried and ran off, "He said 'She's an ugly girl...!' about me!"
What an ugly girl. I told myself. Really, she's ugly. I never explained her looks. Her face had 30000 pimples, she looked like a pizza. Her tits were saggy, old lady saggy, her hair was oily, her eyes were dull, she was.. Did France kiss her? Because if he did, I can NEVER kiss him until he uses some toothpaste and mouthwash.