My Only Love
All Albert could hear was sniffling and whimpers coming from the other side of the loft. He knew Laura was trying to hold back tears, not wanting to alert any other family members possibly in the household. But the sadness she was feeling was too much for the young girl to bare.
"Laura." Albert stood up and quietly called over to his sister. "Are you alright?"
Laura could not find the will to respond. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. All she knew was sadness.
Albert slowly made his way over to his sister's side of the loft. He saw her sprawled out on the bed, face rocking against the pillow and tears staining the fabric. She looked awfully miserable.
"Laura...it's gonna to be alright." The young boy sat at the foot of her bed.
"No, it's not." Laura managed to say in a muffled voice, coving her face even more. "Almanzo is engaged...to somebody else."
The tears began to fall even more with her speaking that phrase aloud. It was all true.
Laura saw Almanzo earlier that day with another woman, someone she had never seen before. When she walked up to Almanzo to say a friendly hello, he introduced that other girl as an old friend from back east. Unfortunately, the girl corrected him. She was more than a friend. She was an old flame from back east, a flame that had reignited Almanzo's heart after a chance encounter. Laura wanted to give the older woman a dirty look, but she suddenly had noticed the ring on her finger. Almanzo was all too happy to chime in, explaining that the two of them were engaged and were planning to get married in a few short months.
Laura's heart dropped and her mind fuzzed up when she comprehended the news. How? This girl, that Almanzo had never even mentioned before, waltzes into Walnut Grove and suddenly they are set to marry! Laura did not want to believe it. She had been working so hard for Almanzo to see her as a woman, as someone he could spend the rest of his life with. But now, all of her dreaming and waiting had gone to waste.
Almanzo was engaged to somebody else and poor Laura was devastated.
Albert had no idea how to comfort his sister. Nothing he could say or do would change the fact that Laura was losing the love of her life. All he could really do was be an ear for her to vent to and a shoulder for her to lean on. But she was too busy crying her eyes out to feel anything else besides sorrow. "Do you want me to get ma, so you two can talk?"
"No." Laura turned down the suggestion. "I just want to be alone right now."
Albert nodded his head. "Okay. If that's what you want, I'll leave you be. But, if there's anything I can do or if you just want to talk or have company-"
"There's nothing you can do, Albert." Laura cut him off. "It's over."
The boy swallowed hard and turned to leave the loft. As he made his way down the ladder, his ma was returning from her shift at Nellie's restaurant, completely unaware of what was happening with her daughter. "Hello, Albert. How was school today?"
"Ma." Albert stood in front of his adopted mother. "Laura is up in the loft...crying."
"What's wrong?" Caroline walked over to the ladder and glanced up. "What on earth happened?"
Albert sighed. "Apparently, Almanzo Wilder is engaged to some girl from the east he reconnected with."
Caroline's jaw slightly dropped. She knew all about her daughter's love for Almanzo Wilder. The two had spent many a night discussing her feelings towards the man and how she was working to be with him. Laura's heart was dead set on him. Caroline felt so sorry for her second daughter. She knew Laura must be suffering the worst of heartbreaks.
"I'll go talk to her." Caroline reached up to scale the ladder.
"She said she wanted to be alone." Albert quickly stopped his ma from going up to see Laura.
Caroline paused. Laura would need some time to heal from this. "Alright. I'll start supper then. Did she really seem that upset?"
Albert nodded his head in reply. Truthfully, he had never seen Laura that upset and distraught before. It made him very worried for her.
Caroline sighed and stepped away from the ladder. She would give her daughter space, but knew Laura would need support to overcome this very personal tragedy. "Well, I'm sure she won't be feeling like her normal self for quite awhile."
"Beth! Beth!"
Laura turned her head towards the sound of someone calling to her. There he was. Almanzo Wilder running over the hills to catch up with her. "Manly!"
"Oh, Beth!" Almanzo reach out and took Laura's hands into his own. "I thought I almost lost you."
The young woman smiled. "You could never lose me, Manly. I love you. And I always will."
"Beth. You're my only love."
"And you're mine."
Almanzo knelt down on one knee in front of Laura, the grin on his face growing wide with excitement. "Beth, I've been meaning to ask you something."
Laura's heart was racing out of her chest. It was finally happening. "Yes?"
"You see, I've been wanting to get married and settle down now for ages."
"Yes?"
"Would it be alright if I married this other girl?"
Laura shot up out of bed, covered in sweat and dripping with anxiety. It was only a dream or was it a nightmare. This certainly was not the first time she had dreamt about Almanzo. But under the circumstances, it was very unwelcomed. Laura glanced around the loft. It was dark inside the little house. She must have slept through dinner and, judging by the absence of any noise or lit oil lamps, everyone else was most likely asleep.
The young girl got out of bed, quietly tiptoed down from the loft and hurried outside for some much needed fresh air. She found herself a seat on the stump her pa chopped firewood on. Then, the realization of what was happening slowly and painfully hit her.
"Why did I have to dream about him?" Laura whispered to herself. "He's engaged...to somebody...to somebody else. I barely even got a chance."
Tears began to roll down Laura's checks. The crisp night air caused her to shiver, but that was of no concern to her. Her mind was more focused on the man she loved and lost.
"I don't want it to be true." She continued in a low, depressed voice. "Why did this have to happen? He looked so happy with her. He was so excited when he told me the two of them were engaged. I don't understand. Where did she come from? How did she manage to-"
"Laura."
She quickly glanced up, seeing her mother standing in the doorway.
"Laura. Come back inside, sweetie." Caroline held out her hand to lead her daughter out of the cold.
The girl wiped her tears from her eyes and face with her sleeve. "Did you know...that Almanzo is engaged to another woman?"
Caroline realized that right now, Laura would need her motherly comfort and support. "Yes. Albert told me." She went over to Laura and sat beside her on the stump. Caroline wrapped her arms around her daughter. "I'm sure it hurts. You cared so much for him. You loved him. Almanzo was your first real love. A love who you never really got a chance to be with."
Laura sobbed into her mother's nightgown at the sad truth she was living in.
"But please, Laura, don't fret over it for too long. You're young. You have the rest of your life ahead of you, with new experiences and new loves just waiting for you to find them."
"But, I already found my love...my only love." Laura could not contain her sadness like she had tried to do before. "But now, he's gone!"
Caroline rocked her wailing daughter, wishing to calm her and ease her emotional pain. A heartbreak like this for a young girl was overwhelming and earth-shattering. Caroline knew that all too well. "Oh, Laura."
The two stayed outside for awhile, allowing Laura to release her emotions before the dead of night creeped in further. After the girl began to calm down, Caroline walked her back inside and helped back into bed. Laura did not dream the rest of that night, for it would be too painful if she did.
A few days had pasted from that awful night. Laura had not seen Almanzo since the encounter in town and truthfully did not want to see him. It would hurt too much to see him with things being the way they were. Her, a broken soul that was losing the love of her life and him, a happily engaged young man with a brand new future in front of him. Still, that did not stop her from missing him dear. She wondered if he realized how much she loved him.
Probably not.
"Laura, did you wanna head into town with your ma and I?" Charles asked his daughter while she was washing the dishes from the morning's breakfast.
"No thanks, pa." She answered politely, yet still being rather distant. Everyone had noticed Laura's off-put demeanor, but did not want to upset her further by speaking of the truth.
"Are you feeling alright today, half-pint?" Charles asked Laura, even though he knew exactly what was going on.
Laura nodded her head unconvincingly. "Just tired, I guess."
Charles did not want to make Laura upset anymore than she already was, so he left the conversation at that.
After the rest of the Ingalls family had ventured off into town, Laura found herself alone in the little house. If it was like before, she would have taken this free time to visit the Wilder farm to see Almanzo. But this was not like before. She did not want to see him now. Frankly, she did not want to see anybody. She just was not in the mood for socializing or thinking too much about her situation.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door to rip her out of her trace. Laura went over and opened it, only to be taken back by the person now standing in front of her. "Hi, Beth."
"Almanzo." She did not know what to say. She was utterly lost for words. "What brings you by?"
"I was looking for your pa." The young man said with an unknowing smile. "The back wheel on my wagon broke and I was wondering if he could help me fix it."
"Well." Laura tried to muster up some confidence to speak to him. "He just went into town. He might be back in two, maybe three hours."
"Alright then. I needed to go into town anyways to meet up with my fiance, so maybe I'll catch up with him there. But just in case, could you tell him I was asking for him?"
"Of course."
"Thanks, Beth. I'll see you around."
Laura watched as Almanzo walk away. She studied his posture and his gait. She watched as he took quick steps up the hill, looking so free and on top of the world. She replayed the recently ceased conversation in her mind, holding onto the moments when he smiled and called her Beth. She waited until he was over the hill, then waited just long enough for him to be a good distance away from the little house.
Laura stepped outside and yelled. "Almanzo Wilder, you are my only love!"