To You,

I can't help but reflect on that pivotal day: the day we met.

I never could pinpoint why time seemed to move as though fighting its way through some unseen force.

Until now.

For a long time, that day was my everything. It was my best day, it was my worst day.

That day, was.

Until I could only relive it. Over and over, we met. A makeshift pawn pretending to be a knight.

I can remember other things, too. The taste of iron as my skull threatened to break from everything.

Everyone wanted me dead, or so I thought.

They sure weren't holding back, though.

I can remember the force, and the first time I felt it. My veins turned to ice as my blood went cold from the contempt of my captors. If only they would make sense. Why, why was nothing making sense? If only I could just make them make sense.

I didn't realize what was happening as he screamed.

From that moment on, I utilized my pain towards anyone who would give chase. Without fail, always receiving some for myself.

It hurt.

It hurt so much. So much that dying would have been easy. Too easy.

I almost envied them as I twisted their bodies: their warped forms frozen in my mind.

They're with me, just as you are. Frozen, like I was. Like I have been.

It's given me a lot of time to think. About you, mainly. At least, I try. They're most of my good memories.

I've spent more time remembering you than knowing you.

I wish-I wish that had been me. Even now, even after his end, I wish I could have been him.

But you said that didn't matter to you. I was him.

But I'm not.

I mean, It would have been nice to have had a family who cared about me, and a precious friend. It would have been so nice.

My 'family' consisted of the Queen of our match, and the rest of her pawns. She liked to think of herself as the player, I'm sure, but she fell victim to the game all the same.

Her end came from a pawn, no less. Over and over and over and over in my never-ending day.

That's almost funny, really. But mostly, I wish we could all start over.

You, me, and even my 'siblings'.

Had we met under different circumstances, I could say that I knew you.

I came close. I heard your call and kept you near. You were the first thing about my world that made sense.

Of course I should protect you: you were my friend.

Even when I found out that was a lie, as my foundation of being crumbled, you kept me with you.

Regardless of everything else, you believed in me. Whether it was blind devotion to him, or simply having no better choices, that was all I needed.

I would live for you. I would die for you.

Because dying was so easy.

Funny that was so wrong. If I had been aware of the loop, could I have known you in more ways?

Each scenario giving rise to new dimensions of your personality, your interests and our dynamic.

An eternity of suffering might not be so bad, then.

That only day of my life finally ended.

A second chance?

If only.

You were different. I hadn't even known the first you, and suddenly you were different.

And yet reassuringly the same.

One last day, and we could finally…

But then, another eternity. This time, no repeats.

It was only a second to me.

You're still waiting there for me, from my sense of time.

Waiting for our real chance.

But now I know the truth.

Where you really are…

You went to where he is.

I wonder…

As I wait here, I can only wonder.

Your voice surrounds me, granting a final comfort like my first 'end'.

This is definitely it, though. There's no going back.

I don't want there to be, really.

My existence was grounded by yours.

Maybe that's why I could never die, before.

Maybe that's why this is it.

As I wait and listen to what I'm sure is your call, I wonder-

Could I reach where you are, too?