Rated M for violence. Probably doesn't need to be rated M, but better safe than sorry.
Kiazuki Murder Spree
"No, Kiazuki, don't do this!"
"Don't try to stop me, Hanazuki! This is what the fans want! I'll get an Emmy for this!"
On the dark side of the moon, Kiazuki raised a gory axe over her head. Hanazuki could only sob at the scene unfolding before her. She closed her eyes as tears spilled down her cheeks. To think, not so long ago, she had been skipping through a grove of treasure trees and humming merrily…
"La la la!" Grinning widely, Hanazuki came to the end of the row, and peeked around the last tree. In the distance, on the boundary of the dark side of the moon, Hanazuki saw Kiazuki hunched over. Hanazuki raised an eyebrow. "Huh. That's weird."
Still smiling, Hanazuki skipped over to see what Kiazuki was doing. "Heeeey, Moonflower Sister, are things going great for you today, or are they going gr-"
Kiazuki cast a glare over her shoulder.
Hanazuki froze when she noticed the giant axe on the ground before Kiazuki. Feeling a creeping fear, her mouth formed a circle as she stared. "Uhm… What's that?" she asked, pointing to the axe.
Kiazuki smiled. "Great timing, Hanazuki!" She turned back to her axe and resumed running a stone across the edge. "You know our show isn't as popular as it should be, right? And you know how everyone hates all the characters who are inanimate objects with faces?"
"I don't like where this is going…" Hanazuki gasped. "No! Do not cut down my treasure trees!"
"Pbbt!" Kiazuki waved her hand dismissively. "I'm not talking about the trees! Everyone loves the trees, because they don't talk, and they're just plain cool."
Hanazuki exhaled. "Oh, what a relief! I was worried you were going to- Wait, so what is the axe for?"
"That!" Kiazuki, a wild gleam in her eyes, raised the axe and pointed off toward a field, where a grinning Doughy was plucking treats.
"Come on, Hanazuki! We'll get rid of all the bad characters like him that everyone hates!"
Hanazuki raised an eyebrow. "Doughy? But the fans don't hate Doughy! I mean, come on, that would be crazy!" She gave a nervous chuckle.
"Trust me, Hanazuki, they do. Now, are you with me or what? Come on! We'll reboot this series so it's just us moonflowers! That's what everyone really wants to see!"
"Wait, Kiazuki, what are you going to do?"
Upon hearing Kiazuki unleash a battle cry and seeing her charge towards Doughy with the axe arced over her head, Hanazuki yelped and slapped her hands against her cheeks. Once she'd recovered from her shock, Hanazuki raced after Kiazuki. Waving her arms frantically, Hanazuki cried out, "Stop, Kiazuki! Don't do this! There are other ways to make the show better! Let's talk this over more!"
"There's nothing to talk about!" Kiazuki called back.
The girls arrived before the unsuspecting Doughy. He smiled a big dopey grin at Kiazuki as she raised her axe overhead.
"Kiazuki, don't!"
"Yaaaa!"
Hanazuki shrieked. And then the screaming started. Kiazuki brought the axe down again and again, splattering blood- or perhaps it was cream filling- everywhere as she gored and dismembered the sentient hot dog/pastry thing. Doughy moaned from the pain and writhed in the puddle of blood.
"Nooo!" Tears spilled from Hanazuki's eyes. "Kiazuki, please stop! He's my friend! And this is a children's show!"
"Don't try to stop me, Hanazuki! This is what the people want! I'll get an Emmy for this!" Kiazuki continued hacking away, until Doughy fell silent.
Hanazuki's piercing wails and heavy sobbing gave Kiazuki pause. "Why are you crying?"
"W-Why'd you do it, Kiazuki? Whh-hh-hyyy?!"
Kiazuki gave an exasperated sigh. "Hanazuki, nobody cares about Hotdog Jones, and the show will be so much better without him! I did you a favor!" Kiazuki wrapped an arm around Hanazuki and pulled her close. "Just imagine it! No more ridiculous filler about freakish talking hotdogs, just you and me, facing down the Big Bad and strengthening our moonflower sister bond!"
Hanazuki sniffed. "Wait… His name wasn't Hotdog Jones… Aren't you confusing him with Dazzlessence Jones?"
Kiazuki's eyes lit up. "Good idea! We can get rid of him next!"
"No, no, no!" Hanazuki waved her hands emphatically. "I don't want you hurting anyone else, Kiazuki! You know, I don't like seeing you like this. I look up to you a whole lot and stuff… So, please… Why don't you just stop?" Lip quivering and hands pressed together, Hanazuki gave Kiazuki a soulful look.
Kiazuki pursed her lips and crossed her arms. "Me? What do you mean by that? We're in this together, Hanazuki!"
"What?! But I didn't do anything!"
Pointing at Hanazuki, Kiazuki declared, "You're my accomplice! Do you think anyone would believe I'd axed Hotdog Jones on my own?"
Hanazuki gaped. "Um, yes! I do think so! You do crazy stuff all the time, and you're very capable of this! I know, because I saw you do it! Everyone else knows too!"
Kiazuki shrugged. "Well, say what you want. But you're here, at the scene of the crime, accompanying me. What do you think that makes you? And what do you think the authorities will think when they catch us?"
The gears in Hanazuki's head turned, her eyes growing wider and wider every second, until a bell went off. Hanazuki pressed her hands against her cheeks and gasped. "You're right! I'm an accomplice! Oh no, no, no!"
"That's right! And the only way we're going to get through this is if we stick together! We have to get them before they get us! Don't trust anything with a face!"
"Oh!" Hanazuki cast her horrified gaze over their surroundings, and began trembling on account of what she saw. In a whisper, she said, "Everything has a face!"
"Not for long! Hiya!" Kiazuki slammed her axe down on a smiling pyramid, who was rather displeased by the attack, but not significantly harmed.
"Okay, okay, I really think you shouldn't do that!" Hanazuki said. "In fact…" She took ahold of Kiazuki's axe and, trying to get it away from her, gave it a tug. "Why don't we just get rid of this before we get in more trouble?"
"Hey! Let go, Hanazuki! I need this to defend us!"
"That's okay! I'll hold on to it for you!"
The ensuing tug-of-war ended with the axe slipping out of both their grasps and flying down into a ravine, where it was disintegrated by a river of lava.
Hanazuki and Kiazuki stared down at the lava.
"…Way to go."
"What? It's not a big deal!" Hanazuki gave a nervous chuckle and shrugged. "I mean, you didn't want the authorities to catch us with that, did you? Probably for the best that it dissolved in lava!"
"Hmm… Maybe you're right…" Kiazuki pursed her lips and put her hand to her chin. She looked at Doughy. "Should we throw him in too?"
"No! We should not do that!"
A sudden rustling sound startled the two moonflowers (Hanazuki, who was particularly jumpy at that moment, let out a little scream and jumped), and some babbling caught their attention. Emerging from the grove of treasure trees came a colorful procession of Hemkas, led by an angry-looking Red Hemka.
"Oh no! They're looking for us! They'll see Doughy and then they'll know, and who knows what they'll do to us once they know!" Hanazuki started pacing. "Oh no, oh no…"
Kiazuki slapped Hanazuki. "Snap out of it! We have to get out of here before they find us!" Grabbing Hanazuki by the arm, she dragged her off in the opposite direction.
"What are we going to do?" wailed Hanazuki. "They're going to catch us!"
"No they won't! I know! Let's hide at Kiyoshi's palace!"
"Kiyoshi?" Hanazuki's eyes lit up. "No, wait! I've got a better idea!"
"Darn. I really wanted to hide at Kiyoshi's palace. So, what's your idea?"
"Sleepy Unicorn has magic, right?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess."
"And magic can do anything, right?"
"Yes, of course! That's brilliant Hanazuki! We can wipe out all the things with faces in one go with that kind of power!"
Hanazuki's eyelids drooped and her happy mien changed to troubled. "No, no! I was going to say we can get him to put Doughy back together for us!"
"What?" Kiazuki's excitement fell. She stopped running so she could scowl at Hanazuki. "Hanazuki, I'm starting to think you don't want to help me get rid of all the annoying characters on this show! You are still with me, aren't you?"
"Wh-What? Of course I'm with you, Kiazuki. I've never been against you or anything! Don't be ridiculous!" Hanazuki laughed nervously.
Unfortunately, Mirror Flower was nearby, and she shifted into Hanazuki and said, "I'm so not with Kiazuki on this! I have to find a way to calm her down and keep her from hurting anyone else, but she's in one of her crazy moods, so I have to play it cool and be careful not to upset her, or she'll go running off on a rampage!"
"I knew it!" Kiazuki yelled. "Urrrh!" She ripped a screaming Mirror Flower up by the roots and tossed her into the air.
Hanazuki was horrified. "Wait, Kiazuki, the fans all love Mirror Flower! What are you doing?!"
Furious, Kiazuki pointed at Hanazuki accusingly and said, "It's not always about what the fans want! Sometimes it's about what the show needs!" With a frustrated scream, she turned on her heel and ran off.
"Where's she going? Oh no, oh no…" With an agonized mien, Hanazuki paced in circles. "Ohhh! Do I go after her? No, there's no stopping her when she's like that. Gotta find Sleepy Unicorn. He'll know what to do."
Hanazuki ran to Sleepy Unicorn's favorite napping spot, shook him awake, and begged him to revive Doughy. Sleepy Unicorn just yawned.
"I can't use magic to revive Doughy. He is as he should be right now." The unicorn yawned again and set his head down.
"What?!" Hanazuki cried out. "What is that even supposed to mean?! 'He is as he should be.' That's just crazy! He's dead! There's no way that's how he should be! I mean, this is a children's show, for crying out loud! Besides, I thought magic could do anything! So do something!"
"We all gotta grow up sometime, Hanazuki…" Sleepy Unicorn yawned again, before closing his eyes.
"I see how it is!" Hanazuki railed. "Kiazuki already got to you, didn't she?! You're against talking hotdogs too, aren't you? Well, fine! I'll solve this problem by myself, like I always do!"
Getting no response from the napping unicorn, Hanazuki stormed off in a huff. Hanazuki only got a few steps before she broke down. "Who am I kidding? I can't fix this!" She found a secluded spot to hug her knees and cry. Little Dreamer brought her a treasure, but she didn't feel like dealing with it, so she immediately threw it over her shoulder. Unbeknownst to her, it grew into a black treasure tree.
"Hanazuki!"
"Ahhh!" Hanazuki jumped. She was shocked to see Dazzlessence Jones and the Hemkas gathered around her.
"Hanazuki, Doughy's been axed!" Jones said. "Have you seen Kiazuki? We think she's the one who had Doughy evisceraaaaaated!"
"Uhhhh…." Hanazuki's eyes shifted. "Nope, haven't seen her." She donned a twitchy smile.
"Mm-hmm…" Dazzlessence Jones eyed her suspiciously. "Well, we gotta find her before she hurts anyone else. Come on, guys! When we catch her, we're going to give her the harshest punishment we've got on this moon!"
Hanazuki smiled and waved as they left. Once they were gone, she fell into a panic.
"I have to find Kiazuki before they do!"
Hanazuki ran around frantically, searching anywhere she could think of, but there was no sign of Kiazuki anywhere. "Come on, think! Where would Kiazuki go?" After a moment of thinking, an idea struck her and her eyes lit up.
Sure enough, Hanazuki found Kiazuki sulking by Chickenplant's cliff. Chickenplant had been uprooted, and to silence her complaining Kiazuki had replanted her upside down, with her head completely buried. But now Kiazuki was just sitting there, looking defeated, her mood stripes glowing black. She didn't look up as Hanazuki approached.
Seeing her friend so down, Hanazuki's heart melted. "Ohh! I'm so sorry, Kiazuki! I was so busy worrying about Doughy, that I didn't notice you were hurting too. I should have been a better friend and listened to you." Reaching a hand out and touching Kiazuki's shoulder, Hanazuki asked, "You alright, Kiazuki? Wanna tell me what's bothering you?"
Angry, Kiazuki waved her arms and said, "I told you already. I wanted to make the show better and all those weird characters were holding us back. Seriously Hanazuki, look at the ratings of individual episodes, and you'll see there's a negative correlation between those and the amount of screentime Hotdog Jones has. The fans are always complaining about how stupid talking hotdogs are. They only like the moonflowers. I thought if we gave them what they want, then our show would finally get all the accolades and awards it deserves."
"Is that really all that was bothering you? Be honest, Kiazuki."
"I…" Kiazuki slumped over and rubbed her shoulder, looking to be on the verge of tears. She sighed. "I guess… I guess I wanted to spend more time with you and go on adventures and stuff. But all those dumb characters kept getting in the way and hogging all the episode time."
"Ahh, you wanted to spend more time with me? That's sweet of you!" Hanazuki gave Kiazuki a big hug. "But you didn't need to go all crazy to get my attention! We'll always be together, so just ask and I'll hang out with you whenever!"
"Yeah, I guess…" Kiazuki put on an indifferent look, but her mood ring glowed pink.
"Anything else?" Hanazuki asked. When Kiazuki bit her lower lip and wouldn't say anything, Hanazuki urged her on, saying, "Let it all out!"
"I don't know… I guess I was kind of worried that if all those characters kept hogging screentime, my popularity would go down and nobody would like me anymore."
"You were worried about that? Really?" Hanazuki gave a reassuring chuckle. "Come on, Kiazuki! Everyone loves you!" She squeezed Kiazuki again. "You're amazing, Kiazuki. And, you know, I think it's mostly thanks to you that we have such a great show."
Kiazuki perked up a little. "Yeah, well, I am pretty awesome." She donned a self-deprecating smile. Hanazuki smiled too.
At that moment, Little Dreamer showed up to give them both treasure.
"Not now!" Hanazuki said. "We're kind of having a moment!"
"Aha!" cried out a melodic voice.
Hanazuki gasped. Dazzlessence Jones and the Hemkas had followed Little Dreamer right to them.
"Got you! Prepare to meet your puuuuuunishment!" Dazzlessence Jones grabbed Kiazuki by the wrist and held her up in the air; Kiazuki merely wore a dumbfounded look on her face as she dangled.
"Hey, wait! It's not her fault!" Hanazuki cried out.
Dazzlessence shot a fierce look at Hanazuki. "Don't tell me you had something to do with this too, Hanazuki?!"
"Well… Uh…" Hanazuki fiddled her thumbs.
"No!" Kiazuki's voice rang out clear and strong. "She didn't do anything. It was all me. I'm the one who axed Hotdog Jones. Hanazuki tried to stop me, but I wouldn't listen."
"Well, that settles it! Time for our harshest punishment!" In an attempt to be cool and dramatic, Dazzlessence Jones took off his sunglasses, then gave the sentence: "A time out!"
"Oh no!" Hanazuki cried out.
"It's fine, Hanazuki," Kiazuki said. "This is my punishment for my crime, so don't worry."
As Kiazuki was hauled off, Hanazuki smiled through the tears spilling from her eyes. "I'll wait for you, Kiazuki!"
"Don't wait! Twenty-two minutes is a long time! Live your life!"
"Well… I do have to replant Mirror Plant and Chickenplant and make sure they're okay… But I'll be back soon to see you, and I'll be there when you get out!"
Kiazuki smiled and nodded. Dazzlessence Jones kept moving, tearing the two apart, hauling Kiazuki closer and closer to retribution and reformation. Once Hanazuki was out of sight, Kiazuki faced forward. It was with a brave mien that Kiazuki met her time out.